Title: Summer of discovery

Author: Joy

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A/N: I am sorry about the question mark and comma thing going on. I have tried a variety of things and nothing seems to work. Oh well.

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PLEASE READ: Harry and Ginny ARE NOT broken up. They are a normal couple with normal problems. Some times you don't really get along with your significant other; that does not mean either of them bailed. They are still seeing each other and hanging out. They just have not talked about the 'physical intimacy' issue. This is a short and serious chapter. Be prepared for Harry to absolutely loss it for a while.

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Chapter 7: Harry's breakdown

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Harry stood up and moved to the window staring outside at the 'uncomplicated' world. "Ginny always said she would tell me one day about the attack...but she never did. She wasn't ready. I saw it as a lack of faith in me. I tripped over my words terribly and implied that if she didn't tell me I would break up with her. It's not what I meant but its what it sounded like."

The 'boy-who-lived' turned back to the group and stared at his hands"Snape found a livid Ginny making a potion to do something very unpleasant to me and suggested instead that she give me her memories. He created a pill from her thoughts that allowed me to experience what Ginny went through and feel what she felt...right down to the bloody bastard's hard on pressed against her thigh. I personally think that if Snape could master it that would be a great deterrent to any crime...what ever you do to someone else you have to experience it."

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Everyone was silent for a while.

"You...you lived through it" Ron asked quietly.

Harry sighed"Look don't get the wrong idea... I'm grateful that I got to experience what she went through. I can't imagine ever being able to remotely understand, let alone appreciate Ginny's daily courage, without that experience. I wanted to know and I do."

He looked at the twins and Ron"I never want to cause Ginny any sort of pain but most especially fear. That was the part I hated most. The assault was awful yes...but seeing the ways I made things worse, the way I scared her in my own way...that broke my heart."

The twins nodded at each other then Harry. "If you don't want to hurt her, than you have to stop pushing her away in this realm of your relationship."

"She's becoming very insecure about your relationship" George stated,

"She's obsessing over her looks..." Fred commented.

"...your fans..."

"...Cho..."

"What" Harry said indignantly. "That was over a year ago."

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Fred put his hand on Harry's shoulder"Ginny feels like you love her in an emotional connection type way. She knows you would never intentionally hurt her. But she also sees a teenage boy that is snogging his girlfriend a bit and backs off whenever things get to close... and here at the Burrow you are distant physically and emotionally."

George continued"Ginny is waiting for you to break up with her. She's waiting for some other girl to come along and steal you. In her mind you do not desire her...she believes that in your mind the assault tainted her."

Harry hung his head in frustration"Its not the assault."

"Excuse me."

"She's not worried about the assault...at least not that one" Harry said with confidence.

"What are you on about Harry" Ron asked.

The raven-haired boy rubbed his scar gently"Ginny's afraid that I think that Tom has tainted her...that Riddle still has control." Harry knocked his head against the windowpane. "We've covered this ground. Why won't she believe me" he whispered.

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Fred and George were quiet for once. Ron, who was never known for his wisdom, stood and walked to his best friend. "I'm gonna tell you something that no one is supposed to know okay" Harry nodded. "Maybe it will explain things a bit. Ginny's gonna kill me if she finds out I told you but its important."

Harry turned to his friend"Okay."
"Ginny had to face a boggart once...not in class mind you...in life. It's not like anyone knew...it was just me and her." Everyone looked at him quizzically"Anyway, I was completely freaked but she...Gin got pissed and stood up to it. It turned into her Harry. Right there in front of Ginny stood her eleven-year-old self, clutching that bloody book. There was a shadow behind her, a teenage boy. Kinda looked like you. They were both smirking at her. I was horrified. I had no idea that was still lurking in her."

Ron continued"Ginny didn't scream or shake or cry... She glared at it. They started to laugh then whispered something in parseltongue. Ginny lost it and tried to kill, well, herself. It was very confusing really. Boggarts are supposed to be your worst fear, but it wasn't fear in her eyes. It was unmitigated hate." The red haired boy shook his head"It was the first time I ever realized I'm never gonna really know my sister...because she really doesn't want me to."

Ron offered no explanation as to how any of it happened or how it was resolved. He only told Harry the important part- Ginny hated herself in some very real ways.

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Harry stroked his brow. "So this is it... She needs me to show her I love her, but all the ways I chose aren't to her liking... ARRGGGHHH" he yelled throwing a book across the room. The Weasley boys were taken aback. "I hate this. I hate it so much. I hate him so much. Look at what he has done to my angel... I am going to kill that thing with my bare hands I swear it. I don't care about saving mankind. I just want revenge for what he has done to her."

He paced in odd ovals as he continued"Ginny means the world to me. I know I will never be complete without her. Yet the things I love her for are things she hated in herself. And if I don't curtail to the stupid notion that if I'm not sleeping with her then I obviously don't love her, I am going to lose her. But if I do sleep with her I'm gonna lose her anyway, because she is far too young to handle this... I mean the fact that this is about sex and not an expression of love and commitment is only going to lead to her feeling more insecure."

The red headed brothers watched him pace back and forth. Finally Harry threw up his hands"That's it... I'm going to see Arthur. Sirius is right. I'm stupid! I hate it when he is right. He gloats so badly. I mean how can a man trapped in a bloody frame be that arrogant. He can't even get laid anymore..."

Fred grabbed Harry by the shoulders"What are you on about Harry"

Harry glared"I'm going to get approval to marry your sister! Weren't you paying attention"

George looked at Harry like he was nuts"Harry...you realize Ginny's not old enough to get married."

"She will be on Halloween" the boy who lived snipped. He then turned from the brothers to continue muttering to himself"I have to flew Remus and get mum's ring and..."

Eventually Ron punched Harry in the gut to get his attention. "I haven't made Ginny cry. You aren't allowed to punch me willy-nilly. Crying was the rule you dolt."

"You aren't marrying Ginny" Ron said calmly.

Harry grit his teeth and glared at his 'best-friend'"Bloody well try to stop me."

Ron looked to his brothers for help"He's gone. We need Ginny here. She's the only one that can fix him."

Fred shook his head"Ginny's the reason he's like this."

George put in his two sickles"It doesn't matter. He's losing it."

"I'm not losing anything. I just know what has to be done" Harry exclaimed.

"Harry, she's fifteen" a female voice said from nowhere.

"What was that" Fred asked.

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Harry turned to his bed in Ron's room. Lily stood alone in a picture patiently waiting for her son's eyes to fall upon her. Harry came quickly over"Mum... you heard right"

"Yes."

"Then you know I have to" he pled.

She smiled"Of course...but not now. There is time to be young Harry. Be young."

"Being young is something I have never been..." he whispered. "I can't lose her."

"You won't" she assured her son.

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Lily looked at Harry"I wish I could hug you and hold you and make you believe it will be alright. What I can do is assure you that Ginny has no desire to lose you. You just have to show Ginny you love her...tell her that you love her..." She sighed sorrowfully"And understand when she doesn't say it back."

"Why won't she" Harry asked quietly.

"No one alive loves you more. But there are a lot of very complicated things inside of Ginny. She must chose her path...and you must wait for her."

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Lily looked to the rest of the room. "And as for the rest of you... Lets have a real conversation about making love... God knows you guys need help."

"This is freaky" George and Fred said as one.

"What is" Lily asked.

"Well, you're the hot dead mother of the guy that is like a little brother to us that is dating our little sister..." George offered.

"It's pretty weird" Fred stated.

She smiled"Doesn't help matters that your little sister looks like me too, does it"

"Bloody hell! She's right" Ron stated.

"Enough of that... Here are some tips from a happily married woman who had a wonderful sex life."

Harry laid face down on his bed hiding under a pillow. "My life is beyond strange" he mumbled.

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TBC...

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Say it with me: I will REVIEW this story. I will REVIEW this story.