Chapter 30

I was forever yours

The Next Day…

Spike entered the hospital room and a smile spread across his face.

"You're finally awake."

Buffy looked at him and whispered a barely audible, "yeah."

Spike knelt down beside her, "How are you doin' love?"

"My jaw still hurts." She managed.

"Yeah, I imagine so. I could've killed the wanker after I saw what 'e did to you." Gripping the edge of the bed.

Buffy nodded and turned her head towards the window, "Pike."

Spike's smile suddenly faded away and he stood up, "What did you say?"

"My L.A. past." A tear slide down her cheek.

"He's your ex?"

Buffy nodded and more tears fell from her eyes, what hurt even more than her jaw was her heart. She still had feelings for him deep down. It was Pike; the guy who always picked her for his soccer team during recess, stuck up for her when the other kids made fun of her nickname. But somewhere along the line Pike changed, he was no longer the person that she'd known, that she'd loved.

Spike handed her a tissue, "Buffy what- what 'appened?"

She turned to look at him and Spike felt his heartbreak a bit, "I-I need to rest."

Spike felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach, "Buffy just tell me, I wanna 'elp you, be 'ere for you. Please."

She turned back to the window, "Please go, I-I can't." tears were still sliding down her cheek, she held the tissue that he'd given her but she wasn't using it.

"Buffy I want to-" he didn't get to finish.

Buffy felt her stomach twist up in a knot, she couldn't take it anymore, she gripped the sheets tightly, "GET OUT!" she shouted.

Spike stared at her for a second before backing out of the room, "I hope you get better love." He whispered.

Buffy made a decision then, she was done with it. Done with him. He was the reason that she was hurting this much. He made her start to love again, made her feel. It had started with Angel, who had really loved her, but Spike was the one she'd been more comfortable with. And now she was in pain again, because he refused to accept what she was. And she was a Slayer.

Cecily had been right when she'd said that Buffy was going soft, but no more. Buffy was going to start over; she had created Slayers for a reason and didn't live up to it. But now she would, nothing would stop her this time.

Besides, she'd been a fool for love far too long.