Pathway to Hell
Chapter 10 The Morning After
AN: I love you all! Thank you for all the fabby reviews and just because of that I decided to write you good people another chapter instead of updating The Mission of God. I know the whole Murphy and Gaia thing poor Chas! It needed to happen! OK well I love your reviews I love you guys and I hope you love my story! Thank you Yukebabe for your review and YAY lost of Chas in your next chappie cant wait!
I woke up my head spinning by body aching. My eyes snapped open as I realised I wasn't alone. No, I defiantly wasn't alone. Murphy lay beside me his eyes closed in deep slumber. My throat tightened, my eyes began to well with tears. What had I done? Had I slept with Murphy? Of course I had! We were lying naked in a BED! What the hell did I think we had done!
How could I just do that to Chas? How could I cast aside the love I felt for him with one god damn night with a demon! Not just any demon but a demon who had known me since I was a baby! Fuck I was so stupid!
I felt Murphy stir beside me was he waking up? What would I do... How could I get out of this? What would CHAS think?
"Mmm..." He moaned turning over to face me.
"Hey Luce." He said softly flashing me a quick smile.
I couldn't bear to look at him thoughts of last night filling my mind... I certainly had lost control that's for sure.
"What's wrong?" He asked sitting up slightly sensing my discomfort.
I grabbed a sheet from the bed backing away slowly.
"I'm sorry Murphy I never meant for this to happen... I just lost control! I love Chas I can't!" I sobbed running to the bathroom quickly locking the door behind me.
"Hey Luce c'mon wait a min!" Murphy called following me.
"Go away!" I said collapsing onto the toilet lid.
"Luce come on! I live here I can't go away! Just open the door"
"You just don't get it!" I said through a flood of tears.
"Murphy I love him! He's the only person who ever made me feel safe"
"Yeah? What about me Luce? Don't I make you feel safe I am your body guard you know!" He said half seriously half jokingly.
"SHUT UP!" I screamed.
How was I supposed to think? How could I go back and face Chas after this? How could I walk in like nothing had happened. I had fucked a demon! "SHIT!" I screamed throwing an empty glass at the wall.
"HEY! Calm the fuck down Luce. It may not be much but I do LIVE here"
"I'm so sorry Murphy I just lost it! Last night it just seemed like a good idea! I couldn't control myself I was just so pissed off!" I sobbed.
How could I have been so god damn stupid.
"Okay that's fine Luce just come out okay you're freaking me out"
I took a deep breath gathered the sheet around myself and opened the door.
"Fuck Murph put something on!" I said trying to ignore the lover half of his anatomy.
"That's not what you were saying last night" He smirked pulling on a pair of boxers on.
"Murphy I'm sorry. I really am sorry I should have never have led you on like that." I said falling onto the bed.
"C'mon kid I knew this was nothing but a one night stand don't screw with yourself coz of it"
My eyes widened. I knew what he was saying was true but why had we done it if we both knew it would led to nothing!
"I need to go." I said gingerly picking up my clothes.
"Hey Luce." Murphy said gently taking my hand.
"Yeah"
"It did mean something to me ya know"
I nodded.
"Yeah it meant something to me too... Just not enough"
He nodded walking into the kitchen.
I quickly dressed . How would I explain this when I got home?
"Bye." I shouted walking from the small apartment. Yes, it was small but it wasn't Constantine small!
"Where is she Chas?" John asked getting back to his usual self slowly but surly.
After 10 hours of listening to his life story through the kid how could he not remember who he was!
"I dunno John she should have been back hours ago... Maybe summit happened to her?" Chas asked by this time he was VERY worried.
Gaia was in a delicate place at the moment and after just being screamed at by him who knows what could happen!
"Chas how could you just let her leave like that? Are you demented!" John said with a slight grin.
It had been so long since he had felt anything but pain it felt great to be remotely happy.
"I know John I just... I dunno..." Chas said solemnly. He really had fucked up this time.
John sighed rubbing his neck.
"We got any drink in? Any cigarettes? Anything?"
"Yeah we've got you're whiskey, hasn't been touched and a couple cartons in the kitchen. I'll get them for you." Chas said getting up.
Just like old times. Chas doing anything for John and John excepting happily, the way it should have been from the start.
Chas returned with a full glass of whiskey for John and one for himself, he really did need it.
He placed the glasses along with the carton on cigarettes on the coffee table before the man.
"Thanks kid." He said gulping the liquid quickly and lighting a fag.
He blew a plumb of smoke into the air savouring the tang the familiar nicotine brought him. God it had been WAY to long. It was one thing to be in hell but to go an eternity without a smoke that truly WAS torture!
"I'm sorry John... If we'd just got there sooner"
"Come on kid you know just as well as me you did everything you could! You got me out didn't you! By the way how the hell did you get me out"
"Oh. You sold your soul for our safety, didn't you? So that me and Gaia would both be safe and unbothered by demon half breeds"
"Right." John said in agreement taking another long drag at his precious cigarette.
"Well that didn't happen John. Balthazar attacked Gaia, he was still mad at her for the whole thing with the holy water"
"WHAT? Is she okay?" John asked in shock.
"Yeah she's fine now Michael healed her but she was in a pretty bad way, he literally ripped her face apart on a wall, broke a few bones, ripped her back to shreds! She was really bad, he probably would have killed her but Lucifer saved her"
"Lucifer? Why would he do something like that"
"Dunno, he said he loved her and no matter what she though she was his daughter and she always would be you know all that shit"
"So that's why he was deported"
"Yeah Lucifer did it himself. Not only because he fucked up his daughter but because he had ruined your deal"
"Hmm..." John said deep in thought.
He was interrupted by the front door opening and Gaia walking in.
She looked terrible her eyes were red and puffy, looked like she had been crying for hours. She was painfully thin more so than he remembered and she was pale so unnaturally pale.
"Hey." He said giving her a brief smile.
I walked in after crying all the way here. My stomach was in knots I was terrified how would Chas react... Could I even tell him what I'd done?
I didn't expect John to be sitting on the sofa with Chas, smoking a cigarette with a large whiskey in his hand.
"Hey" he said smiling slightly.
"John?" I questioned.
I was hallucinating, I had to be! When I had left John had been a twitching mess shaking uncontrollably on the floor. Looks like Chas was right, I should have left right from the start.
"Hey Gaia." He said softly.
"How've ya been"
"You asshole!" I screamed at him.
He looked shocked, taken aback by my sudden outburst.
"How can you sit there and act like nothing happened? How can you act as if you never left?" I screamed new tears falling from my already painfully sore eyes.
"Gaia? I didn't mean to"
"No you didn't mean to! You didn't mean to go out there despite me telling you not to! You didn't mean to sell your soul before finding out the facts! You didn't mean to cause my nightmares but you did John! You did!" I cried collapsing on the floor.
All my energy had gone. My lack of sleep and food suddenly catching up on me unexpectedly. I was shocked at my weakness my loss of control... It was happening a lot lately and I really did not like the effect it was having on me.
"Gaia!" Chas said running to my side.
He put his hand on my shoulder soothingly but it made my skin crawl.
"Don't touch me!" I screamed jerking back.
"I'm sorry Gaia! I'm sorry for being so stupid telling you to leave! I'm so sorry Gaia." "Don't call me that." I said coldly.
I surprised myself by my words. Don't call me that? Why the hell not it was my name!
No, your name is Luceria
My name is Gaia. Luceria is what half breeds call me... It's the name Lucifer gave me.
But you're Lucifer's daughter are you not? It is your birth name, your true name.
What am I talking to myself now? Jesus I need sleep.
"What do you mean?" John asked coolly from the sofa taking another puff of his cigarette.
"Nothing." I said regaining my senses.
God what was up with me? Nothing I just needed some sleep that's all. Now John was finally safe and back to normal I could rest.
"Gaia where were you?" Chas asked concern in his voice.
I looked away. How could I tell him the truth... Then again how couldn't I tell him the truth?
I looked into his beautiful eyes seeing the man I had fallen in love with and it pained me it truly did. Knowing what I had done with Murphy... It wasn't just meaningless sex with a stranger. It was dirty... I'm pretty sure there was handcuffs involved and some bite marks concealed on my body.
"I was with Murphy." I said walking into the bathroom.
I closed and locked the door behind me, turning on the path undressing and getting into the scolding water as it ran.
John was safe just as I had wanted. I had won the battle with Lucifer but was I losing the battle with myself?