A/N I just want to say thanks everyone that reviewed. I'll make a list of
you in the end of this chapter where I'm going to answer any questions you
might have had. If you're not interested in reading it, don't bother. It's
nothing important anyway, just my usual rambling.
It feels really good to actually get reviews, that someone actually read my story! Oh, and I hope I wasn't too unclear on what pairing the last chapter was... It was all Seto/Joey, just thought I should tell you.
By the way, I wanna say a special thanks to freewater who told me that Joey's eye color was brown, and that no one shot me for my mistake... (This chapter has been edited, so if I make no sense at all... I didn't know what eye color Joey had so I made 'em blue... Freewater was kind enough to tell me that they where brown. Thankies!)
Anyway, on with the fic!
Warnings; maleXmale relationship, a.k.a. Yaoi - two guys that is doing /wants to do naughty things to each other! You have been warned. I'm not including any lemons for a while, I want to get the characters suitable angsty first... *smirking evilly* Some Anzu/Téa bashing.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own it, ok? Did you really have to rub it in my face? That's not nice!
Never letting go – chapter two Haunting dreams
Why did these dreams continue to haunt him?
What had he done to deserve such torture?
Wasn't it enough to see him every day?
The one he desired.
The one he loved with all of his heart and with all of his being.
To know that his feelings never would be returned.
Joey woke up to hear the last remainings of his screams fade away.
He reached up a hand to run it trough his hair.
It was wet. He was bathing in sweat.
He threw the covers aside and walked over to the bathroom connected to his own room.
When he closed the door he leaned towards it, trembling slightly.
He stripped down, letting his used garments fall to the floor, not bothering to put them away. He turned the taps on and sat down in the bathtub, telling the hot, almost burning water soak his shivering limbs.
The dreams seemed so real. Every morning he woke up just to find that he was drenched in sweat with tears trickling down his face.
He started to cry.
He always cried, but only because he felt so lonely. No matter how many friends he had, he always felt like he was alone. No matter how much his friends make him smile, he always felt like crying. It was that as if no one could make him feel happy. No one could touch his soul.
Joey hadn't realized it at first, when his feelings towards Seto Kaiba had changed, deepened.
All he knew was that he loved him.
Joey shook his head, making his once golden locks dance around his face, tickling him slightly.
'Every night the same thing. I fall asleep and I dream that Seto is making love to me. Each time I confess my love towards him, he mocks me. He looks at me with disgust in his eyes before he decides to rape me, testing my feelings for him. I lose consciousness and he leaves. Only to come back and do it all over the next night!' Joey closed the taps with his left foot before taking a deep breath and diving under the surface, splashing water onto the floor.
'I can end all this. If I just stay like this, my air 'll eventually run out. The pain will stop. All I have to do is to...' his line of thoughts was interrupted by the sound of breaking glass.
Joey jerked his head up, splashing even more water onto the floor. "Shit!" he panted slightly from being under the water so ling. "He's awake." He quickly washed himself before pulling the plug.
He planted an unsteady foot on a cracked tile, slowly getting out of the tub. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist before looking into the mirror above the sink
A few months back, his father had pushed Joey's head into the mirror, making the mirror break in four pieces. Joey could still see remainings of dried up blood on the mirror where he had cut himself at the impact with the broken glass. Half of his face had been sliced up. One piece of glass had cut trough his chin, leaving a gaping hole, bleeding abundantly. He had had to go to the hospital to get it stitched. When the doctor asked him what had happened he just said 'A fight,'. The only visible scar was a small whitening line on his left cheek. His psychological wounds where not as shallow.
As he looked at himself in the mirror he did not fully recognize the person that looked back at him. His once sparkling, golden brown eyes where now dull and almost lifeless. His usually unruly, shining golden locks had now lost its shine and glister.
Joey looked away from the mirror, not willing to face the truth, to see what had become of him. As he stood there, hands holding onto the sink, something touched his foot. He looked down and saw a cockroach make its way over his foot. He quickly jerked it off, hurrying back into his own room.
He started to get dressed. When he was done his clothes seemed too big, hanging from his thin, emaciated body. Soon after he realized that he loved Seto and the nightmares had begun, he had lost his usual appetite. Every time he ate, the food grew in his mouth, making him choke on it. It all seemed so pointless, why should he eat? It tasted like sawdust anyway. He had become really thin in just a month. His ribs and shoulder blades stuck out, and he always had to skip PE, not to show the others his haggard state.
Now when the sun had rose from behind the horizon he could se his room clearly. He sighed at the sight at how run-down it looked. In one corner of the room his bed was standing. It was an old, scruffy-looking bed, ready to collapse. One of the legs had broke so it slanted slightly, making it cringe every time Joey moved in the bed. He walked over to his cluttered desk and looked at the books lying there.
"This should fit," Joey said, taking up a thick chemistry book. He walked over to his bed and slid it under the broken leg. "Finally this stuff's coming to use." He sat down in an old armchair by the window, looking at his room once more. He didn't have much furniture, only his bed, the desk, his armchair, a swivel chair and a dresser.
He rose from the chair and started to pick up various pieces of clothing and putting them in a heap by the bathroom door. The walls where bare with no pictures, with the exception of a monster card poster Yugi had given him on his birthday last year. The wallpaper where hanging down at some places, almost touching the floor.
When he turned to walk out of his room a piece of the sealing landed only a few inches away from him with a muffled 'thud'.
Joey jumped and stared at the place he had been standing on just seconds earlier, now full of small pieces of the roof. "God, I can't stay here anymore! I got to get out of here!"
He hurried to the door and opened it as silent as he could, not to disturb his father. As he walked out of his room he heard snoring from the other room, he sighed as he made his way to the front door, hurrying down the stairs and out onto the crowded street.
'I'll go to Yugi's place. Or I can just go and jump off the nearest bridge.' He sighed inwardly before walking towards the "Kame gameshop".
~ ~ ~ * * * ~ ~ ~
"Yami, what are you doing?" Yugi yawned as he entered the kitchen, seeing Yami hit the toaster.
Yami looked up, grinning at his hikari before continuing his assault on the defenseless toaster.
The defenseless toaster that started to send out a pillar of black smoke.
"It won't return my bread!" Yami whined.
Yugi sighed and walked over to the cupboards, taking out a plate and a mug.
"Should it do that?" Yami questioned, looking worriedly at Yugi.
"What is supposed to do what?" Yugi asked, pouring milk into his mug.
"Smoke like that. Yami slowly walked away from the toaster, hiding behind Yugi as he glared at the toaster as if it would explode.
Suddenly Yugi was wide-awake, staring at the toaster. "No. What did you do to it?
"Nothing, I swear. I just wanted to toast a piece of bread!" Yami sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, watching Yugi approach the smoking-bread- eating-piece-of-****.
Yugi jerked the machine out of the outlet before turning the toaster up side down in an attempt to get the piece of bread out.
The doorbell rang.
"Yami, could you please get that? I'm kinda busy." Yugi asked as he took a fork and putted it down the slit in the toaster.
Yami shrugged and went to open the door.
When he did he saw a pale looking Joey smiling slightly at him.
"Hi, Yami. Is Yugi in?" Joey asked, putting his happy-mask on.
"H..." an angry voice shouting made Yami go silent.
"Yami! Did you try to toast a BAGEL?" Yugi's voice shouted. "It's two times bigger than the opening, how the heck did you think it would fit?" (A/N Yugi talking dirty! I just had to write it. ^____^) Yugi yelled.
"Oh, I guess he's home." Joey smirked and walked inside the house with a you're-in-trouble-and-I'm-not look on his face, smirking at Yami.
They both walked into the kitchen where Yugi was holding a badly burned bagel in his left hand while his right was positioned at his hip.
Yami avoided looking Yugi in the eyes while he sat down at the table.
Yugi walked up to Yami, holding the burnt bagel under Yami's nose.
"So, what where you thinking when you did this?" Yugi shook the bagel.
"He, I... um..." Yami went silent.
"I still wanna know why you did this. Grandpa has to buy a new toaster thanks to you." Yugi said.
Yami suddenly stood up, startling Yugi, making him fall sit down on the floor with a small 'ouch,'.
"I don't have to explain myself to you. I maybe just..." Yugi stopped talking when he heard a sob from his feet.
He looked down and saw Yugi with tears in his eyes. He bent down and took the smaller boy in his arms.
Yugi started to push Yami away, but Yami took a hold of his wrists with one hand. The other caressed his hikari's cheek lightly.
"I'm sorry, aibou. I didn't mean to yell at you." Yami spoke with a soft voice, trying to calm down his sobbing hikari.
"O... ok," Yugi said, looking up at Yami, blushing slightly.
Yami smiled and let go of his hikari before standing up.
After Yami had let him go he felt cold, almost hollow. Yugi stood up, facing Joey.
"Hi, Yug." He reached ouch and ruffled his friend's hair lightly. "Are you okay?"
Yugi nodded before he looked worryingly at his friend. "Joey, are you okay? You seem so pale, almost as if you where sick." Yugi grabbed Joey's arm as if he wanted to make sure the taller boy wasn't feverish.
"Yeah, don't worry, Yug. I'm way too tough to get sick!" he smirked at his little friend before looking over at Yami.
Yami was staring out the window at something, he twitched an eyebrow and growled.
"Yami, what's wrong?" Joey asked, walking over to him, looking over his shoulder.
"Kaiba's coming." Was Yami's respond.
Joey felt his heart fall down to his feet.
He...
He was coming.
He was coming here.
Joey had a hard time breathing and his face went white as a sheet.
He unsteadily walked over to the table making Yugi hurry to his side.
He didn't hear his worried friend's question as he grasped after the table edge.
He missed it and he fell.
He felt a sharp pain in his head before everything went black.
~ ~ ~ * * * ~ ~ ~
Firs of all I apologize due to the shortness in my chapters. I just don't have all that time to write long stories and I kinda wanted to make some sort of cliffie...
I'll try to make these chapters longer in the future, just bare with me.
These are the people who reviewed. A special thanks to all of you. You make me feel spee~cial. Continue reviewing, please!
Macduffs'Mistress: Yeah, kinda sad, isn't it? I wrote more, enjoy! ^___^
magic-reenie: Thank you. Yeah, I liked the twist at the end. I wanted people to guess who they where and to be surprised when they saw who it really was. -__-;;
Freewater: I feel honored to be on your author alert list! And what can I say? Ah, um, guess what? I updated! 0__~
Sansi: Me to. Anzu is really... annoying sometimes. And don't worry, I'll continue this... at least until it's finished anyway.
Anime Crew (Dark Witch): I updated, I hope you liked this chapter as much, or more, than the first! n____n
That was all for this time. I'll try to update at the end of this week. But until then I bid thee farewell! Buh-bye! //Tadashi Shimisaki
It feels really good to actually get reviews, that someone actually read my story! Oh, and I hope I wasn't too unclear on what pairing the last chapter was... It was all Seto/Joey, just thought I should tell you.
By the way, I wanna say a special thanks to freewater who told me that Joey's eye color was brown, and that no one shot me for my mistake... (This chapter has been edited, so if I make no sense at all... I didn't know what eye color Joey had so I made 'em blue... Freewater was kind enough to tell me that they where brown. Thankies!)
Anyway, on with the fic!
Warnings; maleXmale relationship, a.k.a. Yaoi - two guys that is doing /wants to do naughty things to each other! You have been warned. I'm not including any lemons for a while, I want to get the characters suitable angsty first... *smirking evilly* Some Anzu/Téa bashing.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own it, ok? Did you really have to rub it in my face? That's not nice!
Never letting go – chapter two Haunting dreams
Why did these dreams continue to haunt him?
What had he done to deserve such torture?
Wasn't it enough to see him every day?
The one he desired.
The one he loved with all of his heart and with all of his being.
To know that his feelings never would be returned.
Joey woke up to hear the last remainings of his screams fade away.
He reached up a hand to run it trough his hair.
It was wet. He was bathing in sweat.
He threw the covers aside and walked over to the bathroom connected to his own room.
When he closed the door he leaned towards it, trembling slightly.
He stripped down, letting his used garments fall to the floor, not bothering to put them away. He turned the taps on and sat down in the bathtub, telling the hot, almost burning water soak his shivering limbs.
The dreams seemed so real. Every morning he woke up just to find that he was drenched in sweat with tears trickling down his face.
He started to cry.
He always cried, but only because he felt so lonely. No matter how many friends he had, he always felt like he was alone. No matter how much his friends make him smile, he always felt like crying. It was that as if no one could make him feel happy. No one could touch his soul.
Joey hadn't realized it at first, when his feelings towards Seto Kaiba had changed, deepened.
All he knew was that he loved him.
Joey shook his head, making his once golden locks dance around his face, tickling him slightly.
'Every night the same thing. I fall asleep and I dream that Seto is making love to me. Each time I confess my love towards him, he mocks me. He looks at me with disgust in his eyes before he decides to rape me, testing my feelings for him. I lose consciousness and he leaves. Only to come back and do it all over the next night!' Joey closed the taps with his left foot before taking a deep breath and diving under the surface, splashing water onto the floor.
'I can end all this. If I just stay like this, my air 'll eventually run out. The pain will stop. All I have to do is to...' his line of thoughts was interrupted by the sound of breaking glass.
Joey jerked his head up, splashing even more water onto the floor. "Shit!" he panted slightly from being under the water so ling. "He's awake." He quickly washed himself before pulling the plug.
He planted an unsteady foot on a cracked tile, slowly getting out of the tub. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist before looking into the mirror above the sink
A few months back, his father had pushed Joey's head into the mirror, making the mirror break in four pieces. Joey could still see remainings of dried up blood on the mirror where he had cut himself at the impact with the broken glass. Half of his face had been sliced up. One piece of glass had cut trough his chin, leaving a gaping hole, bleeding abundantly. He had had to go to the hospital to get it stitched. When the doctor asked him what had happened he just said 'A fight,'. The only visible scar was a small whitening line on his left cheek. His psychological wounds where not as shallow.
As he looked at himself in the mirror he did not fully recognize the person that looked back at him. His once sparkling, golden brown eyes where now dull and almost lifeless. His usually unruly, shining golden locks had now lost its shine and glister.
Joey looked away from the mirror, not willing to face the truth, to see what had become of him. As he stood there, hands holding onto the sink, something touched his foot. He looked down and saw a cockroach make its way over his foot. He quickly jerked it off, hurrying back into his own room.
He started to get dressed. When he was done his clothes seemed too big, hanging from his thin, emaciated body. Soon after he realized that he loved Seto and the nightmares had begun, he had lost his usual appetite. Every time he ate, the food grew in his mouth, making him choke on it. It all seemed so pointless, why should he eat? It tasted like sawdust anyway. He had become really thin in just a month. His ribs and shoulder blades stuck out, and he always had to skip PE, not to show the others his haggard state.
Now when the sun had rose from behind the horizon he could se his room clearly. He sighed at the sight at how run-down it looked. In one corner of the room his bed was standing. It was an old, scruffy-looking bed, ready to collapse. One of the legs had broke so it slanted slightly, making it cringe every time Joey moved in the bed. He walked over to his cluttered desk and looked at the books lying there.
"This should fit," Joey said, taking up a thick chemistry book. He walked over to his bed and slid it under the broken leg. "Finally this stuff's coming to use." He sat down in an old armchair by the window, looking at his room once more. He didn't have much furniture, only his bed, the desk, his armchair, a swivel chair and a dresser.
He rose from the chair and started to pick up various pieces of clothing and putting them in a heap by the bathroom door. The walls where bare with no pictures, with the exception of a monster card poster Yugi had given him on his birthday last year. The wallpaper where hanging down at some places, almost touching the floor.
When he turned to walk out of his room a piece of the sealing landed only a few inches away from him with a muffled 'thud'.
Joey jumped and stared at the place he had been standing on just seconds earlier, now full of small pieces of the roof. "God, I can't stay here anymore! I got to get out of here!"
He hurried to the door and opened it as silent as he could, not to disturb his father. As he walked out of his room he heard snoring from the other room, he sighed as he made his way to the front door, hurrying down the stairs and out onto the crowded street.
'I'll go to Yugi's place. Or I can just go and jump off the nearest bridge.' He sighed inwardly before walking towards the "Kame gameshop".
~ ~ ~ * * * ~ ~ ~
"Yami, what are you doing?" Yugi yawned as he entered the kitchen, seeing Yami hit the toaster.
Yami looked up, grinning at his hikari before continuing his assault on the defenseless toaster.
The defenseless toaster that started to send out a pillar of black smoke.
"It won't return my bread!" Yami whined.
Yugi sighed and walked over to the cupboards, taking out a plate and a mug.
"Should it do that?" Yami questioned, looking worriedly at Yugi.
"What is supposed to do what?" Yugi asked, pouring milk into his mug.
"Smoke like that. Yami slowly walked away from the toaster, hiding behind Yugi as he glared at the toaster as if it would explode.
Suddenly Yugi was wide-awake, staring at the toaster. "No. What did you do to it?
"Nothing, I swear. I just wanted to toast a piece of bread!" Yami sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, watching Yugi approach the smoking-bread- eating-piece-of-****.
Yugi jerked the machine out of the outlet before turning the toaster up side down in an attempt to get the piece of bread out.
The doorbell rang.
"Yami, could you please get that? I'm kinda busy." Yugi asked as he took a fork and putted it down the slit in the toaster.
Yami shrugged and went to open the door.
When he did he saw a pale looking Joey smiling slightly at him.
"Hi, Yami. Is Yugi in?" Joey asked, putting his happy-mask on.
"H..." an angry voice shouting made Yami go silent.
"Yami! Did you try to toast a BAGEL?" Yugi's voice shouted. "It's two times bigger than the opening, how the heck did you think it would fit?" (A/N Yugi talking dirty! I just had to write it. ^____^) Yugi yelled.
"Oh, I guess he's home." Joey smirked and walked inside the house with a you're-in-trouble-and-I'm-not look on his face, smirking at Yami.
They both walked into the kitchen where Yugi was holding a badly burned bagel in his left hand while his right was positioned at his hip.
Yami avoided looking Yugi in the eyes while he sat down at the table.
Yugi walked up to Yami, holding the burnt bagel under Yami's nose.
"So, what where you thinking when you did this?" Yugi shook the bagel.
"He, I... um..." Yami went silent.
"I still wanna know why you did this. Grandpa has to buy a new toaster thanks to you." Yugi said.
Yami suddenly stood up, startling Yugi, making him fall sit down on the floor with a small 'ouch,'.
"I don't have to explain myself to you. I maybe just..." Yugi stopped talking when he heard a sob from his feet.
He looked down and saw Yugi with tears in his eyes. He bent down and took the smaller boy in his arms.
Yugi started to push Yami away, but Yami took a hold of his wrists with one hand. The other caressed his hikari's cheek lightly.
"I'm sorry, aibou. I didn't mean to yell at you." Yami spoke with a soft voice, trying to calm down his sobbing hikari.
"O... ok," Yugi said, looking up at Yami, blushing slightly.
Yami smiled and let go of his hikari before standing up.
After Yami had let him go he felt cold, almost hollow. Yugi stood up, facing Joey.
"Hi, Yug." He reached ouch and ruffled his friend's hair lightly. "Are you okay?"
Yugi nodded before he looked worryingly at his friend. "Joey, are you okay? You seem so pale, almost as if you where sick." Yugi grabbed Joey's arm as if he wanted to make sure the taller boy wasn't feverish.
"Yeah, don't worry, Yug. I'm way too tough to get sick!" he smirked at his little friend before looking over at Yami.
Yami was staring out the window at something, he twitched an eyebrow and growled.
"Yami, what's wrong?" Joey asked, walking over to him, looking over his shoulder.
"Kaiba's coming." Was Yami's respond.
Joey felt his heart fall down to his feet.
He...
He was coming.
He was coming here.
Joey had a hard time breathing and his face went white as a sheet.
He unsteadily walked over to the table making Yugi hurry to his side.
He didn't hear his worried friend's question as he grasped after the table edge.
He missed it and he fell.
He felt a sharp pain in his head before everything went black.
~ ~ ~ * * * ~ ~ ~
Firs of all I apologize due to the shortness in my chapters. I just don't have all that time to write long stories and I kinda wanted to make some sort of cliffie...
I'll try to make these chapters longer in the future, just bare with me.
These are the people who reviewed. A special thanks to all of you. You make me feel spee~cial. Continue reviewing, please!
Macduffs'Mistress: Yeah, kinda sad, isn't it? I wrote more, enjoy! ^___^
magic-reenie: Thank you. Yeah, I liked the twist at the end. I wanted people to guess who they where and to be surprised when they saw who it really was. -__-;;
Freewater: I feel honored to be on your author alert list! And what can I say? Ah, um, guess what? I updated! 0__~
Sansi: Me to. Anzu is really... annoying sometimes. And don't worry, I'll continue this... at least until it's finished anyway.
Anime Crew (Dark Witch): I updated, I hope you liked this chapter as much, or more, than the first! n____n
That was all for this time. I'll try to update at the end of this week. But until then I bid thee farewell! Buh-bye! //Tadashi Shimisaki