Chapter 24
Since their drunken kiss, Legolas and Fëa had found being around one another very awkward. When Legolas finally found the courage to talk to her, things didn't quite go as he had planned.
"Fëa, can we talk?" he asked her, stopping her on the way to dinner. "We need to sort things out." She nodded her head.
"I agree," she said. "Things are difficult, aren't they?"
"I want to apologise. It shouldn't have happened."
"Don't, Legolas, please. It wasn't you, it was me, I instigated it. You didn't do anything wrong."
"We were both drunk and I don't think either of us really knew what we were doing. But I still feel terrible. I feel like I've used you as a rebound."
"No, I refuse to believe that. It was simply a mist-" She was cut off. His lips were on hers. She instinctively puled away, although she wished she hadn't.
"I'm sorry," he said, almost instantly. "I couldn't help it."
"You just took me by surprise," she said. They moved together and kissed once more. When they broke off, she smiled and he took her hand. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this happy. It was a wonderful feeling of elation that made her feel about 15 feet tall.
"Come on, we'd better go to dinner before people start worrying about us," he said.
"Well, they'll worry about you, I don't know about me." He smiled.
"Don't be silly. Of course they'll worry." They walked of down the corridor hand in hand.
Thranduil couldn't believe how happy his son looked when the couple entered. It was such a relief to see him smiling again. 'Thank you, Fëa,' he praised.
"Well, if we're all here now, then we shall begin," he announced.
The meal was going swimmingly. Everyone was happy, the food was delicious, all was well. Thranduil, having made his own assumptions about the situation between Legolas and Fëa, questioned his son. He was delighted when his suspicions were confirmed, and even more so when Legolas agreed to have it announced. So, when the meal was ended, Thranduil stood up.
"May I have your attention?" he called. A hush fell over the dinner hall, but before he could say another word, a very excited servant came bursting through the doors, grinning maniacally.
"MY LORD! MY LORD!" he cried. "You have another guest!" Thranduil looked irritated and he sighed.
"Can't it wait?"
"No, my lord, they were most insistent and I would agree that you should let them in here now." Thranduil sighed again and wearily nodded his head.
"Very well, show them in."
"There's no need, I know my way around." Every head turned to the doorway once more. Silva walked in. "Sorry I'm late." She smiled warmly as she walked into the centre of the room.
"Silva?" asked Thranduil, not daring to believe she was actually alive.
"Vedui, aredhelamin1," she replied. "Nae saian luumë. Amin naa nyér2."
"Vaquet! Yendënya! Cormamin lindua ala lle! Yallumë, lle entulessë3!" he cried. He stood up and almost ran to her, embracing her joyfully. All thoughts of Legolas and Fëa left his mind.
"I didn't realise I would be so missed," she laughed.
"You were thought to be dead, Silva," he said. "You've been missing for a year and a half with not a word to anyone. How could we not miss you?" She became serious.
"I should not have left the way I did, but I had no other choice. I am sorry for the grief I have caused. But, over the passed 18 months, I have undergone many changes, not all for the better. I am no longer the woman I used to be."
"Well, I will agree that you have changed. You look different." It was true, physically she had changed, as well as mentally. She looked older and more mature now. She appeared to have aged greatly, though only gaining a few years in her looks. The wisdom of her years was very apparent. She seemed to a gained a new, inner strength, as well as lost much of her former. She appeared to be the same woman and yet a completely new one. And there was some sort of fault in her manner. She wasn't quite her usual self. There seemed to be a great sadness inside her.
"If you will have me back after the grievances I have caused, then I will be very grateful to you. I do not deserve such an honour, and I will understand if you say no." Thranduil opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off.
"Why should we take you back?" Everyone looked at the brave and stupid person who had dared to 1) interrupt the King and 2) reject Silva. They were all gobsmacked and horrified to see Legolas standing, glaring at his former lover. "After leaving the way you did, breaking the hearts of all who loved you, what makes you think we'd have you back?"
"Legolas, sit down," growled Thranduil.
"No, it's all right, my lord," Silva said, calmly. "Let him speak his opinion. Continue, Prince Legolas, grace us with your wise words. Tell me what's really in that heart of yours." She met his steely glare with an ice cold one of her own.
"Not a single word to anyone, not even your sisters. Do you know how distraught they were? They blamed themselves for your disappearance because the peace had not been made between you. I also blamed myself because I was the last person to see you." He pushed the surfacing flashbacks out of his mind, they would not help matters. She had evoked a burning anger inside him that he never even knew existed. And, to her surprise, she wasn't upset by it, he merely angered her in his turn. "But now you return and expect everyone to fall at your feet and praise you."
"Well, I must say I am shocked, but only by one person. That being the one who supposedly loved me. The one who loved me SO much, he has given his heart to another. Do you know what, Legolas? Fëa can have you, for all I care. I'm sure you'll make a lovely couple." There was a communal gasp from the onlookers and the "Fëa" was muttered all around. The Elf maiden herself blushed deeply. For the moment, it crossed no one's mind as to how she knew.
"The day you left, you took my heart with you. And with everyday that passed, you shredded it into smaller and smaller pieces. Over the centuries I've known her, Fëa has never hurt me in anyway, and I don't believe she ever will. She has begun to restore faith in me concerning matters of the heart."
"Well, whoopee doo for Fëa!" she hissed sarcastically. (E/N: I know its out of place, but I just had to put it in! Its such a typical Silva kind of comment, I'm sure you all don't mind!) Their voices were growing steadily louder.
"You're bitter, Silvawen! Stop holding onto the past and have nothing more to do with us! Get on with your own life!"
"HOW CAN I?!?!?!?! You're the f-" She stopped. That was too close. She had to get away before she really said it. 'No on must know.'
"I'm the what?" He was intrigued to know what she had almost said.
"I've said enough." And with that. She turned on her heel and marched angrily out of the room.
When she got outside, she had the insuppressible urge to break something, but before she had a chance, Thranduil came after her.
"Silva-" he began, but she wouldn't let him continue.
"Don't apologise, please," she said. "I probably deserved that after everything I've done to you all."
"No, you didn't deserve that," he said. "I will be having serious words with my son later. I do not know what has gotten into him."
"Thranduil, don't be so blind. Even I know it is I that has got him so riled, and its understandable. He now basically has to chose between Fëa and myself. I wouldn't like that choice. But whilst he makes it, I will be in Rivendell. My sisters have yet to learn of my return."
"If you must go, then you must., but promise me you will return."
"I promise I'll return. Believe, I am now bound to Mirkwood in a way that you would never guess." 'You're the grandfather of my child.'
"Well, before you leave, will you answer me one thing?"
"It depends on the question," she replied.
"Where have you been?" She smiled. That question had been inevitable.
"I can't tell you. I'm sorry. If you knew, the person with me would lose your friendship, I cannot do that to them."
"You were not alone? Someone was with you?"
"Two people knew my whereabouts for the passed few months, one of whom I became so close to I would call them my best friend. But, please, ask me no more on the subject."
"Very well. I will let you now return to your sisters. I look forward to our nest meeting when I hope you will be staying for good."
"I will." She embraced him tightly. "You are now like a father to me, regardless of the current situation with Legolas. I will be back to stay in a few months time." With a last peck on the cheek, she left him. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall. He sighed and then his fists involuntarily clenched as he thought of his sons behaviour. He stormed back into the dinner hall.
"Legolas, I want to see you in my study, NOW!"
*****
Rath sat on the back of her horse, Kathred, and wept. She still refused to believe that Silva was dead but she'd been gone for over a year and a half and not a single person in all of Middle Earth (as far as she was aware) had seen her. The odds were not good.
She was currently on the borders of Rivendell, preparing to enter and inform her sisters that there was still nothing. She refused to let them see her cry, however, so she was letting herself calm down. As she did, out of the corner of her arctic green eyes, she spotted someone riding towards her, in the distance, with great haste. They were alone, so it was unlikely to be an attack, but she decided to ride forth and warn Elrond, just in case.
Arian was there to greet her, gravely, when she rode into the courtyard.
"Anything?" she asked. Rath shook her head miserably.
"But someone approaches," she said. "I don't know who, but I thought you should be told immediately. They are about fifteen minutes ride behind me. They will be here shortly.
"I'll tell Lord Elrond."
Ten minutes later, Elrond, Elrohir, Elladan, Arian, Nilia, Rath and Riel stood at the top of the steps leading down to the courtyard, awaiting the arrival.
"It is likely to only be a messenger," said Rath. "But my heart does not trust to assumptions. I apologise in advance if this is a waste of time." The sound of hooves grew in their ears. A large, black stallion rode through the gates, bearing a hooded rider. Looks of confusion crossed everyone's faces as the rider dismounted. They turned to the perplexed crowd. Two hands slowly lifted up to the hood and pulled it back...
"SILVAWEN!!!" cried the four sisters in unison. Rath was the first to run down the steps. She stopped in front of Silva and stared for a moment. Then, without any warning, she slapped Silva hard.
"Have you ANY idea how frantic we've been?!?!" she yelled, nearly in tears. "A year and a half! A YEAR AND A HALF!!!! WHAT POSSESSED YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!? " Silva stood in silence, holding her sore cheek gently.
"I'm so sorry," she eventually said. Rath then shocked them all by flinging her arms around Silva's neck and sobbing joyfully.
"I'm so happy you're back!!!" Silva, startled as she was, began to laugh and returned the hug wholeheartedly.
"I'm glad to be back." The other three sisters joined them, also crying. Elrond and the twins smiled at the joyous reunion.
"I think that our cue to leave," said Elrond.
"Let us leave them," said Elladan.
*****
The five rejoined sisters sat in the empty Hall of Fire. Arian, Nilia, Rath and Riel were full of questions that Silva couldn't answer.
"Where've you been?!" asked Riel, Silva had been awaiting it.
"I can't tell you," she replied. "All I will say is I made an unexpected friend and you basically found me many times, Rath."
"That doesn't help at all since I scoured all of Middle Earth," laughed Rath.
"I would have thought you'd be glad to see me go," said Silva.
"But that's the point, Silva, we didn't see you go," said Arian. "You left us all wondering whether you were still alive. You broke our hearts." Silva scowled.
"Don't you start," she growled. "I've had enough of that from him."
"Who's him?" asked Nilia. Rath raised an eyebrow.
"Who do you think?" she said, sarcastically.
"Legolas and I had an argument that almost ended tragically," said Silva. Arian gasped.
"Oh my goodness, what did he do to you?!" she cried.
"I didn't mean like that," said Silva, rolling her eyes. "What I meant was that I nearly said something that most never be told unless rules should change." The sisters were very confused as to what she meant by this.
"And that was?" asked Riel.
"I cannot tell you, for you would see reason to speak up about it." She hung her head. "I wish I could tell you. I wish I could tell him. I wish all who need to know, could know, but they simply can't." 'I'm a mother, dammit!!!' she screamed in her head. 'And a bad one at that! I've left my son amongst people I hate, to return to the one I love, who no longer loves me. My life is a shambles. My love life is in ruins. My son's life is destroyed, thanks to me.' With that last thought, the walls of her strength, the foundations of her courage, the castle of her heart came crashing down, crushing her with emotion.
"Silva, can I talk to you for a moment, privately?" said Rath. Without waiting for a response, she grabbed Silva's hand and dragged her from the room. She didn't stop until they reached and empty study. When inside, she slammed the door behind her and locked it. She turned to Silva.
"A MOTHER?!?!?!?!?!?"
*****
1Greetings, my lord. 2It has been too long. I am sorry. 3No! My daughter! My heart sings to see you! At last, you return!
E/N: I took 'the castle of her heart' from a poem by Nikki (Dragon Princess Nikki) on fictionpress.net. I thought it was really appropriate for the situation, so I hope you don't mind, hunni! *hugz* luv ya!
Since their drunken kiss, Legolas and Fëa had found being around one another very awkward. When Legolas finally found the courage to talk to her, things didn't quite go as he had planned.
"Fëa, can we talk?" he asked her, stopping her on the way to dinner. "We need to sort things out." She nodded her head.
"I agree," she said. "Things are difficult, aren't they?"
"I want to apologise. It shouldn't have happened."
"Don't, Legolas, please. It wasn't you, it was me, I instigated it. You didn't do anything wrong."
"We were both drunk and I don't think either of us really knew what we were doing. But I still feel terrible. I feel like I've used you as a rebound."
"No, I refuse to believe that. It was simply a mist-" She was cut off. His lips were on hers. She instinctively puled away, although she wished she hadn't.
"I'm sorry," he said, almost instantly. "I couldn't help it."
"You just took me by surprise," she said. They moved together and kissed once more. When they broke off, she smiled and he took her hand. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this happy. It was a wonderful feeling of elation that made her feel about 15 feet tall.
"Come on, we'd better go to dinner before people start worrying about us," he said.
"Well, they'll worry about you, I don't know about me." He smiled.
"Don't be silly. Of course they'll worry." They walked of down the corridor hand in hand.
Thranduil couldn't believe how happy his son looked when the couple entered. It was such a relief to see him smiling again. 'Thank you, Fëa,' he praised.
"Well, if we're all here now, then we shall begin," he announced.
The meal was going swimmingly. Everyone was happy, the food was delicious, all was well. Thranduil, having made his own assumptions about the situation between Legolas and Fëa, questioned his son. He was delighted when his suspicions were confirmed, and even more so when Legolas agreed to have it announced. So, when the meal was ended, Thranduil stood up.
"May I have your attention?" he called. A hush fell over the dinner hall, but before he could say another word, a very excited servant came bursting through the doors, grinning maniacally.
"MY LORD! MY LORD!" he cried. "You have another guest!" Thranduil looked irritated and he sighed.
"Can't it wait?"
"No, my lord, they were most insistent and I would agree that you should let them in here now." Thranduil sighed again and wearily nodded his head.
"Very well, show them in."
"There's no need, I know my way around." Every head turned to the doorway once more. Silva walked in. "Sorry I'm late." She smiled warmly as she walked into the centre of the room.
"Silva?" asked Thranduil, not daring to believe she was actually alive.
"Vedui, aredhelamin1," she replied. "Nae saian luumë. Amin naa nyér2."
"Vaquet! Yendënya! Cormamin lindua ala lle! Yallumë, lle entulessë3!" he cried. He stood up and almost ran to her, embracing her joyfully. All thoughts of Legolas and Fëa left his mind.
"I didn't realise I would be so missed," she laughed.
"You were thought to be dead, Silva," he said. "You've been missing for a year and a half with not a word to anyone. How could we not miss you?" She became serious.
"I should not have left the way I did, but I had no other choice. I am sorry for the grief I have caused. But, over the passed 18 months, I have undergone many changes, not all for the better. I am no longer the woman I used to be."
"Well, I will agree that you have changed. You look different." It was true, physically she had changed, as well as mentally. She looked older and more mature now. She appeared to have aged greatly, though only gaining a few years in her looks. The wisdom of her years was very apparent. She seemed to a gained a new, inner strength, as well as lost much of her former. She appeared to be the same woman and yet a completely new one. And there was some sort of fault in her manner. She wasn't quite her usual self. There seemed to be a great sadness inside her.
"If you will have me back after the grievances I have caused, then I will be very grateful to you. I do not deserve such an honour, and I will understand if you say no." Thranduil opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off.
"Why should we take you back?" Everyone looked at the brave and stupid person who had dared to 1) interrupt the King and 2) reject Silva. They were all gobsmacked and horrified to see Legolas standing, glaring at his former lover. "After leaving the way you did, breaking the hearts of all who loved you, what makes you think we'd have you back?"
"Legolas, sit down," growled Thranduil.
"No, it's all right, my lord," Silva said, calmly. "Let him speak his opinion. Continue, Prince Legolas, grace us with your wise words. Tell me what's really in that heart of yours." She met his steely glare with an ice cold one of her own.
"Not a single word to anyone, not even your sisters. Do you know how distraught they were? They blamed themselves for your disappearance because the peace had not been made between you. I also blamed myself because I was the last person to see you." He pushed the surfacing flashbacks out of his mind, they would not help matters. She had evoked a burning anger inside him that he never even knew existed. And, to her surprise, she wasn't upset by it, he merely angered her in his turn. "But now you return and expect everyone to fall at your feet and praise you."
"Well, I must say I am shocked, but only by one person. That being the one who supposedly loved me. The one who loved me SO much, he has given his heart to another. Do you know what, Legolas? Fëa can have you, for all I care. I'm sure you'll make a lovely couple." There was a communal gasp from the onlookers and the "Fëa" was muttered all around. The Elf maiden herself blushed deeply. For the moment, it crossed no one's mind as to how she knew.
"The day you left, you took my heart with you. And with everyday that passed, you shredded it into smaller and smaller pieces. Over the centuries I've known her, Fëa has never hurt me in anyway, and I don't believe she ever will. She has begun to restore faith in me concerning matters of the heart."
"Well, whoopee doo for Fëa!" she hissed sarcastically. (E/N: I know its out of place, but I just had to put it in! Its such a typical Silva kind of comment, I'm sure you all don't mind!) Their voices were growing steadily louder.
"You're bitter, Silvawen! Stop holding onto the past and have nothing more to do with us! Get on with your own life!"
"HOW CAN I?!?!?!?! You're the f-" She stopped. That was too close. She had to get away before she really said it. 'No on must know.'
"I'm the what?" He was intrigued to know what she had almost said.
"I've said enough." And with that. She turned on her heel and marched angrily out of the room.
When she got outside, she had the insuppressible urge to break something, but before she had a chance, Thranduil came after her.
"Silva-" he began, but she wouldn't let him continue.
"Don't apologise, please," she said. "I probably deserved that after everything I've done to you all."
"No, you didn't deserve that," he said. "I will be having serious words with my son later. I do not know what has gotten into him."
"Thranduil, don't be so blind. Even I know it is I that has got him so riled, and its understandable. He now basically has to chose between Fëa and myself. I wouldn't like that choice. But whilst he makes it, I will be in Rivendell. My sisters have yet to learn of my return."
"If you must go, then you must., but promise me you will return."
"I promise I'll return. Believe, I am now bound to Mirkwood in a way that you would never guess." 'You're the grandfather of my child.'
"Well, before you leave, will you answer me one thing?"
"It depends on the question," she replied.
"Where have you been?" She smiled. That question had been inevitable.
"I can't tell you. I'm sorry. If you knew, the person with me would lose your friendship, I cannot do that to them."
"You were not alone? Someone was with you?"
"Two people knew my whereabouts for the passed few months, one of whom I became so close to I would call them my best friend. But, please, ask me no more on the subject."
"Very well. I will let you now return to your sisters. I look forward to our nest meeting when I hope you will be staying for good."
"I will." She embraced him tightly. "You are now like a father to me, regardless of the current situation with Legolas. I will be back to stay in a few months time." With a last peck on the cheek, she left him. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall. He sighed and then his fists involuntarily clenched as he thought of his sons behaviour. He stormed back into the dinner hall.
"Legolas, I want to see you in my study, NOW!"
*****
Rath sat on the back of her horse, Kathred, and wept. She still refused to believe that Silva was dead but she'd been gone for over a year and a half and not a single person in all of Middle Earth (as far as she was aware) had seen her. The odds were not good.
She was currently on the borders of Rivendell, preparing to enter and inform her sisters that there was still nothing. She refused to let them see her cry, however, so she was letting herself calm down. As she did, out of the corner of her arctic green eyes, she spotted someone riding towards her, in the distance, with great haste. They were alone, so it was unlikely to be an attack, but she decided to ride forth and warn Elrond, just in case.
Arian was there to greet her, gravely, when she rode into the courtyard.
"Anything?" she asked. Rath shook her head miserably.
"But someone approaches," she said. "I don't know who, but I thought you should be told immediately. They are about fifteen minutes ride behind me. They will be here shortly.
"I'll tell Lord Elrond."
Ten minutes later, Elrond, Elrohir, Elladan, Arian, Nilia, Rath and Riel stood at the top of the steps leading down to the courtyard, awaiting the arrival.
"It is likely to only be a messenger," said Rath. "But my heart does not trust to assumptions. I apologise in advance if this is a waste of time." The sound of hooves grew in their ears. A large, black stallion rode through the gates, bearing a hooded rider. Looks of confusion crossed everyone's faces as the rider dismounted. They turned to the perplexed crowd. Two hands slowly lifted up to the hood and pulled it back...
"SILVAWEN!!!" cried the four sisters in unison. Rath was the first to run down the steps. She stopped in front of Silva and stared for a moment. Then, without any warning, she slapped Silva hard.
"Have you ANY idea how frantic we've been?!?!" she yelled, nearly in tears. "A year and a half! A YEAR AND A HALF!!!! WHAT POSSESSED YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!? " Silva stood in silence, holding her sore cheek gently.
"I'm so sorry," she eventually said. Rath then shocked them all by flinging her arms around Silva's neck and sobbing joyfully.
"I'm so happy you're back!!!" Silva, startled as she was, began to laugh and returned the hug wholeheartedly.
"I'm glad to be back." The other three sisters joined them, also crying. Elrond and the twins smiled at the joyous reunion.
"I think that our cue to leave," said Elrond.
"Let us leave them," said Elladan.
*****
The five rejoined sisters sat in the empty Hall of Fire. Arian, Nilia, Rath and Riel were full of questions that Silva couldn't answer.
"Where've you been?!" asked Riel, Silva had been awaiting it.
"I can't tell you," she replied. "All I will say is I made an unexpected friend and you basically found me many times, Rath."
"That doesn't help at all since I scoured all of Middle Earth," laughed Rath.
"I would have thought you'd be glad to see me go," said Silva.
"But that's the point, Silva, we didn't see you go," said Arian. "You left us all wondering whether you were still alive. You broke our hearts." Silva scowled.
"Don't you start," she growled. "I've had enough of that from him."
"Who's him?" asked Nilia. Rath raised an eyebrow.
"Who do you think?" she said, sarcastically.
"Legolas and I had an argument that almost ended tragically," said Silva. Arian gasped.
"Oh my goodness, what did he do to you?!" she cried.
"I didn't mean like that," said Silva, rolling her eyes. "What I meant was that I nearly said something that most never be told unless rules should change." The sisters were very confused as to what she meant by this.
"And that was?" asked Riel.
"I cannot tell you, for you would see reason to speak up about it." She hung her head. "I wish I could tell you. I wish I could tell him. I wish all who need to know, could know, but they simply can't." 'I'm a mother, dammit!!!' she screamed in her head. 'And a bad one at that! I've left my son amongst people I hate, to return to the one I love, who no longer loves me. My life is a shambles. My love life is in ruins. My son's life is destroyed, thanks to me.' With that last thought, the walls of her strength, the foundations of her courage, the castle of her heart came crashing down, crushing her with emotion.
"Silva, can I talk to you for a moment, privately?" said Rath. Without waiting for a response, she grabbed Silva's hand and dragged her from the room. She didn't stop until they reached and empty study. When inside, she slammed the door behind her and locked it. She turned to Silva.
"A MOTHER?!?!?!?!?!?"
*****
1Greetings, my lord. 2It has been too long. I am sorry. 3No! My daughter! My heart sings to see you! At last, you return!
E/N: I took 'the castle of her heart' from a poem by Nikki (Dragon Princess Nikki) on fictionpress.net. I thought it was really appropriate for the situation, so I hope you don't mind, hunni! *hugz* luv ya!