She quickly grabbed the towel and covered herself. As self-conscious as she already was about her body, she had avoided letting anyone see her naked body since the attack. She had been so careful to dress or undress when he was in another room or in the dark when he was still asleep so he wouldn't see her. Except for Madam Pomfrey, no one else had ever seen the scar she received that night in the Ministry.
"Y-Yes… it was that bad, I-I've never let anyone see it or told anyone. It makes me feel hideous. I wish you never saw it." She had turned her back to him and began to feel as if she were damaged, she wanted to be perfect for him. Dolohov's spell had seared her flesh to the bone; it had taken several weeks of various potions for her to heal on the inside, but unfortunately, the damage to her skin was not so easily or quickly healed. The scar covered an area under her left breast down her ribs along her side to her abdomen. It resembled a combination of burned and torn flesh forced to heal without enough skin to close the wound. The scar itself was only noticeable when she was unclothed, as she was now, but not from a distance. Harry was the only person to see her wound in over a year.
"It's nothing. 'Mione, you can hide yours and can hardly see it. Mine is out in the open for everyone to gape at. Come here." He pulled her to into his arms, and kissed her first on the forehead, then on her cheek. "That's just a mark on the outside. I care about you, on the inside, not just the outside. That wound was as much my fault as it was Dolohov's."
"But it's so… hideous," she whispered as she pushed herself away.
"You're still you on the inside, scared or not, you'll never be hideous to me. If you want, we could see if the muggle doctors can do anything, remember what they did for Parvarti's arm? You could hardly notice her scar." He gently put his hands around her waist. He wanted to hold her, but she resisted.
"Yeah, there might be things they could try, but it's my problem," she said as she pushed his hand from her side.
"NO, it's OUR problem. We are together. That's the way I want us to be. Hermione, you are more important to me then anyone else. Remember that." He placed his right hand on her side and his other to her chin and gently lifted it off her chest, pulling her lips to his for a loving kiss.
"I know its just vanity, but..."
"No buts, it doesn't bother me. I know no one that wants to be scared; I wish I never had mine."
"You're partly wrong, this one is very precious to me," she replied as she opened her hand. "When you're happy, it makes me feel warm inside. I never want it to vanish, but the other one reminds me what could happen." She reached to him and held him in an embrace, returning his kisses, "I'm fine now, I just didn't want you to see it, not right now. Please, go get ready," she said lovingly, before pushing him hard off the bed.
"Oy, that's not fair…" he called as he fell to the floor, barely managing to hang onto his towel.
"You'd better hurry, Jake's going to be here in twenty minutes, and I have my hair to deal with, now go." He finally obeyed her wishes and quickly showered and dressed. She thought about his reaction while she dressed, feeling relieved he didn't feel it was his fault, and more so that he didn't turn away. By the time he had finished his shower, she charmed her hair into a manageable state. He quickly finished dressing, and while she was finishing up, he stole back into the living room, where a blank notebook sat on a table. He picked it up and scribbled a couple words, Wandless Healing, and before he closed the book, two books appeared on the table, the first was Advanced Magic Without a Wand and the second An Aurors Field Manual forHealing Magical Trauma. He deposited them both in his trunk to read through later.
There was a light knock on the door to their apartment; Jake arrived exactly on schedule. They were two doors away from Eileen, and since her apartment was on the very end of the hall, there was only one possibility. The man stood in the doorway facing the same young man he had angered less then twenty-four hours earlier and managed to mend the rift this morning.
"Herman, am I early?"
"No, right on time. Harriet's just finishing up." With that last comment, she entered the room, their earlier discussions put out of her mind. She had her hair straightened and pulled tight into a ponytail, and she wore a light form-fitting sundress and sandals. Both men stood and stared at her as she walked up to them, and one of the two smiled widely in approval.
"If I were twenty years younger…" Jake began.
"She would STILL be my little cousin." They all heard from outside in the hall. Eileen had snuck up behind him just as Hermione entered the room.
"I only meant…"
"I know what you meant, and I'll take that as a complement," the slightly older woman commented, as Jake turned to greet her. She gave him a friendly hug as Hermione closed the distance to the small group.
"I believe I should too, then?" Hermione added, as she raised the corner of her mouth in a half smirk, only Harry noticed. "So where are we going, then? I'm quite famished; we spent the afternoon on the beach again."
"We have a number of choices," Jake addressed the group, as Harry closed and locked the door. Only his date noticed a mild glow from his hand on the doorknob as he closed it, sealing it against unwanted entry. "There's a bunch of seafood joints around, and some steakhouses or we could try something different, there's a Japanese Sushi Bar in Port Orange that's good."
"Dinner last night was delicious; I don't think we could match that, but with the scares in Britain's cattle industry, I'd rather stick with seafood for now," Hermione offered. Harry agreed to the choice for another banquet from the seas. They walked behind Eileen and Jake, allowing them to lead the way, and so they could hold hands without being noticed by Jake.
They left the building. and since Eileen was the only one with a car, she volunteered to chauffeur the group. Daytona Beach was only ten miles away, but the Ponce Inlet was as quiet and as peaceful as if it were a thousand miles away, a uniquely romantic setting. Jake sat in the front next to Eileen leaving Harry and Hermione alone in the back. They left the neighborhood and traveled north to the main causeway across the bay to Port Orange. The restaurant Eileen picked was one of her favorite ones, specializing in grilled grouper. The meal itself was quite uneventful, the events of last night's discussions apparently forgotten.
Eileen had known their secret since they first met, since she and Hermione were truly cousins, but she distracted Jake to preserve their secret. Harry watched the interaction between Jake and Eileen throughout dinner and wondered if that was how he and Hermione looked to everyone last year. Both wanted the same thing but were too afraid to cross that line. All that was really needed was a simple nudge in the right direction.
They laughed when the conversation turned light and never broached the events from last night. They spent quite a long time at the restaurant in conversation, when Hermione asked about moving on to a lounge to continue the conversation. She had been the first to notice they monopolized the table way too long. Jake agreed and asked the waiter for the bill but was promptly informed it had been paid.
"Any idea who did this?" he asked the group. Harry sat sheepishly and grinned as Hermione reached under the table to give his hand a squeeze.
"You were gracious to us last night, so I wanted to return the favor."
"Look, kid, you could go broke paying all the time that. No, I'll treat you guys."
"Jake, that's not necessary, you see, my family was, err, is, well, fairly well off, and since my godfather had no other family when… when he died, I've gained his family's estate too."
"As long as you don't throw your money around, I hate seeing young kids waste their money."
"Jake, please don't concern yourself, this trip is the first time we've had a holiday, and we both really want to enjoy it. Neither of us knew about this until last year. The accountants back home have set up a small fund we can draw against while we're here, and besides, we both are too practical to waste money," Hermione interceded.
"Sounds like you both have your future under control, I'm glad to see that in today's youth."
"Besides," Hermione added, "all of our other expenses have been managed before we arrived; our Great-Uncle made sure we had an adequate allowance while we were here."
"Then I'll pick up the tab at this club we're going to. It's one of my favorite places in Port Orange, it's a jazz club called 'The Port Cay'."
"Excuse me? Did you say Portkey?"
"Yeah, it's a local spot with an Island flavor. They play jazz and on some nights reggae, a distinctive island sound."
"Sounds brilliant," Harry voiced his approval. He leaned over to whisper to Hermione, "It sounds too coincidental, the name and all, we'd best keep up our guard."
The trip there was brief, and outside the club, both Harry and Hermione looked at the marquee bearing the club's name and noticed the distinctive spelling and realized the coincidence was only in their minds. The young wizard and witch both began to relax when Jake seemed to pay less attention to them and more to Eileen, obviously deciding to bridge those invisible barriers. Eileen for once began to soften her resolve when she realized she was happier when he was around, and welcomed his attention in a way she'd avoided for so long.
At the door they were briefly stopped, and, being underage for the local establishments, were allowed entry after Eileen had a brief conversation with the doorman. The evening progressed better then Harry or Hermione had hoped. They found a fairly secluded table in back, where they didn't need to shout at each other, and maintained a pleasant conversation throughout the night. Jake and Eileen spent most of the evening dancing together, leaving the teens to themselves for most of the evening.
Over the next three weeks they managed to forget who they were, and they began to live as two normal teenagers in love would. Voldemort was nearly a forgotten memory. Harry slept with her in his arms, just to feel her warmth. His visions had ceased, but he still had the memories haunting him, but those too had been pushed back. They were making new memories together, enough to see through the troubled times. These were happy and warm memories for them both, building a stronger source should he need to use the Patronus Charm for defense. The love they shared had deeper effects that they couldn't imagine, giving them both an inner strength they would need in the months to come.
One evening while he was reviewing his notes from his special manuscript, she engaged herself in a practice she had almost abandoned since they left Privet Drive. She pick up her personal journal for a long over due entry.
Four weeks have passed since my last entry and so much has happened. Harry and I have finally admitted our feelings for each other, and we've been living together since. It seemed a little strange to be living with him at first, but now it feels so right. We've had to leave home; I guess our 'great-uncle' wants to make sure we are safe and at we least have the summer together before school starts in September.
His nightmares have disappeared since we've been together. It seems to have something to do with me. He fell asleep alone when we first arrived, and they returned. I've never left him alone since then; his mood has gotten softer without having to think about those dreams. He really has a gentle, loving soul, the way he holds me in his arms so lovingly every night; I feel like I'm in a warm blanket.
My cousin seems to have figured out our feelings, so that means she is a blood relative. I haven't gotten much more from her, but she comes from Daddy's side, not Mum's. She also knows about Albus, but she's tight-lipped on any details, just that he visited her to prepare the way for us. All she's told us is that she teaches at a special school for the arts.
And there's Jake. He's Eileen's friend and runs a specialty shop here. They had our problems when we first met him, they both like each other but both were afraid to admit it. Harry and I managed to push them closer, and it really agrees with them. I think they're going to have a brilliant future together as if they're meant to be together, just like Harry and me.
Harry.
I truly love him.
I never realized being in love was this grand. He's so gentle and loving. All he ever wanted was what we have, to belong and be wanted. And I do want him. He saw 'it' and was so gentle and understanding, it didn't matter to him. He told me he loves me as I am, from the inside out. He's so very special. His 'family' truly missed having someone special in their lives, and I can understand now why he detests returning there; it's almost as if they are dementors sucking every lick of happiness from him. As long as I can still breathe, he'll always have my love.
We almost made love several times, but he seems to be avoiding it. It is a little upsetting, I don't understand why. I wish I were prettier for him, maybe that's why he's avoided me like that. His birthday is in a week and I'm going to give him something special.
She closed her journal, and charmed it. Harry had figured out about it, he and Ron had her journal when they were still at Privet Drive; he also worked out what she had been writing. She wrote about him and her feelings for him. He never once asked about it, knowing her thought were personal and dear to her, and knew she would share them when she was ready.
July 31 rolled around. Harry and Hermione wanted to celebrate his seventeenth birthday together. Harry wanted a quiet evening alone with Hermione, something she wouldn't mind either. But her cousin had other plans for 'the Boy Who Lived'. Eileen and Jake, who had become closer and seemed quite involved with each other, decided to take them both to one of Orlando's amusement parks; Harry and Hermione both thought the name was a bit too funny, "The Magic Kingdom". It turned out to be a loud and crazy day, filled with thrill rides and venues designed to frighten the most stouthearted soul. None of these fazed Harry, although Hermione did squeeze his arm throughout most of the day. His Quidditch experiences were more thrilling than the steepest rollercoaster, and what could be more frightening than facing your greatest enemy in a dark graveyard surrounded by his evil followers? All in all, he played along to please his American hosts.
Many times during the day, Eileen was greeted by many of the colorful park employees, presenting everyone in the group with interesting and amusing prizes, balloons, hats and other fun and harmless treats. It was quite obvious she had been here often.
When they returned, Hermione feigned being tired to escape with her boyfriend for a quiet, romantic evening. They parted company with her cousin and Jake, who also planned to take the teens out for the evening. Hermione's change to that plan left the two adults to spend the evening alone. Jake turned the evening for four into another romantic evening for two, dinner at a quiet restaurant, followed by a late night stroll on the beach.
Hermione had their night planned too, a walk along the beach, to a dark cove, a cold bottle of wine, and the moonlight. She resigned herself to follow through wherever the night would lead.
Harry had other ideas. "Come on, I want to get away from here and just spend some time feeling free."
"Ok," she blushed, thinking he would play into her plan. "Let's go."
He held her hand, walked to the window balcony, raised his other hand and uttered, "UP". He held his prized Firebolt tightly, mounted it and the twinkle in her eyes began to fade, she realized by feeling free he wanted to go flying. It was the same thing that happened with Ron, she was afraid Harry's idea was going to be the same, flying. That was the one thing she was never good at. As a mater of fact, she could never get a broom more the foot off the ground. 'A witch that can't fly a broom, how embarrassing.' She always thought.
"Come on, get on." He said, and she looked at him with a question in her mind but couldn't find the words.
"Get on?"
"Yes, please, join me."
Reluctantly, she straddled his long stout shaft and slid back into him so she was safely held in his lap. "Where are we going?"
"Just away." And with that, he kicked off of the ground on the most powerful and fastest broom made and flew off into the moonlight at a slow leisurely pace. The last thing he wanted was for her to be frightened. "I brought the basket you packed, just point the way and tell me when to land."
She'd never really flown before; Ron tried to take her on their infamous date but showed off too much for her taste. This flight was like a gentile carriage ride through a park. And she thought a walk on the beach was romantic. But he was taking her to the moon!
"Can we land soon? I don't know where we are."
"We've been flying over the ocean for half an hour; we'll be there in another fifteen minutes." He had it all planned too. He was flying her to a secluded island he found on one of Jake's charts just so they could be alone.
"Here we are; a little piece of paradise now that you're here." They touched the sand with their feet as the broom slowed to a stop; the beach was illuminated by the moon light, casting long shadows in the sand. She slid off his lap and landed with a wobble, as Harry held her hand, keeping her from falling. He dropped his broom, as he held her in his arms. The basket hanging beneath the broom also fell unnoticed.
'Tonight. I'll be his tonight and forever,' she thought as she pulled him into her arms.
"Hermione, you need to know, all I want tonight is to be alone with you, to watch you in the moonlight and hold you in my arms."
She backed away from him a step, crossed her arms across her chest and slipped the thin straps of her dress off her shoulders to reveal nothing more then a thin lace garment; she was no longer self-conscious of her body when they were together. "Anything else you want tonight?"
He stared at her body for the first time in the moonlight, held his hand out to her as she took it in hers, pulling themselves together. He embraced her and began to kiss her passionately, starting from her moist lips, trailing down her neck, and to her perfectly round, firm breasts. She began to moan as he approached the soft curves of her chest, gently exploring every curve. Each kiss sent sparks through her body. Her fingers quickly released each button of his shirt, letting it drop to the sand next to her dress. He continued, dropping to his knees, as he passed over her breasts, and stopped just under the left side, lightly caressing the scar with his tongue. He continued kissing her firm stomach down to the petit bellybutton that was oh-so enticing. He lingered on her small scar from her birth, pressing his face deep into her belly. His hands reached up and began at the base of her neck and slowly, gently caressed her back stopping when his hands reached her bottom. Her scents had him intoxicated, the combination of chocolate and strawberry from her hair mingled with the sweet aroma of her sweat rolling between her breasts. His hands stopped on the thin lace that was her last defense as a girl, and he stood up. He kissed her as deeply as he ever had, exploring the sweet taste of her mouth, intertwining their tongues, becoming as close as they ever had.
He closed his eyes at the pleasure he was feeling, the softness of the girl he was holding. He pictured her every curve in his mind as his hands traced her body from her hair down her back, around her hips. His touch on her hips sent a shudder through her that she had never felt before. She ran her fingers through his matted, twisted hair, stroking each strand. His hands continued down her thighs down the outside of her legs. As he traced upward, his hands glided over the back of her thighs, causing a deeper reaction within her young body. She was more then ready as his hands paused when they touched the lace. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips, removed his hands and held her tight. She felt that he, too, was ready.
He buried his face in her hair, grateful for its luscious thickness. Through his closed eyes, he could see her, as he had so many times before, dying in his arms, her blood pooled at his feet and he held her tighter, afraid at that instant to let her go. She felt the shift in her palm from the tingle she began to crave to the cold, burn of fear.
"Hermione, I love you more then I can tell you. But, this… we can't… I can't. You-- we need to wait. We're too young. You're still only seventeen and we're both in school. You have no idea how much I want you. You have no idea how much I deeply love you. I will love you forever; past when we're old and gray with 30 grandchildren running around. I want to have children with you, no one else. Hermione, I'm afraid to risk you or our future for one moment's pleasure now. He could see that in my eyes and I won't risk our future."
His sudden end to what she was and had been waiting for oh so long put her mind in a spin. She slipped to her knees and quickly grabbed her dress to cover up, suddenly feeling embarrassed and rejected.
"Don't you desire me? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not good enough for the great Harry Potter?" she spit with the hurt she felt.
"I don't want or desire any one else but you. That's why I brought you to this deserted island; to be alone with you, and only you. And don't EVER think you're not good enough, I'm the lucky one to have you."
"I'm sick of the waiting, waiting for something that may never happen. What if you don't surv-" the lump in her throat ended her thoughts from forming into words, her thoughts flooded with his haunting screams from his dreams 'HERMIONE! PLEASE DON'T DIE, I LOVE YOU!' That didn't matter he could have looked into her thoughts and without words tell her what she wanted to hear.
"I know if we do this now, it will bring us nothing but pain, we must wait. Please sit."
She was glad for the darkness so he couldn't see her tears, or see the silent sobbing and breaking of her heart.
"I need to tell you what I saw. We were in battle, the last battle. I saw many close friends dead and dying around us. You were torn from my arms and---"
"NO… I CAN'T HEAR IT… I Won't. If you truly love me, then prove it to me tonight."
"I did."
"NO…" she sobbed openly, "NO, you can't be so cruel to push me away again."
"I didn't push you away; I want to save your life. He's still out there; I can somehow feel his thoughts. If he ever reads mine, you'd be his next target. I can't have that happen. I won't let it happen."
"Just, please, don't lie to me."
"I will never lie to you, remember that, always. I love you, Hermione, only you." With that he pulled her close and let her tears fall on his shoulder. "I'll never push you away again, I promise."
"I can't take being with you and not having you."
"When this is over, all you'll have is me, forever, I promise." Never before were his words so true. "Are you ok now?"
"Yes, I just wanted tonight to be for us, I wanted it to be special for you."
"You made it special by being here with me. I know how you feel; I hope you know how I feel about you."
"Harry," she tried to suppress her sobbing, "I'm sorry. I… its just that I love you so much, I wanted…"
"I know. Shhhh… its ok… I want the same thing, with you, but not now." He held her close to his body, the touch of her bare breasts against his chest was almost more then he could bear; he never wanted to let her go. They stayed there, locked in a tight embrace for most of the night; the sound of the waves lapping on the sand and her slowed breathing was all he heard that night. Just before dawn, they both woke, still lying on the beach in each other's arms.
"Harry. We need to get back before the sun comes up and we're seen."
"I thought about that, love. Look in the bottom of your basket."
She pulled out his father's old cloak. They quietly dressed; Harry couldn't take his eyes off the beauty next to him as she slipped on her dress, trying not to look obvious.
"Harry, are you enjoying watching me dress?"
"Umm… I, uhh… couldn't help it."
"Well, mister, maybe we'll need to make some changes when we get back."
He couldn't see the smirk on her face, so he thought he was in for a rough time at home.
He retrieved his Firebolt and waited for her to get comfortable again before covering them both with his invisibility cloak. It was still dark, but he didn't want to risk them being seen.
The day after his birthday was noticeably tense. They had what was, in reality, their first fight as a couple, which was very different from the fights they had when they were merely friends. This one hurt more. She knew in her heart he was right, but it didn't help the hurt of being rejected, no, not rejected, protected against her will. She knew how to handle herself against Death Eaters; she proved that in the Ministry last year.
She needed some time for girl talk. But she had to wait for him to get distracted; he felt a need to soar. "I'm going to out for a little night practice." And with that he grabbed a snitch and his Firebolt, stepped out to the balcony and disappeared into the sky. She left for an apartment two doors away.
"Eileen, please, I need to talk."
"Ok. Shall I guess the subject? Or is the 'subject' still in your apartment?"
"Yes and no. He's part of my problem."
"I don't see a problem, he loves you deeply, more then anyone I've ever known. So what's happened to you two?"
"We had a disagreement last night."
"Did he try something? If he did…"
"No… I did, but he didn't want me."
"That I find hard to believe. Do you want to tell me what happened?"
She told Eileen every detail, leaving out the fact they flew to a small island on a broom. She told her how she felt, the hurt she felt at being rejected.
"Hermione, you're being silly, he's shown more maturity in this then most grown men. You should feel lucky he's thinking of you, not just himself. Stay with him, when he feels you are both ready, it will happen, don't rush it, it should be the most special night of your lives."
"I wanted last night to be the special night, I thought we were ready."
"You're only seventeen, and he just turned seventeen. Give yourselves more time to grow together, and you'll be surprised how special it will be. Ask yourself this, and you don't have to tell me your answer, do you truly love him?"
The month of August was spent with lazy days on the beach or with Jake on his boat, letting their souls drink deeply from the nourishing and life-giving ocean. Hermione tried to put that night on the beach behind her, and tried not to think about his lips, as they tasted each curve of her body. His thoughts too tried to avoid that night, as he wanted the same thing she wanted, but he wanted it to last forever. Eileen's advice to her to wait was the hardest thing she had ever endured. Every night as they slept together, she never wanted to let him go.
Early one morning in mid August, he woke in her arms as he always had, as she slept. He knew this was the only place he ever wanted to be, this was the only peace he ever felt. He gently stroked her hair, being careful not to wake her. She had begun wearing her hair pulled back in a ponytail at night, tied with a ribbon. Most nights when he woke before she did, he would untie it, to see her face framed in her hair, the way he did that first morning he woke in her arms. He carefully untied the ribbon from her hair tonight, letting her hair cascade around her face. He loved the way her hair felt and how fragile she looked with her hair down. He took her right hand in his as she lay with him and gently kissed each finger. He still held the ribbon he took from her hair and wrapped it around their hands, to symbolically bind their hands together. He placed a gentile kiss on her cheek and whispered his love for her at that moment while staring at her closed eyes.
"I love you Hermione Jane Granger. Your love and friendship are the most important things in my life and gives my life purpose. I would die without you. I promise from now and forever to make your happiness and safety my life's only purpose. I give you my heart, body and soul for as long as you want them. I promise to be truthful and faithful to you for as long as you want me. This I promise to you, now and forever," he whispered in her ear.
"I love you too, Harry, now and forever." She sighed in her sleep while dreaming of him.
He felt a surge of warmth flow between them as they made their pledge of love.