We have come to our ending. I do hope you have enjoyed our time together. Gabrina has proved so entertaining to me that I assure you, we will return with a Sequal called A Ghost's Shadow. I have no desire to leave my muse just yet. There is still much to be told of my legacy, like what happens to the dog.
Gabrina reminds me that this is a long chapter so, I have one last message from her (she irritates me sometimes!). This last chapter is dedicated to all of our beta readers, but one in particular.
Here's to Life.
And to the rest of you reading, we thank you. Well, Gabrina thanks you. I tolerate your presence. You've come to expect that from me.
Ch 61
The three of us walked through the auditorium to the back of the theatre where Julia, the vicomte and I had initially entered. One by one, we blew out our candles and exited the abandoned building. I glanced up and saw the familiar horseshoe the dancers touched on their way to the stage. My hand raised and tapped the cold iron decoration. Never had I reveled in absurd superstitions, but I thought it would be nice to ward off a ghost, to keep a phantom where he belonged.
This place was no longer part of me. I stepped into the night and breathed a sigh of relief.
Dawn was still hours away and no one walked the streets. My watch had stopped earlier this evening and I had not thought of winding it before frantically leaving Julia's home. Calculating how long it took us to walk down into the cellars and back up again, I assumed it was around three in the morning.
I shivered as the wind picked up and beat the loose wooden boards against the deserted building. The air seemed much colder than it had when we had first entered. While I waited for Alex to emerge, I realized it had started to drizzle again. I threw my hood over my head but decided I should offer it to either Julia or Alexandre.
The vicomte had trotted off toward the street corner. I assumed he searched for his coach and driver though I was certain that the young boy had taken the horses back to the stable.
"Do we have to walk home?" Alexandre asked me.
I had half the mind to tell him yes, we did, and none of us would have been out in the rain had it not been for him running off. Exhaustion made me highly irritable, as did the rain and a newly realized pang of hunger. My back was starting to hurt and my head pounded because of my stitches and my confounded hair.
I did my best to remain civil. "I'm not sure yet. It isn't terribly far. Only seven or eight streets."
"Seven or eight streets?" Alexandre moaned.
To hell with being civil if he was only going to moan about the situation. "Hardly my doing now, is it? If you didn't want to walk home you should have considered that before you left," I snapped.
He crossed his arms and moved toward Julia, who draped her arm over his shoulder and held him protectively to her breast. I removed the clasp from my cloak and began to hand my outer garment to Julia but she shook her head. She glared at me for my tone of voice.
"Alex, why would you go down there in the first place?" she asked gently.
He shrugged and sucked on his bottom lip.
"Oh come now, that's hardly an answer, young man. You had me worried sick."
He glanced at me for a moment before burying his face against Julia's chest. "She wouldn't come for me there. I knew she wouldn't come for me if I hid down there and I never wanted to see her again. She was very cross with me."
My aggravation with him suddenly vanished. I was ashamed of myself for treating him so harshly. Christine had frightened him.
Julia shot me a forlorn look but said nothing to me. She turned her attention back to Alexandre and smoothed his hair. "You should have gone to your father."
"But she would have called the gendarmes and they would have taken Father away."
"Alex, as considerate as it may seem to you now, I don't believe that is an acceptable reason for running away from home. Do you?"
Alexandre shook his head.
"How did you get there?" Julia asked.
"The tunnel," Alex answered. "Father's tunnel. There was a boat tied up on the shoreline." I was tempted to tell him it was moored, not tied, but a surly nature would be counterproductive. "I rowed all the way to the other side."
Julia gave me a questioning look. Yet another question she would have for me. "You shouldn't have gone down there, Alex. You could have been hurt. You realize that, don't you?"
"Yes…but…." He lifted his head, his eyes wide as the wheels in his head turned faster. "If we lived in Venice we could take a gondola home. Did you see the boat on the lake?"
His sudden turn of conversation startled Julia. "No, I did not."
"The bottom is starting to rot." He looked at me again, completely forgetting that I had just snapped at him. "Father, do you think we could make a new boat?"
Before I could answer, Raoul de Chagny rejoined us.
"My driver returned to the hotel but I've arranged for a cab to take the three of you home," the vicomte informed us. He shielded his eyes from the rain with his hand and looked solemnly at the three of us huddled together.
"How did you hire a cab?" Julia asked.
"There was a carriage at a house down the street just finishing a ride. He'll be here in a moment or two. I've already paid."
The vicomte gave his overcoat to my frenetically inquisitive Alexandre, who had started to ask Julia what sort of wood was best suited for shipbuilding. Three in the morning and he wanted to be Napoleon.
"That was unnecessary," I said to the vicomte. He would not show me up with his boundless chivalry. I whipped the cloak from my own shoulders and placed it around Julia.
"Then don't take the carriage. Allow your son and Madame Seuratti to ride home sheltered from the rain and if you prefer, walk," the vicomte replied.
You miserable bastard, I expected him to say but he held his tongue.
"Madame Seuratti," I said under my breath. "Madame Seuratti indeed."
Nobody listened to me. Julia was still listening to Alex talk about ships. His words had started to slur together as he exhausted himself, but he valiantly pressed on with as much exuberance as he could muster. The vicomte had turned his back on me and had focused his attention on Alex as well.
Damn it, I thought. Why did I have this burgeoning desire to fight tooth and nail? Perhaps I was my own worst enemy.
"I'll have compensation sent to your hotel later in the morning," I said rather loudly to gain their attention.
All three of them stared at me a moment. The vicomte nodded. "It's in no way a requirement, but if you feel it is necessary, I will not argue."
Of course he wouldn't argue. He was civilized, curbed and leashed like a perfectly trained aristocrat. He turned away from me again and shook Alexandre's hand.
"It has been a sincere pleasure to make your acquaintance, Monsieur."
"Thank you," Alexandre replied. Julia nudged him. "It has been….a…." Julia whispered in his ear. "Sincere pleasure to acquaint with you."
The carriage horses clopped up and snorted as they stood impatiently at the curb. The driver hopped down and opened the cab door. Julia handed me my cloak since we stood in the presence of a stranger. I accepted it without question.
I turned my face away from the driver and donned the cloak, pulling the hood up quickly.
Alex helped Julia into her seat and followed close behind her.
"Thank you," Alex said as he turned around and handed the vicomte his damp overcoat.
"Of course, my boy," the vicomte replied as he shrugged into his coat. He held onto the door for a moment and forced a smile. "Best of luck with your future studies and travels. I have no doubt you will be one of the most integral members on an Egyptian expedition. You'll make your father very proud—if he could be more pleased with you."
He lingered a moment longer as though he would say something more but he didn't. There was nothing more for him to say. With a soft sigh, Chagny stepped away and turned in the direction of the Wisteria Hotel. He looked me in the eye and knew it would be the last time our paths would cross.
"Good night to you, Monsieur Kire." He shoved his hands into his pockets and gave a quick nod to avoid another handshake.
"Are you walking?" Alexandre asked suddenly, his head popping back out into the rain.
"It's only a few streets."
My newfound conscience would not allow him the displeasure of walking to his hotel in the rain. Since I no longer wanted him dead, I assumed if I allowed him to wander about at night he would either be mugged in an alley or suffer death from pneumonia. I would be damned if I was marked with his death after all that had transpired.
"Perhaps you and Alexandre may continue the history of Africa on the ride home," I said. He met my eye with wide-eyed surprise. "And perhaps you could explain in greater detail the plans you have drawn up for my son's future."
"Why, well, y-yes, of course."
His blubbering made me smirk. "I trust you will have something finalized before supper time tomorrow?"
"I—I could." He glanced over my shoulder at Alexandre. By the look in his eyes he was barely able to believe I had considered his offer. He wasn't the only one. Julia sat with her mouth agape. It was interesting to see a look of utter astonishment that had nothing to do with disappointment.
"Is that your decision?" the vicomte asked cautiously, switching his gaze back to me.
It wasn't in my nature to make it too damned easy for him. My gruffness returned with a hardened gaze as I looked at him. "I haven't made a decision. I merely want to see what you have intended for my son," I said harshly. I stepped aside and ushered him into the coach.
"We will discuss this at Julia's house tomorrow night. Nine sharp, is that understood?" I said to him without first consulting Julia. I glanced at her and raised a brow as a silent apology for overtaking her home but she made no protest to my assumptions. She half-smiled and sat back as the coach lurched forward into the night.
No one spoke on the ride to the Wisteria. Alexandre fell asleep against my side while Julia dozed as she sat beside the vicomte. I thought Chagny would nod off as well but he didn't trust me enough. He reluctantly kept his eyes open while his body swayed with every bump of the carriage.
He glanced at Julia and Alexandre and then turned and looked at me. He sat far forward as the coach slowed and tapped his fingers together. "You've been….fortunate." He paused, waiting for me to acknowledge his words. He rested his temples against the palms of his hands briefly before continuing with his eyes averted. "As strange as this sounds, it is almost a relief to find you alive and with a family. I don't know why, but it has been a regret of mine to hate you for so long."
I didn't reply immediately. I had been more tolerant of him than was necessary given our history. Still, if he had something to say and had been brave enough to say it then I would say what I had thought as well.
"I will only say this once so I suggest you listen closely and dare not ask any questions," I began. I stared out the window and saw the familiar shops along the street. We were steadfastly approaching the hotel.
"I am not going to thank you. You've been a burden on my mind for far too long. But I will say this: if you had not attempted to kill me, I wouldn't have Alexandre and Julia here with me. Take that as you will."
The coach creaked to a stop and the driver jumped down and opened the door.
"Tomorrow at nine sharp," the vicomte confirmed. "Madame Seuratti's home."
"Julia," Julia murmured. She sat upright and rubbed her eyes with her uninjured hand. "You may call me Julia."
"Good night, then, Monsieur Kire, Madame Julia," the vicomte said politely. He hesitated. "Let me know what the bill is for your hand. I will bring my checkbook. If there was more—"
"It's a shallow wound," Julia replied. She looked at me for a moment. "It will heal."
Alexandre became unbearably heavy against my side. He was deep asleep, as was expected for the hour of the night and the amount of excitement he had experienced over the past few hours.
Julia had perked up and was watching Paris drift past the window. The horses moved at a steady trot. The night was almost at an end. For a man that had always loved darkness, I could not wait for the sun to rise.
"What time is it?" Julia questioned.
"My watch stopped. Near three, I would guess."
She nodded. "It's been a long night."
"Yes, it has," I agreed. "I should not have allowed you to come—but I'm glad you were here. If I didn't have you—"
"Erik, you cannot come to my home as you once did."
I nodded ruefully, feeling like a scolded child. I couldn't bear to look her in the eye and see her disappointment in me.
She was ending it. After a night of peril and utter disaster, Julia was ending our arrangement, our agreement, our relationship. Whatever the hell it had been, it was coming to an end. Yesterday I had hoped we could have something more than what the past had proved as merely tolerable. I wanted something livable.
"It's for the best," she added. "For both of us, Erik, not just for me. We both need time."
I sighed and nodded. Five years of spending the night in her bed and I couldn't think of a damned thing to say to her. It angered me that I was still so far from being human. A basic conversation seemed impossible. I could read a book in Latin but I couldn't talk to the woman I loved.
"I want something more than an occasional bedmate," Julia said quietly. "I want something….something real. Don't you?"
Something more than a phantom, I thought morosely, something more than I would ever be to her.
"I want you," I said with a shiver.
Her eyes looked glassy when she stared at me.
"May I at least walk you to your door? Or do you wish to be rid of me immediately?" I questioned bitterly.
Julia tisked me for being so melodramatic. "Oh, Erik, quit being so pessimistic. You always assume the worst without even hearing what I say to you."
I bowed my head.
"Now, I didn't say I never wanted to speak to you again, but I want…something different."
My body tensed. There was hope, a proverbial light at the end of my dismal tunnel.
"I would like you to come for dinner some night," she said. "Not as you have planned for this evening with the vicomte, but sometime in the future."
"To dinner?"
"Yes, to dinner. Dinner and nothing more, so don't even ask me to take you upstairs."
"Why would I come over--" I caught myself before I threw away my final chance. "Why would you have me for dinner?"
"I want you to sit down and tell me everything about your past."
Her request left me speechless. I looked away from her and shook my head. "I—I—no, Julia, I can't do that."
"Yes, you can. It can't possibly be more disturbing than what I've seen tonight. After Christine…trust me, Erik. You can tell me anything. I think I've earned the right to know you more than I do now."
There was so much I feared to tell her, but if it meant seeing her again, I would do anything. "For how long?" I asked.
She sighed in disgust and checked to make sure Alex was still asleep. "Long enough for you come to see me and not my bedroom, you wicked fool."
I smiled at her words. It was a relief to hear her jest. "You should be flattered," I said under my breath. "And you know I only come for your crumpets anyway."
She shook her head and tried not to chuckle. "You will never learn how to be civilized, will you?" She sighed and pulled her braid over her shoulder. "But honestly, Erik, after tonight, I need a holiday from you."
My deepest fear returned. "You won't see me?" I asked.
She lightly shook her head and stared out the window to avoid my gaze. "Erik, you make it sound worse than it is."
"For how long?"
"I don't know yet," she replied.
The carriage began to slow. If she held true to her words it could be days or weeks before I saw her again. My eyes widened in the dark and I willed myself to soak up each detail of her face, her hair, her posture as she sat.
"We will see each other tomorrow," she reminded me.
That was not nearly enough to sate me.
The carriage jolted to a stop, waking Alex enough that he shifted and rested his head against the side of the carriage instead of my arm.
I stepped out of the cab first and helped Julia down the step. The driver, sensing our need for privacy, climbed back into his seat and mumbled something to the horses.
She took my arm and allowed me to walk her to the front door. The light was on in the window and I saw Meg poke her head through the lace curtains. Once she saw us, she closed the curtain again. She had undoubtedly stayed with Lisette.
"Good night," I said, simply for the sake of saying something. My words barely filled the night. As soon as they faded, the emptiness was more apparent, my disappointment heavier in my heart.
"Erik," Julia sighed. She stepped forward and placed her head against my chest. I wondered if she could hear my heart beating, drumming for her to say to hell with all of her plans. I wanted to hear her say I could come for dinner the following day and spend the night with her.
Her body felt so warm against mine. My head tipped forward until I rested my chin against the top of her head. She still smelled like sandalwood. She intoxicated me so much that I didn't want her to go into her house, not unless I could go with her. Not unless she let me stay forever.
She tilted her head up and looked into my eyes. I wondered how such a beautiful woman could tolerate such a wretched thing as me, but she didn't even blink. She had never scrutinized my face, even after I had insulted her and hurt her in the most damnable ways possible.
Julia put her hand against my right cheek and stroked the ruined flesh with her thumb. I inhaled sharply, every sensation flitting through my body magnified by our close proximity. I wanted to question her actions, interrogate her on why she would ever place her long, slender hand on it but I already knew why.
"Julia, I—"
"Erik, I know. I know," she whispered.
Without a word, I touched her chin and drew her face upward. If she wouldn't have me say it, I would show her. I would show her how much I loved her.
I closed my eyes when our lips met and pressed my arms tightly around her body, melding us together. She kissed me back, a perfectly innocent closed-mouth gesture that left me wanting more.
I knew she had done it on purpose. She was maddening.
Julia placed her hands against my chest when she pulled away. "I will see you tomorrow evening."
"And then what?"
"Then we shall see."
I tried to kiss her again but she stopped me and took my hand in hers. She squeezed my fingers gently and half-smiled. There was a look of longing in her eyes that I hoped would change her mind. Even though I knew she would not decide differently, I still wanted to hear her ask me over for the night.
"Good night."
"Good night," I replied. I brushed a kiss against the back of her hand before she slipped away and walked into the house. She didn't glance back at me before the door closed, which stung worse than any pain I had ever experienced. I wanted to scream out in agony.
With a sigh, I turned and walked back to the carriage. It seemed ridiculous to have a horse and driver take us a street away, but standing before Julia's house alone had left me feeling cold inside. I desperately wanted to knock on her door but I feared she wouldn't answer. Or she would answer and tell me never to come back.
I trudged along and opened the cab door. Alex was sitting upright when I stepped back into the carriage. From the look on his face I had a feeling he had seen me kiss Julia.
"Father?"
It was somewhat embarrassing to have been caught by my own son. As triumphant as I felt in having kissed Julia, I merely replied with a grunt.
"Do you think someday Madame Seuratti could be my mother?"
I sat with my arm around him and thought for a moment. Julia Kire did sound better than Julia Seuratti. The idea brought a smile to my face.
"Is that what you want?" I asked Alex.
He yawned against my chest. "I like her. She would be a good mother."
I had never put much consideration into a living, breathing wife, but I couldn't imagine waking up to any other woman. My insides warmed; my grief dissipating as the coach rounded the corner and slowed before our front steps. This was the woman who had healed me, who had bandaged wounds I thought would last forever.
Julia. My Julia, I thought with renewed hope. My beautiful wife, Julia.
Perhaps tomorrow at dinner I would ask her.
The End.