E/N: WARNING: In this chapter there is depression and references to self
harm. I know some people don't like reading about this sort of thing so I
though I should warn you in advance. If you are one of those people, please
skip either the chapter or the parts of which I am talking about. Flames
will be mocked and disregarded.
Ok, now then, I know I haven't done reviewer notes for, like, months and months, but I feel that they are necessary at the moment with everything that is going on. You all have so many questions; I can't just leave you without answers. A lot of your questions are the same; so don't feel offended if I just tell you to refer back to someone else's response. Anyway, here goes:
Bekky: I don't know if you've read The Silmarillion or not, and if you haven't, you probably won't know about Beren and Luthien. If you have, then ok, but I'll try to briefly explain it anyway. Beren was a mortal man and Luthien was an Elf, well, half-elf. Her mother was Istari, Melian, and her father was an Elf, Thingol. Basically they met and fell in love (which is then sort of repeated thousands and thousands of years later with Aragorn and Arwen, though its not quite the same) and lots of bad and good things happened because of it. Eventually they both died and a law was then made that Istari and Elves could not marry or have children from then on so that history would not be repeated. So you see, Legolas and Silva are breaking laws probably by just being together in the first place, but definitely by having a child together. Of course, the Valar probably know anyway because they are gods and know everything, but that is defeating the object. Kemenhin must be kept a secret so that the Valar don't find out. I hope that answers your question.
Mojo: Yes, I do have a thing for getting people pregnant, I actually thought of that myself the other day and I started to giggle. Hey, what can I say; I have no original ideas to use! ^_^
Nikki: For some of your answers, see Bekky's response. In fact, for all of your answers, see her response, since the same thing answers them all. Hmmmmmmm, well, this is no fun. I got nothing to say to you. Ooh, I know! I still haven't had the damn letter!!! When did she send it? If it was Monday, I'm meant to be getting it toady, but if she sent it Tuesday I'll get to tomorrow. Oh well!
Ok, you can all go and read the chapter now! I hope this is to your liking. This happens to be my favourite chapter that I've EVER written for anything. It's very good, not that I'm boasting or anything. ^_~
Chapter 25
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN MOTHER?!?!?! How can you be a mother?! You can't be a mother! You're not allowed! Not with him! It's not allowed! Oh gods, we're in trouble! They are going to find out and we'll be exiled! We'll be fallen spirits! OH NO! We could be executed! Not only you'll be in trouble, but all of us! Especially me! I'm meant to be the leader of this little outfit! And I let one of my girls get pregnant! PREGNANT! And by an ELF!!! They're never going to let me back in now! OH NO! I'll never see Metrion again! Oh, this is bad! This is really bad! Ok, right, who knows?! No one can know! We've go to kill whoever knows! Does he know?!"
"Of course not, halfwit! Do you really think I'm that stupid?!"
"You have a son whose father is an Elf."
"I didn't plan it!" Rath wasn't listening.
"We've got to get rid of the kid! Kidnap him and ship him back home! But what if they kill him?! No, they wouldn't, that can't happen! He's got to go, so have you! Leave now! Leave with the kid, never come back! Go and appeal to Lady Yavanna's better side! She'll get you out of it!"
"I've ruined enough lives, I'm not going to just leave them to deal with it. I'm not going to do anything." She sat down and put her head in her hands. Her shoulders shook as she cried.
"Look, this may be your kid, but it's my life!" And with that, Rath fainted, leaving Silva defenseless against her rapidly increasing spiral downward to post-natal depression.
*****
"How could you be so cold-hearted?! I though you loved her!" cried Thranduil, angrily.
"Look at all the grief she has caused!" said Legolas, defensively.
"For which she has apologised!"
"So she says."
"You said she was your soulmate!"
"SHE IS!!! And that's exactly why I have no idea what to do! If I leave and go after her, I'll lose Fëa. If I stay, I'll lose Silva. I don't know which one means more to me."
"Stupid boy! Of course its your- wait one cotton picking minute here! How did she know?" Legolas gave his father an odd but curious look.
"How did who know what?"
"How did Silva know about you and Fëa?"
"She must have heard you say..."
"...say nothing at all. I was interrupted after I asked for silence. I wasn't given the chance to continue. She couldn't have heard anything."
"Well, how did she know then?"
"I don't know, that's why I asked you... is she psychic?"
"No, she would have told me. And she doesn't have visions either. But how else could she have known? No one could have told her for no one knew except me, you and Fëa."
"She must have seen it."
"But I've already told you-"
"She must have seen it using either the Palantír or the Mirror of Galadriel."
"Oh. Well, we can rule out the Palantír as she would not use such a dark tool with so many risks. So-"
"-it must have been the Mirror, which means-"
"-she was in Lórien." They stared at one another as if the idea was totally ludicrous. But it made sense. There was logic behind it.
"I'm/you're going to Lórien," they said together.
"I'm going to find out why she ran away, even if it kills me," said Legolas, sternly.
"What shall I tell Fëa?" Legolas sighed. There was always something to complicate matters.
"Tell her I've followed my heart and that I'm sorry." Thranduil nodded and embraced his son.
"Lava Tel'Valar tirin or ar varya lle1. Now go, and don't come back until everything is sorted out."
*****
"Am I alone in noticing a sudden change in Silva?" asked Arian, concernedly. "I'm really worried for her health. She's barely eating, from the looks of her, she's barely sleeping either. Why is she suddenly so depressed?" Arian, Rath and Riel sat huddled together in the kitchen next to a warm fire.
"Well, it's obviously Legolas, isn't it?" said Rath, harshly. "She loved him with everything she had. When she made one mistake, he rejected her and loved another. I'd react the same way if Metrion ever did that to me."
"Are you sure it's simply that?" asked Riel. "With everyday, she seems to get more and more withdrawn. She rarely speaks to anyone anymore, and when she does it rarely makes sense." They sat in silence and listened to the rain drum on the window pane. The night sky was quilted with black, angry looking clouds. And as they listened, they heard a sad voice, slowly lamenting:
"When all hope is gone, you put faith and trust in those who love you.
When all courage is conquered, you shelter in the arms of those who love you.
But when they are gone, what do you do?
When your strength is crushed, you are supported by those who love you.
When the fire of your spirit is burnt out, you are warmed by those who love you.
But when they are gone, where do you go?
A heart of ice and stone has replaced the one o once loved with.
Sorrow and grief weigh heavy on my heart as I think of that which is lost.
Alone, loveless, pain stricken, heart broken.
To knowingly and freely desert a loved one is to knowingly and freely lose faith in all that is good and offer oneself to Úmëa2."
The voice was coming from outside, which intrigued them all.
"That's so sad," whispered Riel.
"But it's coming from outside," said Arian. "Who would be mad enough to go..." They all looked at one another.
"SILVA!" cried another voice. "Silva, come in! You'll become ill! It's freezing and pouring down with rain! Silva, please come in!!!" Arian, Rath and Riel got up and ran to the nearest door, out into the pouring rain. Silva sat on the grass, dressed only in a white cotton shift, chanting to herself, rocking back and forth on her haunches. Nilia was standing over her, trying desperately to get her sister out of her trance. When nothing could be done, Rath marched over and picked up the unrelenting sister.
"Arian, get Lord Elrond, immediately," she ordered, rushing back to Silva's quarters. "I think she's gone mad."
*****
(E/N: This part is, again, some light comic relief for an otherwise dark chapter. Hope it lightens your spirits a little.)
Legolas rode full pelt towards the Golden Wood. The questions racing around his mind were tormenting him. He needed answers. On his last day of travelling, he didn't stop riding until he was halted by the sentinels.
"Halt!" commanded the leader. "Speak your name, quickly!"
"Legolas of Mirkwood," he replied. Haldir stepped forward.
"Mae govannen, Legolas Thranduilion3," he said.
"Vedui, Haldir o Lórien4," said Legolas. "I need to see the Lady Galadriel urgently."
"Regarding what?"
"Lady Silvawen."
"Huh, Lady."
"That comment will go unnoticed. Please, Haldir, this is very important."
"Very well, but I'm not going to accept any blame for this."
"If Lady Galadriel asks, I'll tell her I turned you into a pot plant!" His laughter rang out as he rode away, leaving Haldir scowling after him.
He rode right into the heart of Caras Galadhon, where he found the Lady Arwen awaiting him.
"Quel andumë5, Legolas," she said warmly. "Long has it been since our last meeting."
"Too long," he replied. They embraced.
"My grandmother is currently detained and sent me to greet you, for we were informed of your arrival. She should be here shortly."
"Very well. It was kind of you to greet me."
"It was a task I was most willing to take," she said with smile. "I am told Lady Silvawen has returned," she added innocently. Legolas' face darkened.
"Arwen, tell me truthfully, please. Was she here at any point, as far as you are aware? It may have been the whole time or perhaps only even a few days." Arwen lowered her gaze to the ground, guiltily.
"Yes, she was." Legolas sighed.
"Why did no one tell us?"
"Grandmother and I were the only ones who knew she was here. We were her only friends for a year and a half. She swore us to secrecy."
"But surely you knew how desperate we were? And Rath visited Lórien no less than five times, over the months."
"It was not a matter to be lightly discussed," said a third voice. Galadriel had joined the old friends.
"Why was she here then? Why choose this place, of all places?" asked Legolas.
"It is her place to tell you, not ours," said Galadriel. A pained expression crossed Arwen's face.
"But should he-" she began.
"It is not our place to tell," repeated Galadriel, more firmly.
"To tell me what?" asked Legolas, suspiciously.
"Arwen, may I speak to you for a moment, in private?" said Galadriel, taking her granddaughter off to the side, out of the Prince's hearing.
Legolas was confused, curious and irritated. So there was a serious reason as to why she had come to the Golden Wood. Why was it such a secret? But what was it? Surely he had a right to know. He desperately wanted to know. He looked over at the two arguing Elves and sighed. 'Well, they're going to take a while,' he thought. 'I might as well have something to eat, since I haven't done so for two days.' He turned around to retrieve something from his horse and received the shock of his life. In front of him sat a baby boy. 'What the....? Oh my Eru! A child. An actual child. Why on earth is there a child in the middle of Lórien, on his own, on the floor? Where did he come from? He wasn't there before. Why is he looking at me like that? Its like he knows me or something.... why do I recognise him? I haven't seen a child, let alone an Elven one, for nearly 700 years, so why does he look familiar? Actually, he doesn't even look completely Elven. He obviously has no blood ties with Lórien for he has dark hair. Arwen would have mentioned if it was anything to do with her. And he's got a sort of aura around him. Very much like Silva actu....'
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!" Galadriel and Arwen looked over at him angrily and then their expressions changed to ones of horror.
"Shit," they said together. (E/N: I know that's totally OOC and out of place, but it's the best way of describing their reaction! ^_^) Legolas began pointing wildly at Kemenhin.
"He... he... he... he's... he's... he's my...." He started pointing from himself to Kemenhin. "He's my... he... he... he's..." Arwen ran over to him and clamped a hand over his mouth and she dragged him away.
Galadriel stood staring at Kemenhin, confusedly. 'How did he get here? I put a shield of invisibility around him and one to stop him from leaving his crib...' She whined out loud. 'How and why do children do that? Now I remember why I only had the one.'
Several minutes later, she heard a VERY loud:
"I'M A DADDY!!!" Then there was the very sharp sound of a stinging slap and a yell of:
"WILL YOU KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN?!?!" Galadriel realised the problems that Legolas' newfound knowledge could cause, so, after hiding Kemenhin once more, she set off to find them.
Legolas was pacing back and forth nervously when she found them He was wringing his hands anxiously together and he looked very stressed.
"I'm a father," he kept repeating, over and over again. "But I can't be. I'm too young. I'm not even 1000 yet. My father still thinks of me as a child. I still think of me as a child. I can't be a father. OH NO! He's an illegal baby! What's going to happen to him? What's going to happen to Silva? WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME?!?!?!"
"Legolas, you have to calm down," said Arwen. "You need to think rationally."
"What's going to happen? He's not meant to be here. But he is. And me and Silva aren't meant to be together. But we sort of are. And I'm not meant to be a father. But I am. I have a child. We have a child. How can I leave him? How could she leave him?"
"She left him for you," said Galadriel. "And don't you know the rules? She couldn't exactly take him out in public, could she?"
"But he's just a child. How could she leave her own son?" Arwen slapped him again.
"Shut up and sit down," she ordered. Legolas quickly sat in a nearby chair. "Thank you. Now then, you have to listen very carefully...."
*****
Arian sat crying. Riel had her arm around her sister's shoulder, helplessly trying to comfort her.
"I just wish I knew why," she sobbed. Rath emerged from Silva's chamber bearing many sharp objects, including Tailltui, Silva's trusty sword, and two small daggers.
"There's nothing left in there that she could harm herself on. Nilia is binding her wounds," said Rath.
"Did she say anything?" asked Riel.
"She just keeps repeating that poem over and over again. Especially the last line."
"Why is she doing this? What has happed to make her so depressed?" wept Arian. Rath grimaced. As much as she hated to see Arian in this state and as much as they all deserved to know she had sworn to Silva that she wouldn't tell anyone, not even their sisters. But these events had not been foreseen when the promise had been made. Perhaps if she just told one of them, they could help her figure out what to do. Her thoughts were disturbed by Nilia leaving Silva's chamber, carrying bloodied bed linen. She too was crying, although she hastily wiped her tears away.
"I've bound her arms," she said. "And I've given her a sleeping remedy, for it was much needed."
"What will we do about her not eating?" queried Riel.
"We'll have to force feed her if she continues to refuse," stated Rath. "In her condition, she will not put up much of a fight."
"In her condition, she'll be dead in no more than a month," whispered Nilia. 'I can't tell them,' thought Rath. 'But this can't go on.' She sat down and put her head in her hands. She tried her hardest to keep her tears from flowing. 'I cannot break Silva's promise.' Her mind was in great turmoil.
Rath decided against telling her sisters because she didn't know what good it would do. It would only make Silva hate her when she got out if this depression.... if she got out of it.
Her own troubled mind was not helped by Silva's ill state, either. Because of their strong mind link, Rath had been suffering from terrible migraines. They were blindingly painful and often made her physically sick.
She sat watching Silva, silently lamenting the loss of the happy, dazzling sister that was once Silvawen. Somehow, over the months, she had seen that stunning, dark-haired beauty become a wraithlike ghost of a person. Her hair was lank and unwashed. She was thin and gaunt, her now ice- white skin stretched taut across her bones. Her eyes were wide, dark and sunken, glazed over as though she were in a constant reverie. Her forearms, which were no longer bound with linen bands, bore gruesome lacerations, reflecting the extent of her depression. How had it gotten this bad? Was she so neglected that she thought death was the only option? Again her thoughts were interrupted, but this time by raised voices outside the room.
"I want to see her, NOW," demanded one voice.
"I don't think that's wise. She's nothing like she used to be," said the second, anxiously.
"Arian, move out of my way. Let me see her!" Rath stood up and went to the door, flinging it open.
"You've got a nerve!" she growled. Legolas looked at her, quite shocked by her sudden apparition. She closed the door silently behind her. "What exactly do you think you are doing here?"
"I'm here to see Silvawen, as you well know," he said. "Elrond said she was seriously unwell, but he refused to tell me what was wrong."
"Thanks to you, she's dying," Rath hissed. Legolas' eyes widened in terror.
"Dying?" he echoed. "But... no... she can't be."
"See for yourself." Rath opened the door. As the three entered, Silva slowly turned her face to them. Legolas stopped dead in his tracks, horrified by what he saw.
"Silva?" There was nothing. Her eyes were completely devoid of any emotion, expression or even acknowledgement. He rushed to her side. "Silva? Silvawen? Talk to me, it is I, Legolas! Oh, my beautiful Silvawen, what has happened to you? What have I done?" He looked down and saw her bared arms. He gasped when he saw the slashes, marring her perfect skin. He cupped her face and then embraced her, receiving no response. He then lay her down, blinking back tears, and turned back to Arian and Rath.
"How long has she been like this?" he asked. "When did it begin?"
"Well, she wasn't her usual self, even when she returned," said Arian.
"What has that got to do with anything?" snapped Rath.
"She was not her usual self when she returned to Mirkwood, wither," he said, ignoring Rath's icy tone. He turned back to Silva. "Mankoi nar lle umë sina6?" he begged, as he stroked her face. There was a slight flicker of recognition behind her eyes as she heard the familiar Elven voice, but that was all it was. It was gone as quickly as it had appeared. He put his head in his hands.
"Does she never speak?" he eventually asked.
"She keeps repeating the same poem over and over again," said Arian. "It's about not having anyone to support you when you're at your lowest point. It then goes on to say something about how she used to love but no longer does."
" A heart of ice and stone has replaced the one o once loved with. Sorrow and grief weigh heavy on my heart as I think of that which is lost. Alone, loveless, pain stricken, heart broken. To knowingly and freely desert a loved one is to knowingly and freely lose faith in all that is good and offer oneself to Úmëa," quoted Rath. She had heard Silva repeat the poem countless times and consequently now knew it by heart, herself. "That is the end part."
"To knowingly and freely desert a loved one," echoed Legolas. 'Kemenhin,' he thought. 'She's pining for him. They should not have been separated so soon. She needs to be with him, and quickly.'
"I need to take her to Lórien," he said suddenly.
"What? Why?" asked Arian. Rath was just as startled as Arian by this, but mental bogs began to turn. 'Does he know? No, he can't,' she thought. 'How can he? She didn't tell him. But perhaps someone else did... no, Lady Galadriel would not do that. How then would he know? He simply couldn't. I'm just overreacting. He doesn't know. There's no way he could.'
"She is the most superior Elf in all Middle Earth, she may have the power to help Silva," he explained, thinking on his feet.
"But Nilia has already tried, and she is more powerful than any Elf," said Rath.
"But perhaps Lady Galadriel has knowledge that not even the Valar could have," he said. "And anything is worth a try. Now, will you let me take her, or do I have to take her by force?" Arian and Rath looked at one another.
"I'm going with you," said Rath.
"Very well. Go and prepare two horses. Arian, please dress Silva whilst I inform Lord Elrond of our decisions." He turned to Silva and planted a kiss on her forehead. "I will return for you, mirë en cormamin7," he vowed. He left the room with Rath. Just as she was about to turn down the corridor, he shocked her by taking her hand and squeezing it gently.
"She's going to be alright," he promised. She smiled back.
"I know."
*****
1May the Valar watch over and protect you. 2Evil. 3Well met, Legolas son of Thranduil. 4Greetings, Haldir of Lórien.. 5Good afternoon. 6Why are you doing this? 7Jewel of my heart.
Ok, now then, I know I haven't done reviewer notes for, like, months and months, but I feel that they are necessary at the moment with everything that is going on. You all have so many questions; I can't just leave you without answers. A lot of your questions are the same; so don't feel offended if I just tell you to refer back to someone else's response. Anyway, here goes:
Bekky: I don't know if you've read The Silmarillion or not, and if you haven't, you probably won't know about Beren and Luthien. If you have, then ok, but I'll try to briefly explain it anyway. Beren was a mortal man and Luthien was an Elf, well, half-elf. Her mother was Istari, Melian, and her father was an Elf, Thingol. Basically they met and fell in love (which is then sort of repeated thousands and thousands of years later with Aragorn and Arwen, though its not quite the same) and lots of bad and good things happened because of it. Eventually they both died and a law was then made that Istari and Elves could not marry or have children from then on so that history would not be repeated. So you see, Legolas and Silva are breaking laws probably by just being together in the first place, but definitely by having a child together. Of course, the Valar probably know anyway because they are gods and know everything, but that is defeating the object. Kemenhin must be kept a secret so that the Valar don't find out. I hope that answers your question.
Mojo: Yes, I do have a thing for getting people pregnant, I actually thought of that myself the other day and I started to giggle. Hey, what can I say; I have no original ideas to use! ^_^
Nikki: For some of your answers, see Bekky's response. In fact, for all of your answers, see her response, since the same thing answers them all. Hmmmmmmm, well, this is no fun. I got nothing to say to you. Ooh, I know! I still haven't had the damn letter!!! When did she send it? If it was Monday, I'm meant to be getting it toady, but if she sent it Tuesday I'll get to tomorrow. Oh well!
Ok, you can all go and read the chapter now! I hope this is to your liking. This happens to be my favourite chapter that I've EVER written for anything. It's very good, not that I'm boasting or anything. ^_~
Chapter 25
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN MOTHER?!?!?! How can you be a mother?! You can't be a mother! You're not allowed! Not with him! It's not allowed! Oh gods, we're in trouble! They are going to find out and we'll be exiled! We'll be fallen spirits! OH NO! We could be executed! Not only you'll be in trouble, but all of us! Especially me! I'm meant to be the leader of this little outfit! And I let one of my girls get pregnant! PREGNANT! And by an ELF!!! They're never going to let me back in now! OH NO! I'll never see Metrion again! Oh, this is bad! This is really bad! Ok, right, who knows?! No one can know! We've go to kill whoever knows! Does he know?!"
"Of course not, halfwit! Do you really think I'm that stupid?!"
"You have a son whose father is an Elf."
"I didn't plan it!" Rath wasn't listening.
"We've got to get rid of the kid! Kidnap him and ship him back home! But what if they kill him?! No, they wouldn't, that can't happen! He's got to go, so have you! Leave now! Leave with the kid, never come back! Go and appeal to Lady Yavanna's better side! She'll get you out of it!"
"I've ruined enough lives, I'm not going to just leave them to deal with it. I'm not going to do anything." She sat down and put her head in her hands. Her shoulders shook as she cried.
"Look, this may be your kid, but it's my life!" And with that, Rath fainted, leaving Silva defenseless against her rapidly increasing spiral downward to post-natal depression.
*****
"How could you be so cold-hearted?! I though you loved her!" cried Thranduil, angrily.
"Look at all the grief she has caused!" said Legolas, defensively.
"For which she has apologised!"
"So she says."
"You said she was your soulmate!"
"SHE IS!!! And that's exactly why I have no idea what to do! If I leave and go after her, I'll lose Fëa. If I stay, I'll lose Silva. I don't know which one means more to me."
"Stupid boy! Of course its your- wait one cotton picking minute here! How did she know?" Legolas gave his father an odd but curious look.
"How did who know what?"
"How did Silva know about you and Fëa?"
"She must have heard you say..."
"...say nothing at all. I was interrupted after I asked for silence. I wasn't given the chance to continue. She couldn't have heard anything."
"Well, how did she know then?"
"I don't know, that's why I asked you... is she psychic?"
"No, she would have told me. And she doesn't have visions either. But how else could she have known? No one could have told her for no one knew except me, you and Fëa."
"She must have seen it."
"But I've already told you-"
"She must have seen it using either the Palantír or the Mirror of Galadriel."
"Oh. Well, we can rule out the Palantír as she would not use such a dark tool with so many risks. So-"
"-it must have been the Mirror, which means-"
"-she was in Lórien." They stared at one another as if the idea was totally ludicrous. But it made sense. There was logic behind it.
"I'm/you're going to Lórien," they said together.
"I'm going to find out why she ran away, even if it kills me," said Legolas, sternly.
"What shall I tell Fëa?" Legolas sighed. There was always something to complicate matters.
"Tell her I've followed my heart and that I'm sorry." Thranduil nodded and embraced his son.
"Lava Tel'Valar tirin or ar varya lle1. Now go, and don't come back until everything is sorted out."
*****
"Am I alone in noticing a sudden change in Silva?" asked Arian, concernedly. "I'm really worried for her health. She's barely eating, from the looks of her, she's barely sleeping either. Why is she suddenly so depressed?" Arian, Rath and Riel sat huddled together in the kitchen next to a warm fire.
"Well, it's obviously Legolas, isn't it?" said Rath, harshly. "She loved him with everything she had. When she made one mistake, he rejected her and loved another. I'd react the same way if Metrion ever did that to me."
"Are you sure it's simply that?" asked Riel. "With everyday, she seems to get more and more withdrawn. She rarely speaks to anyone anymore, and when she does it rarely makes sense." They sat in silence and listened to the rain drum on the window pane. The night sky was quilted with black, angry looking clouds. And as they listened, they heard a sad voice, slowly lamenting:
"When all hope is gone, you put faith and trust in those who love you.
When all courage is conquered, you shelter in the arms of those who love you.
But when they are gone, what do you do?
When your strength is crushed, you are supported by those who love you.
When the fire of your spirit is burnt out, you are warmed by those who love you.
But when they are gone, where do you go?
A heart of ice and stone has replaced the one o once loved with.
Sorrow and grief weigh heavy on my heart as I think of that which is lost.
Alone, loveless, pain stricken, heart broken.
To knowingly and freely desert a loved one is to knowingly and freely lose faith in all that is good and offer oneself to Úmëa2."
The voice was coming from outside, which intrigued them all.
"That's so sad," whispered Riel.
"But it's coming from outside," said Arian. "Who would be mad enough to go..." They all looked at one another.
"SILVA!" cried another voice. "Silva, come in! You'll become ill! It's freezing and pouring down with rain! Silva, please come in!!!" Arian, Rath and Riel got up and ran to the nearest door, out into the pouring rain. Silva sat on the grass, dressed only in a white cotton shift, chanting to herself, rocking back and forth on her haunches. Nilia was standing over her, trying desperately to get her sister out of her trance. When nothing could be done, Rath marched over and picked up the unrelenting sister.
"Arian, get Lord Elrond, immediately," she ordered, rushing back to Silva's quarters. "I think she's gone mad."
*****
(E/N: This part is, again, some light comic relief for an otherwise dark chapter. Hope it lightens your spirits a little.)
Legolas rode full pelt towards the Golden Wood. The questions racing around his mind were tormenting him. He needed answers. On his last day of travelling, he didn't stop riding until he was halted by the sentinels.
"Halt!" commanded the leader. "Speak your name, quickly!"
"Legolas of Mirkwood," he replied. Haldir stepped forward.
"Mae govannen, Legolas Thranduilion3," he said.
"Vedui, Haldir o Lórien4," said Legolas. "I need to see the Lady Galadriel urgently."
"Regarding what?"
"Lady Silvawen."
"Huh, Lady."
"That comment will go unnoticed. Please, Haldir, this is very important."
"Very well, but I'm not going to accept any blame for this."
"If Lady Galadriel asks, I'll tell her I turned you into a pot plant!" His laughter rang out as he rode away, leaving Haldir scowling after him.
He rode right into the heart of Caras Galadhon, where he found the Lady Arwen awaiting him.
"Quel andumë5, Legolas," she said warmly. "Long has it been since our last meeting."
"Too long," he replied. They embraced.
"My grandmother is currently detained and sent me to greet you, for we were informed of your arrival. She should be here shortly."
"Very well. It was kind of you to greet me."
"It was a task I was most willing to take," she said with smile. "I am told Lady Silvawen has returned," she added innocently. Legolas' face darkened.
"Arwen, tell me truthfully, please. Was she here at any point, as far as you are aware? It may have been the whole time or perhaps only even a few days." Arwen lowered her gaze to the ground, guiltily.
"Yes, she was." Legolas sighed.
"Why did no one tell us?"
"Grandmother and I were the only ones who knew she was here. We were her only friends for a year and a half. She swore us to secrecy."
"But surely you knew how desperate we were? And Rath visited Lórien no less than five times, over the months."
"It was not a matter to be lightly discussed," said a third voice. Galadriel had joined the old friends.
"Why was she here then? Why choose this place, of all places?" asked Legolas.
"It is her place to tell you, not ours," said Galadriel. A pained expression crossed Arwen's face.
"But should he-" she began.
"It is not our place to tell," repeated Galadriel, more firmly.
"To tell me what?" asked Legolas, suspiciously.
"Arwen, may I speak to you for a moment, in private?" said Galadriel, taking her granddaughter off to the side, out of the Prince's hearing.
Legolas was confused, curious and irritated. So there was a serious reason as to why she had come to the Golden Wood. Why was it such a secret? But what was it? Surely he had a right to know. He desperately wanted to know. He looked over at the two arguing Elves and sighed. 'Well, they're going to take a while,' he thought. 'I might as well have something to eat, since I haven't done so for two days.' He turned around to retrieve something from his horse and received the shock of his life. In front of him sat a baby boy. 'What the....? Oh my Eru! A child. An actual child. Why on earth is there a child in the middle of Lórien, on his own, on the floor? Where did he come from? He wasn't there before. Why is he looking at me like that? Its like he knows me or something.... why do I recognise him? I haven't seen a child, let alone an Elven one, for nearly 700 years, so why does he look familiar? Actually, he doesn't even look completely Elven. He obviously has no blood ties with Lórien for he has dark hair. Arwen would have mentioned if it was anything to do with her. And he's got a sort of aura around him. Very much like Silva actu....'
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!" Galadriel and Arwen looked over at him angrily and then their expressions changed to ones of horror.
"Shit," they said together. (E/N: I know that's totally OOC and out of place, but it's the best way of describing their reaction! ^_^) Legolas began pointing wildly at Kemenhin.
"He... he... he... he's... he's... he's my...." He started pointing from himself to Kemenhin. "He's my... he... he... he's..." Arwen ran over to him and clamped a hand over his mouth and she dragged him away.
Galadriel stood staring at Kemenhin, confusedly. 'How did he get here? I put a shield of invisibility around him and one to stop him from leaving his crib...' She whined out loud. 'How and why do children do that? Now I remember why I only had the one.'
Several minutes later, she heard a VERY loud:
"I'M A DADDY!!!" Then there was the very sharp sound of a stinging slap and a yell of:
"WILL YOU KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN?!?!" Galadriel realised the problems that Legolas' newfound knowledge could cause, so, after hiding Kemenhin once more, she set off to find them.
Legolas was pacing back and forth nervously when she found them He was wringing his hands anxiously together and he looked very stressed.
"I'm a father," he kept repeating, over and over again. "But I can't be. I'm too young. I'm not even 1000 yet. My father still thinks of me as a child. I still think of me as a child. I can't be a father. OH NO! He's an illegal baby! What's going to happen to him? What's going to happen to Silva? WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME?!?!?!"
"Legolas, you have to calm down," said Arwen. "You need to think rationally."
"What's going to happen? He's not meant to be here. But he is. And me and Silva aren't meant to be together. But we sort of are. And I'm not meant to be a father. But I am. I have a child. We have a child. How can I leave him? How could she leave him?"
"She left him for you," said Galadriel. "And don't you know the rules? She couldn't exactly take him out in public, could she?"
"But he's just a child. How could she leave her own son?" Arwen slapped him again.
"Shut up and sit down," she ordered. Legolas quickly sat in a nearby chair. "Thank you. Now then, you have to listen very carefully...."
*****
Arian sat crying. Riel had her arm around her sister's shoulder, helplessly trying to comfort her.
"I just wish I knew why," she sobbed. Rath emerged from Silva's chamber bearing many sharp objects, including Tailltui, Silva's trusty sword, and two small daggers.
"There's nothing left in there that she could harm herself on. Nilia is binding her wounds," said Rath.
"Did she say anything?" asked Riel.
"She just keeps repeating that poem over and over again. Especially the last line."
"Why is she doing this? What has happed to make her so depressed?" wept Arian. Rath grimaced. As much as she hated to see Arian in this state and as much as they all deserved to know she had sworn to Silva that she wouldn't tell anyone, not even their sisters. But these events had not been foreseen when the promise had been made. Perhaps if she just told one of them, they could help her figure out what to do. Her thoughts were disturbed by Nilia leaving Silva's chamber, carrying bloodied bed linen. She too was crying, although she hastily wiped her tears away.
"I've bound her arms," she said. "And I've given her a sleeping remedy, for it was much needed."
"What will we do about her not eating?" queried Riel.
"We'll have to force feed her if she continues to refuse," stated Rath. "In her condition, she will not put up much of a fight."
"In her condition, she'll be dead in no more than a month," whispered Nilia. 'I can't tell them,' thought Rath. 'But this can't go on.' She sat down and put her head in her hands. She tried her hardest to keep her tears from flowing. 'I cannot break Silva's promise.' Her mind was in great turmoil.
Rath decided against telling her sisters because she didn't know what good it would do. It would only make Silva hate her when she got out if this depression.... if she got out of it.
Her own troubled mind was not helped by Silva's ill state, either. Because of their strong mind link, Rath had been suffering from terrible migraines. They were blindingly painful and often made her physically sick.
She sat watching Silva, silently lamenting the loss of the happy, dazzling sister that was once Silvawen. Somehow, over the months, she had seen that stunning, dark-haired beauty become a wraithlike ghost of a person. Her hair was lank and unwashed. She was thin and gaunt, her now ice- white skin stretched taut across her bones. Her eyes were wide, dark and sunken, glazed over as though she were in a constant reverie. Her forearms, which were no longer bound with linen bands, bore gruesome lacerations, reflecting the extent of her depression. How had it gotten this bad? Was she so neglected that she thought death was the only option? Again her thoughts were interrupted, but this time by raised voices outside the room.
"I want to see her, NOW," demanded one voice.
"I don't think that's wise. She's nothing like she used to be," said the second, anxiously.
"Arian, move out of my way. Let me see her!" Rath stood up and went to the door, flinging it open.
"You've got a nerve!" she growled. Legolas looked at her, quite shocked by her sudden apparition. She closed the door silently behind her. "What exactly do you think you are doing here?"
"I'm here to see Silvawen, as you well know," he said. "Elrond said she was seriously unwell, but he refused to tell me what was wrong."
"Thanks to you, she's dying," Rath hissed. Legolas' eyes widened in terror.
"Dying?" he echoed. "But... no... she can't be."
"See for yourself." Rath opened the door. As the three entered, Silva slowly turned her face to them. Legolas stopped dead in his tracks, horrified by what he saw.
"Silva?" There was nothing. Her eyes were completely devoid of any emotion, expression or even acknowledgement. He rushed to her side. "Silva? Silvawen? Talk to me, it is I, Legolas! Oh, my beautiful Silvawen, what has happened to you? What have I done?" He looked down and saw her bared arms. He gasped when he saw the slashes, marring her perfect skin. He cupped her face and then embraced her, receiving no response. He then lay her down, blinking back tears, and turned back to Arian and Rath.
"How long has she been like this?" he asked. "When did it begin?"
"Well, she wasn't her usual self, even when she returned," said Arian.
"What has that got to do with anything?" snapped Rath.
"She was not her usual self when she returned to Mirkwood, wither," he said, ignoring Rath's icy tone. He turned back to Silva. "Mankoi nar lle umë sina6?" he begged, as he stroked her face. There was a slight flicker of recognition behind her eyes as she heard the familiar Elven voice, but that was all it was. It was gone as quickly as it had appeared. He put his head in his hands.
"Does she never speak?" he eventually asked.
"She keeps repeating the same poem over and over again," said Arian. "It's about not having anyone to support you when you're at your lowest point. It then goes on to say something about how she used to love but no longer does."
" A heart of ice and stone has replaced the one o once loved with. Sorrow and grief weigh heavy on my heart as I think of that which is lost. Alone, loveless, pain stricken, heart broken. To knowingly and freely desert a loved one is to knowingly and freely lose faith in all that is good and offer oneself to Úmëa," quoted Rath. She had heard Silva repeat the poem countless times and consequently now knew it by heart, herself. "That is the end part."
"To knowingly and freely desert a loved one," echoed Legolas. 'Kemenhin,' he thought. 'She's pining for him. They should not have been separated so soon. She needs to be with him, and quickly.'
"I need to take her to Lórien," he said suddenly.
"What? Why?" asked Arian. Rath was just as startled as Arian by this, but mental bogs began to turn. 'Does he know? No, he can't,' she thought. 'How can he? She didn't tell him. But perhaps someone else did... no, Lady Galadriel would not do that. How then would he know? He simply couldn't. I'm just overreacting. He doesn't know. There's no way he could.'
"She is the most superior Elf in all Middle Earth, she may have the power to help Silva," he explained, thinking on his feet.
"But Nilia has already tried, and she is more powerful than any Elf," said Rath.
"But perhaps Lady Galadriel has knowledge that not even the Valar could have," he said. "And anything is worth a try. Now, will you let me take her, or do I have to take her by force?" Arian and Rath looked at one another.
"I'm going with you," said Rath.
"Very well. Go and prepare two horses. Arian, please dress Silva whilst I inform Lord Elrond of our decisions." He turned to Silva and planted a kiss on her forehead. "I will return for you, mirë en cormamin7," he vowed. He left the room with Rath. Just as she was about to turn down the corridor, he shocked her by taking her hand and squeezing it gently.
"She's going to be alright," he promised. She smiled back.
"I know."
*****
1May the Valar watch over and protect you. 2Evil. 3Well met, Legolas son of Thranduil. 4Greetings, Haldir of Lórien.. 5Good afternoon. 6Why are you doing this? 7Jewel of my heart.