I fought desperately for consciousness, too long had I been dreaming. They had been half true dreams, full with grotesque twists that made me long to be awake. I no longer cared I hadn't died, for in the workings of my subconscious I knew I was, I just wanted to be awake. I kept screaming, telling myself it was a dream, but between chasing dragons down the halls on Pherae's castle, and walking backwards over walls, I knew that much. There were stupid dreams, one that made be feel like laughing, and the ones that made me terrified. Those were the ones I was trying to escape.
The reedy voice bemoaning of how worthless I was, the laughing comments that I was hopeless. I struggled with the voices, and kicked furiously to the surface.
"I'm not!" I yelled angrily, coming up, and wake with a jerk. I sat shaking, and a compress fell off my head. Aches lanced down my back as the cold air touched my skin with its greedy fingers, and I shivered. The feverish feeling I was going to be sick washed over me, and I clenched the sheets in my hand. I blinked, suddenly dizzy, and collapsed back onto my bed. The room spun, and was speckled with odd lights. I pressed a hand over my fluttering heart, and tried to regain my normal vision. Slowly I pushed myself back up, and blinked away the tortuous spots.
I heard footsteps, painfully loud now that my head had started pounding. I groaned softly, and lay back down, willing the footstep to go on by, but they didn't. The door was flung open, and I heard two voices.
"Lady Lyndis beat you again, didn't she Lord Hector?" Serra piped almost smugly. I winced, and wished she would stop talking.
"So what if she did?" Hector asked defensively. I frowned at his voice, and felt the hate boiling up.
"How's my patient doing now?" Serra asked. "How did the compress get down there?"
"It fell off my head." I croaked, my throat felt raw. Serra gave a surprised squeak, and I fought the urge to grin smugly.
"Eliwood!" Hector's voice sounded joyful, relieved? "You're awake." I opened an eye, and forced myself to smile.
"How long have I not been?" I asked, pushing myself back up to my elbow. I hated him more. I had almost escaped, almost been free, but he had 'saved' me.
"Four days." Hector told me. He sat down by the bed, his face going stern. I smiled at Serra as she checked my temperature, and had me drink a foul brew of herbs.
"You're still going to need lots of rest, but at least you're awake." Her voice was still too high pitched. I nodded softly, and wished I hadn't as my vision swam.
"Nothing else should go wrong, but if anything does be sure to find me." She winked at Hector, and trotted off. I watched her go smiling, and listened to her footsteps retreat down the hall. Hector cleared his throat noisily, and I dropped the smile quickly.
"There, I'm alive, are you happy?" I asked darkly, switching elbows to face him. His face was still stern, and it made me angry.
"No." Hector said plainly. I glared at him.
"Well sorry, but that's as good as it's gonna get for you, or anybody here." I snapped. "I still hate you, don't think you can change that."
"I know." Hector snapped back. "But why do you hate me?"
"I need a reason?" I asked testily, smirking. "I thought you being you was enough of a reason for me to hate you."
"Eliwood." Hector glared, and I could see him trying to calm his temper. I chuckled.
"Aaw, is you're little 'project' turning out to be harder then you thought it would be?" I clenched my hands, resisting the nauseous feeling that was resulting from sitting up too long.
Hector looked at me sharply. "What project?"
My lips seemed to take on the sadistic grin by themselves. "Don't play dum. Wouldn't be a fine thing to add to your list of accomplishments. You saved the Marquess or Pherae from himself, and fixed his screwed up life."
"It's not like that, and you know it." Hector said levelly, still trying to keep his anger on a leash. I pushed myself up into a sitting position, and twisted to face him. Anger, and hate made me forget the chills, and nausea. I glared at him, the smile falling from my face.
"Of course it's not, it never is that way, is it?" I snapped, leaning forward. Sitting on the bed made me slightly taller then he was. "Eliwood never has it right does he?" I asked bitterly. I was sick of him, sick of his mettling. Sick of him trying to be a valiant hero when I knew he wasn't. "Eliwood's just a silly little boy who can't even walk across a room without tripping. He's just a worthless little boy, isn't he?" I clenched my hands around the sheets. My arms were shaking slightly from the strain of holding myself up.
"Eliwood, stop it, just listen-" Hector started.
"Darn you, shut up." I cut him off shoving back from him, and swinging my legs off the bed. "Heck of a time for you to start being concerned with me, just shut up. You don't know what you're talking about, and I'm not going to listen to you. Why should I? You were never there for me, you helped them! You agreed with them." I forced myself to stop, and grabbed the foot rest off the bed. I pushed myself up, and wavered slightly. Hector stood up, and I glared at him again.
"I don't understand, you're not making any sense." I could hear him grating his teeth in agitation. "Sit down and we'll-"
"'We'll talk it out?'" I sneered. "Dang, wouldn't those have been nice words to hear before. So tell me, how many people have you told, hm? How many people do you have watching with baited breath for the next part in this gruesome tale you've unfolded?"
"I haven't told anyone." Hector snapped, losing his hold on his temper slightly. "I didn't tell anyone Eliwood, and I won't. Not if you cooperate and tell me what's wrong."
"Oh, blackmail, I see." I tensed. How could he want to talk now? Why didn't he want to talk then? When I needed it? When I wasn't so far gone. It scared me now, remembering the dagger's edge against my skin, but it was alluring still. I couldn't truthfully say if I had the choice I wouldn't do it again. I would, I knew it. "I see how it is, if you can't coax it out of me, might as well bully it out." I took a few shaky steps, and grabbed the table for support. "It's all the same."
"Would you stop it." Hector snapped. he was standing in front of me now. "I don't now what the heck you're talking about, but I'm just trying to help you." I felt more sick now, and my legs threatened to give way beneath me. It was too much activity too soon.
I chuckled mirthlessly. "You're a really good actor, saying you don't know with such a straight face. Who taught you to lie so well? Uther maybe?" My words were meant to make him angrier, to see what he'd do. I wanted him to get mad. Why, I didn't know. "Or did your parents teach you that? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, lying is a skill very lord must know, and you've just won the prize for doing it most convincingly." I kept my voice smug, just the right tone to entice him to anger. Hector glared, making it obvious how hard it was for him to hold his temper. I smirked widely. That was it, get angry. Hector reacted faster then my tired body would take in.
His hard, gauntleted hand collided with my cheek, and My legs gave out. It fell hard onto the floor, and back onto my elbows. Everything was black, and threatened to leave me there. Everything filtered back in slowly, and Hector grabbed me by my collar. He pulled me up so I was sitting.
"I don't know what you're talking about, or why you're saying I'm lying. I've never lied to you, and I never will. Even if you never thought of me that way, I'm your friend, and I'm going to help you, no matter what it takes." His voice was serious, cold, and underlaid with smoldering anger. Even the way he sat spoke of anger. I glared at him, and kept my mouth firmly shut. There was an amazing amount of hurt in his eyes Something that shouldn't have been there. I weakly grabbed his wrist, and tried to make him let go. He looked at me in the same manner, as if I wasn't trying to make him let go of me.
"Let go, you're not my friend, and I don't care what you say." I snapped. Something fought to get out. The held in thoughts, words, and anger all fought against each other. Something struggled to tell Hector everything. I fought against it, he knew, he was just saying he didn't. Why was it so hard to keep everything down? Ever since I had dropped my mask in front of him it had become a losing battle to control my words, and thoughts.
"Is that really true?" Hector asked, his voice low; anger nearly suppressed. "Now look, lying on the floor can't be good for your fever."
His words rang in my head, chasing themselves in circles. Was it true? Was I lying to myself? "Darn it, leave me alone." I glared at him, and tried to pry his fingers off my shirt. It was hopeless.
"I'm not going to leave you alone, and I'm not leaving till you tell me why you hate me." Hector said with relative calmness. Hitting me must have done wonders for his temper, as it had done wonders for my head. It pounded with renewed fury, and I was now plagued with the spots across my vision I had before.
"Well you'll be here a long while because I'm not telling you something you already now." I snapped. Hector released my shirt, and I fell back onto my elbows. My vision black out again and slowly filtered back in.
"I still don't know what you're talking about, I don't know why you hate me. That's what I'm trying to find out." Hector looked me over critically. "You still look like crap."
I stared at him, taken aback by his sudden switch of topic, but I managed another glare quickly. "Just go away. I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's darn help!"
Hector laughed, but he wasn't amused. "If there's anything you need it's help, but you just don't want to get it, do you? Isn't it easier to live in your own world?"
His words were more confusing then ever, tossing my mind into turmoil. "I hate you. I hate you all."
"You hate everyone? What about your mother? What about Lord Elbert? Did you hate him?" Hector's eyes were dark, unreadable.
I choked out a laugh, and my lips twisted into some resemblance of a smile. "No, I didn't.." My voice was soft, I didn't want to speak of my father. "Not completely I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to hate him, hate the very person who had...." I shook my head. "Stop it. Just stop it."
"Eliwood, what happened?" The concern was so genuine that I almost believed it. I almost thought he hadn't been lying, but how could he be? How could he have not seen everything that had happened? How could he have been that blind? How could he have missed something that obvious? Hector seemed to be thinking about something.
"What did I say that was a lie? What would your parents tell you if you were?" Hector asked, his voice still sounding concerned.
I tensed. I was shivering now, and fighting to keep myself up right. "Why do you care? Why do you care now? Why couldn't you have cared about it then!" I pushed myself up, and coughed. My left arm gave out, and I was surprised to feel Hector grab my arm.
"Alright, you're getting off the floor." Hector muttered gruffly. "Her Lord and Liege or not Serra will have my head if your fever gets any worse."
I was still coughing, unable to form a reply. I glared at him as he picked me up, and carried me back to the bed. I felt like a child being tucked in by a nurse. I fought off his attempts weakly, hindered by my coughing. The fit finally subsided, leaving me gasping for air. He brushed his bangs back from my face, feeling my forehead. He walked away, and I could hear him wetting the compress again. The cool cloth was lain on my forehead.
"Maybe this is too much excitement for you." Hector murmured. There was a soft knock on the door, and Hector moved to answer it. I quieted my breathing, and winced at the sharp pain that had started in my chest.
"Then he is awake?" Lyndis asked form the door.
"Yes, he's awake now." Hector spoke softly.
"That's wonderful. Oh, and the Tactician wants you." Lyndis hardly made any noise as she walked in. "I'll stay here with Eliwood, you go ahead."
There was a pause, and then Hector spoke lowly. "Alright, but I'll hurry." I knew those words were meant more for me. To tell me he still wasn't done with me. Lyndis walked over to the bed, and sat down in Hector's chair. Her smile was a mix of relief, and concern.
"I'm glad you're awake." She said. "You gave us all a scare. Marcus will be most relieved to here you're well, Lowen as well."
"I'm sorry to worry so many people." I managed. My voice was weak, and still held a slight twinge of pain.
"Maybe you shouldn't be talking yet." Lyndis mused. Her long green hair swished as she cocked her head. Her earrings shifted with a slight jingle, and for a moment the light was at such an angle she looked almost angelic. I shook away such thoughts quickly.
"Ninian looked relieved to know you where awake as well." Lyndis intoned meaningfully. I looked at her carefully, and steadied my voice before answering her.
"She was?" I tried my best to sound surprised, like I didn't know why. I did, it was obvious, but I couldn't help hating her as well.
"Yes." Lyndis still looked worried. Much more then she should have been.
"Lyndis, is something else wrong?" I asked, forcing concern into my voice. The act caused another round of coughs, forcing Lyndis to retrieve a cup of water from somewhere to calm it.
"You should stop talking." Lyndis commanded sternly. I looked at her pointedly. "Right, well it might not be anything to worry about, but when Kent, and Sain were scouting around outside the village they saw a group of bandits. It really could be nothing, but with all the surprise attacks that have been launched on us I'm beginning to wonder."
I nodded. At least we were in a favorable spot. Villages were easy to defend, but it posed a problem. There would be local people to worry over, and, of course, our fight would have to be fought in such a way it didn't endanger the townsfolk.
"But don't worry, you just need to get better." Lyndis forced a light tone onto her voice that was wavery, and unused. I could see the apprehension in her eyes. I bit back a laugh, and nodded. She smiled, and seemed to drift into her thoughts.
A/N: And so we take another baby step forward. ; But guess what! Chirstmas holidays are coming up, meaning no school, and more time to write!-I hope!- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry for the 'round about way things are going, and how confusing everything is. ; I shall advance our plot further quickly. Oh, Lyndis and Hector are playing Go, -supposedly-! Yeah for TRFiD Queen for figuring that out! Review onegai! Jaa ne!