Alles an dir :: Everything about you, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

AN: Hi ya! This is going to be a fluffy little one-shot. At least it's supposed to be one. The song is by Laith al-Deen, a german singer with a fantastic voice and really romantic texts. I translated it so you can understand just WHY I thought of K & K constantly while listening to it.

WARNING: I never did a story before! Well… I tried several times but ended unfinished because of various reasons… lack of ideas or motivation for example… Or laziness, if you have to give it a name… /grin/

This is written in Kenshin's POV. Another new one for me…

Soooo… Please bear with me! I'm trying (I think) and in English too! As I'm not a native speaker it's quite a challenge for me… hehe I like that thought, though! I just HAD to do it - for the fun of it! (hehe...)

ANYWAY! Stop the babbling! On with my little ficcie!

Disclaimer: Me no ownie, so you no suey, ne?

:--:-- Alles an dir --:--:
Laith al-Deen

:--:-- insert that cute sappy music of Laith-chan here --:--:

I stand lonely on a small hill, a tree next to me, and watch the sun go down… I can't even remember how I got there, but I stood there for quite a while and thought… Thought of a lot of things. It had been a year, a whole year since I first got to this place. A whole year with this new family… The streetfighter Sanosuke who came to become my best – and first real – friend ever… The Doctor-Lady Megumi... The boy Yahiko… so young but so determined in becoming stronger.

It's strange, you can tell. I met them in the most weird situations. Sanosuke was once out to kill me, but instead became a friend of mine. Yahiko stole my pocket and I saved his life a short time after. Since then he always adored me as an idol and wanted to one day be able to best me. And Megumi-dono made the opium that killed one of Sano's friends. I met all these people… they all were alone, trying to make a life, or just to survive, and despite the circumstances, we made it, got to know each other and what drove them onwards… and came to need each other… we became a family.

And it was her.

Because of her we got to know each other. If it hadn't been for her we'd all still be living a miserable life, or had gotten killed… She gave us a place to come to… she gave us a home.

It's been a whole year since I first met her, and had been asked to stay… Even though she knew my past.

"Kenshin!", she calls out to me.

Ich dreh mich nicht um,
(I don't turn around)
weiss wie es ist
(just know how it is)

I could sense her Ki coming closer to me. It's always been like that: She is always worried about me, about all of us. But she worries the most about me.

Ich schliesse die Augen
(I close my eyes)
und weiss wo du bist
(and know where you are)

I close my eyes and sigh deeply. How could I ever repay what she gave to me?

Ich muss nichts beweisen
(I don't have to prove anything)
muss nichts gestehn
(don't have to confess)

She accepted me just the way I am. My past, my sins – crimes I committed as Hitokiri back then, but wich were never forgotten.

She knew them.

But accepted me nonetheless…

"Kenshin…", she called once again. She was coming up the hill now. I open my eyes again, waiting for her. Soon she stands at my side.

Ich kann es fühlen
(I can feel it)
muss es nicht sehn
(no need to see)

"Where have you been? I looked for you for nearly an hour by now!"

"Gomen nasai, Kaoru-dono", I said, "I made you worry again." I turned to look at her and smiled softly. "I was just thinking and kinda forgot time, that I did."

She frowns. I'm sure she wanted to ask me what I was thinking about, but decided against it. There she was, my Kaoru-dono, always concerned about others but not wanting to disturb them, keeping quiet.

Ich will es nur sein
(I just wanna be)
will's nicht erklären
(don't want to explain)
und halt es unversehrt
(and stay like that - unharmed)
es fällt nicht schwer
(it's just so easy)

Now Kaoru-dono is looking at the sunset. I am still looking at her, but she doesn't seem to realize.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?", she says, admiring the colourful sunset. She almost caught me off guard – I'm too lost in her beauty…

"Yes, it is", I murmur, still intent on watching her face. The fading light seems to make her face shine. It makes her look even more beautiful to me…

I don't know for how long, but I am in love with her for a long time by now. First I only admired her trust in complete strangers, her fierce determination, her being a swordswoman. I admired how she made a living all on her own, having her mother died while she was still young and her father died in the wars only a short while ago. Yet she always seemed to be so happy, so cheerful. And she smiled…

I just love that smile… I love her smile and laugh. It sets my heart at ease…

Sometimes I wonder if she knows what she's been doing to me for so long…

Denn alles an dir
('Cause everything about you)
macht mich so leicht
(makes me feel so light)
weil du mich überall erreichst
('cause you can reach me from everywhere)
weil du mich siehst und mir vergibst
('cause you see me and forgive me)
und du unbeschreiblich liebst
(and you love me in an undescibable way)
Alles an dir macht mich so leicht
(Everything about you makes me feel so light)

Warm light surrounds us, now slowly fading to soft darkness. Fireflies start coming out and fly all about.

I love her.

Propably I'll never tell her, but I love her nonetheless. I don't know if I could survive losing her – the incident with Enishi showed that clearly to me. I lost a loved one before, and it nearly destroyed me… Kaoru-dono knows that as well. I'm scared of telling her about my love. She knows about my past… sure, she accepted it and let me live in her house, but that doesn't mean she will be able to love me back.

At this point my mind comes up with all the excuses I made up for myself for not telling her: I'm not worth anybodys love. And surely not hers. For example, she believes in a sword that doesn't kill but protects people. And I… I remember the countless nights in wich I frantically tried to get the blood off my hands… how could she ever love someone like me…?

So I stay like this… again. Scolding myself for being so stupid as to hope that – maybe – Kaoru-dono would one day love me back. Surely I do hope this. I'm in love, alright? To love means to hope…

But it's no hope in getting Kaoru-dono… The only thing left for me to do is stay with her and keep her safe… but…

Ich werd' nichts versäumen
(I won't miss a thing)
lauf nichts hinterher
(don't chase after it)
hab alles gefunden
(have found everything)
suche nicht mehr
(don't search anymore)

The way she's looking at me sometimes… That longing look that directly searches for my face, my eyes… as if she is searching for me… That look is piercing my heart and makes me yearn even more for her… That look makes me hope, despite the things I tell myself.

But she never said a thing.

Ich lasse mich fallen
(I let myself fall)
berühre den Grund
(touch the ground)
Du legst deinen Atem
(You lay your breath)
in meinen Mund
(into my mouth)

So I stand here, discussing in the back of my mind, forgetting everything that goes on around me...

Suddenly I see Kaoru-dono move her head. A firefly flew in front of her face and now moved on. It flies through the gap between me and Kaoru-dono, and she follows it with her gaze.

Too late I realize my staring to her.

Ich denke nicht nach
(I don't think)
und lass dich gewähren
(and let you have your way)
Ich bleibe unversehrt
(I stay unharmed)
vermiss nichts mehr
(don't miss anything anymore)

"Kenshin…?", she asks hesitantly. I blush a little and murmur an apology. But then, again, I lift my eyes to look at her face.

She is still looking back at me, a surprised look on her face.

She looks at me, surprised. A delicate flush across her cheeks. Her eyes glittering with an emotion I can't read. She opens her mouth to say something, but I just lay a finger on her lips. She stops.

Denn alles an dir
('Cause everything about you)
macht mich so leicht
(makes me feel so light)
weil du mich jeden Tag befreist
('cause you free me every day)
weil du gewacht während ich schlief
('cause you were on watch while I slept)
und du unbeschreiblich bist
(and you are undescribable)
Alles an dir macht mich so leicht
(Everything about you makes me feel so light)

How? How could I possibly ever tell her? I love her way too much to want to lose her because of telling her.

Again, the thoughts ramble through my head…

I can feel her soft lips against my fingers. Can feel her breath on my skin. I see the shocked look on her face, but at the moment I don't care. 'I want to feel more…', a part of my mind keeps screaming, 'I'm so sick of hiding from her…!'

I move my hand oh-so-little to rest it on her cheek, caressing her lips with my thumb…

Mich so leicht
(Feel so light)
So leicht
(So light)
Weil du mich überall erreichst
('Cause you can reach me from everywhere)
und du mich jeden Tag befreist
(and you free me every day)

I... I really... want her to know… that I love her… but… I just… can't tell… her…

But then, I could… maybe… show her… instead? But…

:--:-- music changes to a single piano playing --:--:

I've been this close to her only once before, and that was a very sad memory, indeed… I left her… And she cried for me, then…

Right now she does look as if she will cry at any moment… and I realize: She thinks that I will leave again. Even though I've returned, I never really told her that I will stay. And that made me realize another thing.

She's scared by the thought of being left by me.

But I won't!

Denn alles an dir
('Cause everything about you)

"Sshh…", I wisper. She looks into my eyes.

macht mich so leicht
(makes me feel so light)

"I promise, I won't" The words suddenly just flow out of my mouth… I feel like I am in some sort of trance…

weil du mich überall erreichst
('cause you can reach me from everywhere)

"Won't what?", she wispers back. Her body trembling slightly. I move closer to her, our faces close now, so close… I can feel her breath on my lips…

weil du mich siehst und mir vergibst
('cause you see me and forgive me)

I look directly into her eyes, and she looks back, unflinching. "I promise you I won't… I will… never ever… leave you… I promise…"

And she smiles at me.

und du unbeschreiblich liebst
(and you love me in an undescribable way)

And I… I… kiss her…

My heart stops beating for a moment, and everything fades out… it is just me and Kaoru… Our hearts beating wildly, hands caressing, minds forgetting everything…

When I am finally being able to let go for a second because of the need of air, I'm laughing. Kaoru laughs with me, tears now streaming down her face. But for once I know they are no tears of sorrow. She is happy. And I just love it.

"I love you, Kaoru, that I really do…", I finally bring out, "So much…"

Our laughter slowly fades, leaving a feeling of ease. Kaoru smiles at me, softly caressing my cheek. I smile, too. Then I softly pull her close again, embrace her and kiss her.

Again and again…

Denn alles an dir
('Cause everthing about you)
macht mich so leicht
(makes me feel so light)
weil du mich jeden Tag befreist
('cause you free me every day)
weil du gewacht während ich schlief
('cause you were on watch while I slept)
und du unbeschreiblich bist
(and you are undescribable)
Alles an dir macht mich so leicht
(Everything about you makes me feel so light)

Later on we are walking home, hand in hand.

I feel so much better now! Kaoru is so happy, she's nearly bouncing her way…! It reminds me a little of Misao-dono… not that it disturbs me or anything. I feel a little flippy myself…

Suddenly Kaoru stops in mid-step and claps a hand to her mouth.

"Oh no!", she gasps.

"Oro?", I say, surprised, "What is the matter, Kaoru?"

"I totally forgot to tell you something very important…!"

"Oro?"

She smiles genuinely, throws her arms around my neck, kisses me on the lips and then wispers something into my ear.

At first I'm a little surprised by her words, but when I think the last hour or so over I find that she's right. She actually forgot to tell me!

But, anyways!

I'm happy! And together we make our way back home. And her words ring in my ears the whole time…

"I love you, too, Kenshin!"

:--:-- Owari --:--:

AN2: So! There you are! I'm writing this second AN a day later… and… I have to say… 'Woah! Not bad for my first try…!' (I mean like, this are seven pages on Word!) Yare, yare… maybe a little too self-confident but… I don't care./grin/ Hey! I told you to bear with me, right…?/dogdes tomatoes/And again I'm babbling my way through an Author's Note… Just feel free to ignore it!

So! There you are! I'm writing this second AN a day later… and… I have to say… 'Woah! Not bad for my first try…!' (I mean like, this are seven pages on Word!) Yare, yare… maybe a little too self-confident but… I don't care. Hey! I told you to bear with me, right…?And again I'm babbling my way through an Author's Note… Just feel free to ignore it!

And you are – of course – free to review me and to give me constructive or other criticism! And - if you get the chance - listen to that song! It's soooo cute!

Thanks for reading!

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