Pulling Away
Chapter 2
Author's Note: Please review. I get really sad when people don't review and it stunts the creative juices that flow. Please, just so I know that people are reading, thanks.
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights whatsoever associated with 24. Wish I did, but I don't. You know the drill don't own characters, plots, beautiful actors, etc etc.
Michelle was cleaning up after dinner the same night. They ordered Chinese food, one of their favorites, but Tony only picked at it. After an almost silent meal, he retreated back to him spot on the couch, with his sixth beer in hand. Michelle was terrified, she had never seen him drink this much in a 3 hour period. This was very out of character for her husband. She tried to talk to him at dinner, but he barely said five words. He responded to all her questions with a yeah, no, or he'd just shrug. He didn't look at her either. Not once did they make eye contact. This isn't right, Michelle thought. He should be scooping me up in his arms and we should be making love. But sadly, her thoughts were not read by the man she loved sitting on the couch, numb to everything surrounding him. Michelle shrugged at her own thoughts. Maybe once he gets used to being here again, he'll go back to normal. Yes, that's it, just give him time. She walked upstairs into the bedroom, and started changing the sheets. Tony was still sitting on the couch.
He looked very dazed. His face looked like he was feeling sorry for himself. He took another swig of his Budweiser. He turned to look and see where Michelle went, and he didn't see her anywhere. Looking around the room more closely, he noticed that she was nowhere in sight. He got up from the couch, and went into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator, even though he wasn't hungry. Bored with it's contents, he started looking through the cupboards, just because. He opened up the cabinet doors that had the mugs in it, and began to shut it again, but Tony saw something that made him open it back up. He reached up and pulled his Chicago Cubs mug off the shelf and just stared at it.
Memories came flooding back to him. This was HIS mug, no one elses. Aside from his wife, it was the thing he held dear to him. He continued staring at it, and began to well up with tears, why he didn't know, but they soon flooded his cheeks like a tsunami. After several minutes of nostalgia, he put the cup back into the cabinet, and dried his cheeks. His wife was still nowhere to be found, so he ventured into their bedroom for the first time in 2 years. When he walked in, Michelle was making the bed, and putting pillow cases onto their pillows. When he walked into the room, she smiled, hoping this would be their moment.
"Sweetheart." Michelle started. "Want to come to bed?" She asked motioning to the bed. Tony looked at the bed, then back to her. He examined her with his eyes, looked her up and down, from head to toe. He remembered how much he loved this woman standing in front of him, be he had forgotten how to show it.
"Yeah." He replied after few moments of silence. Michelle's face lit up. That was the most positive thing that had happened all day, aside from him wearing his wedding ring. Michelle began undressing herself, and when she was in her bra, Tony interjected.
"I think I want to shower first." He said. Michelle took this as a very nice opportunity to become close and one with her husband again.
"Want some company?" She asked sensually. She had a smirk on her face, and it was clear what she was implying.
"Actually, no." Tony replied. The smirk quickly disappeared from her face, and a sad expression came over her. She looked down with disappointment, but knew not to push it. But she had been longing for his touch and his love ever since he was sentenced.
"Yeah." Michelle said in a whisper. Tony slipped his shirt off his back, the same way he used to. Michelle, witnessing what he was doing, longed for him even more. The way he took off his shirt reminded her of the first time they had made love. It was perfect, and she desperately wanted that moment back. Tony walked out of the room, and into the bathroom attached to their bedroom. He started the water, made sure it was the right temperature and eased in. His first thought as the water drenched his body was that he wanted Michelle in there with him, but he wouldn't know how to act, what to do. It had been such a long time since he had been close to her, let alone a woman in general. Prison had robbed him of his ability to show his love. It made him close up, and not trust people. Over time, he knew those things would come back to him, but he didn't know how much time she would wait.
Michelle, sitting on the edge of the bed weeping wondered where her husband was. He had left her. It was so clear, he was devoid of the man he used to be, the man she fell in love with. He was shutting her out, and pulling away from her, and she didn't know anything she could do to stop it. She lay on the bed and buried her face into a pillow a cried out in pain. She began blaming herself for him being this way. Why did I have to go into that hotel, why, you stupid woman. I should have just died in there, she told her self crying harder than before. She heard the water stop running in the shower, but she couldn't control her sobs. They just kept coming out faster and harder.
Tony emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He saw his wife on the bed, and he could hear her sobs. He walked over to the bed, and knelt down beside her and stroked her hair. She saw this and it made her cry harder because it reminded her of when he proposed to her.
"Michelle, what's wrong?" He asked. She glared at him, that was the most thoughtful thing he's said all day. She wiped her eyes, and sniffled a few times.
"You, Tony, you. What happened to you. You're acting like you hate me." She said tears still falling from her lids. Tony was silent for a minute, gathering his thoughts.
"Michelle, I could never hate you, I love you. Just, things have changed me. I'm sorry." He said leaning over to her and giving her a peck on the lips. Michelle's eyes grew wider. She paused for a moment, and looked down at his lips. Then she enveloped him in passionate kiss. She had waited so long for this, but just as she was staring to feel whole again, Tony pulled away.
"What, what is it?" She asked, once again hurt.
"I just can't Michelle. It's too soon. Don't you think that I want nothing more than to just take you in my arms and be with you again." Tony said.
"Then why don't you Tony, I'm right here." Michelle said starting to cry again. Tony stood up, and started pacing around the room.
"Because I -" he cut himself off.
"Because why?" She said.
"Because I'm scared to love you Michelle. OK, is that what you wanted to hear. You don't know what's happened to me when I was there. You don't know alright?" Tony said his voice starting to crack.
"Then why don't you tell me." Michelle pleaded.
"Because you wouldn't understand." Tony yelled, finally exploding with anger and hurt.
"Tony, I'm your wife, you need to tell me, otherwise how can I help you?" Michelle yelled back at him while crying.
"Just leave it alone. Nothing can change what happened, so there's no point." He yelled again.
"Ok, look I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset, but this is not a marriage. If you can't talk to me, your wife who loves you more than her own life, how can you expect things to get better?" Michelle said.
"Yeah, don't talk to me about loving someone more than their own life ok, cause you're the reason I went to prison in the first place." Tony yelled. Michelle was dumbstruck. She couldn't believe that he just said that. She welled up again, and ran out of the room. Once she was out of sight Tony was immediately kicking himself for saying that. He knew she was right, but he didn't know how to fix it. He left the room, still in his towel, and found her sobbing face down on the guest room bed. He sat beside her and put his hand on her back. "Michelle, I'm sorry, I just exploded. You know I didn't mean that." He said quietly. Michelle sniffled.
"Don't you think I have told myself that everyday you were gone?" Michelle said. Tony realized that she was blaming herself for what happened.
"Don't do that, because you know it's not true. Look I am really sorry for today, and I'll try to get better." He said. Michelle sat up on the bed, and hugged him, and he hugged her back, for the first time in 2 years.