In a Passing Dream
By: Icesyvey
I see eyes the color of the midnight sky; they hold such sadness and longing. Hair as black as the darkest sins; it lifts on a strong wind. I hear a voice faintly carried on the wind; it is calling my name.
"Mom!"
I blink and look to the small teenager next to me, "What is it?" I ask my teenage daughter, as the place and people around me came back into focus.
My daughter Avery sighs at me, "You were staring off into space. I just wanted to let you know that you were getting the wrong vegetable."
That's right... we were grocery shopping.
I look around, hearing the noise of people talking, the step of different shoes as they met the cold tile of the grocery store floor. I flush red as I realize I was reaching for something that both my daughter and husband were allergic to. I put the can of string beans back on the shelf.
"Come on Avery... We're almost done then we can get some ice-cream." I say, as I turn the shopping cart and continue down the aisle.
My daughter perks up at the promise of ice-cream, but I could feel her concerned eyes on my back as I put the groceries into the cart. I stare at the cat food, wondering what to buy Luna. The old cat had been with me since I was a child, and would probably not be with me much longer. I smile as I lift some gourmet cat food into the cart and move towards the front of the store to the checkout lines.
"Usagi..." came a faint call.
I freeze in place, my eyes widening as I turn, looking around nervously but no one seemed to have heard it. I felt a small breeze on my neck and I shiver as I pull out my checkbook to pay. My husband would not be happy that I had spent over a hundred dollars on food.
I walk out of the store with Avery and look around before making my way to the old blue station wagon. I open the hatch, and together with Avery, loaded the food into the back.
"Usagi..."
I jump and look around again, starting to feel very foolish and equally as scared. Then I saw them again... Eyes the color of midnight, and hair the color of the heart's darkest desires. A voice that carried my name on the wind. A longing in my heart I could not explain, I quickly slam the back of the station wagon closed and move quickly to the driver's side.
I stare dumbly at the locked door, then remembering that Avery was driving, I flush red once more and nod to my worried daughter as I walk around the car to the passenger's side and wait for Avery to unlock the doors. Honestly, in my current state of mind we would've ended up in an accident.
Avery climbs into the car and starts the engine, and as she slowly pulls away from the parking lot, I let my eyes close into a restless sleep.
"Usagi..."
My eyes snap open and I stare into my husband's concerned eyes, his grey eyes meet my blue as I realize that I had been sitting with my fork half way to my mouth for awhile now. Avery was sitting next to me, her eyes, so like my husband's, looking at me worriedly.
"I'm sorry... "I started. "I'm really sorry Shinji." I said and stood, fleeing from the table.
I throw myself on the bed I share with Shinji, and stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Luna jumps onto the bed next to me and sat on my stomach, purring for a moment before she lies down. I stroke a finger through her soft black fur as I stare at the ceiling. Slowly, my eyes drift close and I fall into a light slumber.
"Usagi..."
Eyes the color of midnight... longing on the wind.
I shoot upright in bed gasping for breath, tears streaming down my cheeks as I fought for control of my breathing. Shinji was next to me, sleeping deeply still. He had fallen asleep with his glasses on again. I reach over and remove them, folding them gently and I put them on his nightstand, then I lean down and kiss his forehead gently before getting out of bed.
I pull on my dressing gown and walk out onto the balcony on our house. The balcony had been Shinji's present to me for our ten year anniversary. I look up at the pregnant moon and tried to figure out what was wrong with me.
"Usagi..."
The wind carried my name and the touch of caressing fingers. I shiver and pull my robe closer to my slender frame. Eyes the color of midnight skies, hair the color of the heart's darkest desires. Longing so deep it brought fresh tears to my eyes and wrenched my stomach, causing me to fall to my knees.
"USAGI..." The wind screamed louder and I throw my head back, screaming along with it, tears streaming down my cheeks.
I had no idea what was happening, perhaps I was going insane. Suddenly, I could remember everything with clarity. Eyes the color of midnight skies, belonging to skin that shines pale in the night. Hair as black as the heart's darkest desire, a smile that could make my heart melt.
I see those midnight eyes staring blankly up at me, as blood pools around the owner's body, as breath rattled from his chest. I look into the midnight depths as they stare blindly in death, then a gust of wind carried me away.
"Usagi…"
I came to, sitting on my balcony, tears still streaming down my cheeks. Luna was clutched in my arms as I look up at moon once more. A name sat on the tip of my tongue, hovering a moment before falling to the night sky.
"Mamoru..." The night seemed deathly still for a moment then the wind whirled and hissed, branches snapped.
"Usagi?" Shinji's voice comes from the bed.
"Coming." I say, as I stood and ran shaking hands down my robe, Luna moving in front of me as I walk back to the bed.
I curl up on my side and Shinji moves closer, holding me.
"Usagi, is something the matter?" he asks in a soft voice
I shake my head and snuggle closer to his warmth.
"Just a passing dream..." I say softly
That night I had many dreams, all about the same thing.
-dream-
I look around me cautiously, my long blonde hair, which I normally left down, was up in two pigtails. The clothes I wore were the oddest I had ever seen, and yet they seemed right. I had on a blue pleated mini-skirt, a pair of thigh-high red boots, and a white leotard. A large red bow adorned the back of the skirt and the front of the top.
Near me, as if waiting for my orders, were four women, a man and surprisingly, Luna. The women had on similar outfits to mine in various colors and styles; one wore green, while another wore blue, there was a woman in red, and a woman in orange. The only male in the group was dressed in what to be a formal tuxedo, complete with tails, which I thought was odd. I look around again, trying to figure out what was going on.
A sudden noise draws my attention to in front of me, and a large group of what appeared to be monsters, were charging at us. I watch as the monsters come closer, my breathing quickens and my heart pounds, not in fear but in excitement. I was excited, and the women around me surprisingly began to attack them using the forces of nature; water, air, fire, light. I watched as the monsters fell one after another.
I could feel something well up inside me, foreign and frightening. My body almost hummed with the feeling, and unexpectedly, as a monster approached me, there was a brilliant flash of light and it burned to dust at my feet. It took me a moment to realize that the light had come from me. I stood there dumbfounded when the man in the tuxedo swept me into his arms and jumped, avoiding a rather large explosion.
"Usagi, pay attention!" the man scolds as he deflected another attack with his cane.
I frown, wondering how this man knew my name and yet it seemed right that he did. And I was even more surprised that I knew the name of the man behind the mask, that he was Mamoru. I look to the fighting women; the one in red was Rei; the one in green was Makoto; the one in blue was Ami, and the last one in orange was Minako.
I blink, realizing the man was looking at me oddly and I flush, then my eyes widen as another monster tried to attack the man from behind. A flash of the same bright light from before and the monster crumbles to ash at our feet.
"Sailor Moon!" someone shouts.
Glancing around I could see that the women were looking at me, as if waiting for me to do something. Abruptly, an explosion shook the ground at my feet and I was sent flying, landing then rolling a good distance away.
"Sailor Moon!"
"Usako!"
Voices shout as I sit up, dazed, and I could feel something hot and sticky running down the side of my face. I could see the women still fighting though they glance fleetingly back at me every once in awhile. The man… Mamoru was running toward me, and once again he scooped me up into his arms and avoided an attack. Or tried to. I watch in horror as a large explosion behind him sprayed his blood in a wide arc.
I feel his arms tighten around me as we move through the air, hear his anguished cry as he turns and lands on his damaged back to keep me from getting injured. I roll off him but he laid there eerily still, blood beginning to pool beneath him and moving towards me. I crawl on hands and knees to him, trembling. The sounds of battle could still be heard but I was deaf to it, as tears ran hot down my cheeks as I looked at Mamoru.
He slowly lifts one of his white gloved hands, now soaked in his own blood and some of mine, and removes the white mask from his eyes and looks up at me with eyes the color of the sky above us. A dark velvet blue, eyes that were quickly losing the spark of life.
"Usako..." he whispers as his breath gurgled wetly in his throat.
I scream, knowing that the man before me was dying. I grasp one of his hands in my own and cried. I cried long after the breath had escaped his body, I cried until a chorus of female screams brought me back to myself.
-end dream-
I shot up in bed, my breath stuck in my throat, late morning sunlight spilled through the windows. I knew that Shinji and Avery had already left for work and school and hot tears fall down my cheeks. I remembered; the eyes I had been seeing, the longing... the voice on the wind.
I look to the old black cat that was curled, sleeping on top of the blankets and wonder if she remembers any of it. I stand and pace back and forth for a few moments, with all the strange things I had been hearing and seeing and feeling whirling around in my head. They had been my memories returning on that fateful day over twenty years before.
"You remember..." came a melodious voice from the bed.
I spin to see Luna sitting on the bed looking at me, and I knew the cat had spoken, but I couldn't bring myself to respond so I just nodded.
"Come with me then... there is a place you should visit," the cat said, then started down the hall.
I nod again and follow the cat outside, and awhile later, I find myself in a local cemetery. Luna runs along the rows of gravestones until she stopped at one that was over grown and had mini ivy climbing over it. I pause a few steps back, then walk forward and kneel by the stone. It read:
Mamoru Chiba
Tears began to flow again and I could not stop them. I remember how I had once been the soldier of justice, how I had fought evil monsters and people for the love and justice of the planet. I remember how I had found a man that I had at one time planned to marry; Mamoru Chiba. I remembered the night he died.
I had walked away after the battle, and I didn't look back; I hadn't been able to. I never spoke with or saw my friends again, nor did I go to Mamoru Chiba's funeral. I had made myself forget my past, because it had been too painful to remember.
I stand slowly, and look down at the grave for a long while, then I turn and started the walk back to the car, Luna at my feet.
Four women were walking toward me, and as I passed them I could feel their heads turn. I knew without looking who they were; Rei, a woman with black hair, Minako, a bubbly blonde, Makoto, a brunette that made the best pastries, Ami, a woman with strange naturally blue hair who had once been one of the smartest people she had known.
The moment it took for me to get past them seemed like an eternity in which they stopped and watched me walk down the steps to the parking lot. I did not look back, for I did not dare, and my past was nothing more than a passing dream... That was all that part of my life would ever be. I climb into the car and wait on Luna, who jumps through the passenger side window. I turn the keys in the car and drive home, to where my daughter waited, to where my husband loved me. I was glad that I could remember my past, but I never wanted to dwell on it.
Luna never spoke again after that day... and perhaps that was for the best.