Author: Tracy
Category: D/R
Rating: PG
Summary: She was falling.
Archive: XFMU
Spoilers: Audrey Pauley
Notes: Thanks and puppies go to Traci who helped me out when this story hit a brick wall, and thanks, puppies and Tim Tams go to Kate for both her beta skills and her help in refining it.
XxX
She didn't understand what had happened to her. One minute she had been driving home, the next she'd woken up in a hospital unlike any she'd ever seen before. She was confused and scared; her head hurt, and she couldn't find John. She didn't know that he was watching over her in another place. She didn't know that he was fighting a desperate battle to keep her alive. She didn't know that he was just as alone and afraid as she was.
XxX
He knew Scully meant well, but her comfort was the last thing that he wanted. He wanted her expertise and professional opinion to tell him that Monica's doctors were wrong. But she didn't; she couldn't even offer him a small glimmer of hope and although he knew it was irrational, he hated her for that. Monica had been brought in conscious – groggy and stunned but conscious all the same, and he didn't understand how she could have slipped so far so quickly. Nothing made sense, but he knew that if they would just give her half a chance, Monica would do the rest.
XxX
She didn't know that he sat by her bed, eyes clouded, mind numb, willing her to come back to him. She didn't feel the soft touch of his fingers - calloused and hard, but so very gentle with her, as he tenderly caressed her face. She didn't respond when he held her hand or whispered her name. She didn't hear him pleading for her to open her eyes, to give him a sign that she was still there, to fight, damnit. And she didn't see him break when the doctors told him that she was never coming back.
XxX
He knew that wherever she was, she wasn't gone. She was still warm. Still breathing. And as long as he had a gun, a badge and the will to use them both, still alive. He knew that something was going on, something strange and wrong and more up Scully's alley than his. But he also knew that given time he'd unravel the puzzle and bring her back. He knew that nobody else saw this; that they all thought he was grasping at straws and putting off the inevitable, but he didn't care. He knew that he was right. Monica wasn't beyond hope; she was just lost. He knew that he could bring her home.
XxX
She wasn't entirely surprised when Audrey showed up the first time. She had an inkling of why she and the others were trapped in the hospital, and it made sense that they would need some kind of a guide. She was surprised though, at the message that Audrey passed along. She didn't doubt the sincerity of the words, but she didn't believe that John would have said them to a stranger, not when he couldn't even say them to her. She didn't know if he would understand the message that she sent back, but she hoped and prayed that he would.
XxX
He knew that time was running out. The vultures were hovering, rubbing their hands with glee at the thought of the harvest they would reap. Scully looked at him with pity, like he was clinging to a hope that had long since become hopeless. She didn't understand that he would never give up on her. He couldn't. And he couldn't understand why she, of all people, would give up so easily. Audrey was the only one who understood. Audrey knew that Monica wasn't gone. Audrey, alone out of everyone, knew why he had to find her. Audrey had made a believer out of him
XxX
She didn't know if it would work, how it could work, but she had to trust that Audrey knew what she was doing. So she fell.
XxX
He was out of ideas. He knew that Monica was still around . . . somewhere, and he knew that he didn't have much time left to find her. He also knew, without a doubt, that he would kill anyone who tried to cut her up.
XxX
She was falling . . .
XxX
He stood over her, willing her to come back, promising that if he was granted one more chance, just one, that he wouldn't waste it.
XxX
. . . and then someone caught her. She opened her eyes and there he was. "John." She had to tell him, had to warn him about Audrey. "Audrey . . ."
XxX
He raced down to the basement, but he was too late.
XxX
They stood on the footpath in front of her building, gazing at each other. "Goodnight," he said finally, because now wasn't the time to tell her.
"Goodnight," she responded, and turned to climb the stairs. She looked back at him before she entered the building, her eyes asking the question that his weren't ready to answer just yet, and then let the door close softly behind her.
Because she still didn't know.
End.