Chapter 42: What Can I do?

I haven't slept at all in days

It's been so long since we have talked

And I have been here many times

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love?

What can I do to make you care?

What can I say to make you feel this?

What can I do to get you there?

There's only so much I can take

And I've just got to let it go

And who knows I might feel better

If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love?

What can I do to make you care?

What can I say to make you feel this?

What can I do to get you there?

What Can I Do? – The Corrs

A week later the documentary started filming. Aeris woke on Monday morning to hear a knock at her door.

"Tifa, get it." She mumbled into her pillow.

"Lazy cow." Tifa grumbled, going to the door. She opened it, gasped and slammed it shut. Aeris sat up sharply.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Aeris, did you have an interview set up for today?"

"No… well, that documentary thing is supposed to start today. But they said they'd find me later."

"I guess they changed their minds." Tifa hissed. Aeris winced.

"They're here aren't they?"

"Oh yeah."

Aeris pulled on a dressing gown and went to the door. She pulled it open slightly.

"Um, hi."

"Aeris? I'm Matt, the producer. Sorry we're early." Said a young man, grinning. He had dark brown hair, tied back into a ponytail and grey eyes. Behind him stood five other people holding cameras, microphones and clipboards.

"No problem. I mean, my roommate is going to murder me in my sleep, but whatever."

Matt laughed and said,

"OK, we just wanted to organise a meeting place."

"Do you know Barret's Café? I'll be there in half an hour. I'll just get dressed."

"No problem. See you in half an hour."

Aeris shut the door and leant against it.

"I'm so sorry, Tifa."

"You'd better be. Come on, let's get dressed. Ooh, what are you going to wear? I mean, you're going to be on TV, you need to look good!"

"I don't care Tifa. The point is to look natural." Aeris explained to her roommate who waved it away without answering.

Vincent was sitting in the café waiting for her. He smiled and kissed her as she came in with Tifa.

"I think they're here to see you." He said, nodding towards the camera crew. Aeris laughed embarrassedly.

"Oh, don't! It's so scary."

"Aeris, I just want you to introduce yourself, talk quickly about the café, maybe introduce your friends and then say what we're going to be doing today. Is that OK?" Matt asked. Aeris nodded and then waved as Yuffie came in with Cloud and Reeve.

"And… go!" Matt said, pointing at the camera. Aeris grinned quickly.

"Hey. I'm Aeris Gainsborough. I wrote and performed I'll be there for you with the Turks and this is a documentary about what it's like to be me."

"Cut! That's great Aeris. OK. The café and your friends. Go!" Matt said hastily. Aeris turned to point at her friends.

"OK, this is Cloud Strife. He's been my best friend since we were kids. This is his girlfriend and my roommate, Tifa Lockheart, who also works here. That's Yuffie Kisaragi and Reeve. Reeve is Cloud's roommate and Yuffie is in my music class. Over at the counter, that's Barret Wallace. He's Tifa's adoptive Dad and owns this café. Which, by the way, is the best café in Midgar."

Yuffie, Tifa and Cloud all cheered at that and Barret yelled,

"Damn right is it!" Aeris laughed and then said,

"And this is my boyfriend Vincent Valentine." She smiled at him and he gave a small smile in return. Yuffie and Tifa both went 'Awwwww' and Aeris threw a piece of toast at them. She turned back to the camera.

"This is Barret's Café. I'm here a lot with my friends, mostly because we're all extreme coffee addicts. Yuffie and I sometimes sing in Open Mic Nights here. It's really great. Plus, Barret makes a great breakfast." She pointed at the plate of scrambled egg and toast in front of her and the camera tilted to zoom in on it.

"Of course, the breakfast would be better if Aeris didn't put tomato sauce on her eggs." Yuffie said.

"Oh, she's always done that. It puts everyone else right off their food."

"Hey! It's not that weird. Is it?" She asked Vincent, looking for moral support. He looked slightly embarrassed.

"Actually, Aeris…"

"Oh my god, I can't believe I'm hearing this!" Aeris laughed. Matt grinned as he said, "Cut. OK, that's great, just what we're looking for. Now, tell us what we're doing today."

"Today, I have music class first, with Yuffie. Tseng, from the Turks, is going to be our teacher soon, because our current teacher is going to have a baby. Then I would normally have Literature with Cloud but Professor Jenova is on a teaching course. This afternoon I'm going shopping because its Yuffie's birthday next week and I need to get her a present. Luckily, this documentary isn't going to be aired until after that so she still won't know what she's getting!"

Yuffie pulled a sulky face. Aeris giggled.

"And then I'm meeting with the Turks and Mike, the manager. What else am I doing today?" She asked the others. Vincent said,

"You've got Open Mic tonight."

"Oh, yeah."

"What song are you doing?" Matt asked.

"One I wrote for the Christmas Concert. It's called 'Your Song'."

"Was it written for someone in particular?"

Aeris blushed and she rubbed the back of her head.

"…Yeah. I wrote it for Vincent. Actually, we weren't going out at the time. But it was for him."

"Aeris, we've got to go. Music." Yuffie said, grabbing her bag. Aeris kissed Vincent quickly.

"I'll see you at lunch?"

"See you then."

Matt spoke to the other people and then said,

"OK, Music. We got permission from the University to film in there. Just so you know, Aeris, if there's anything you want taken out, just tell us and we'll try to sort it out."

"Thanks. We'd better go, or we're going to be seriously late."

"We'll give you a lift in the van." Matt said.

Shera took Aeris to one side as she came in.

"Aeris, can we move your one-on-one from tomorrow to Wednesday?"

"Sure. How come?"

"I've got a hospital appointment. Just a check-up."

"OK, no problem. Oh, Shera, this is the film crew from the documentary."

"Aeris, wait for the camera." Matt said, as he checked the lighting in the room.

Eventually he seemed satisfied with everything.

"OK. Go ahead, and remember to be natural."

"This is my Music professor, Shera Highwind. And this is my music class." Everybody waved to the camera, "Mostly in this class we do individual practise, or work in small groups. At the end of the class we sit together and show what we've worked on in the class. Also, we have one-on-one sessions with Shera. Music is one of the smallest classes in the university. There are sixteen of us altogether in this class." Aeris said as the camera panned around the room. Shera said,

"Let's get to work now. I know we're all excited about the film crew, but let's try and get something done today!"

Aeris went to practise saxophone while Yuffie sat down at the piano. Aeris held up her saxophone.

"This is my new one; I just got it for my birthday. I've been having a little trouble with it. I had my old one for years and I'm not used to not playing it."

"Aeris, we're going to go around the class, talk to a few of your classmates. That OK?"

"Sure." Aeris said, glad for the chance to sit down and practise. She took out a Jazz piece and started to play.

Fifteen minutes later she looked up and jumped in horror. Matt was talking to James. She rushed over as Matt moved away and asked,

"What did he just say to you?"

"Is something wrong?"

"Yes. I'd like to see what that guy said." Aeris said, slightly panicky. Matt put a hand on her arm.

"Don't worry about it. We'll send over a tape tonight with everything from today's shoot."

"Thanks Matt."

"No problem. OK, we're going to check through some stuff for this afternoon. We'll be in the van."

Aeris sank down into a seat as they left. James, who was sitting opposite on the table (she hadn't noticed) said,

"Are you OK? You look kinda flushed."

"What did you say to them?"

"Nothing much. They just asked me about your music and what I thought of you."

"I didn't ask what they said, I asked what you said." Aeris replied.

"Aeris, I just said that I loved your music and that you're a great person. What else would I have said?"

"…I don't know. I don't know."

"I wouldn't say anything to embarrass you." James said quietly. Aeris immediately felt intensely guilty, although she wasn't sure why.

"OK, I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions. I just jumped in head first, like an idiot."

James smiled, doodling on a piece of paper. He said, without looking up.

"I don't think you're an idiot."

"I am one though. A prize one." Aeris muttered.

"No. You're just passionate."

"Hmm, stupidity and passion. Yeah, I see how you can get those mixed up." Aeris said sarcastically. James laughed.

"Aeris, don't put yourself down. By the way, I heard your song. The Crazy one."

"Closest Thing to Crazy. And how did you hear that? You're banned from the café." Aeris enquired.

"I was standing outside. No harm in standing outside. I was waiting for a friend." James said, finally looking up from the paper. Aeris shrugged.

"No harm."

"It was a great song."

"Thanks. Wait, I'm mad at you." Aeris suddenly realised. James stared at her.

"You are?"

"Well, duh! Of course I am."

"I thought you might have gotten over it."

"Gotten over it? What are you on?"

"You seemed very much over it about two seconds ago." James pointed out. Aeris rolled her eyes, pushing herself back from the desk.

"About two seconds ago I was a little more insane than I am now. I've got work to do."

"Aeris, wait."

She paused. She wasn't quite sure why she paused. But she did.

"What can I do?" James asked.

"Huh?"

"What can I do to make you stop hating me? What can I do to make you care?"

"You can't. You can't do anything." Aeris replied quietly.

"I don't believe that. There must be something I can do."

"There isn't. Look, James, I'm too tired to argue with you. I'm in a place right now where I'm happy. Really happy. Please don't ruin that for me. Don't go digging up any past histories. Don't go spreading rumours. Just… let go."

Aeris jumped as the bell rang. She seized her bag and went over to Yuffie.

"I'm going shopping now. Are you going to the café?"

"Yeah."

"Could you drop this off for me?" She handed her the bag, Yuffie nodded.

"OK. But you'd better get me a damn good birthday present!"

Vincent sat in the café, drawing lazily. It was a beautifully warm day, but he was meeting Aeris here soon and it was a good chance to get some drawing done. He sketched a vague outline of a person and started to add features. The face smiled up at him. He idly darkened the eyes and then looked up as Aeris entered.

"Where's your film crew?" He asked.

"They've gone to lunch. They'll meet me outside the Company building in time for the meeting. What are you having?" She asked, looking at the Specials Board. Vincent eyed her.

"Are you alright? You look flustered."

"Yeah… I kind of had a conversation with James. It was weird; I didn't even want to hurt him. But then I realised who it was and all those lovely murderous feelings came right back."

"He was bothering you?"

"Not really… I'm just being really paranoid."

Vincent smiled at her. Barret came over.

"What are you having?" They ordered and Vincent asked her,

"Do you want to do something this weekend?"

"Do something? Like what?" Aeris asked, as she stirred her coffee.

"Something. It just occurred to me the other day that we've been going out for nearly six months and we haven't had a proper date, apart from the Winter Dance."

"Yes, we have! We… oh. You're right." Aeris realised. Vincent smiled.

"Well, what would you like to do for out first date?"

"I don't know! You decide. Surprise me." Aeris said. Vincent considered her for a moment.

"Alright then. I will."

(A/N: More filler. Sorry about that, but I'm feeling horribly uninspired. You should probably leave really nice long reviews to inspire me… OK, that was not subtle. Never mind, I'll try to update soon, but I have exams next week so I need to revise. Love you all. Hee, I'm in a good mood right now. I work at Gillingham Football Club in Kent and we FINALLY won a match after about eight defeats! Woohoo, go Gills!)