Warning: This is positively the dirtiest chapter so far (humor wise - don't go all report happy because as we all know, movies like "Austin Powers" were Rated PG-13!). You are hereby warned of the various perverted-ness of the author, the characters, and the Universe. There is also an overuse of "…" sentence trailing and the like.

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho © Yoshihiro Togashi.


Mischief 101

By Zelia Theb

III: Boy-yoy-yoy-yoy-yoing!

After leaving Keiko, the detective found himself in his dorm room, which was larger because he and Kurama had transferred to the senior wing. The scent of roses filled the air; and Yusuke noticed that Kurama must have taken up gardening while he was out. It was rather difficult to even find his friend in the place; what with the leaves and all dangling from the walls and ceiling.

"Kurama?" Yusuke called out, wondering where the redhead could be. He was answered when two arms felt their way around his waist and pulled him in close to a body.

Kurama's body.

"Mmm," Kurama moaned into his ear while he nuzzled it, "I've been waiting for you all day." His left hand felt its way up the buttons of Yusuke school uniform and began to undo them one by one.

"…Kurama…" Yusuke whispered as he leaned in, allowing his blankets to trace trails up and down his body.

Which woke the boy up from his erotic dream. He was in the same dorm room he moved into last week, and Kurama was just waking up in the bed less than a meter away from his. Quickly, Yusuke cuddled his blankets up to cover everything from the waist down.

"Mmm…" Kurama yawned, reminding Yusuke of his dream only moments ago, "What's wrong Yusuke?" As the questioned teen pondered on how to answer the question, he was distracted by Kurama's messy hair, which wasn't as messy as one would expect in the morning. His night reverie replayed over and over again, and it was official; that's what Kurama's hair would look like after they did…it.

"I had a funny dream…" Yusuke muttered accidentally.

"As did I," Kurama replied, also making sure not to get out of bed too quickly, "What was yours like?"

"Well…first…" Yusuke stuttered, wondering how Kurama so easily talked him into this, "I was with Keiko, and we were walking around town just talking. For some reason she smacked me and said, 'Yusuke! You better ask me to marry you!' so then I did just to get her to shut up and then…" The detective paused his rambling; "She smacked me again and said that she won't ever marry me because I make her worry too much. After that, we got ice cream with Kuwabara…and then…I…" Yet another pause occurred as Yusuke wondered if he should tell Kurama about the end of his dream. It wasn't all that long of a pause; "I woke up!"

"Disturbing," said his friend, who was disheartened when he heard Yusuke talk of marrying Keiko. It wasn't that he wasn't happy for his friend to have a childhood sweetheart…it was just…

"What about you?"

The fox blinked, "Me?" He yawned once more and answered, "Well, I was scampering between the Ich-Ich trees of the Batubaral Forest with a Moe-Moe doll in my grips…having just stolen it from the famously sealed off caverns of…"

"Whoa whoa whoa…" Yusuke stopped him, "You lost me.

"No no no…" Kurama continued, mimicking his friend, "It's actually I who was lost, even though I've been through that forest several times before…"

The detective would have had all his hair in his fists, if he wasn't still half asleep. Instead he concluded, "So you dreamt about some bust you made in the Demon World?"

"In summary, yes."

"Ah." A striking revelation hit him (many things seem to be attacking him lately); Kurama had slept without a shirt on. It was strange, because as much as Yusuke could remember, Kurama would always be the most covered of them, no matter where they were; arms and all.

And there was a scar across his stomach. No wider than four fingers, it marked his left abdomen like ivory lettering embedded on a jewelry box. It was not a shallow red scar.

"Kurama?" Yusuke's voice reached him with a tone of concern. The remnants of his wound did not cross his mind, but his nudity did. His complete and utter nudity (although Yusuke only saw his top half, and only wanted to inquire as to the nature of his past injury).

"Um…I'm sorry," the boy blushed, pulling his blankets up more and obscuring the scar, "I can't believe that it happened again, and in such a short time of being here."

"Huh?" the other teen remarked, confused.

"You're wondering why I have no clothes on, yet last you saw me I had them on, correct?"

"Eer…" Yusuke stammered; was it a real dream? Must have been…right?

"Sometimes I completely undress myself in my sleep and I don't remember it," Kurama offered up.

Red was the popular skin color of choice during the morning. Yusuke couldn't contain himself, so he had to do something, and quick, before the ever-so-astute Kurama could guess what was going on his brain.

Although his next joke wasn't really aiding his cause.

"Oh, that? Don't you remember?" The ebony-haired teen smirked devilishly and crawled onto the opposite bed; his weight urging Kurama's blankets to come off (but they didn't, due to his relatively strong hands restraining such an action).

(Making a tent, no pun intended…)

"I sense that you'll remind me," Kurama quipped in response.

"Oh yes, first we wined and dined…and then we came back here for dessert…" Yusuke's face was relatively close, and though the absence of morning-dragon-breath surprised Kurama, the way that his friend's eyebrows so comically moved up and down did even more.

"Ah, yes, I remember now." Kurama closed his eyes and smiled widely; "Dessert wasn't all that spectacular." Ah, now that got Yusuke off of his bed. It would have been terrible if he would have slipped and fallen onto him. Ouch.

"Whaddya mean?" Yusuke exclaimed after landing on his feet, "I'm great in bed!"

"Let's see…" the redhead mused, standing from the bed while holding the covers over him, "I've heard 'Urameshi's a punk'; 'Urameshi's a killer zombie'; and 'That Urameshi kid'll bust you up good'…but I've never heard any character witnesses say otherwise…" Kurama then chuckled to himself as he tied the corners of the blankets; searching for his misplaced pajamas.

"Yeah, ya gotta point there," Yusuke remarked (not referring to the blunt object beneath Kurama's sheets), "Keiko doesn't put out so…"

Eyes went wide on both ends. Yusuke's due to his own inner musings regarding his dream and his current hormonal state of being, and Kurama's because he was not expecting something so crude from his friend's mouth.

However, class was to start in thirty minutes, and if they wanted breakfast (real food…not a 'quick-shake'; again; no punchlines intended), they had to leave relatively soon.


Atsuko (Yusuke's loving young mother) received word from the school that Yusuke was doing relatively well; his attendance thus far was perfect, and while his homework wasn't always correct, his two quiz scores were well above average. She figured that his roommate was rubbing off on him, or that she was right all along; her son wasn't as dumb as that school made him out to be.

So she called him there, congratulating him, and then hung up after announcing that her 'ride to the bar was downstairs'.

When he returned to his dorm, he not only found Kurama seated pensively at the desk completing homework, but Hiei lounging in the window. The expression on the short fire-demon's face was his notable 'I don't care' look of indifference, shadowed by his wildly untamed raven strands of hair. Anyone meandering around the detective's head would have found the words 'adorable' and 'mysterious' adding in with that description. Hey, he said that he though Hiei was cute, but he wasn't attracted to him! He was attracted to Kur…

"Not even so much as a greeting," Hiei scowled from the sill, "Hn."

"If I say hi that means I'm acknowledging you're here, and you're probably here because Koenma made you come," the boy retorted.

"There is no reason that I'm here."

"Well, hi then, honey bumpkins! 1" Yusuke mocked in a high pitched voice, running over and tackling Hiei in a bear hug, "I'm so glad that you came all this way just to visit me!"

"Hmrphet phoffuvme!" Hiei clearly said into Yusuke's chest.

"Aren't we just the cutest couple?" Kurama's voice taunted from the desk chair, smiling wickedly as if he knew some sort of secret.

Arms flailed as the shortest of the three continued to struggle under Yusuke's overly-affectionate false display. As if he were a feline, the boy nuzzled his face against Hiei's cheek, saying, "Yes we are, aren't we. Jealous?" Yes, the demon's crimson colored eyes were infatuated with jealously over the current hue of his face, although excited that they both matched. However, the question was directed at Kurama.

Who wanted to answer affirmatively, but also wanted to find a camera and take a photograph of the Hiei torture…eer…loving.

"Hn!" Hiei puffed out once he was let go. Several heavy breaths were taken as he settled back into his seat on the windowsill. He glared at the 'huggle-monster' through the corners of his eyes, trying to make sense of why he was so horribly embarrassed. But the torment was only to continue.

"He should really let loose once in a while, dontcha think Kurama?" Yusuke teased, lightly elbowing Kurama to cue up their next act.

"Oh, yes, I do believe so…"

"He's just so damn cute, he should really stay here all night."

"Oh, yes, I agree," the fox echoed, "You absolutely must stay with us, Hiei."

A contortion of facial muscles resulted, and the fire-demon found himself speechless for a second.

"That look…" Yusuke began.

"…Is priceless," Kurama finished.

"You're becoming more human by the second, fox!" Hiei shouted, pointing an accusing finger their way, "How dare you two insinuate that I'd like to stay here in the detective's bed!"

"Uh, Hiei," the detective of mention interrupted, "It was both of our beds."

Embarrassment colored Hiei's normally near-pale complexion once more and his small fists clenched up as he announced, "Hn. Idiots." Predictably, the demon used the window as an exit.

"Sheesh, what was that about?" the instigating teen muttered in question.

"You may or may not recall various times during our missions in which I informed you that he was starting to like you, even though he would appear to be acting rather nasty," the redhead said, glancing back down at his homework. Yusuke chose to ignore the new information, even though he was flattered. He figured that his ego was big enough as is.

It was visitor crazy. When the detective had finally sat down and started his homework (no really, he actually was doing his homework), someone, or in this case, three people, knocked on his door. Sighing heavily, the boy went to go answer it, but his friend stopping him, sensing that Yusuke should focus on his work more than the door.

Upon answering it, Kurama was greeted by his oh-so-favorite admirer, Kino the blonde-with-dark-roots playboy bully.

"What is it," stated Kurama smugly.

"Hey there Minamino, calm down there," Kino creepily said, "Just wanted to let you know that tomorrow's my birthday."

"We're partying in our dorm!" one of his louts chimed.

"So it'd be just wonderful if you dropped by to give me a present…"

"I regret to inform you that I won't be seeing you," the invited guest replied, his voice monotone and steady.

"Oh, that's cool, I'm into that whole bondage thing if you don't want to keep your eyes open." Kino and his adherents laughed, stopped by one Yusuke Urameshi.

Fake boyfriend mode was on. He strutted over to door, placing a single dry kiss on Kurama's cheek, and demanded, "What's going on here?" Both boys had to disregard what had just happened, though it felt like heaven to have such gentle human contact, and focus on making Kino go away.

"You should dump Urameshi and come bunk in our room, Minamino," the bully suggested, "We've got lots of space, in fact, my bedroom is bigger than his place all put together."

"I enjoy it here," Kurama explained. The victimized boy went to shut the door on their guests, but Kino placed a firm hand in it.

"That's it," Yusuke announced, "I can pound ya now, or pound ya never. If you're smart, you'd pick never and leave, but then again, by coming here it's apparent that you aren't."

"Yu-" Kurama began to protest, only to have Yusuke hold a finger to his lips. Hah, who was whipped now?

"You wouldn't hit me, I'd clobber you," Kino boldly presumed. He stepped inside the room, hand raising to grab Kurama's arm, and instead found a tough fist in his face and then marble against his back.

"Whoa, Kino, man, you okay?"

"Whoa. Dude."

Yusuke shook his fist; not because it hurt; but because he wasn't used to punching so lightly as of late.

"Better not try that again, Urameshi," Kino threatened as he stood, "I'm the principal's pet, and if Minamino ain't there tomorrow, you're both gonna get expelled when I tell him what you did."

Yusuke's temper flared; "Whaddya do, suck him off?" The insult slipped off of Kino like rain water.

"I'll go," stated Kurama flatly.

A black eyebrow rose, and on instinct rather than acting, the detective held Kurama close, announcing, "And he's coming with me. Got a prob?"

"Ooh, tight leash," the blonde cackled, "See ya there, Minamino." The trio left and their door was shut, however, the predicament was not over.

"Why do you let them do that to you?" Yusuke wondered and yelled out loud, "I don't get it! I mean, here you are, this big tough infamous high-class demon and you're taking crap from some pitiful lowlife kid."

"My mother…"

"Who gives a flying f-, I mean, so let her see you stick up for yourself! Big deal!"

"YUSUKE!" Kurama shouted back fervently, taking the addressed boy by surprise, "There are rules! Rules set by Koenma that I have to follow, or else I am thrown into a Spirit World prison! I would not even be in such a place if you had not gotten a case of the sticky fingers!"

"Yeah!" Yusuke growled, "Well maybe if you woulda stayed out of it and worried about yourself instead of everyone else for once, you'd be fine!" The fox-demon settled, pondering the words, which were still coming at him; "I mean, damn, Kurama! It's like, when we go fighting the bad guys you always go in with some sort of suicide wish! Start caring about yourself! Even though you are a big hard-ass demon that doesn't mean you can take that kind of treatment lightly, or even that you deserve it!"

"I'm sorry," Kurama apologized, looking at the carpet, "For the outburst, Yusuke." Shuichi was more than just a name as of late; it was a personality; a teenaged boy; and the Universe was intent on proving that.

"Think nothin' of it," the boy assured him, "I'm just happy that you aren't as distant and shielded…ya know, that you're being a kid." Before Kurama could reply, he was tackled, tickled, and being wrestled with.

Leave it to Yusuke to lighten the mood by doing something ridiculous.

To Be Continued…


1 Fans of Huminshou will get it.

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Thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone!

Zelia Theb