A/N: I had a bit of trouble writing this... Hope you likey? Enjoy…)
Cat – a – Strophe!
Chapter 10
Something was rumbling somewhere off to his left. He couldn't see yet, but at least he was conscious of his surroundings, 'aware like a blind', he muttered under his breath. He was lying rather roughly on sand, where on earth was he? And the warm air trickled his skin. A bird – a gull? – screeched in the distant. The air smelled of… salt?
What was he doing on a beach? Was that the ocean rumbling somewhere off to his left?
He felt her long before he heard her crunching footsteps, he felt he could almost feel her looming shadow.
"Well, well. Starting to come back, are we?"
"Minerva, you're in so much trouble, if I were you I would be afraid just to breathe…" he threatened dangerously, he was getting tired of this game of theirs. Of course, she didn't follow the rules either; he had such an urge to 'do' something horrible to her.
"Albus, dear, now do not do anything hasty you will regret later…"
"I'll regret if I don't take a swing at you with my wand, I'll regret not strangling you on the spot, I'll regret not…"
Something heavy sat itself on his stomach, wriggling a bit, and then Minerva poked her finger at his chest: "Now, Mister, don't jump to any hasty conclusions, and may I remind you who's on top!"
"Isn't it enough you have me blinded, or do you have to ruin my breathing! You know, you're not exactly weightless!"
"Take that back, you worseless pile of hippogriff crab," her voice lowered but still her quiet voice felt like accusing screaming.
"Sorry, dear little weightless leaf," he mocked her, cursing himself for his stupid Gryffindor courage, why couldn't he just shut up.
"Albus, will you please just shut up, I'm trying to get your sight back, or do you prefer lying here for the rest of you petty life," her voice held something different now, perhaps a smile, and he felt her fingertips on his eyelids "now, count to thirteen, think of your favourite flower, and then count to thirteen again."
He did as instructed, finding it ridiculous, and opened his eyes when she told him to.
The sunlight burned sharp into his eyes, painfully he jumped up, ran around in circles, waving his arms around in flapping gestures.
Minerva watched him from a position in the sand, where he had pushed her away. She cheeked her watch after a little time, and returned to watching him. After fifteen minutes of this mad chicken imitation, she decided she had had enough.
"Albus!"
"Aaarrgh!"
"ALBUS!"
"Aaaarrrggh!"
"A-L-B-U-S!"
"Aaaarrgggh, I'm dying…"
"ALBUS DUMBLDORE!"
"Aaaaarrgggh, I'm faaaading, I'm dyyyeing…"
"ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE!"
"Waaaaaaaaaah…"
"SHERBET LEMON," that got his attention, finally!
"Where?"
"Nowhere, you-you slumbering … CARROT," she snapped at him. Typically, the only thing that man was interested in was his belly!
"Well, you lying little piece of…flower, heh heh, so Minerva, have I ever told how much I appreciate you?"
"What do you want?"
"Nothing, dear, what makes you think I want anything, I was just about to tell you how lovely you look and I love the way you…"
"What do you want, Albie?"
"My Sherbet Lemon! It's mine by right, I bought it myself, not you! You stole it, and you should be grateful I have decided it will not affect your next paycheck, so give it over, Minnie!"
"You've never been good at blackmailing, Dumbly, why, if I wanted to, I could become Headmistress before you could stutter 'Minnie'," she grinned at his dumbfounded expression.
"How so? Minnie," he stood a few paces away, looking around the small island she had put them on, a small island somewhere Merlin knows, a bloody island full of sand, trees, some rugged peak in the middle, and lots and lots of ocean so far he could see.
"I have several discriminating evidence on each of the governors…"
"Really?"
"Really!"
"How do you expect to blackmail anyone, Minnie, with no pokerface?"
"I have a pokerface, see," she scrunched her face up.
"No, you just look like an exploding tomato, sorry, dear," he did a little summersault, and another one, till he reached the shoreline.
"Albus, I DO have a pokerface, I do… Albus, will you listen, I DO have a… What are you doing?" the last came out a bit frantically, but she didn't care, perhaps the elixir in the last candy had done something to his brain…
"Cheeking the water," he replied vaguely
"Uh, are you going swimming?"
"Not in a million years, no, I'm trying to figure out our location, Min," he stuck his toes in the water, wriggling them, and was beside her in a second.
"What have you done?" he sounded nervous.
"Nothing," she tried to appear calm.
"How come then, I have no clue about where we are, and I can't apparate back to Hogwarts?"
"I've put a spell on this island, in a 10 kilometres radius," she smiled challengely.
"What kind of catastrophic spell have you doomed me to?"
"A non-magic spell, Sir," she laughed at his strange expression, but soon it became a frightful scream as she etched away from his eyes, now seeming the fitting image of a thunderstorm.
"What have you done, silly witch! How am I to get off this bloody forsaken island?"
"Well, the spell wears off, in… 10 days," she backed away from him, looking over her shoulder to estimate how far away the forest was.
"So, why have you planned for us to be stranded, for 10 days…?"
"You make it sound so dreadful, Albus! This is really a lovely chance for you to relax, and get away from all your worrying duties…"
"MINERVA!" She had done IT again. The last time, she had locked him in his office, refusing to let him out before he had promised to take some days off, the worst of it; everyone had sided with her, even the paintings of former headmasters and headmistresses. Obviously she had done something similar, again, though this time it seemed rather catastrophic.
She had jumped at his tone of voice, and was now looking darkly at him from under long lashes.
He schooled his voice, and asked calmly – to him he sounded calmly, but she flinched nonetheless: "So, all this stealing my Sherbet Lemon, was from the start, just a way to get me stranded on a bleeping island, so I can take some days off, vacation?"
"Yes…"
He sighed. Wonderful. Stranded for 10 days.
"Can I then at the least have my Sherbet Lemon now?"
"Of course, here you…"
Rumble
"What was that? Minerva?"
RUMBLE
"Uh-Oh," he followed herwide eyes, and his fell on that rugged peak, where smoke nowwas rising out, the whole island seemed to be heaving, with great effort he gathered his wits, and looked away from the erupting volcano.
"Of all bloody islands, you had to pick a bloody one, with a bloody volcano, woman!" He screamed, but Minerva looked lost, her face ashen, and her senses seemed to have gone on holiday.
He grabbed her arm, and yanked her rather roughly toward the edge of the beach. He went till he was surrounded by water on all sides, down from his middle, Minerva stood rigidly beside him, she didn't like water that much. Throwing her over his shoulder he waded a few feets more, and threw her in the water with a great splash. That seemed to bring back his Minerva.
"AargH! What do you think you're playing at! I can't stand water! I'm drenched!"
He ignored her, at least for now, and dragged her along with him, still farther out.
"We have to get to the Boundary of your Spell, before the volcano erupts, or you and me are finito, darling," that seemed to shut her up.
But still.
"I don't swim Albus!"
"Oh yes you do!"
"No, earnestly, I suck at it," she sighed loudly.
"I do not care, as long as you move to get the hell out of here…"
For a time she said nothing, it was just the two of them wading through water reaching their necks. Albus felt his anger slowly ebb away, it was not the woman's fault that everything she planned ended up a catastrophe. He loved her no less.
"Minerva, can I have my Sherbet Lemon now?" He really felt he deserved it, and he could think of nothing better to do, than pop the candy in his mouth, savouring the sweet taste he loved so…
She turned her head, and he saw her chewing on something, a pained look upon her face. That better not be his Sherbet Lemon!
"I was hungry," she even dared to give him a small apologetic smile.
"Swim, woman, SWIM!"
THE END!
A/N: Finally! Now, I'm not sure this is all the ending you wanted, I'm not sure it's the ending I wanted, but the more I read it, the more I like it. So, that's the end of my little parody of our favourite couple…
I have to say though, to ease your minds, they do get out of it, without being fatally hurt )
I would like to thank, wow that sounds like celebrity speech, anyone who has ever reviewed, you guys are the best, and all your wonderful comments has kept me going with this utterly silly story/parody… ) So, thank you from my heart.
Darlingddearheart, Angeldust-aka-Evilwoman, Alrasha, Morgana-Alex, Catwoman99, Leviathan Ashes, MooseDeVita, Portkeys Miss-Mione, Daydreamer1127, bookmnjan, Queenie-97, Mugglemin, Intelligent Witch, Talons, xxWebsFromAllTheSpidersx, Kichikitsune, Kelenariel Khelekkir, CheddarTrek, Cecikun, Petriebird18, Ginger newts, Banana Princess, TheNash, Ennui-EAF, Peaceful Violence, Tabby Bee, TabbyKit, Quill of Minerva, JoanneM, Kelsea Scarlett, Augusta, Lady Urguntha, TartanLioness, Lady-jolly, Rikki8879, ADandMM4eva, Alesia G, Ariana the musical genius, MysticMusc, Aurinko, Miniminnie, minni, Helen, Fluff Anonymous, bloody mary, blacky, star, fan, ichigos, Elena, sevi, puppyheart, Gothic Minerva, Kidarock…
Hope I got all of you )
Pal, cya soon )