Pulling Away

Chapter 8

Author's Note: Review review review, I am getting lots and I love it. I am going through a bit of writers block because of finals, everything should be fine soon though. Thank you to everyone who reads and reviews, I really appreciate that you like my story.

Disclaimer: Definitely do not own 24 or any of it's affiliates, although that would be swell, do not own characters, plots, beautiful actors, etc. etc.

Relieved, Michelle ran up the stairs and into their bedroom. Tony was curled up in the fetal position on his side of the bed, on top of the covers. Michelle was too panicked to even notice how cute he looked sleeping there. She walked over to the bed, and crawled up next to him. She didn't want to wake him up, she just wanted to hold him, and know that he was alive and alright. She positioned her body the same way his was, and fit perfectly behind him. Michelle gently rested her arm over his chest, and soon fell fast asleep.

Morning came, and Tony was the first to wake up. His eyes were sore, and his head hurt. Once his vision wasn't blurry anymore, he sat up, and Michelle's hand fell from his body. He turned to her, and she was rousing from her slumber as well. Her eyes weren't open yet, but he watched her take a deep breath in. He recognized it immediately, and knew she was waking up shortly. Seeing her had made him remember exactly why he was waking up with sore eyes and a headache, and suddenly all the emotions from the night before came flooding back, and instead of standing there thinking how beautiful she was, he was thinking how badly she hurt him. He rubbed the back of his neck, the way he did every morning, and headed towards the bathroom. When he was in there, he closed the door.

A minute later, Michelle's eyes were finally open. She was dazed, but once she saw an empty space on the bed next to her, her eyes snapped wider, and she panicked. Where was he? Had she dreamt that he was there? She was so worried that her breath caught in her throat. Then, Tony emerged from the bathroom. Michelle was so relieved that she began to cry. Before she could stop it, her face was drenched. Tony saw that she was crying, and though he was angry with her and she had hurt him, he still cared about her. After all, she was his wife. He walked back over to the bed and sat down next to her and rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Michelle, what's wrong?" He asked tenderly. Michelle was surprised of his gentle tone.

"Tony, I - " She began, but paused and looked up at the ceiling, trying to regain her composure. When she could talk again, she brought her head back down, and looked him dead in the eye. "I had a horrible dream about you. You were in a car accident, and I went to go visit you in the hospital, and you were so mad at me about the baby, that you asked me for a divorce." Michelle finished the words burning her heart, but thankful that it wasn't true. Tony, brought her in close for a hug.

"Michelle, I would never ask you for a divorce. I know we had a fight, and things have been rough since I've been back, but they will get better. I know they will." Tony whispered into her ear. Michelle smiled at his words of hope, and then sniffled in. She pulled away from the hug and looked him in the eye. She leaned in and kissed him, trying to make it passionate, but she could feel Tony resisting. They were having such a positive moment, she didn't want to ruin it by nagging him about his being distant, and she let it be for now.

After they had their morning coffee, they had agreed to sit down and talk out all their problems. They both took a seat on the couch, and Tony set his beer on the coffee table, but not before taking a rather large sip.

"Alright, where do we start?" He asked. Michelle knew immediately where to start.

"That." She replied with a straight face.

"What?" Tony asked very confused. Nothing had even been said yet, how could there be a 'that'.

"The drinking." Michelle began, and Tony dropped his head down. "Tony, why are you drinking so much? I thought you never even liked to drink?" Michelle said, not in a nagging tone, but Tony could pick up on the subtleties. He sighed loudly, and looked back up at her with a guilty expression.

"I don't know. Maybe because it's comforting, or maybe because it's something new, I really don't know Michelle." Tony said.

"Tony, it's not you. It's changing you for the worse." Michelle said.

"Prison changed me for the worse, alcohol has nothing to do with it." He blurted out in his defense. He hung his head aware of what he just said. Michelle sighed, wondering if she should bring up the next topic. After a minute of thoughtful silence, she decided to bring it up.

"Tony, "She began in a whisper. "You can't even make love to me." She finished, a tear sliding down her cheek. Tony still hadn't looked up. He felt too guilty. He knew it was true, but he didn't know why. He had been away from her for so long, why couldn't he be with her again?

"Michelle, I'm sorry. Don't you think I want nothing more than to be with you again? I've been gone for so long. A part of me thinks we'll never get back what we had." He said honestly. Michelle nodded in defeat. She was now crying steadily, but not making any sound. She envisioned Tony scooping her up, and holding her until she fell asleep, but instead, he just reached for his beer, and took another large sip.

Tony wanted to hold her, but he was scared to. It didn't feel like she was his wife anymore. Loving her would always be universal, but it was buried deep under so many other feelings and emotions. If she only knew what he had gone through for her. If she could possibly understand the pain and torture he had suffered while he was in prison, she wouldn't be saying these things to him. To her, he seemed selfish for not caring about what she was going through, and to him, she seemed selfish for demanding him to be the way he used to. What they both had no idea of was each other. They were just two lost souls traveling in the same direction, without hope of ever getting back to their old lives.

"Tony, can we finish this another time please." Michelle said walking over to the stairs, and after one last glance at her husband still sitting on the couch, his beer in hand, she continued up the stairs. The whole while she was walking up the stairs she couldn't knock the worst thoughts she had ever had out of her head. Is this the end of my marriage? Is there nothing I can do to change this?

The thoughts burned her mind, her heart felt tortured. She had never felt such a whirlwind of emotion, save for the virus case. And that seemed to be at the tail end of what was going on in her life right now. Of course she blamed herself for some of the downfalls, most in fact, but in her heart, she finally realized that the man she married had disappeared. He was gone forever, and she was never going to get him back.

She walked into her bedroom, and sat on the bed for a minute. She let all her feelings surge through her body, and before she knew what had hit her, she was running to the bathroom. Vomit escaped her body, and after she had nothing left, she flushed and couldn't help but feel a slight part of her old happy life go down the toilet as well.