Disclaimer: see Chapter One
Chapter Fourteen: Despair
Draco curled into a tight ball on the faded blanket. His nose was stuffy and his face felt hot but the tears had eventually abated. His puffy gray eyes took in his surroundings. Sunlight illuminated the room, highlighting the dingy curtains and shabby armchair in the one-room cottage. Lupin said it was nothing fancy.
Draco bit his lower lip as the tears threatened to fall again. What will I do now? How did he find us? Mother said we were safe. The thought of his mother sent him over the edge once more as his grief overwhelmed him. Images of his mother assailed him: teaching him to fly a broom, working with him as he learned his letters, crooning to him as he lay hurting after his father had had a bad day. How could he continue without her?
What about Father? He was not there with Voldemort, I'm sure of it. Is he dead as well? Am I an orphan? Draco slowly sat up hugging his knees to his chest. He rocked slowly, resting his warm forehead on his knees, his tears dampening the fabric of his expensive trousers. Mother, how can I do this without you?
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Draco slowly sat up hugging his knees to his chest. He rocked slowly, resting his warm forehead on his knees, his tears dampening the fabric of his expensive trousers.The dark-haired wizard's unconscious body was gently laid on a bed. His long, lean legs hung over the end, almost touching the floor.
"It doesn't fit," said Valerian to his leader, Cato, who stood beside him.
"What have I told you about calling them 'it'?" fumed Cato, whirling on Valerian.
Valerian colored with anger. "They have never shown US any respect! They enslave our people and do not even call us elves but HOUSE-elves!"
Cato had been through this same argument with each of his comrades on numerous occasions. "Nevertheless, we are to treat all beings with respect. We will not sink to their level. When we came here I was the first to lead. It was I who taught the others how to speak correctly and gave us all the names that broke our bondage. Our names were not chosen randomly. They all have a deeper meaning: names that mean strong, free, wise and great. We must not follow the same path as the humans or we will be just as lost." Cato turned to the doorway as a wizened elf entered, slowed by a pronounced limp. Cato asked, "Hippocrates, can you heal this human?"
Hippocrates limped over to where Severus' body lay. The elf Healer had spent many long years in servitude to a dark wizard's family and had much practice mending broken human bodies. He bent over the wizard, his shaky hands hovering over the still body. "Linky can heal Master's body but Master's mind is strangely clouded."
Valerian rolled his eyes and Cato flashed the young elf a venomous look. Cato then spoke patiently to the older elf. "They are no longer our masters, Hippocrates. That time is over for us." He did not even go into the 'Linky' debate as the old elf was still new to the group, having just been 'clothed', or discharged, less than a fortnight ago.
Hippocrates looked at Valerian and Cato over his large rectangular spectacles. "Linky is too old to change. Master is broken but not beyond healing. Linky needs to focus." The elf turned back to his task.
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Severus squatted on the landing near where his body had been engulfed. Albus, Poppy and Dobby stood beside him. Dobby seemed more agitated and restless than usual, wringing his hands and bouncing about nervously. The humans assumed it was worry over the welfare of the professor's body and a deep concern for Ron but it was not.
"When I fell, I hit this panel in the wall, I think." Severus pointed to the wainscoting along the bottom of the wall. He ran Ron's hand over the wood, trying to reactivate the passage.
Dobby now bounced from foot to foot.
Albus spared a casual glance toward the house-elf. "Perhaps it would be triggered by a kick or some other forceful action?"
Dobby let out a little yip. "Dobby must go!" He popped out.
Severus stood and stepped back a bit. Using all the force he could muster from Ron's young body he kicked the panel and it gave way, opening into a dark passage.
The three had to crouch down considerably to enter the passage. "Allow me to lead the way," said Albus. "Lumos."
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"Masters are coming!" shrieked Dobby as he popped into the room that the elves had made into their headquarters.
"It will be okay, Tiberius," said Magnus.
"DOBBY is Dobby's name, Flinny!"
"Dobby is your slave name! I will not use it!"
Cato approached the arguing brothers. "We should not be fighting amongst ourselves. If Dobby wishes to retain that name he should be allowed to do so. He is a free elf, after all." He placed a calming hand on each elf's shoulder. "They will arrive anyway, Dobby. Lead them to us."
Dobby nodded and popped out.
Ron awoke staring into huge brown eyes. The elf leaning over him wore glasses and a toga-style garment tied over one shoulder. Ron could not believe his eyes, or rather Severus' eyes. He thought he saw house-elves before he fainted and he must've been right. But wait, if these were house-elves they would not be wearing garments, or was a toga considered a garment?
"How is Master feeling?" asked Hippocrates.
Ron could read the elf's lips and he gingerly moved his arms and legs, surprised that he felt no physical pain. What he did feel was an ominous sense of sadness, a hopelessness that he had never experienced before. It seemed to leave a heavy weight on his chest that made it hard for him to take a deep breath. "I am in no pain. Thank you."
Hippocrates seemed surprised to be thanked and smiled at the dark-haired wizard. "Master must do something about Master's sadness. Perhaps the Elation Elixir would be of some help?"
"I've never heard of that."
"The Elation Elixir can help Master overcome extreme sadness, but not without side effects."
Ron was about to ask more when the others arrived. Poppy came directly to him with Severus following reluctantly behind. Albus began to converse with Cato.
Poppy began to examine Ron and found him to be in almost perfect health. The elves had healing powers that were in many ways beyond that of Wizardkind. Of course, the body was still deaf, but at least he was not in danger of losing his life. "How do you feel, child?"
Ron wasn't sure how to respond. Should he tell her about the sadness? He caught Severus' gaze and decided against it. "I feel very well." He sat up and the bed collapsed under the strain. "Oh blast! Sorry about that."
Ron stood and Poppy immediately repaired the damage with a quick repairing spell. Ron looked his body directly in the eye. It was unnerving to see yourself from this angle. "Why does this keep happening? How can we stop it?" He didn't realize he was sneering or shouting until he saw his own red eyebrow raise.
Severus crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you think this is a picnic for me, Mr. Weasley? Do you think I enjoy being in a red-haired freckled body with raging hormones? Do you?" His ears were becoming red.
Ron watched his ears redden and could understand why people always teased him about it. It looked bloody ridiculous! "How do we change back?" he asked in a more placid tone.
"I think I have an idea. Take my hands and focus on your body and I will do the same."
They held hands, Ron reluctantly, and they focused on their own bodies. Ron felt the dizziness as he and Severus entered the plane were they shared all for a few seconds. He felt Severus' intense sadness and—wait, what has he been thinking? How could he even think of such a thing? Ron could sense that Severus was actively trying to block his darker thoughts from him. He had no time to process it further because he felt the now familiar pull of being drawn back to his own body. The dizziness passed and Severus roughly released his hands, muttering something about not wanting to be caught holding hands with a student.
Ron blinked a few times. The gnawing despondency was gone. He felt full of life and brimming with happiness and hope. Maybe he just appreciated feeling so good after having felt so very much the opposite. Ron stood staring at the Potion Master's retreating back. Should I tell someone? Maybe the house-elf was correct about that elixir. What If I don't tell and something happens? It would all be my fault! I can't let that happen. Ron approached Severus. "I need to talk to you, sir." he said in a shaky and not-so-confident voice.
'We have nothing to discuss, Mr. Weasley." Severus watched the emotions flash across the young man's expressive face. What is this, sadness and pity? PITY! Severus' eyes narrowed and he snapped. "Everything is fine." Severus felt the darkness descend upon his soul. Yes, this was his body; there was no doubt of it.
The Potion Master's words said one thing but his expression said quite another thing. It screamed stay out of this! Ron took a step back and nodded.
Dumbledore made an appointment to have the elves meet with him in his office in three days. The humans then left for the hospital wing to give the two their checkups more fully and to find out why the spell had gone awry. Ron lagged behind the others caught up in his own internal battle. Should I tell someone? What should I do? He'll kill me if I do but he may kill himself if I don't.
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Voldemort sneered at the pale wizard lying on the bed. "Why are you tarrying, Wormtail? Take the blood we need!"
Wormtail glanced at his master, fear in his pale eyes. "He is near death, Lord. If we can but wait a few more minutes for the blood building potion to take effect he will survive the letting." He averted his eyes.
The Dark Lord snorted but said no more. Keeping Malfoy alive was necessary at this point. He stared dispassionately at the wizard on the bed. He was truly near death, his skin so pale it almost matched the color of his hair. Perhaps, if he survives, I can think of another use for him. He used to be close to the traitor; maybe he could help in that area as well. I could use him to punish Snape. An inner fire was lit in his mind, banked by his desire for revenge against the Potions Master who had betrayed him. I will make Snape suffer more than words can express. Yes, Malfoy shall be the tool of Snape's undoing.
A shudder passed through Wormtail. When his Master was feeling particularly emotional it filled the room with a cold chill. Merlin help the one who is in his thoughts.
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Poppy smiled at Ron and nodded her approval. He and Severus were in very good shape now, except for the obvious fatigue. "After the headmaster sorts out what went wrong with the spell you may go." Poppy then crossed to where Dumbledore stood, researching the spell in an old book from his office, Snape at his elbow. Severus felt so very tired. He sunk into a chair at the nearby table and Dumbledore followed his lead, sitting beside him.
"We'll get this sorted out, Severus," said Dumbledore.
Severus attempted a weak smile and closed his eyes, feeling the deep despair pull at every fiber of his being. He leaned forward and took his head in his hands, elbows on the table. I've never felt quite this bad. He began to absently rub his temples. What use am I now? I can't hear and I've been found out as a spy. I am utterly useless. I cannot help Albus in the Order and I cannot teach, what is there left?
Albus will not let this go, I'm sure. I am simply a millstone around his neck. He thinks he is helping but I am only diverting his energies from where they should be, the fight against the Dark Lord. If I were gone he could focus his time on what he needs to do for the Order… and for Potter.
Albus watched Severus out of the corner of his eye. Whenever he rubbed his temples he was very upset. I know this goes beyond the body switch. How can I reach you? I fear for you, Severus.
Across the room Remus was looking quizzically at Ron, noting his unusually quiet mood. Ron seemed almost nervous, flicking glances repeatedly toward those at the table. "I'm glad you're doing well." Remus said, breaking the ice.
"Thanks to you. Prof—er—Remus." Ron's lips upturned slightly toward his former teacher.
"I don't require thanks." The lycanthrope smiled warmly at Ron. He could see that Ron was rather uncomfortable and looked nervous. "Is something bothering you?"
"Am I that obvious?"
He chuckled. "Yes, yes you are."
Ron hazarded a glance over to where the others sat. "I don't know whether to say anything or not."
"I'm not following you," said Remus.
Ron stared at the floor. "Would you tell if you knew someone might be in danger?"
"What sort of danger?"
"For example, let's say I know someone who is very depressed."
Remus' eyebrows rose. He followed where this was leading exactly. "You don't want to betray your friend's trust but you fear he may hurt himself?"
"Yes, what should I do?" Ron's eyes implored Remus as much as his words had done.
"You wouldn't want this friend to hurt himself, would you?"
"No, of course not. I tried to talk to him but he snapped at me."
"If you truly believe he is a danger to himself then you must take whatever action is necessary—even going to the to the headmaster himself. The headmaster knows all of your friends and I'm sure he could intervene where maybe you could not." Remus' eyes were drawn to the wizards sitting at the table. Poppy was bending over Albus' shoulder and talking to Snape, a bottle of Pepper Up potion in her hand, meant no doubt for Snape.
Ron nodded. "How can I get him alone?"
"Let me take care of that. Poppy?" He watched her turn and waited for Severus to view him as well. "I think this last dose of Pepper Up potion was brewed wrong. I feel nothing."
Severus stood knocking his chair backwards and then strode over, cheeks flushed and black eyes flashing, with Poppy following closely behind. "MY potions are not ineffective!"
Ron quickly stepped away and went to join the headmaster. "Sir?"
Dumbledore glanced up from the book for a moment. "Yes, Mr. Weasley?"
"I need to talk to you in private. It's about Professor Snape."
Albus drew Ron aside, concern etching the deep lines in his face. "What is it, child?"
"He's very depressed. I'm concerned that he may try to kill himself. I felt extremely depressed in his body and when I passed through him I knew he had been having those thoughts." Ron could no longer meet Dumbledore's gaze so he stared at his shoes.
"Are you certain of this, child?"
Ron nodded. "Yes," he answered in a small voice.
Dumbledore nodded, squeezing Ron's shoulder reassuringly. "Thank you for telling me, child…Severus." He waited for the Poppy to motion to the Potions Master so he could see his face. "I have found the solution. Poppy, we need to use the private room in back. Severus you and Ron go on in and I will be along in a moment."
Poppy nodded and led the two back to the room. She then joined Albus. "What's going on?"
"I need you to get some Elation Elixir from St. Mungo's."
Poppy's jaw dropped. "Are…are you certain? You do remember what happened—"
"—I am well aware of what happened before, as I was there. We will get through the side effects and he will be safe in the room in back—with me."
Poppy nodded and left to contact St. Mungo's.
Albus nodded to Remus. "You, of course, know to keep this strictly between us."
"Of course, Albus."
Dobby popped in with Minky on his arm. "Headmaster, sir, Minky is in trouble! Mistress Narcissa is dead and Master Draco is missing!"
"What?" asked Remus, sitting up and leaning forward. "Was Draco taken by You-know-who?"
Tears fell from the female elf's large eyes. "Minky doesn't know, Mistress thought it was safe. Minky doesn't know how the Dark Lord found Mistress."
"Blood magic will overcome all other magic," said Dumbledore. He sighed deeply feeling very weary. He had wished to take a nap but after the last few minutes' revelations knew it would not be possible any time soon.
"Let me handle Draco, sir," said Remus. "I may know where he's gone. I can take Minky and Dobby with me and we'll find him and bring him here."
Albus nodded. "Thank you, Remus. Are you quite sure you're up to it?'
"Yes, sir. I'm not completely back to normal but I think I know where he went, unless he was taken by…well… you know."
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Author's notes: I'm sorry if the last chapter was a bit muddled. When Snape and Ron are switching there is a small window where they both feel what the other feels. That's why Ron collapsed.
