Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter belong to respectively
J.R.R. Tolkien and J.K. Rowling...
Harry: Now just hold on one cotton-pickin' minute! I don't belong to anyone...except maybe Cho... **falls into wishful daydream and wanders off to find the Ravenclaw common room**
Frodo: And...uh...what he said! No one owns me either-THE RING IS CALLING ME!!!!! YESSSS PRECIOUS MASTER!!!! **puts on the Ring and disappears**
...Riiiigght. Anyway, I don't own these characters, I just torture them.
A/N: And now, finally, the moment you've been waiting for has arrived...Chapter Two is up at last! After that loooooooong week of waiting, you finally get some of your burning questions answered.
Legolas: What about my burning question?
What question?
Legolas: You know, at the end of the last chapter? When I couldn't figure out what a movie was?
Oh. Well, that *particular* question isn't answered. It's more sort of general burning questions...you know, "What will happen to our intrepid trio?" "How will they survive at Hogwarts?" and "Will Aragorn ever wash his hair?"
Legolas: You're right, that is a burning question. I'll shut up now, shall I?
It would be greatly appreciated, yes. And now, our Feature Presentation.
People With Arrows Make Natural Chick Magnets
Before he opened his eyes, Legolas could tell several things about his surroundings. The smells were those of a forest, and he could hear people nearby. Knowing this much, he decided to find out more, so he opened his eyes-and screamed.
There was, of course, a perfectly legitimate reason for this. The reason was the two teenage human girls who were bent over him, their faces about six inches from his own. They were screaming too, but apparently not from shocked surprise.
"Oh my gosh, he's even hotter with his eyes open!" one of them shrieked. She bent closer and Legolas cringed away from the infatuated look in her eyes. He looked around desperately for help, but Aragorn and Gimli were still out cold. He was hopelessly outnumbered.
"Can I, can I, uh, have a date with you?" the other girl stammered, an identical lovestruck expression on her face.
"Shut up, Lavender! I saw him first-he's *mine!*"
"No way! It's not fair, Parvati! You always get the best guys! Let me have a chance," Lavender wheedled frantically. After watching them for a few seconds, Legolas decided teenagers were much more fearsome fighters than orcs. He was getting really scared when he was saved by a huge giant crashing through the underbrush, followed by about a dozen more kids.
[Salvation,] Legolas thought gratefully. [For now, at least. But where am I?] He managed to pull himself to his feet, but that was really depressing, as it only drove home the fact that the guy was still twice as tall as he was. Instead, he concentrated on the rush of self-esteem that accompanied being much taller than the skinny dark-haired kid in glasses who was staring at him.
"Lavender! Parvati! How many times d'I haf ter tell yeh not to go runnin' after cute little rabbits?" the giant scolded in a deep voice. Then he noticed the three visitors from Middle Earth and broke off. "Who are these people?"
"Aw, gee, Hagrid, we just wanted to see the fluffy little bunnies and then we saw him," Parvati whined, gesturing at Gimli. Legolas was pleased to see that his eyes were open now, but Aragorn seemed to still be dead to the world.
"Ahem." He cleared his throat to give himself a few extra seconds to think. "I am Legolas," he said importantly. "This is Aragorn and Gimli. We apologize for intruding on...uh...wherever we are at the moment and we, um, humbly beg your pardon. But you see, we were fighting evil orcs and then Sauron's forces captured us and he said he was going to..." he trailed off, feeling more than a little idiotic.
Hagrid raised an eyebrow. "Legolas, huh? Well, yeh'd better come along with me ter see Dumbledore. Donno how yeh all got inter the forest in the first place..." He picked up Aragorn, grumbling, and started to carry him off toward a castle visible in the distance. Legolas helped Gimli to his feet and they trailed after him, followed by the kids.
"What do you think Professor Dumbledore will say, Hagrid?" Lavender asked anxiously. "Legolas will be all right, won't he?" She batted her eyelashes at Legolas, who was sure he was blushing by now.
A snort issued from the girl on his other side, who had a cloud of thick brown hair. "Honestly, people can be so *silly* sometimes," she muttered under her breath.
Gimli looked slyly at her. "What's the matter, don't you want a date with Legolas too?" he asked, carefully keeping a straight face.
Legolas's blood ran cold. "Y-you-you *heard* all of that?" [Oh no, I'll never live this down...] Gimli smiled wickedly and his worst fears were confirmed. As they continued marching toward the castle, Legolas had a feeling that he was marching toward impending doom.
A/N: The next chapter should start incorporating some of my really funny ideas, but for this one I just couldn't resist the thought of Lavender and Parvati going all mushy over Legolas. I tried to put my stuff in the HTML format for the italics and bold, but my dad said you have to put these little symbols before every paragraph and I'm just too lazy to go to all that trouble. If you know an easy way to do it, feel free to review. If you absolutely loooove this story and can't wait for another chapter, feel free to review. If you absolutely haaaate this story and can't wait for it to end, feel free to review. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Complaints? Feel free to review. I think that made it pretty clear what I'd like you to do after you finish reading, so get to it! Coming as Soon as I Can Write Something Remotely Resembling Coherent Sentences: Chapter Three.
Harry: Now just hold on one cotton-pickin' minute! I don't belong to anyone...except maybe Cho... **falls into wishful daydream and wanders off to find the Ravenclaw common room**
Frodo: And...uh...what he said! No one owns me either-THE RING IS CALLING ME!!!!! YESSSS PRECIOUS MASTER!!!! **puts on the Ring and disappears**
...Riiiigght. Anyway, I don't own these characters, I just torture them.
A/N: And now, finally, the moment you've been waiting for has arrived...Chapter Two is up at last! After that loooooooong week of waiting, you finally get some of your burning questions answered.
Legolas: What about my burning question?
What question?
Legolas: You know, at the end of the last chapter? When I couldn't figure out what a movie was?
Oh. Well, that *particular* question isn't answered. It's more sort of general burning questions...you know, "What will happen to our intrepid trio?" "How will they survive at Hogwarts?" and "Will Aragorn ever wash his hair?"
Legolas: You're right, that is a burning question. I'll shut up now, shall I?
It would be greatly appreciated, yes. And now, our Feature Presentation.
People With Arrows Make Natural Chick Magnets
Before he opened his eyes, Legolas could tell several things about his surroundings. The smells were those of a forest, and he could hear people nearby. Knowing this much, he decided to find out more, so he opened his eyes-and screamed.
There was, of course, a perfectly legitimate reason for this. The reason was the two teenage human girls who were bent over him, their faces about six inches from his own. They were screaming too, but apparently not from shocked surprise.
"Oh my gosh, he's even hotter with his eyes open!" one of them shrieked. She bent closer and Legolas cringed away from the infatuated look in her eyes. He looked around desperately for help, but Aragorn and Gimli were still out cold. He was hopelessly outnumbered.
"Can I, can I, uh, have a date with you?" the other girl stammered, an identical lovestruck expression on her face.
"Shut up, Lavender! I saw him first-he's *mine!*"
"No way! It's not fair, Parvati! You always get the best guys! Let me have a chance," Lavender wheedled frantically. After watching them for a few seconds, Legolas decided teenagers were much more fearsome fighters than orcs. He was getting really scared when he was saved by a huge giant crashing through the underbrush, followed by about a dozen more kids.
[Salvation,] Legolas thought gratefully. [For now, at least. But where am I?] He managed to pull himself to his feet, but that was really depressing, as it only drove home the fact that the guy was still twice as tall as he was. Instead, he concentrated on the rush of self-esteem that accompanied being much taller than the skinny dark-haired kid in glasses who was staring at him.
"Lavender! Parvati! How many times d'I haf ter tell yeh not to go runnin' after cute little rabbits?" the giant scolded in a deep voice. Then he noticed the three visitors from Middle Earth and broke off. "Who are these people?"
"Aw, gee, Hagrid, we just wanted to see the fluffy little bunnies and then we saw him," Parvati whined, gesturing at Gimli. Legolas was pleased to see that his eyes were open now, but Aragorn seemed to still be dead to the world.
"Ahem." He cleared his throat to give himself a few extra seconds to think. "I am Legolas," he said importantly. "This is Aragorn and Gimli. We apologize for intruding on...uh...wherever we are at the moment and we, um, humbly beg your pardon. But you see, we were fighting evil orcs and then Sauron's forces captured us and he said he was going to..." he trailed off, feeling more than a little idiotic.
Hagrid raised an eyebrow. "Legolas, huh? Well, yeh'd better come along with me ter see Dumbledore. Donno how yeh all got inter the forest in the first place..." He picked up Aragorn, grumbling, and started to carry him off toward a castle visible in the distance. Legolas helped Gimli to his feet and they trailed after him, followed by the kids.
"What do you think Professor Dumbledore will say, Hagrid?" Lavender asked anxiously. "Legolas will be all right, won't he?" She batted her eyelashes at Legolas, who was sure he was blushing by now.
A snort issued from the girl on his other side, who had a cloud of thick brown hair. "Honestly, people can be so *silly* sometimes," she muttered under her breath.
Gimli looked slyly at her. "What's the matter, don't you want a date with Legolas too?" he asked, carefully keeping a straight face.
Legolas's blood ran cold. "Y-you-you *heard* all of that?" [Oh no, I'll never live this down...] Gimli smiled wickedly and his worst fears were confirmed. As they continued marching toward the castle, Legolas had a feeling that he was marching toward impending doom.
A/N: The next chapter should start incorporating some of my really funny ideas, but for this one I just couldn't resist the thought of Lavender and Parvati going all mushy over Legolas. I tried to put my stuff in the HTML format for the italics and bold, but my dad said you have to put these little symbols before every paragraph and I'm just too lazy to go to all that trouble. If you know an easy way to do it, feel free to review. If you absolutely loooove this story and can't wait for another chapter, feel free to review. If you absolutely haaaate this story and can't wait for it to end, feel free to review. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Complaints? Feel free to review. I think that made it pretty clear what I'd like you to do after you finish reading, so get to it! Coming as Soon as I Can Write Something Remotely Resembling Coherent Sentences: Chapter Three.