A/N: The very first expression is one that I think is absolutely hilarious
(but remember I'm very sad) and just had to put in. Legolas wouldn't say it
in a million years, which makes it even funnier. I know I shouldn't make
assumptions but I am presuming that non-Brit readers don't know what it
means. It's basically a very definite way of saying no. Very definite.
Though I think that comes across pretty clearly.
Luvs Elfie xXxXx
Chapter 10
"Not on your nelly!" Legolas walked away from his father, shaking his head.
"Legolas, you are being childish," said Thranduil.
"I'm being childish?" said Legolas, indignantly. "She's the childish one!"
"If you gave her a chance, you would probably change your mind," said Thranduil.
"I'm happy with how my mind is right now," said Legolas. "I will not teach her archery."
"Why not?" said Thranduil.
"She'll probably shoot someone," said Legolas. "Or shoot herself in the foot, or something." Thranduil raised an eyebrow.
"In the foot?" he asked. "Is that even possible?"
"I'm sure she'd find a way," said Legolas.
"Please, Legolas," said Thranduil. "I promised Silva I'd provide her with the best of whatever she wanted. She wants archery lessons and you are the best. Please say you will do it."
"Will I get paid for it?" asked Legolas.
"Legolas, I'm beginning to lose my patience," said Thranduil, sternly. Legolas sighed and rolled his eyes.
"All right," he said, moodily. "When does she want to begin?" Thranduil smiled.
"Thank you, son," he said. "You won't regret it."
"I wouldn't be so sure," said Legolas.
So it was that Legolas would be Silva's tutor in archery. When she found out, although excited at the prospect of spending time alone with him, she knew it wouldn't be easy. He would find as many faults in her as possible and would probably be a very scornful, harsh teacher. This she wasn't looking forward to. But she would get through it. If he insulted her, she'd just cuss him right back, no problem. That was something she was very skilled at.
And so the day rolled round. She was more nervous than she could ever remember being. Partly because she didn't want to make a fool out of herself, partly because she was going to be spending time alone with Legolas (potential 'make a move' time) and partly because she was learning something new (it always made her nervous).
"11 o'clock in the entrance hall," she said aloud. "She kept saying it over and over again to ensure herself that she wouldn't forget.
She approached him cautiously, wondering if he was going to make some harsh comment straight away. She had to be on her guard, just in case.
"Good morning, Legolas,' she said quietly, avoiding eye contact.
"Good morning, Silvawen," he said, tensely. There was an awkward silence for a moment. "I, er, thought perhaps we should go somewhere quiet. I decided that you wouldn't want to be watched on your first lesson."
"Yes, well, no, I mean, I agree, yes, I don't," she mumbled.
"Follow me, then," he said and walked away. Silva slapped her forehead. "Way to go, Silva,' she thought. 'That was soooo smooth.'
She followed him to a smallish clearing, just out of the castle's sight. There a target was set up and a bow and quiver of arrows lay on the ground, waiting to be used. 'Meep!'
"I shall show you how to handle a bow," he said abruptly and monotone. "Then how to notch an arrow. After that you are to shoot the target doing as I have shown you." HE showed her exactly that. He picked up the bow and an arrow, notched it, took up the proper stance and shot the target, right in the centre. Although he had done it only a quarter of his usual speed, it was still fairly quick, so Silva didn't quite catch it all.
"Er...." she began. Legolas sighed, irritably.
"You were watching, weren't you?" he asked.
"Yes," she said. "But you did it all a bit quick, so I didn't quite-"
"I will show you once more," he said, cutting her off. "But then I expect you to do it yourself." He repeated his actions and slowed them down once again. She watched with admiration. Those firm muscles were so defined, yet still he was of slender frame. Centuries of fighting battles, defending his people and his father's realm, risking his life for others, all that had taken its toll and caused him to be a walking fantasy. What she would give to just- 'ARGH! NO!!! Think archery! Concentrate on the Erudamn bow!'
"Now you do it," he said, making her snap out of hr trance.
"What?" she said.
"You do it," he said again. 'Oh shit!' She took the bow from him and stared at it for a few seconds. "Well?"
"Oh yeah, sorry," she muttered. She held the bow awkwardly. She could just about scrape back enough memory of what he'd done to get a vague idea of what she was doing. She picked up an arrow and notched it, not before dropping it three times though. Legolas didn't even see the next part. All he knew was he suddenly heard:
"OOOOOWWWWWWW!!!" from Silva. He looked down and saw an arrow protruding from her foot. 'Oh dear Eru, she did it,' he thought. 'This is worse than I thought.'
"What in the name of wonder...?" he began.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" She hopped round in a circle, clutching her foot.
"How did you...?"
"OWWW!!! FUCK!!!" She pulled the arrow out of her foot and blood poured over the grass.
"Let's get you to the Healer," he said, exasperatedly.
He led her slowly back to the castle, receiving many strange looks along the way. When they arrived at the Healer's room, he looked horrified.
"What on earth have you done?" he cried, thinking Legolas had caused this wound. It was commonly known that Legolas and Silva clashed immensely, but had it really come to blood shed?
"Shot myself in the foot," replied Silva through gritted teeth. The Healer relaxed a little.
"Is that possible?" he asked.
"Evidently," said Silva.
"How?" said the Healer.
"Better not to ask, I think," said Legolas.
"Right, er, well, yes, er, get her over to the table so I can have a look at her," he said. She hobbled over to the table with the support of the Healer, sat down and lifted her wounded foot onto the table. The Healer examined her for a few moments and then prodded the area around the wound. For that, he received a very sharp slap around the back of the head.
"Don't do that!!!" she cried. The Healer rubbed the back of his head tenderly and turned to Legolas.
"The wound isn't very deep, it didn't go all the way through," he said.
"Very well, I'll inform my father," said Legolas. 'This'll make him lover her even more now, won't it,' he thought. 'That's just great.' He left quickly. The Healer turned back to Silva.
"Arrogant bastard," she murmured. He heard her but didn't mention anything.
"I want you to keep your weight off it as much as possible," he said. "The less you walk, the quicker the wound will heal. Give yourself about a month, that should be long enough."
"But that means no more archery lessons," she said, distressed.
"Yes, it does," said the Healer. "I mean it, no walking. The more you rest, the quicker it heals. That's how it works. There's no way around it."
"Alright," she said, sulkily. "But can I at least have some help getting back to my room?"
"I shall call for some maids to escort you," he said. "So please stay here for a minute." He left her alone in the Healing Room to think about her situation.
"Don't make a fool out of yourself," she said, aloud. "You repeated over and over again and still you managed to shoot yourself in the foot. An action which none of the Elves seem to think is possible. You stupid woman. He's going to love you more than ever now, isn't he? How the hell did you manage it?! Well, at least Rath didn't see it." She sighed miserably. 'He'll probably refuse to teach me now,' she thought. 'I wouldn't blame him. I wouldn't want to teach me after this. I suppose I could play a guilt trip on Thranduil and make him tell Legolas to teach me. No, that's not fair on him. That's just abusing the privilege. But he'd do it though.' Just as she pondered that thought, the Healer returned with two maids.
"They will return you to your chamber and get whatever you wish," he said. "You will experience pain, that I can do nothing about, but I am going to bandage your foot to prevent infection of the wound."
"Ok," she said miserably.
"Think of it this way," said one of the maids. "You'll have plenty of time to make your dresses." Silva smiled.
"Yes, you're right," she said. "And I can put all my to them as well. I'm going to make some stunning clothes that even he can't ignore." The last part she said quietly, to herself. A few alterations here and there and some of the dressed would have his eyes popping out of his head. 'This'll be fun.'
Chapter 10
"Not on your nelly!" Legolas walked away from his father, shaking his head.
"Legolas, you are being childish," said Thranduil.
"I'm being childish?" said Legolas, indignantly. "She's the childish one!"
"If you gave her a chance, you would probably change your mind," said Thranduil.
"I'm happy with how my mind is right now," said Legolas. "I will not teach her archery."
"Why not?" said Thranduil.
"She'll probably shoot someone," said Legolas. "Or shoot herself in the foot, or something." Thranduil raised an eyebrow.
"In the foot?" he asked. "Is that even possible?"
"I'm sure she'd find a way," said Legolas.
"Please, Legolas," said Thranduil. "I promised Silva I'd provide her with the best of whatever she wanted. She wants archery lessons and you are the best. Please say you will do it."
"Will I get paid for it?" asked Legolas.
"Legolas, I'm beginning to lose my patience," said Thranduil, sternly. Legolas sighed and rolled his eyes.
"All right," he said, moodily. "When does she want to begin?" Thranduil smiled.
"Thank you, son," he said. "You won't regret it."
"I wouldn't be so sure," said Legolas.
So it was that Legolas would be Silva's tutor in archery. When she found out, although excited at the prospect of spending time alone with him, she knew it wouldn't be easy. He would find as many faults in her as possible and would probably be a very scornful, harsh teacher. This she wasn't looking forward to. But she would get through it. If he insulted her, she'd just cuss him right back, no problem. That was something she was very skilled at.
And so the day rolled round. She was more nervous than she could ever remember being. Partly because she didn't want to make a fool out of herself, partly because she was going to be spending time alone with Legolas (potential 'make a move' time) and partly because she was learning something new (it always made her nervous).
"11 o'clock in the entrance hall," she said aloud. "She kept saying it over and over again to ensure herself that she wouldn't forget.
She approached him cautiously, wondering if he was going to make some harsh comment straight away. She had to be on her guard, just in case.
"Good morning, Legolas,' she said quietly, avoiding eye contact.
"Good morning, Silvawen," he said, tensely. There was an awkward silence for a moment. "I, er, thought perhaps we should go somewhere quiet. I decided that you wouldn't want to be watched on your first lesson."
"Yes, well, no, I mean, I agree, yes, I don't," she mumbled.
"Follow me, then," he said and walked away. Silva slapped her forehead. "Way to go, Silva,' she thought. 'That was soooo smooth.'
She followed him to a smallish clearing, just out of the castle's sight. There a target was set up and a bow and quiver of arrows lay on the ground, waiting to be used. 'Meep!'
"I shall show you how to handle a bow," he said abruptly and monotone. "Then how to notch an arrow. After that you are to shoot the target doing as I have shown you." HE showed her exactly that. He picked up the bow and an arrow, notched it, took up the proper stance and shot the target, right in the centre. Although he had done it only a quarter of his usual speed, it was still fairly quick, so Silva didn't quite catch it all.
"Er...." she began. Legolas sighed, irritably.
"You were watching, weren't you?" he asked.
"Yes," she said. "But you did it all a bit quick, so I didn't quite-"
"I will show you once more," he said, cutting her off. "But then I expect you to do it yourself." He repeated his actions and slowed them down once again. She watched with admiration. Those firm muscles were so defined, yet still he was of slender frame. Centuries of fighting battles, defending his people and his father's realm, risking his life for others, all that had taken its toll and caused him to be a walking fantasy. What she would give to just- 'ARGH! NO!!! Think archery! Concentrate on the Erudamn bow!'
"Now you do it," he said, making her snap out of hr trance.
"What?" she said.
"You do it," he said again. 'Oh shit!' She took the bow from him and stared at it for a few seconds. "Well?"
"Oh yeah, sorry," she muttered. She held the bow awkwardly. She could just about scrape back enough memory of what he'd done to get a vague idea of what she was doing. She picked up an arrow and notched it, not before dropping it three times though. Legolas didn't even see the next part. All he knew was he suddenly heard:
"OOOOOWWWWWWW!!!" from Silva. He looked down and saw an arrow protruding from her foot. 'Oh dear Eru, she did it,' he thought. 'This is worse than I thought.'
"What in the name of wonder...?" he began.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" She hopped round in a circle, clutching her foot.
"How did you...?"
"OWWW!!! FUCK!!!" She pulled the arrow out of her foot and blood poured over the grass.
"Let's get you to the Healer," he said, exasperatedly.
He led her slowly back to the castle, receiving many strange looks along the way. When they arrived at the Healer's room, he looked horrified.
"What on earth have you done?" he cried, thinking Legolas had caused this wound. It was commonly known that Legolas and Silva clashed immensely, but had it really come to blood shed?
"Shot myself in the foot," replied Silva through gritted teeth. The Healer relaxed a little.
"Is that possible?" he asked.
"Evidently," said Silva.
"How?" said the Healer.
"Better not to ask, I think," said Legolas.
"Right, er, well, yes, er, get her over to the table so I can have a look at her," he said. She hobbled over to the table with the support of the Healer, sat down and lifted her wounded foot onto the table. The Healer examined her for a few moments and then prodded the area around the wound. For that, he received a very sharp slap around the back of the head.
"Don't do that!!!" she cried. The Healer rubbed the back of his head tenderly and turned to Legolas.
"The wound isn't very deep, it didn't go all the way through," he said.
"Very well, I'll inform my father," said Legolas. 'This'll make him lover her even more now, won't it,' he thought. 'That's just great.' He left quickly. The Healer turned back to Silva.
"Arrogant bastard," she murmured. He heard her but didn't mention anything.
"I want you to keep your weight off it as much as possible," he said. "The less you walk, the quicker the wound will heal. Give yourself about a month, that should be long enough."
"But that means no more archery lessons," she said, distressed.
"Yes, it does," said the Healer. "I mean it, no walking. The more you rest, the quicker it heals. That's how it works. There's no way around it."
"Alright," she said, sulkily. "But can I at least have some help getting back to my room?"
"I shall call for some maids to escort you," he said. "So please stay here for a minute." He left her alone in the Healing Room to think about her situation.
"Don't make a fool out of yourself," she said, aloud. "You repeated over and over again and still you managed to shoot yourself in the foot. An action which none of the Elves seem to think is possible. You stupid woman. He's going to love you more than ever now, isn't he? How the hell did you manage it?! Well, at least Rath didn't see it." She sighed miserably. 'He'll probably refuse to teach me now,' she thought. 'I wouldn't blame him. I wouldn't want to teach me after this. I suppose I could play a guilt trip on Thranduil and make him tell Legolas to teach me. No, that's not fair on him. That's just abusing the privilege. But he'd do it though.' Just as she pondered that thought, the Healer returned with two maids.
"They will return you to your chamber and get whatever you wish," he said. "You will experience pain, that I can do nothing about, but I am going to bandage your foot to prevent infection of the wound."
"Ok," she said miserably.
"Think of it this way," said one of the maids. "You'll have plenty of time to make your dresses." Silva smiled.
"Yes, you're right," she said. "And I can put all my to them as well. I'm going to make some stunning clothes that even he can't ignore." The last part she said quietly, to herself. A few alterations here and there and some of the dressed would have his eyes popping out of his head. 'This'll be fun.'