Hello, it is Star! Because I don't make you wait for chapters nearly as long as Chili does. So here is the newest installment in our ghetto fabulous fic.

Disclaimer: Hmmm, I dunno, its Chili who thinks up the good disclaimers. We are too bummed to think today. Our HS football team lost in the first round of the playoffs yesterday. We are so sad.

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Summary: When last we left our story, Ghetto Gollum was about to attack poor Leggy. By the way, this is all in flashback, remember? Chili just lives to make life difficult for me by ending her chapter is strange ways. :waves: Hi hoe!!! (don't yell at me, that's her nickname:)

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Gollum jumped in fright when Legolas took his bow out of his desk drawer. "Fo shizzle! What you doin with that in yo desk? You coulda shot someone in the not on purpose way, ma brotha!"

"You mean on accident?" Legolas suggested.

"Damn straight, nizzle."

Legolas coughed. "So, where were we? Oh yes..." He aimed his bow at Gollum.

Gollum screamed, his schizo side finally taking over his ghetto side. "Don't hurts us, don't hurts us! We swears to be good!"

"Bwahaha!" Legolas laughed mirthlessly.

Suddenly the door burst open and Elrond strode into the office. "What the frosted flake is going on here?"

Legolas quickly lowered his bow and tried to hide it behind a decorative potted shrub. "Oh uh, nothing, boss. We were just, uh-"

"We challenged him to a duel, yes we did precious," Gollum said, clinging to Elrond's shoe.

Elrond looked down at the gangly creature. "Where did this come from?"

"I really have no idea, sir," Legolas said truthfully.

"Well, can you please get rid of it?" Elrond ordered. "It's starting to majorly freak me out."

"Me too, sir." Legolas said. Gollum's extra large pants were slipping off his extra small body and he was attempting to pull them up. Out of pity, one of the office secretaries gave him a piece of string to tie them up with.

Legolas took out some elvish rope from his desk, attached it to Gollum's chain wallet and led him out of his office. "This won't happen again, sir..." He stepped onto the elevator and the door dinged shut.

Gollum sat quietly on the floor.

"You idiot! You could have gotten me fired!" Legolas exclaimed.

"My bad, nizzle."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Well I'm wit ya, homie."

Legolas started to wish that he hadn't left his bow upstairs. Finally, they reached ground floor. Legolas untied the rope attached to Gollum and he scampered off, yelling words Legolas didn't understand, most of them ending in "izzle".

Looking at his watch, he noticed that it was 3:30 and decided to go home early for the day. It had indeed been a strange day.

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"Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

"What?" Legolas sat up. He had fallen asleep on the couch, thinking about his encounter with Gollum.

"Leggy, it's 5:30-"

"We're hungry!"

Legolas rolled his eyes at the starving Merry and Pippin. "Fine, what do you want for dinner?"

"Jamba Juice!"

"Starbucks!"

Legolas rolled his eyes yet again. Nice dinner, he thought, coffee and smoothies. Hmm, I could go for a latte right about now...

He walked into his room where Sam was almost done cleaning his bedspread. Legolas felt just a little bit sorry for him.

"Sam we're going to get smoothies and coffee, want anything?"

"No thanks, Mr. Legolas," Sam said rather stiffly.

Legolas was in no mood to argue with him, so he took the hint and left to find Frodo, who was taking a bath. "Frodo, d'you want a coffee or smoothies?"

"No thanks!" Frodo called through the door. He was very stuffed with chocolate at the moment.

"Ok." Next, he opened the door to the hobbit's room where he knew Aragorn was playing Barbies. "Aragorn, do you want anything from Starbucks or Jamba Juice?"

"Yeah. I want one of those really hot brown drinks that have that stuff that make you really wired so you can't sleep at night."

"...you mean coffee?"

"Yes! That!"

"Ok."

"And I want a smoothie. With strawberry and cherry and pineapple and banana and orange and lime and grape and peach and-"

"Why don't you just come with us?" Legolas suggested.

"Ok," Aragorn threw down his Barbies, "Let's go!"

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Merry, Pippin, Aragorn and Legolas walked down Michigan Avenue looking for a Starbucks. It wasn't very hard, Chicago has a Starbucks on practically every block.

When the two hobbits walked up to the register, they each ordered an extra large brownie, a blueberry muffin, and a Pepsi.

So much for coffee... Legolas thought. "Are you getting anything, Aragorn?"

"Yeah, I want one of those brown drinks that are really hot and-"

"One coffee," Legolas told the cashier.

"Yes that! Coffee!"

Legolas ordered a low fat latte for himself and they all left the store sipping their drinks.

"Do you still want smoothies?" Legolas asked Merry and Aragorn. Merry shook his head put Aragorn, now completely wired jumped up and down.

"I do, I do!" He had already drained his coffee and threw it into a garbage can. (a/n Chicago's inner city is very clean. There are garbage cans everywhere.)

"Ok, ok." They headed for Jamba Juice. Aragorn was muttering under his breath about what kind of smoothie he wanted. Merry, Pip, and Legolas ignored him. If there was one thing they were proud to have learned from the fellowship it was how to tune Aragorn out.

"Come on, I know a short cut!" Aragorn grabbed Pippin's arm and started steering them all down a different street.

"Bad idea." Said Legolas's elven senses. He knew for a fact that Starbucks and Jamba Juice were on the same street. But he followed Aragorn anyway.

Aragorn turned sharply and started leading them down an alley. They were almost out when three figures jumped in front of them.

"Oh no, not the Mafia," Merry groaned.

"Chicago East Side," One of them said, "...Baggins!"

"Nope, I don't know anyone with that name, sorry," Pippin said.

"Oh," One of the Mafia men looked disappointed. "Well carry on then," he said, stepping aside. One of the other guys stopped him.

"He's lying, you fool!"

"Oh."

"Chicago East Side...Baggins...but, that would lead you here!" Merry gasped.

"No kidding," One of the Mafia men rolled his eyes.

"But, but how did you find out that information?" Legolas asked.

The Mafia pointed to a small creature lurking in a corner. "It wasn't us!! They tortured the nizzles out of us, homies!"

Legolas growled and shook his fist at Gollum. "Huddle!" He yelled and the four of them huddled in a circle. "What are we going to do?" He exclaimed frantically.

Merry started to think and miraculously, an idea came to him! "The Michigan Avenue Bridge! Follow me!"

He sprinted out of the other end of the alley, the others following close behind him.

"No! They're getting away! After them!" The Mafia yelled and started to chase them down.

"Oh no!" Pippin pointed.

A tall sail boat was on the other side of the bridge. The bridge was going to open to let the boat sail to the other side!

"Run!" Merry yelled. They sprinted even faster and jumped to the other side of the bridge just as it started to open.

"Yay!" They all exclaimed and immediately sat down to catch their breath.

"Woohoo! We win!" Aragorn shouted.

Merry shook his head. He could see over the other side of the bridge where the Mafia was sulking and trying to formulate another plan. "Behind the bridge, out enemy is regrouping!"

"We better get going," Legolas said and they started for home.

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They had just reached their floor of their building when they looked out the window and saw the Mafia outside. They quickly ran into their room and quadruple locked the door.

"What's going on?" Frodo entered the room in his bathrobe with a towel around his head.

"Frodo!" Legolas gasped, "They're coming."

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Wow! Was that a long chapter or what!? Five pages, I am so proud. And seeee! I can do cliffies. Maybe it will motivate Chili to write a new chapter soon.

About the bridge thing, it's over a river so when really tall boats can't fit under it, it sort of... Splits in half and opens up... You know what I mean, right?

So did you like this chapter? Click the little purple button..... Review Review!!!!!