Authors Note, Ok so this chapter is more showing the domestically challenged side of Hoot and all men. For the future reference this fic isn't gonna be full of violence, don't get me wrong there will be some later on, but I'm trying to aim this at a new direction. Anywho, The shoe situation was based on my friend Denise whose husband actually went in her closet and counted her shoes. What possessed him to do this, we aren't sure. But it led to a fight. A fight that is still memorable. Anywho, enjoy.

"Darlin you look swell, lets go. The boys are waiten." I pleaded for what seemed like the millionth time that hour. How the hell she could spend an hour picking an outfit to wear and doing her hair, then came the shoe selection.

While she looked like sex on two feet in the two hundred dollar jeans, that's right, two hundred dollars for a pair of jeans. I didn't want to know. I had made the mistake of counting all her shoes once. 69 pairs of shoes. That lead to an argument and I didn't get any for three weeks, and then I got shipped out. Never again will I ever question her wardrobe. That was the longest three months of my life. After that she could buy whatever the fuck she wanted for all I cared. I may be a proud, but I ain't stupid. When she's mad she locks the bedroom door and doesn't let me in the bathroom. I didn't even get to see her naked ass. It was horrible.

Diana came out of her walk in closet, with what appeared to be identical shoes on her feet. My eyes traveled over the jeans and the dark green shirt thing she wore. There was a fancy name that I already forgot. But damn it looked good. Not whorey either, hugged her in all the right places, it didn't show skin but left everything to the imagination. Well it showed her arms, but nothin else. Them jeans looked nice to. Diana looked down at her feet, "Which shoes do you like better?"

I sat up and looked from the foot of the bed. Trying my best to tell them apart, so I asked, "I like'em both?"

"One is Charcoal and one is Ebony."

Ohhhh, well that clearly made the difference. So I looked harder while Diana was clearly torn. They were both black fuck me shoes, or stilettos as she called them, they could double as a weapon.

"The left," I told her.

Diana bit her bottom lip, "You Sure?"

I nodded.

Diana then said those magic words, "Ok. Did you leave a note for dad?"

Thank God she was done, "Yeah. The man won't be back from his poker game till like three. We'll be back fore then." I'll have got me some by then. I watched her walk back in the closet, those shoes were a gift from God. I'd have to thank him when I died.

Then she made me the happiest man alive, she said from in the closet, "Why don't you go start the car, I'll be right down."

When she finally came down we were only an hour late. I made up time on the way. Lambross's directions were worth dirt but we found the little place where we were gonna have dinner.

Diana made a face when she saw the sign but didn't say anything. I parked the jeep in-between Lambross and Sanderson's, I literally made my own spot. We went inside the little restaurant, there was no theme. Just a plain place, though there was a staircase in the middle of the place that lead upstairs. Whatever was upstairs had their stereo blaring.

Of course we were the last ones to take a seat.

I smacked Lambross upside the head, "Your directions suck."

His wife then smacked him upside the head, "I told you to let me give them directions, asswipe."

She was just a lovely woman, Greek, she knew everything. If you don't believe me just ask her. Humera was also there, eating all the rolls it appeared. Diana took the empty seat next to her and they started to talk about the baby. Sanderson just grinned at me while I took my seat beside Diana at the long table, which we filled. Some of the other guys had brought their own wives. Once a week or two we got together like this.

Sam's wife leant over him and asked Diana, "Where'd you get those shoes?"

She waved her hand, "These old things? I got them down in Atlanta a few years ago."

Which in Diana talk meant she starved for three weeks to afford them.

If the waitress didn't show up I would have laughed. But I was thirsty, I looked over her uniform, which made the women at Hooters look over dressed. It was then I had a bad feeling about letting Lambross pick the restaurant. Beside me Diana just smiled. I had a really bad feeling.

Then I noticed she had a metal pail under her arm, somehow I doubted there were more rolls in that. She smiled brightly, "Hi. I'm Amber and I'll be your Hostess tonight. I see we have a large group, Hi Mr. and Mrs. Lambross."

I narrowed my eyes, Amber, our Hostess winked at them, not Lambross but them.

I had a really bad feeling.

"Tonight our specials are Salmon steaks with a baked potato, asparagus and another vegetable or rice. The drink of the night is a Bahama Mama. Now while you look at your menus it's customary to put your car keys in the bucket for later."

What? Even Sanderson was confused, I shook my head, "Naw, we got some designated drivers."

Amber, looked puzzled.

Along with half our table.

Diana leant over and slid her hand across my thigh, she whispered in my ear, "Don't put your keys in there."

Well I wasn't planning on it, but from mere curiosity I asked, "Why?"

She smiled and whispered, "This is a swingers club."

For a moment I just stared at her, the smile on her face was priceless. I then looked around the restaurant and noticed some of the tables were empty of people but had food, others had couples seated at them, openly flirting with one another. Then I realized why there was music on upstairs.

Diana then whispered in Humera's ear, the woman's eyes popped, she then whispered to Sanderson while I decided what I was going to do with Lambross, that Greek Bastard.

Sanderson in turned whispered in Jose's girlfriend's ear, it worked its way up to Lambross's wife Nina, she looked at her husband, "You didn't tell them where we were going? Shithead!"