The Heart's Refusal to Believe – Chapter 5
Huge thanks to TZMaverick and NG for taking time to Beta read this chapter … twice!! I changed my mind after they sent me the edited version …Sorry!!
Thanks to everyone that has reviewed!!
I hope everyone has a great Christmas and Happy Holiday, please be safe if you're traveling.
Sam awoke from another nightmare where she was still not able to see his face. She gave a frustrated sigh, struggling with the image of her kidnapper that was just out of her mind's reach. She was sure that she could identify him, given enough time. She closed her eye lids tightly and focused on the dark fussy image of her kidnapper. No matter how hard she tried, the image would not come into focus.
After deciding it was useless to try and remember who he was, she sat up on the mattress not sure what time it was or what day it was. Time seemed to stand still since she had nothing to do but sleep and wait; and she hated doing both. She preferred to keep busy, to keep her mind active. Unfortunately the only thing to keep her mind occupied at the moment, were questions regarding the identity of the person that had kidnapped her and the reason for it. Her mind came up with numerous scenarios none of which she liked. The worse was the thought of them using her to get to SG-1, although, to her it seemed the most logical scenario. They had not made any type of contact with her, except to give her food. She stood up and began one of her normal activities of pacing around the small room.
She stared at the dull gray walls as she walked back and forth. The silence of the room was deafening. She couldn't hear beyond her four walls. Her footsteps echoed as rubber soles met rough concrete. She wasn't sure whether anyone was even out there until she heard the click of the lock and then the rattle of the steel trap door being opened.
Expecting another meal to be pushed through, she was surprised when a large manila envelope and an electronic device of some kind were shoved through the trap door. She jumped at the sudden noise of the device sliding across the concrete. She walked over to the door not sure what to make of the device and cautiously bent down to look at it. It didn't appear to be a threat. It looked like a small handheld keyboard, but the keys were symbols she didn't recognize.
She picked up the device and the envelope and placed them both on the desk. She opened the large envelope first and emptied the contents on the table. There were several pieces of paper and another smaller envelope.
She picked up the first letter titled, "You Future," and immediately began to read it.
Lt. Colonel Doctor Samantha Carter, if you wish to live you will do as we ask. As you are probably well aware of the device that accompanies this letter is from another planet, more technologically advanced then our own. It is a very advanced computer, much more powerful than our super computers. The symbols on the keyboard have been translated into English which you will find on another page.
Your first job is to provide the drift calculation allowing us to use this device to dial to other planets. Attached is a list of addresses, you should recognize as those found on Abydos by Dr. Daniel Jackson. With your knowledge and acquired skills over the past 8 years we expect you to provide the necessary programs to use the hand held device as a DHD. You have 7 days to complete this task. I know you wouldn't want to disappoint the alien race that asked for your assistance with this matter.
Oh and Dr. Carter if you're holding out for a rescue attempt from the SGC. I assure you, it will be a very long wait. If you have any doubts, I would suggest you view the contents in the smaller envelope. It would only be in your best interest to help us.
'Seven days that's impossible! They want me to create a portable DHD from a device I know nothing about, and a language I can't read. There is no way that I'm going to help them,' Sam thought to herself, laughing at their audacity.
'Which alien race would kidnap me to help them make a DHD? If they are so advanced then why can't they make their own DHD?' Sam was becoming annoyed that she had more questions than answers.
She opened the smaller envelope and immediately noticed a newspaper article with a headline that read, 'Local Soldier Killed in Automobile Accident.' She quickly scanned the article.
'This has got to be a trick. There is no way they could have faked my death.' Sam refused to be tricked again by her kidnappers.
She quickly picked up the photographs that were also in the smaller envelope. The blood drained from her face as she recognized Mark and his family sitting in the front row along with Pete, and her SGC family standing behind them, all staring at the flag draped coffin in front of them. There was no mistake; these were pictures from her funeral. A cold shiver ran down her spine.
"They think I'm dead," she whispered to the empty room. It wasn't a trick. Her team really thought she was dead. Sam was numb all over and she felt completely alone. They weren't missing her or searching for her; they were mourning her. The whole time she had pictured her team frantically looking for her, but in reality they were saying their goodbyes to her at a cemetery. She began to fumble through the rest of the pictures in the small envelope.
The next picture caught her by surprise. It was a photo of a dejected General O'Neill. She was shocked by the General's open display of grief … over her. A small part of her heart that she desperately tried to keep closed was leaping for joy that he appeared to still care for her deeply. She was surprised to see the softer side of him that he displayed only on rare occasions. She knew they had a deep friendship, but she couldn't help but wonder if there was still potential for more. After all it had been 4 years since he admitted to having anyfeelings for her.
She remembered how the tragic death of Janet, several months ago had brought them all a little closer to help deal with the aftermath. Just as they started to smile again, and feel joy without feeling guilt, the General downloaded the Ancient library into his mind – again. She was so scared she was going to lose him. There was so much she wanted to tell him, to share with him, but every time she tried to bring the subject up he kept stopping her mid sentence. She was frustrated and disappointed. She had finally built up enough courage to broach the subject only to be baffled by his refusal to discuss it. She wasn't sure if he no longer felt the same way, or whether he just didn't want to talk about it.
Then just as she feared she lost him, not to death, but frozen to be preserved until they could determine a way to bring him back. There she stood with her hand just inches from his face, with a lone tear trailing down her cheek. Instead of the warmth of his skin, she felt the cold solid ice that separated them. He was just out of her reach, but this time it wasn't the regulations that formed the barrier. No he had already resigned his commission, this time it was a physical barrier. One she wasn't sure how to get him out of. She knew then that she loved him, but she was unsure how he felt. Maybe when they revived him, she would finally discover if there was room for her in his life and his heart.
However, once he was revived from the frozen stasis, and she was rescued from Fifth, they returned to the SGC with promotions and new positions. She knew any future she wished for them, was just that … a wish or a fantasy. That's when she decided she needed to get on with her life and start taking her relationship with Pete a little more seriously. She wasn't getting any younger, and she couldn't hold out for a fantasy … right?
She noticed the General's arm over Cassie's shoulders. Cassie's eyes were red and swollen from crying for too long. Her heart went out to her. 'She had just lost Janet and now she thinks I'm gone too.' "Oh Cassie, I'm so sorry." She mumbled aloud as if her words could comfort the young girl. She knew the General would take care of her. He had already proven in the photo that Cassie's need to be comforted was more important to him than standing at attention in the way that his training required of him. She also knew that Daniel, Teal'c, and General Hammond would take good care of her as well.
The next photo was of Daniel, General Hammond, Mark, and his wife. They too looked like they were taking her death pretty hard. She was sure Daniel was having a difficult time dealing with her death due to his passionate and caring nature. The two of them shared a unique bond, almost like siblings. His eyes were full of tears, and she wished she could have prevented his pain of losing someone else in his life. He had lost so many loved ones over the years.
General Hammond even appeared misty eyed with his hand on Mark's shoulders. 'Oh, poor Mark. We just got our family back together, and now he thinks he has lost me for good.' Sam noticed how much older her brother looked, than the last time she saw him. She knew he was shouldering the weight of being the only living relative present. He always played the protective older brother when they were kids. They had been close then, but the overwhelming grief over their mother's death took them in separate directions. It was only a few years ago that they had found their way back into each other's lives. His wife was sitting beside him holding his hand offering him comfort and strength.
The next picture was of Teal'c. Despite his calm appearance, she could see the grief he was sharing with the others. There were no tears, but only softness expressed through his eyes. In eight years she had learned the only way to read Teal'c's emotions were through his eyes. He stood at attention behind Pete.
Pete … she had forgotten all about him. She was on her way to see him when they took her. Pete was wearing sunglasses, so she couldn't really tell how he was handling the situation. She remembered the last night on base when she saw his number on the caller id. She really didn't want to talk to him, in hindsight she wished now that she hadn't. He had a way of making her feel guilty about the amount of time she spent at work. Despite the numerous times that she had explained to him that her job was very important, it was clear that he thought she should make more time for them. She tried, but there was always something more important that came up at the SGC. That's why she left base that morning. She didn't want to argue with him. It was easier just to pacify him. Their relationship was becoming much more work and troublesome then she wanted to handle right now.
'Maybe, Pete and I need to have a talk when I get back … if I get back …no, no WHEN I get back.'
It was kind of ironic. The General who, while she was 'alive', kept his emotions and feelings securely locked away behind his military façade. Now he was openly crying beside her grave. Pete, who always told her what he was thinking and feeling, was very closed off hiding behind his sunglasses.
She went back to the first photograph that included all of them with her casket in front of them. She stared at it, fighting back tears that threatened to fall. Her heart ached for all of them, because of the pain they were all going through. She had to find a way out of here. She had to let them know she was okay.
There wasn't going to be a rescue. If she was going to get out of here, it would have to be on her own. With a new found determination she wiped away her tears and squared her shoulders as she pulled out the letters the kidnappers had given her.
The first thing she needed to figure out was who had her and what were they planning to do with the portable DHD? She was almost positive the people that took her were with the Trust, the rogue NID agents. The one thing that confused her was the fact that they already had a working DHD from the information they gathered from the SGC. When she was accidentally transported onto the Al'kesh, a Goa'uld fighter ship, a few months ago she discovered that they had a number of addresses for Goa'uld occupied planets.
Why didn't they just use that information? Why were they starting over?
There were several pages of translated texts that would help her do basic operations on the device. She was able to switch the device on and was surprised by the holographic image that displayed above the device like a screen. She began the tedious task of translating the screen. She desperately wanted Daniel there. He would have loved doing this sort of work and it would have saved her the headache in the process. She smiled at the thought of Daniel getting wrapped up in translating this new language. She would bring him coffee and serve as the sounding board whenever he got stuck on a particular word or phrase.
After several hours she was starting to understand the most basic programs. She had no intention of downloading any addresses or doing any drift calculations. She was just hoping the device would provide the clues she was looking for.
A man sat drinking his coffee as he watched the woman curiously work on the device he gave to her earlier. He wasn't sure what the device was supposed to do, therefore, he was just as curious as she was. They had sent the device and envelope and told him to give it to her and prepare for transport the following day.
He knew his part in all of this would soon be over. He was glad because he was getting too old for this. When Robert called him for one last job, he was already in the perfect position. They would never suspect him, unless they somehow got to his accomplices. If anyone was suspecting foul play they would not be looking at him, they didn't even know him.
TBC