by squidward
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A/N: My sincerest thanks to the following: artemisgirl, HeBa, RussellGrl, AngelicFairy, Mrs. CPT, Persephone's-child, airhead14, Angul-gurl, NinnyWeasley, Crystal, TigerLily130, On-A-Rainy-Day, Katsumi-Leostar, rosesinbloom, mastercreater, and Willa. One of you has been very sharp to note how long this thing would last, and this chap will explain it.
Bet you lot already saw PoA. Just like what I said before, it wasn't really good, but PoA is certainly better than the previous HP movies. And those RH moments… we were squealing in delight while watching it!
And just as promised, here comes a longer a chappie.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter.
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Chapter IV: Tête-à-tête
The footsteps of people filling the common room woke Ron up. He was lying on a sofa - eyes bloodshot and baggy, his face contorted. The noise annoyed him greatly for it disturbed his restfulness. He brushed his whiskers angrily and growled loudly at a first year that was clumsily passing by. The first year shrieked and ran, terrified, out of the portrait hole.
Ron's bad mood persisted, and it worsened when he heard the grumbling in his stomach. He hadn't eaten anything yet since yesterday night and last night's events used up all his energy. He looked up expectantly at the boy's dormitory, praying that Harry would already come down. With all the weird things that had happened, it was his company that he needed the most. Hermione was his bestfriend, he was perfectly aware of that, but there were times that boys only wanted a boy's company.
Finally he saw Harry climbing down the staircase. At first he felt delighted, but his happiness vanished quickly as he had felt it. Harry wouldn't understand him. It would be useless to talk to him because Harry would just be listening to his meows and growls and would no sooner understand him than confess his undying love for Snape.
But Ron's rapt attention didn't wear off. Behind Harry was Crookshanks – wide-eyed and fully awake, a perfect opposite of Dean, who was walking beside Seamus and was yawning openly with eyes half-shut. Watching Crookshanks amidst the sea of drowsing people gave Ron the impression that he was awake the whole night.
"Where's Hermione?" Ron jumped in surprise when he heard Harry's voice. Harry looked at him as if waiting for an answer and Crookshanks was watching the scene with great interest. It irritated Ron for a moment but felt that it was better to see Crookshanks watching him with that expression that to see him smirking menacingly.
"Oh, Harry, good morning." It was Hermione. She darted to Ron and grabbed him, making Ron blush. "And Ron," she added, turning to Crookshanks who just gave a grateful nod. Hermione watched him incredulously for a moment before turning back to Harry. "You weren't bullying my cat, weren't you?"
"That's a false accusation," said Harry, smirking. Hermione beamed.
"I thought Ron turned over to you the task of harassing my poor Crookshanks," she said jokingly, peering behind Harry to watch Crookshanks reaction. Crookshanks looked at Hermione blankly and Hermione laughed at the look on his face. Ron, however, growled and scratched the air angrily, looking very stupid.
'You don't have to sound that I'm torturing your stupid cat!' Ron thought furiously.
"Let's just go down then, Crookshanks is starving," Harry pointed and Ron's face went warm again.
"You didn't feed him last night," Crookshanks piped, which took Ron and Hermione by surprise.
"How did you now that?" Hermione asked curiously. Ron was watching Crookshanks with the same expression as Hermione's but Crookshanks just answered them with an air logical and rational thinker that didn't suit Ron's physical body.
"Well, you were looking after me in the hospital wing last night and when we went back here I didn't see you feeding him. And he was pestering me all the time while I'm doing the essay," he explained as they walked out of the portrait hole.
"Goes to show you are the one 'harassing' him instead," Harry chuckled. Hermione elbowed Harry playfully. "News to me that you actually cared for Crookshanks," she mumbled. Ron nodded in agreement.
"It doesn't mean that I cared," Crookshanks said defiantly. "I'm just deducing things from all the facts presented."
Harry snorted and Hermione and Ron eyed Crookshanks skeptically. "And when did you start playing Sherlock Holmes?"
"Who's Sherlock Holmes?" asked Crookshanks and Ron in unison, though Ron only managed a grumbling meow.
"He's a master detective from Muggle books. You should start reading some if you wanted to pursue that career," Hermione suggested in tone that he should not take what she said seriously. Crookshanks just shrugged and Harry laughed, but Ron noticed that Crookshanks was considering Hermione's suggestion.
They reached the Great Hall and filled their stomach rather quieter than they did on their way there. It wasn't that Harry despised peace and harmony but the fact that 'Ron' was behaving more civil than usual was quite disturbing. He glanced at Hermione and the look on her face told him that she was wondering the same thing. Harry remembered Hermione's joke to 'Ron', 'Maybe someone should always knock your head' and resisted the temptation of repeating it to them.
Ron, who was actually expectant to go down for breakfast, was feeling very sulky. There he was, starving, assuming that Hermione would give him enough nourishment and so he would strut out of the Great Hall with stomach full. Instead, a small bowl full of milk was placed under his nose. Ron felt Hermione's hand patting his head and it annoyed him greatly – she was depriving him from the food he should be eating.
"He looks grumpy, maybe you should give him some beacon," Crookshanks suggested without taking his eyes off his food.
"What?" asked Hermione, confusion painted all over her face.
"I'm referring to your pet," Crookshanks replied in the same tone. Ron listened to the conversation with baffled expression. Harry was doing the same.
"Ron, are you sure you're okay? Did you catch a fever or something?" Hermione asked worriedly.
"No, why did you ask?"
"'Cause you're being unusually, er, oh never mind," Hermione shook her head and placed the plate of beacon before Ron. Ron gave Crookshanks a puzzled look but the grumbling in his stomach told him that he should set aside his questions for a while and just dive on the plate. And dive on the plate he did.
Hermione, Harry and Crookshanks watched Ron ate the beacon hungrily. "I told you, he's starving," Crookshanks remarked. He took Harry and Hermione's astounded expressions as an agreement.
After finishing their breakfast Harry, Hermione, Crookshanks and Ron went out of the Great Hall. Hermione told them that she would just bring 'Crookshanks' in their dormitory and would be back shortly, but Crookshanks offered to bring him instead.
"I left my book in the dormitory so I'll just bring him with me," he explained hastily, watching their suspicious faces. "You don't mind if I'll just leave him in the common room?" he turned to Hermione and she nodded.
Crookshanks took Ron and dashed to the Gryffindor tower. Ron was shrieking wildly, suspecting that Crookshanks would do something nasty to him. Crookshanks chose to ignore him. When they reached the common room and found it deserted, Crookshanks sat on the nearest sofa and put Ron down.
"What's the point of shrieking like that?" Crookshanks spat. Ron was glaring at him and his furs were standing up.
"Look, I don't have much time. The class will start in twenty minutes so behave yourself," Crookshanks said diplomatically. Ron looked at him warily and hesitated if he should try to talk to him. Crookshanks, who seemed to read his mind, started, "Don't worry, I can understand you, you can talk to me."
But Ron did not believe him. He was standing five feet away from Crookshanks, fearing that he would strangle him anytime. Crookshanks eyed him impatiently. "Stop acting like a brat, okay! I'm here to explain what happened."
Ron stared at Crookshanks with utmost bewilderment. He searched his face for any sign of dishonesty, but found none. 'What is this all about?'
Incomprehensible meows were the only sound Ron let out and he winced. How on Earth could Crookshanks understand him?
"I told you, I could understand what you are saying. You asked 'what is this all about', right?" Ron's eyes widened. Crookshanks could really understand him! Questions started to flood his mind and all wanted to be asked.
'Did you know what happened to us? Why is it that you can understand me? How did I turn up in your body? How can I go back? How-'
"Let me just do the talking first, okay. I'll answer those later," said Crookshanks. He took a deep breath before starting again. "Our precious three minutes has been wasted," he muttered, glancing at his (Ron's) watch. "Please refrain yourself from interrupting me if you don't want your physical body late for classes."
Ron closed his mouth reluctantly and chose to listen. "That's better. I'll answer the second question you asked – I know what happened to us," he paused to look at Ron and when he saw that he was still paying attention he continued, "It's an ancient magic, and I'm sure Mistress Hermione didn't really mean it."
Ron didn't know if he should laugh or get mad. He wasn't used to hear someone calling Hermione 'Mistress'. Crookshanks took no notice and continued.
"When you and my Mistress were fighting, she cast an ancient spell on us without knowing it. Not that she didn't know the nature of this spell of course, she was the brightest with I've ever met. She was just too occupied to notice that we already switched bodies," Crookshanks sighed.
'An ancient spell?' Ron asked with confusion. He was getting a little impatient. Crookshanks, who was telling him earlier that they should hurry up, hadn't arrived yet to the proper explanation because he was busy defending Hermione's innocence.
"Yeah, an ancient spell," Crookshanks replied attentively. Ron was strongly of Hermione answering a teacher's question in class. "I assume that you know the nature of most ancient magic. No wands needed. And like most ancient magic, what happened to us was one of those nameless spells."
'When did she do it?' Ron asked, slightly annoyed that Crookshanks explained something that he already knew.
"Well, when you and my Mistress (Ron flinched again) were fighting, do you remember her saying that you and I should swap places sometime?"
The memory flashed in Ron's mind and caught Hermione's exact words, 'I wish you and Crookshanks swap places for a day, that will tell you how horrible you've been treating him!'
'You mean she actually cursed us when she said that?' Ron asked, his voice shaking.
"Yes and no. Just like what I said before, my Mistress didn't really mean to curse us. But what happened next was the reason her words turned into a spell."
'But I was unconscious after that!'
"Exactly. And I was unconscious too. My Mistress's grip became too tight that I passed out," Crookshanks winced, embarrassed that Hermione's embrace knocked him down. "We became unconscious at the same time, thus sealing her magic."
Ron looked fearfully at Crookshanks, flabbergasted. 'D-does i-it mean th-that we'll b-be like th-this – forever?'
"Of course not!" Crookshanks barked angrily. "I thought you remembered her exact words. Didn't she say 'for a day'?"
At this, Ron's eyes glistened. 'So by the end of the day we will be back to normal!'
Crookshanks fidgeted and looked away from him. He looked hesitant in replying, but he still answered Ron, "Er, we will, if – and only if – a memory from the past will happen again before the day ends."
'What do you mean?'
"A memory from the past involving the one who cast the spell and the one who was cursed must happen again before the said time runs out. Since my Mistress was talking to you when she did the magic, the chosen past memory that should be reenacted will be yours."
'And what if we didn't make it before the day ends?'
"Then, I'm afraid, our souls will be trapped in these bodies forever." Crookshanks gave Ron a dark look and Ron gulped. He wasn't expecting the whole thing to be so serious.
'T-trapped, fo-forever? I will be a cat forever!' Ron cried frightfully. Crookshanks, however, was mumbling something about not being a full cat, but Ron didn't care about what he was saying. He would never come back in his body if they failed to reenact the memory.
"That's why we have to cooperate with each other. Or else…"
'Are you sure you're going to help? You seem to be enjoying your 'human experience'!' Ron spat, desperation and hopelessness conquering him.
"Huh! As if I would prefer to live as Ron Weasley for the rest of my life! I vowed to serve my Mistress forever as her pet, and this magic will never break that. Aren't you the one who was enjoying the situation, with my Mistress cuddling you all the time?" Crookshanks said dramatically, making him sound like a house-elf. Ron became ferocious all of a sudden.
'What do you mean "enjoying the situation"?! I don't think of Hermione like that, you stupid scoundrel! You are the one sleeping with her all these years! How dare you accuse me when you're the one who has been a pervert all along!'
"Are you telling me that I had been lusting for her? Very stupid," Crookshanks shook his head. He was still very composed and seemed unaffected. "Only humans feel that. Lust is an unknown emotion for beasts or for any animal for that matter."
Ron was still glaring at him. Crookshanks glanced at his watch again. "We don't have time to argue, the time is running. We should also refrain from fighting if we want to get back to our respective bodies."
Grudgingly, Ron nodded. He didn't have any choice anyway. Crookshanks beamed at him. "Now, you have to choose a past memory involving you and my Mistress. The first thing that will come in your mind will be one we have to consider."
Ron closed his eyes. A memory involving him and Hermione. There were loads but only the first one that would occur to him would be essential. He concentrated, searching his mind. Then a memory flashed in his mind – Hermione's face coming closer, her soft lips touching his…
He opened his eyes, looking aghast. Of all the memories he had with her, why it had to be that kiss? He turned his trembling gaze to Crookshanks.
"Have a memory in mind now?" Ron nodded slowly. "Good. Now listen to me first. You have to keep that memory for yourself - don't tell me about it. I will be the one reenacting that memory, as I'm the one residing in your physical body. Now this is important – if you tell me what memory is that everything will be useless and we will be stuck in each other's body forever."
'What?! Why didn't you tell it earlier?!' Ron cried.
Crookshanks raised his brows. "Why? Any problem with the memory you chose?"
'Big problem,' Ron thought. Hermione only kissed him because she thought he was Crookshanks and there was no way she would kiss the Crookshanks in his body. 'Why don't we just tell this to Hermione, she might have other solutions for this.'
Crookshanks snickered. "Sure about that suggestion? Of course it would be the most practical way. I thought of that first but I decided to hide it from my Mistress in the end so as to save your neck. What do you think she'll do if she found out that you actually slept with her last night?"
'I didn't sleep with her!' Ron roared defensively, blood rushing on his face.
"Trying to be modest now, aren't we? But she was carrying you in her arms all night. You have been resting on her chest without her knowing. It was clear that you are taking advantage of her ignorance. You'll be dead meat if she finds out…"
'Alright, I got your point!' Ron yelled, his face livid. He took a deep breath before continuing. 'And what am I suppose to do in this? You said we need to cooperate.'
"Yeah, we really need to. Since you shouldn't tell me the chosen memory you just have to help me do it without telling me what to do."
'What?! And how am I going to do that?'
"You can drop hints, or set us up. Anything but telling me."
'Can't you just guess what that memory is?'
Crookshanks shot him a meaningful look and Ron felt that he was reading his mind. "Honestly, I can guess but I couldn't ask you to confirm it. But from the look on your face I think I already got it," Crookshanks smirked mischievously and Ron's face went warm.
'H-how d-did y-you find o-out th-this stupid spell, anyway?' Ron grumbled, desperate for a change of topic.
"My kind knows a great deal of things," Crookshanks said proudly. Ron frowned. Working with Crookshanks would be harder than he thought.
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