Title: Summer of discovery

Author: Joy

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A/N: Please bear with me. I have been in a lot of pain the last several days. I have been unable to work and have no real diagnosis. I hope this all makes sense, but I don't know that it does. My editing powers are diminished under the circumstances.

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Chapter 11: Fallout

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Harry put a silence locking charm on the door to the twins' room before slamming it.

"Now what the bloody hell was that about" he growled.

"I don't know what you mean" Ginny said crossing her arms before her.

"Oh really...I have never seen you like that before. What was that"

"Why did you invite her here" she got mad and stamped her foot.

"I didn't" Harry snapped.

Gin raised her eyebrow. "Right. She just showed up on her own" she said sarcastically.

"I don't know. I don't care. I didn't invite her...I would have found out what the hell brought her by but my girlfriend went territorial on me! I just don't get it."

"She's the girl you had a thing for...the girl that was exotic and beautiful...the girl..."

Harry interrupted"...that's not YOU! She's the girl that's not you... She's not my girlfriend. She's not the one I tell my secrets to. She's not the one I dream of at night. She is not YOU"

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He shook his head"Ginny...I don't get this. Why... do you think I would cheat on you"

"I had to force intimacy on you...how did I know you wouldn't jump at the chance."

"What chance"

Ginny grit her teeth"She was coming on to you."

"I didn't notice! I was concentrating on the slope of your stomach...wondering what color knickers you were wearing today... fantasizing about getting you out of them" he growled.

"Really" she said timidly.

Harry pulled her close framing her face with his palms"I don't know how to make you understand. I love you... I don't just say that. I never had it said to me. I didn't even know for certain what it meant until you."

Ginny began to tear up.

He spoke softly"I don't care about Cho Chang. I don't care about what she is doing here. I care about you. Now there is nothing that Cho can offer me that would make me even consider leaving you."

"I'm sorry" Ginny whispered and threw her arms around his neck.

Harry stroked her hair and rubbed slow circles on her back. "It's okay."

Gin shook her head. "No its not. I know I shouldn't doubt you its just..." her voice tapered off. "Just old insecurities I guess. She was always the girl you were looking at while I was looking at you."

Harry didn't buy the explanation"Maybe that's part of it. But that's not all of it."

Gin said nothing. "This isn't really about Cho is it"

Ginny looked down.

Harry tilted her face back up.

"What else would it be" she said quietly.

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Harry sat them both on one of the beds. "You trust me right"

"More than anything" Ginny responded.

"Then maybe its time to deal with some of the deeper stuff."

Gin looked at her hands. "What do you mean? You know what I'm doing to work on the assault fall out."

With a deep sigh he took her hands and said"It maybe time we talk through the chamber Gin." She froze, then began to tremble. "You told me last night that you had to forgive Theo because if you didn't he would assault you everyday of your life...that he wasn't allowed to have that much control over you. I don't know that this is about forgiveness... unless it's to forgive yourself, but it's certainly about reclaiming the power over us that we give the right bastard."

"I don't want to..."

"Gin..."

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Ginny looked deep into Harry's eyes. "He's always there Harry. You know it. You felt it. You heard it. How am I supposed to take it back"

"Would you die for me" Harry said simply.

"What"

"Don't think about it...just answer the question. Would you die for me" Ginny nodded solemnly. "Well then you've taken the first step. Your life is not your own to give to him. Just like my life isn't my own. I live for you...you live for me. He doesn't factor into that equation."

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"That's very good Harry but that really isn't practical..." Gin began to dispute. "For all I know I am tainted" she said moving to the window.

"It's a lie. It's one of his lies Gin."
"I nearly killed all those..." she sobbed quietly.

Harry grabbed her shoulders and spun her round. "No... no... You did nothing."

"I was stupid and naïve and..."

"Eleven" Harry shouted. "You were eleven. You were lonely and scared. All the things you knew of life changed. You were a child. You weren't stupid...you were innocent."

Gin wrenched out of his arms"Yeah. Definitely not that any more, am I"

He growled"That's not something you want. You have never expressed a desire to be innocent. You have wanted to be in control of your own destiny...no damsel in distress."

She glared at him"I don't want it to have happened! I don't want that..."

"You don't want me" Harry shouted at her.

"What"

He grit his teeth"You told me once that we understood each other because we had both been possessed by him. You told me once we started dating that we were well matched because you could deal with my outbursts and freak outs and..." He clamped his eyes shut"You told me you understood why to most girls dating me would be overwhelmed. While I frightened everyone else you stood up to me. You said it was because of him that you could."

Harry stood right in front of Ginny and stared hard at her"So here is the real question Gin: If you could go back, would you change it? Am I worth the pain? Is being with me enough to cover over the darkness that it brought you? 'Cause lets be realistic, if you hadn't been possessed you and I wouldn't be here right now. So...am I enough? Am I worth it" He swallowed shallowly.

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Ginny's tear streaked face just stared at him. She tried to make all the words make sense. She tried to understand the answers before the questions. Tears continued to silently run down her face.

Harry breathed deeply. He knew this was part of what his mum meant about Ginny having to find her own path to come back to him. It didn't hurt any less that she was taking forever to answer...but at least she had listened.

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Ten minutes later Ginny moved to the window and stared out it. Fifteen after that she leaned against the windowpane. Five minutes after that she began to whimper.

Harry came along side her quietly. "Gin...Gin do you want me to hold you? Can I hold you" She nodded and made room for him on the windowsill.

Gin cried into his shirt for a long time. While she had dealt with a lot of her feelings over the Chamber, this was the first time she mourned the loss of the little girl that she had been. She realized that the innocent, naïve child she had been died on that cold stone floor. The Ginny that woke up was different. She was stronger and more resilient... darker. Gin liked the person she was and hated the person she was at the same time. This was her watershed moment and both Harry and she knew it. It would either swallow her or she would finally bury that long dead part of herself that was festering in the recesses of her mind.

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"I see myself" Ginny finally croaked in a voice thick from crying.

"When" Harry asked Ginny.

"When I face a boggart...I see her...me...the eleven year old Ginny Weasley, diary in hand, Tom Riddle behind" she said without thought. She shook her head; "There was nothing funny about it that I could think of. It was just me...little, helpless Ginny Weasley...and I hated her. I tried to kill her. I attacked the boggart. Can you imagine anything so foolish"

"No, Gin...not foolish. It's good. The last thing you want is to not know how you would respond if Voldemort appeared to you as Tom. You being angry is a good thing" Harry soothed. "I personally want to tear him limb from limb for what he did to you...but hey I have that annoying savior complex."

Ginny laughed a bit"Yeah well I kinda like that whole knight in shining armor routine you pull occasionally...but don't let it go to your head."

"Oh never."

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Gin played with Harry's fingers and looked into his shining eyes. "Thank you...for being here. I...I needed to do this. I've sorted a lot but...I never really got over the part of me I lost. I wouldn't have even really known to identify it without your help." She kissed him lightly"You love this me...the one that can stand up to you and empathize...the one that understands. You love all parts of me that I have hidden and hated for so long. But most of all you mourn the loss of my innocence, my childhood in a way that let me see that was the piece I was missing...I was looking past."

"What are you saying Gin" he whispered gently.

She sighed"I'm saying I actually like me too...some of the time. To be who I am now I needed to have those things happen."

That really wasn't what Harry was hoping for but it was a very healthy answer so he wasn't going to complain. "That's good Gin."

"As for whether you are worth the pain- in a heart beat." Harry looked up quickly. Ginny smiled softly"That really isn't the part I needed to think about. I already told you I would die for you. I needed to concentrate on the rest. I would do anything for you."

"I love you" he whispered and drew her to himself.

"I...I adore you" she answered. Harry sighed. That was as good as it would get for a while.

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TBC...

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A/N: Sorry for the length but I wanted this to stand-alone. This was a conversation that I felt was a long time coming.

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Thank you for all the reviews it did make me smile so- PLEASE REVIEW! Keep me smiling.