Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the film King Arthur, nor do I own the myth, or anything else, just the girl character who I realize doesn't have a name yet.
Clarification for Zelina: Brutus was the little dude who tried to save his sister in chapter…something. Chapter two I guess.
oh yeah, can anyone tell me what "mary-sue" means? And is "beta-reading like proof-reading? Oh well, I am off to study for AP French exam...the horror! srry this is so short.
Chapter Five: Alone in My Thoughts
I am out of breathing, moving slower, and starting to sink. So close. The others wade out, and grab Galahad, dragging him back to shore. He looks dead. Lancelot looks at me in utter loathing, and hits me, hard. I already can't breathe, and am on the ground, I look back over to Galahad. I can feel my chest rise and fall with great magnitude as I breathe…breathe…..breathe? I crawl back to Galahad, quickly, and put my mouth over his and exhale deeply. I do it again. Nothing. I feel for a pulse, his heart still beats! I am crying, I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. I feel like the bringer of death and misery, it follows me. Or maybe I create it. I try once more, I give him breath, but something happens this time, his eyes open! He sputters and coughs, sees my face and pushes me away. He is alive. The others rush around him, pushing me away. They huddle around him, give him a blanket, walk him back up the shore, place him on a horse, and walk away. All of them. Tristan looks over his shoulder at me as I watch their silhouettes disappear, and they are gone.
By all rights they should have killed me. I could be a spy, I nearly got Galahad killed. But I was scared to stay, scared at the possibility of growing attached to people again. All those I've ever loved have left, gone, in one form or another. My family. Secunda. Little Brutus. Once I even had a pet rabbit for a week or so, until my neighbor grew hungry. I sigh. That look Galahad had given me. Like I had betrayed him. Like I sickened him. Like I wasn't worthy of being spoken to, and something else, like he had just figured something out about the world, or me. So much guilt. I wish they had tried to kill me. I wish they had tried to hurt me, so that I could hate them and get on with my life!It was so much easier to feel anger than it was to feel shame. But no, they hadn't tried to kill me. They realized that I went back for Galahad when I didn't have to. So they let me go, the honorable thing to do, a life for a life. But they had left me with a horrible pit in my heart, this terrible guilt. They had trusted me.
"Argh!" I scream in frustration, and kick a tree root. Of course, this only hurts my foot, I collapse beside the tree and curl into a ball. No, I try to convince myself, I didn't betray them. I was their prisoner. It's a natural desire, to run, to escape. They didn't have to follow, I meant them no harm. And maybe they were going to hurt me, or would have when they discovered my secret. What reason did I have to trust them? Then again, why reason did they have to trust me? What reason even to let me live in the first place. I don't know what to do. I am very alone.