E/N: Just so you know, it's 11:30 pm and I'm a little on the drunk side
right now, so if this chapter turns out substandard with undistinguishable
typos, you know why!
Some of you will recognize the poem. Whilst re-reading it earlier, I decided it was very fitting for the situation here also, so I popped it in.
There's quite a bit of repetition in this chapter. I'm trying to emphasise the pint and make sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. We see the same point of time from different perspectives, so I have to make it clear to make sure I don't confuse you.
Translations: Meleth-nin = my love
Chapter 45
Elladan had just put Kemenhin on his talan, ensured he was sleeping soundly and reached the bottom of the tree when he heard the long, loud wail.
"EEEEELLLLLLAAAAADDDDDDDAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!" He looked up sharply.
"Silva?" He determined the direction in which the cry had come from and started to run. "I shouldn't have left her alone," he scolded himself.
Eventually they (literally) ran into one another. Silva's face was damp with tears and Elladan's was etched with concern. What had upset her so much? I prayed it was nothing to do with Haldir. He hugged her tightly.
"Silva, what's wrong?!" She sobbed into his shoulder.
"You left. . . Haldir. . . we argued. . . but. . . but we. . ."
"But what? What happened, Silva?"
"We kissed, El. . ." His mouth fell open and he automatically pushed her away from him.
"YOU DID WHAT?!?!?!?!" he yelled. "Silva!!! How could you be so STUPID?!?!?!?"
"I don't know. . . it just happened." They sat down on the grass, Silva futilely wiping the tears from her face, Elladan still glaring at her. "After you went, he came to the clearing. We spoke for a while and ended up arguing. I went to walk away but he stopped me with something he said. Eventually we agreed that the past was behind us and that we'd be friends. I hugged him and then we just. . . kissed. . ."
"Silva, 'then we just kissed' is not an answer or an excuse, and you know it! What the hell made you kiss THAT!?!"
"I didn't kiss him! It was a sort of silent, mutual agreement. It was one of those times that it just seemed right. You must know what I mean. Our eyes met and it was a kissing moment."
"I can't believe you've done this." Elladan put his head in his hands and sighed. "How can you do this to Legolas?" He looked at her. "To your supposed soulmate?"
"There is nothing supposed about it!" she growled.
"And yet you just kissed that cocky, arrogant bastard?"
"It was a mistake!"
"You're damn right it was a mistake! And a bloody big one at that! You'd bet have good alibi for why you called to me like you did, or he'll get suspicious."
"Do you think I don't feel guilty? Do you think I don't regret it?"
"Did I say that?"
"No, but if you think I can blatantly lie to him about this, you're very wrong. The moment I next lay eyes on him I will feel so guilty, so ashamed that he'll feel it. I will tell him straight away. He'll know something is wrong and will not rest till he knows what or who it is. In the process of that, he'll start blaming himself, and I could not do that to him."
"You said that about cheating on him."
"Elladan, please! You must believe me! If I don't have your support through all this, I will go mad. You're the only person I can talk to, the only one I can confide in."
"Silva, I don't know if you know this already, but Legolas and I were as best friends, once, until about a century ago. But to this day, I still cannot bear to see him hurt - as you say you do - and I know that this will rip him apart. He may have done the same to you, when you-"
"If you're insinuating that I've done this for revenge, Elladan, then I will end our friendship this very instant," she hissed, standing again. "The pain I felt the day I thought Legolas had chosen Fea over me - combined with other things - was so intense, it drove me to madness. For almost four months, I was force fed and slept only because my sisters gave me sleeping remedies. My room was stripped of sharp objects because, on more than one occasion, I tried to kill myself. In having very small insight into how much I love Legolas, do you honestly think I would intentionally do that to him?" His face fell and he lowered his head.
"I'm sorry, Silva."
"So you should be! Elladan, I want you to listen very carefully to me now. Nobody will ever know how deeply my love for Legolas runs! Not even Legolas will ever fully comprehend it. It's not just in my mind and heart. It's in my blood. It's in my brain. It's in every single mental and physical part of me. It is so vast that it is beyond any wording, any imagining, any reasoning. Every part of me that stands before you is living because of him. My entire life revolves around him. I truly believe that my ONLY purpose in life, the reason I was created, was to love him in every way I can. Mentally, physically and spiritually. Even if he is aware of none of this, I know. And it is the only thing that keeps me going. I was not lying when I said to Haldir that nobody could match up to my lover's beauty inside and out. Nobody could ever better my thoughts of him. No king or even god could ever hold a higher purpose in my eyes." (E/N: Guess I'm feeling kinda expressive right now, huh? No idea where all that came from.)
"I'm sorry I doubted that, but I needed reassuring."
"But why? I sense that you have had this doubt for longer than a few minutes. I understand that what I did tonight would cause doubt for anyone, but what other reasoning do you have?"
"You have never openly proclaimed anything like that before, Silva. You have merely said you love him, which is fine in itself, except so many people claim to be in love and it turns out to be just an illusion. Then there are those who are in love, but make it out to be more than it is."
"Your point being?"
"What you have with Legolas is something totally unique. I know you, Silva, you are never at a loss for words about anything. And yet, you have just told me that words are not enough to describe the pure, burning intensity of it. What you have is raw, untapped emotion that makes the very blood flow through your veins as it does. As you speak now, the very mention of his name makes your eyes sparkle and your natural aura glow so furiously it is almost blinding." She fell to her knees again, as she had done earlier, and looked him directly in the eye. She raised a hand to his cheek.
"You do understand, don't you?"
"I have an inkling. But why do you keep this bottled up? You should express as much as you can of this, then maybe your sisters would start to comprehend. I know Lady Arian would appreciate this sort of explanation I have been graced with tonight. I cannot speak for Lady Chanilia, but I am sure she is the same."
"Maybe."
"Silva, the way you expressed that to me just then was heart-wrenching and yet filled me with such a joy I have never experienced before. I'm over- joyed at how in love you are, but sorrowful that a law forbids you from espousing him."
"I prefer not to think about that. It's easier to just try and forget that detail." He hugged her again and sighed. Her tears started again.
"What are we going to do with you?"
"He's going hate me, isn't he, El?"
"If you're love is as strong as you say, then I think he will find it in himself to forgive you. But it will take time remember, Silva. This will hurt him deeply."
"I know."
**
Legolas looked up as Elladan did when he heard the cry.
"EEEEELLLLLLAAAAADDDDDDDAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!" He knew instantly it was Silva and wondered instantly why she was calling to Elrond's son and not him. Then he remembered.
"Oh yeah," he said aloud. "She's not talking to me, is she? And I don't even know bloody well why." But despite this fact, he decided to try and find his lover because the anxiety and distress in her voice had disturbed him greatly.
As he set off on his way, he was lost in thought. But he was brought back to reality with a shock when he heard a voice in the trees to his left. He soon realised someone was singing and went to continue walking, for it was rude to listen in when someone obviously wanted to be alone. But he caught the some of the words and was intrigued.
"You fill my world with happiness,
A joy I can't explain,
Your caring words, your sweet attempts,
My heart just can't detain.
If people I hold close to me
Were flowers of my heart,
You'd bloom and outgrow all the rest
Though we be far apart.
But someone else is close to you
In ways I can't compete,
Your love is with him, only him,
And I just can't defeat.
I long to hold you safe and close,
Have you, forever mine,
And know that you return my love
Would simply be divine.
My dreams will ever hold you tight,
Where I wish and desire
Of one day when you see my heart,
You see you cause it's fire.
If pain and hurt led me to you,
I would suffer blindly,
To know you might one day see me
And heal my heart so kindly
Is what helps me defeat each day,
It helps me see them through.
And now I send this one last kiss
Softly from me to you."
Legolas walked forward slightly, when the person stopped singing, for he didn't want it to appear as though he'd been listening should the person see him. But they spoke to him, making him cringe and blush slightly.
"I know you were listening, Prince Legolas, there's no point running," they said. The Golden Prince turned and saw Haldir walking out from the trees. Legolas could barely disguise his shock. "I have feelings too, you know."
"I know, I just. . ." he trailed off.
"But don't tell anybody, all the same." Legolas smiled slightly.
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but who were you singing off?" He saw a flicker in Haldir's calm, sorrowful expression. Something that varied between both anger and joy.
"I do not mind you asking, but you will not like the answer." Legolas' brow creased with confusion. "I sung of your Lady, Legolas. Silvawen. I have fallen for her and my heart is breaking."
". . .Silva?" he echoed distantly, hardly believing his ears.
"My heart is breaking because she gave me false hope." The Prince's eyes narrowed.
"What do you mean? What false hope?"
"Well, I do not even dare to hope she would tell you herself, so I may as well tell you. She led me to believe that we could, perhaps. . . . . be more than friends. She kissed me, my lord. And it was not the kind of kiss that is often dealt to people who are merely friends." Legolas could feel his temper rising to boiling point.
"You lie!" he hissed. Haldir shrugged.
"Ask her yourself. You heard the cry she made. She was obviously distressed about something." Legolas glared at the older Elf for a moment and stormed away quickly, now all the more desperate to find the Earth Spirit.
He was shaking as he searched for her, denying any truth in Haldir's statement. 'She hates him with a vengeance,' he tried to convince himself, 'she wouldn't kiss him. And she loves me. I have nothing to worry about.' But there was still something eating away at his mind. A small seed of doubt was burying itself within him. 'Please don't let it be true.'
He looked ahead to the clearing that marked the end of the narrow pathway and saw Silva stand up. He was going to go straight to her, but her voice reached him, and he realized that someone (presumably Elladan) was sitting in front of her and she was shouting at them. He stopped, once again, to listen to what she was saying.
"Nobody will ever know how deeply my love for Legolas runs! Not even Legolas will ever fully comprehend it. It's not just in my mind and heart. It's in my blood. It's in my brain. It's in every single mental and physical part of me. It is so vast that it is beyond any wording, any imagining, any reasoning. Every part of me that stands before you is living because of him. My entire life revolves around him. I truly believe that my ONLY purpose in life, the reason I was created, was to love him in every way I can. Mentally, physically and spiritually. Even if he is aware of none of this, I know. And it is the only thing that keeps me going. I was not lying when I said to Haldir that nobody could match up to my lover's beauty inside and out. Nobody could ever better my thoughts of him. No king or even god could ever hold a higher purpose in my eyes." Legolas' jaw was pretty much on the ground. He had never heard her say anything like that before.
"I'm sorry I doubted that, but I needed reassuring."
"But why? I sense that you have had this doubt for longer than a few minutes. I understand that what I did tonight would cause doubt for anyone, but what other reasoning do you have?"
"You have never openly proclaimed anything like that before, Silva. You have merely said you love him, which is fine in itself, except so many people claim to be in love and it turns out to be just an illusion. Then there are those who are in love, but make it out to be more than it is."
"Your point being?"
"What you have with Legolas is something totally unique. I know you, Silva, you are never at a loss for words about anything. And yet, you have just told me that words are not enough to describe the pure, burning intensity of it. What you have is raw, untapped emotion that makes the very blood flow through your veins as it does. As you speak now, the very mention of his name makes your eyes sparkle and your natural aura glow so furiously it is almost blinding." She fell to her knees again, as she had done earlier, and looked him directly in the eye. She raised a hand to his cheek.
"You do understand, don't you?"
"I have an inkling. But why do you keep this bottled up? You should express as much as you can of this, then maybe your sisters would start to comprehend. I know Lady Arian would appreciate this sort of explanation I have been graced with tonight. I cannot speak for Lady Chanilia, but I am sure she is the same."
"Maybe."
"Silva, the way you expressed that to me just then was heart-wrenching and yet filled me with such a joy I have never experienced before. I'm over- joyed at how in love you are, but sorrowful that a law forbids you from espousing him."
"I prefer not to think about that. It's easier to just try and forget that detail." He hugged her again and sighed. Her tears started again.
"What are we going to do with you?"
"He's going hate me, isn't he, El?"
"If you're love is as strong as you say, then I think he will find it in himself to forgive you. But it will take time remember, Silva. This will hurt him deeply."
"I know." Legolas took this to be his cue. He walked forward towards them.
"Why would I hate you?" Silva looked up at him quickly with tear filled eyes, leapt to her feet and threw herself at him.
"Legolas, I'm so sorry!" she sobbed, holding him so tightly he could only just about breathe.
"What about, meleth-nin?"
"Everything! The way I've been treating you these passed few days, today in especial!!! I have no right! You're so good to me, and I do nothing for you."
"You're being silly, Silva."
"No I'm not! Legolas, I treat you badly. You don't deserve to suffer the way you do. I'm cruel, too cruel. I don't deserve you." However angry he was at her, he was now growing intensely worried about what she was implying.
"I don't understand what you mean, Silva. Can you please explain?" She stepped back and took a few deep, shuddering breaths. Then she looked him in the eyes.
"They say that if you truly love someone, you should set them free," she whispered. Elladan and Legolas' faces dropped. "Well, I'm setting you free, Legolas, I'm letting you go. I will not have you bind yourself to me in such an impossible relationship, especially when I don't even respect the love you return to me. I cheated on you tonight, Legolas. And of all the people I could have chosen, I chose Haldir. I do love you, with all my heart and soul, and that is why I know this is the fairest thing to do. It's the best thing I can offer you." The Prince stared blankly at her.
"I have already spoken to Haldir," he eventually said. "He told me, for he didn't think you would tell me yourself. And I overheard you telling Elladan about your love for me." Silva looked as though the whole world had left her stranded on an island of hopelessness and despair, like the foundation of her life had just crumbled away.
"Then you will know that what I am saying is for the best."
"It probably is, yes." Elladan leapt to his feet.
"Wait just one minute here!!!" he cried. "I am not letting you two throw away this union you have! Do neither of you realise how unique this love is?!?! Are you two crazy?!?! I will not stand by and watch you two lose one another!! I know what it's like to lose someone you love, and I will not stand by and let it happen to you two!" (E/N: No, I'm not talking about CelebrÃan there.)
"Thank you for that, Elladan, but if you'd let me please finish," said Legolas calmly. Elladan looked embarrassed for a moment and then nodded. "Now, as I was saying. Silva, I understand what you are saying. And I agree that it probably is for the best. BUT if you think I'm letting go of you without a fight, you've got another think coming." He seized her waist and kissed her.
"But, Legolas, I kissed Haldir!"
"We all make mistakes, Silva. I did exactly the same when I thought I'd lost you forever."
"At least you had a reason for it! And why aren't you angry at me? I don't understand." He held her close again.
"I am angry, Silva, but I love you too much to let that git come between us. What you did was a mistake and from your regret now I know you will never do it again. I may perhaps never know how much you love me, but from what you have said, I'm damn sure I feel the same thing." Elladan sighed with relief.
"You two know how to nearly kill a guy, don't you?" he said, mock irritably. "I'm going to leave you two alone now, Eru knows you need it! I am going to go and find a certain blonde git and beat the crap out of him now. See you in the morning." And with that, he left, leaving the lovers giggling in each others arms.
Some of you will recognize the poem. Whilst re-reading it earlier, I decided it was very fitting for the situation here also, so I popped it in.
There's quite a bit of repetition in this chapter. I'm trying to emphasise the pint and make sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. We see the same point of time from different perspectives, so I have to make it clear to make sure I don't confuse you.
Translations: Meleth-nin = my love
Chapter 45
Elladan had just put Kemenhin on his talan, ensured he was sleeping soundly and reached the bottom of the tree when he heard the long, loud wail.
"EEEEELLLLLLAAAAADDDDDDDAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!" He looked up sharply.
"Silva?" He determined the direction in which the cry had come from and started to run. "I shouldn't have left her alone," he scolded himself.
Eventually they (literally) ran into one another. Silva's face was damp with tears and Elladan's was etched with concern. What had upset her so much? I prayed it was nothing to do with Haldir. He hugged her tightly.
"Silva, what's wrong?!" She sobbed into his shoulder.
"You left. . . Haldir. . . we argued. . . but. . . but we. . ."
"But what? What happened, Silva?"
"We kissed, El. . ." His mouth fell open and he automatically pushed her away from him.
"YOU DID WHAT?!?!?!?!" he yelled. "Silva!!! How could you be so STUPID?!?!?!?"
"I don't know. . . it just happened." They sat down on the grass, Silva futilely wiping the tears from her face, Elladan still glaring at her. "After you went, he came to the clearing. We spoke for a while and ended up arguing. I went to walk away but he stopped me with something he said. Eventually we agreed that the past was behind us and that we'd be friends. I hugged him and then we just. . . kissed. . ."
"Silva, 'then we just kissed' is not an answer or an excuse, and you know it! What the hell made you kiss THAT!?!"
"I didn't kiss him! It was a sort of silent, mutual agreement. It was one of those times that it just seemed right. You must know what I mean. Our eyes met and it was a kissing moment."
"I can't believe you've done this." Elladan put his head in his hands and sighed. "How can you do this to Legolas?" He looked at her. "To your supposed soulmate?"
"There is nothing supposed about it!" she growled.
"And yet you just kissed that cocky, arrogant bastard?"
"It was a mistake!"
"You're damn right it was a mistake! And a bloody big one at that! You'd bet have good alibi for why you called to me like you did, or he'll get suspicious."
"Do you think I don't feel guilty? Do you think I don't regret it?"
"Did I say that?"
"No, but if you think I can blatantly lie to him about this, you're very wrong. The moment I next lay eyes on him I will feel so guilty, so ashamed that he'll feel it. I will tell him straight away. He'll know something is wrong and will not rest till he knows what or who it is. In the process of that, he'll start blaming himself, and I could not do that to him."
"You said that about cheating on him."
"Elladan, please! You must believe me! If I don't have your support through all this, I will go mad. You're the only person I can talk to, the only one I can confide in."
"Silva, I don't know if you know this already, but Legolas and I were as best friends, once, until about a century ago. But to this day, I still cannot bear to see him hurt - as you say you do - and I know that this will rip him apart. He may have done the same to you, when you-"
"If you're insinuating that I've done this for revenge, Elladan, then I will end our friendship this very instant," she hissed, standing again. "The pain I felt the day I thought Legolas had chosen Fea over me - combined with other things - was so intense, it drove me to madness. For almost four months, I was force fed and slept only because my sisters gave me sleeping remedies. My room was stripped of sharp objects because, on more than one occasion, I tried to kill myself. In having very small insight into how much I love Legolas, do you honestly think I would intentionally do that to him?" His face fell and he lowered his head.
"I'm sorry, Silva."
"So you should be! Elladan, I want you to listen very carefully to me now. Nobody will ever know how deeply my love for Legolas runs! Not even Legolas will ever fully comprehend it. It's not just in my mind and heart. It's in my blood. It's in my brain. It's in every single mental and physical part of me. It is so vast that it is beyond any wording, any imagining, any reasoning. Every part of me that stands before you is living because of him. My entire life revolves around him. I truly believe that my ONLY purpose in life, the reason I was created, was to love him in every way I can. Mentally, physically and spiritually. Even if he is aware of none of this, I know. And it is the only thing that keeps me going. I was not lying when I said to Haldir that nobody could match up to my lover's beauty inside and out. Nobody could ever better my thoughts of him. No king or even god could ever hold a higher purpose in my eyes." (E/N: Guess I'm feeling kinda expressive right now, huh? No idea where all that came from.)
"I'm sorry I doubted that, but I needed reassuring."
"But why? I sense that you have had this doubt for longer than a few minutes. I understand that what I did tonight would cause doubt for anyone, but what other reasoning do you have?"
"You have never openly proclaimed anything like that before, Silva. You have merely said you love him, which is fine in itself, except so many people claim to be in love and it turns out to be just an illusion. Then there are those who are in love, but make it out to be more than it is."
"Your point being?"
"What you have with Legolas is something totally unique. I know you, Silva, you are never at a loss for words about anything. And yet, you have just told me that words are not enough to describe the pure, burning intensity of it. What you have is raw, untapped emotion that makes the very blood flow through your veins as it does. As you speak now, the very mention of his name makes your eyes sparkle and your natural aura glow so furiously it is almost blinding." She fell to her knees again, as she had done earlier, and looked him directly in the eye. She raised a hand to his cheek.
"You do understand, don't you?"
"I have an inkling. But why do you keep this bottled up? You should express as much as you can of this, then maybe your sisters would start to comprehend. I know Lady Arian would appreciate this sort of explanation I have been graced with tonight. I cannot speak for Lady Chanilia, but I am sure she is the same."
"Maybe."
"Silva, the way you expressed that to me just then was heart-wrenching and yet filled me with such a joy I have never experienced before. I'm over- joyed at how in love you are, but sorrowful that a law forbids you from espousing him."
"I prefer not to think about that. It's easier to just try and forget that detail." He hugged her again and sighed. Her tears started again.
"What are we going to do with you?"
"He's going hate me, isn't he, El?"
"If you're love is as strong as you say, then I think he will find it in himself to forgive you. But it will take time remember, Silva. This will hurt him deeply."
"I know."
**
Legolas looked up as Elladan did when he heard the cry.
"EEEEELLLLLLAAAAADDDDDDDAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!" He knew instantly it was Silva and wondered instantly why she was calling to Elrond's son and not him. Then he remembered.
"Oh yeah," he said aloud. "She's not talking to me, is she? And I don't even know bloody well why." But despite this fact, he decided to try and find his lover because the anxiety and distress in her voice had disturbed him greatly.
As he set off on his way, he was lost in thought. But he was brought back to reality with a shock when he heard a voice in the trees to his left. He soon realised someone was singing and went to continue walking, for it was rude to listen in when someone obviously wanted to be alone. But he caught the some of the words and was intrigued.
"You fill my world with happiness,
A joy I can't explain,
Your caring words, your sweet attempts,
My heart just can't detain.
If people I hold close to me
Were flowers of my heart,
You'd bloom and outgrow all the rest
Though we be far apart.
But someone else is close to you
In ways I can't compete,
Your love is with him, only him,
And I just can't defeat.
I long to hold you safe and close,
Have you, forever mine,
And know that you return my love
Would simply be divine.
My dreams will ever hold you tight,
Where I wish and desire
Of one day when you see my heart,
You see you cause it's fire.
If pain and hurt led me to you,
I would suffer blindly,
To know you might one day see me
And heal my heart so kindly
Is what helps me defeat each day,
It helps me see them through.
And now I send this one last kiss
Softly from me to you."
Legolas walked forward slightly, when the person stopped singing, for he didn't want it to appear as though he'd been listening should the person see him. But they spoke to him, making him cringe and blush slightly.
"I know you were listening, Prince Legolas, there's no point running," they said. The Golden Prince turned and saw Haldir walking out from the trees. Legolas could barely disguise his shock. "I have feelings too, you know."
"I know, I just. . ." he trailed off.
"But don't tell anybody, all the same." Legolas smiled slightly.
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but who were you singing off?" He saw a flicker in Haldir's calm, sorrowful expression. Something that varied between both anger and joy.
"I do not mind you asking, but you will not like the answer." Legolas' brow creased with confusion. "I sung of your Lady, Legolas. Silvawen. I have fallen for her and my heart is breaking."
". . .Silva?" he echoed distantly, hardly believing his ears.
"My heart is breaking because she gave me false hope." The Prince's eyes narrowed.
"What do you mean? What false hope?"
"Well, I do not even dare to hope she would tell you herself, so I may as well tell you. She led me to believe that we could, perhaps. . . . . be more than friends. She kissed me, my lord. And it was not the kind of kiss that is often dealt to people who are merely friends." Legolas could feel his temper rising to boiling point.
"You lie!" he hissed. Haldir shrugged.
"Ask her yourself. You heard the cry she made. She was obviously distressed about something." Legolas glared at the older Elf for a moment and stormed away quickly, now all the more desperate to find the Earth Spirit.
He was shaking as he searched for her, denying any truth in Haldir's statement. 'She hates him with a vengeance,' he tried to convince himself, 'she wouldn't kiss him. And she loves me. I have nothing to worry about.' But there was still something eating away at his mind. A small seed of doubt was burying itself within him. 'Please don't let it be true.'
He looked ahead to the clearing that marked the end of the narrow pathway and saw Silva stand up. He was going to go straight to her, but her voice reached him, and he realized that someone (presumably Elladan) was sitting in front of her and she was shouting at them. He stopped, once again, to listen to what she was saying.
"Nobody will ever know how deeply my love for Legolas runs! Not even Legolas will ever fully comprehend it. It's not just in my mind and heart. It's in my blood. It's in my brain. It's in every single mental and physical part of me. It is so vast that it is beyond any wording, any imagining, any reasoning. Every part of me that stands before you is living because of him. My entire life revolves around him. I truly believe that my ONLY purpose in life, the reason I was created, was to love him in every way I can. Mentally, physically and spiritually. Even if he is aware of none of this, I know. And it is the only thing that keeps me going. I was not lying when I said to Haldir that nobody could match up to my lover's beauty inside and out. Nobody could ever better my thoughts of him. No king or even god could ever hold a higher purpose in my eyes." Legolas' jaw was pretty much on the ground. He had never heard her say anything like that before.
"I'm sorry I doubted that, but I needed reassuring."
"But why? I sense that you have had this doubt for longer than a few minutes. I understand that what I did tonight would cause doubt for anyone, but what other reasoning do you have?"
"You have never openly proclaimed anything like that before, Silva. You have merely said you love him, which is fine in itself, except so many people claim to be in love and it turns out to be just an illusion. Then there are those who are in love, but make it out to be more than it is."
"Your point being?"
"What you have with Legolas is something totally unique. I know you, Silva, you are never at a loss for words about anything. And yet, you have just told me that words are not enough to describe the pure, burning intensity of it. What you have is raw, untapped emotion that makes the very blood flow through your veins as it does. As you speak now, the very mention of his name makes your eyes sparkle and your natural aura glow so furiously it is almost blinding." She fell to her knees again, as she had done earlier, and looked him directly in the eye. She raised a hand to his cheek.
"You do understand, don't you?"
"I have an inkling. But why do you keep this bottled up? You should express as much as you can of this, then maybe your sisters would start to comprehend. I know Lady Arian would appreciate this sort of explanation I have been graced with tonight. I cannot speak for Lady Chanilia, but I am sure she is the same."
"Maybe."
"Silva, the way you expressed that to me just then was heart-wrenching and yet filled me with such a joy I have never experienced before. I'm over- joyed at how in love you are, but sorrowful that a law forbids you from espousing him."
"I prefer not to think about that. It's easier to just try and forget that detail." He hugged her again and sighed. Her tears started again.
"What are we going to do with you?"
"He's going hate me, isn't he, El?"
"If you're love is as strong as you say, then I think he will find it in himself to forgive you. But it will take time remember, Silva. This will hurt him deeply."
"I know." Legolas took this to be his cue. He walked forward towards them.
"Why would I hate you?" Silva looked up at him quickly with tear filled eyes, leapt to her feet and threw herself at him.
"Legolas, I'm so sorry!" she sobbed, holding him so tightly he could only just about breathe.
"What about, meleth-nin?"
"Everything! The way I've been treating you these passed few days, today in especial!!! I have no right! You're so good to me, and I do nothing for you."
"You're being silly, Silva."
"No I'm not! Legolas, I treat you badly. You don't deserve to suffer the way you do. I'm cruel, too cruel. I don't deserve you." However angry he was at her, he was now growing intensely worried about what she was implying.
"I don't understand what you mean, Silva. Can you please explain?" She stepped back and took a few deep, shuddering breaths. Then she looked him in the eyes.
"They say that if you truly love someone, you should set them free," she whispered. Elladan and Legolas' faces dropped. "Well, I'm setting you free, Legolas, I'm letting you go. I will not have you bind yourself to me in such an impossible relationship, especially when I don't even respect the love you return to me. I cheated on you tonight, Legolas. And of all the people I could have chosen, I chose Haldir. I do love you, with all my heart and soul, and that is why I know this is the fairest thing to do. It's the best thing I can offer you." The Prince stared blankly at her.
"I have already spoken to Haldir," he eventually said. "He told me, for he didn't think you would tell me yourself. And I overheard you telling Elladan about your love for me." Silva looked as though the whole world had left her stranded on an island of hopelessness and despair, like the foundation of her life had just crumbled away.
"Then you will know that what I am saying is for the best."
"It probably is, yes." Elladan leapt to his feet.
"Wait just one minute here!!!" he cried. "I am not letting you two throw away this union you have! Do neither of you realise how unique this love is?!?! Are you two crazy?!?! I will not stand by and watch you two lose one another!! I know what it's like to lose someone you love, and I will not stand by and let it happen to you two!" (E/N: No, I'm not talking about CelebrÃan there.)
"Thank you for that, Elladan, but if you'd let me please finish," said Legolas calmly. Elladan looked embarrassed for a moment and then nodded. "Now, as I was saying. Silva, I understand what you are saying. And I agree that it probably is for the best. BUT if you think I'm letting go of you without a fight, you've got another think coming." He seized her waist and kissed her.
"But, Legolas, I kissed Haldir!"
"We all make mistakes, Silva. I did exactly the same when I thought I'd lost you forever."
"At least you had a reason for it! And why aren't you angry at me? I don't understand." He held her close again.
"I am angry, Silva, but I love you too much to let that git come between us. What you did was a mistake and from your regret now I know you will never do it again. I may perhaps never know how much you love me, but from what you have said, I'm damn sure I feel the same thing." Elladan sighed with relief.
"You two know how to nearly kill a guy, don't you?" he said, mock irritably. "I'm going to leave you two alone now, Eru knows you need it! I am going to go and find a certain blonde git and beat the crap out of him now. See you in the morning." And with that, he left, leaving the lovers giggling in each others arms.