Disclaimer: Greetings. I am the great J.K. Rowling. No wait, I am the
incredible J.R.R. Tolkien...except he's dead...never mind...Oh, who am I
kidding? If I owned Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, somebody would be
publishing this as a novella.
A/N: Another chapter in your very favorite story. The title for this might seem kind of random, but I'll explain it in the author's note at the end, and then you'll see it's really random. Just kidding...Enjoy!
Who Was That Hot Elf Anyway?
That night in the Great Hall, the Veritaserum had worn off and our heroes were beginning to remember with great chagrin some of the things they'd talked about while under the influence. "I can't believe I told them I'm a soprano," Legolas grumbled.
Gimli looked up with interest, but Dumbledore was starting to talk and the whole hall fell silent. "Good evening, all," he began. "As some of you may know, today we received three very...special guests. Their names are Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli. Please stand up and wave so everyone can see you," he requested mildly.
A little embarrassed, they stood up and waved slightly at the assembled students, who all stared at them. Legolas couldn't help noticing that the female half in particular was staring at him. Except, it must be noted, for McGonagall, who immediately forgot her two-year crush on Professor Flitwick at first sight of Gimli.
"Due to the unexpected nature of their visit, we have no sleeping quarters prepared for them," Dumbledore continued. "Therefore, we've picked the people most likely not to kill them from annoyance before the night is out. Until further notice, our guests will be rooming and eating with the Gryffindors." The occupants of one of the long tables cheered loudly. To Legolas's dismay, Lavender and Parvati blew him kisses from the other end of the Gryffindor table as the three headed uncertainly for the only empty chairs they could see.
"Hi, I'm Fred," said one of the redheads sitting across from them. "And this is George." He indicated his twin, who nodded cheerfully at them before reaching for a dish four feet away. "Do you know any good practical jokes?"
Legolas shot Gimli a warning look. "NO," he growled, kicking Gimli meaningfully. Gimli totally ignored him.
"Well," he reflected, "let's see. There's the time I-"
"Don't start," Legolas warned, but it was too late.
"-replaced Legolas's shampoo with orc slime. Or the time Frodo-"
"He's lying," Legolas said loudly. "Gimli never played a practical joke in his life." He stomped a little harder on Gimli's foot than was strictly necessary to make him shut up. George looked at him with some concern.
"Don't you like pranks, then?" he inquired pityingly.
"I don't believe in them," Legolas replied firmly, daring Gimli silently to mention the time he'd put worms in the apples for Merry and Pippin's second breakfast. The twins looked rather disappointed, but soon turned their attention to sneaking as much food off each other's plates as they could. The three visitors were left to their own thoughts for the remainder of dinner.
When the last of the food had disappeared, they got up and followed the Gryffindors through twisting corridors to their common room. Aragorn took one look at the squashy armchairs and dropped into one gratefully. Legolas and Gimli took a few minutes to explore the room before they sat down, which was a mistake. As the students filled the room around them, almost all of the armchairs were quickly taken.
Gimli glanced back at the fireplace and saw that only one armchair was left. Darting a quick look at Legolas, he sprinted for it. Unfortunately, Legolas was closer and his hypersensitive elf ears picked up the sound of Gimli's heavy breathing as he dashed across the room to claim the chair. He turned around as Gimli neared the home stretch and easily beat him to the chair in a few strides.
"Oh, hello there Gimli," he said pleasantly as Gimli panted to a stop in front of the armchair. "Did you want this chair?" A low growl was his only reply. "I'm so sorry, it's already taken. Maybe you could sit over there." He pointed to the hard wooden chairs around the study tables at the other end of the common room.
"You think you beat me here because you're faster, do you? Well, let me tell you something, my fine archer friend. THAT WAS DELIBERATE! DO YOU HEAR ME? DELIBERATE!!!!!! I *MEANT* TO LET YOU HAVE THAT CHAIR!" By this point, most of the common room was staring at Legolas and Gimli, and snickers were being muffled in isolated corners. Gimli looked around the room with haughty dignity, drawing himself up to his full height, or lack of it. "I will now retire to bed," he informed the listening students before turning on his heel and storming up the spiral staircase...
"Hey!" the prefect called after him. He stopped on the third step. "Well?" he demanded impatiently. "What is it?"
"Um...that's the staircase to the girls' dormitories. Boys are on the left."
"I knew that," Gimli said furiously, storming back down the staircase and across the common room to the boys' side. "I was just testing you to make sure *you* knew." He stomped upstairs, trying to look like he didn't care that everyone would laugh about this for hours after he was gone.
"Fourth landing," the prefect yelled helpfully. Gimli disappeared into the fifth-year dormitory. Somewhere in one of the isolated corners that had recently muffled snickers, two boys, one with glasses and one with red hair, groaned while the brunette girl sitting with them told them it wasn't nice to react that way and she was sure it would be a learning experience for them.
Legolas and Aragorn, of course, knew nothing of this. In fact, Aragorn knew nothing of almost everything. He sat near-comatose by the fire for the rest of the evening while Legolas introduced himself to various girls and generally made himself the life of the party.
They finally went to bed around eleven. As Legolas started to get into bed, he reflected that the dinner conversation with Fred and George about practical jokes had obviously done Gimli more harm than good, at least where Legolas had concerned. It had been a long time since he'd had his bed shortsheeted.
As soon as the last of the guests went upstairs for the night, the three fifth-years in the isolated corner began to talk animatedly about the day's events.
"Who are these people anyway?" Ron asked Hermione in an undertone.
Hermione looked maddeningly superior. Ron was used to this, as maddeningly superior looks were her specialty, but that didn't mean he had to like it. He smoldered while she tossed her hair back and began to explain. "Well, I'd say it's pretty obvious to anyone who knows anything about Muggle literature-"
"You, in other words," Ron muttered. Hermione continued as if she hadn't heard him.
"-that they're Lord of the Rings characters." Harry looked up.
"Say what?"
Looking hopeful, Hermione asked, "Oh, so *you* at least know something about great literature?"
"Well, kind of," Harry admitted. "I mean, it sort of sounds familiar..." He trailed off under Hermione's glare of baleful disappointment.
"I just cannot believe this," she snapped. "Don't tell me you don't know about Lord of the Rings." Harry and Ron looked at her in guilty silence. "J.R.R. Tolkien!" she exploded. "How can you not know about this? The Lord of the Rings saga is one of the most famous fantasy series of all time!"
"Didn't they make a movie of that?" Harry wondered.
Ron got a dreamy look in his eye. "Blimey, I wish *I* had books and movies about me," he said in a wistful tone.
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! The point is that you ought to be more aware of the Muggle world. I mean, I read all 4,000 pages of the collected works of J.R.R. Tolkien when I was 3 years old-"
"You and Albert Einstein," Ron said sardonically. It was the last straw for poor Hermione. She jumped up, the books on her lap flying in all directions.
"LORD OF THE RINGS HADN'T EVEN BEEN *WRITTEN* YET WHEN ALBERT EINSTEIN WAS 3 YEARS OLD!" she screamed, her face briefly going a lovely shade of purple. Ron cowered. Eyes blazing, Hermione marched past him and swept up the stairs to the girls' dormitories. When she was almost to her landing, she tripped, distracted by her fury, and fell flat on her face.
"That was deliberate," Ron whispered to Harry. He cracked up, and they both laughed until they cried.
A/N: Okay, the title wasn't totally random, but it was pretty close. Let me explain. It was one of those things in old radio shows like the Lone Ranger where after he rode off into the sunset someone would ask, "Who was that masked man anyway?" So since this chapter is all about everyone trying to find out who our heroes are...Yeah. Moving on because that was pretty random. Coming Right Afterward Since I Wrote These At The Same Time: Elves Just Wanna Have Fun.
A/N: Another chapter in your very favorite story. The title for this might seem kind of random, but I'll explain it in the author's note at the end, and then you'll see it's really random. Just kidding...Enjoy!
Who Was That Hot Elf Anyway?
That night in the Great Hall, the Veritaserum had worn off and our heroes were beginning to remember with great chagrin some of the things they'd talked about while under the influence. "I can't believe I told them I'm a soprano," Legolas grumbled.
Gimli looked up with interest, but Dumbledore was starting to talk and the whole hall fell silent. "Good evening, all," he began. "As some of you may know, today we received three very...special guests. Their names are Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli. Please stand up and wave so everyone can see you," he requested mildly.
A little embarrassed, they stood up and waved slightly at the assembled students, who all stared at them. Legolas couldn't help noticing that the female half in particular was staring at him. Except, it must be noted, for McGonagall, who immediately forgot her two-year crush on Professor Flitwick at first sight of Gimli.
"Due to the unexpected nature of their visit, we have no sleeping quarters prepared for them," Dumbledore continued. "Therefore, we've picked the people most likely not to kill them from annoyance before the night is out. Until further notice, our guests will be rooming and eating with the Gryffindors." The occupants of one of the long tables cheered loudly. To Legolas's dismay, Lavender and Parvati blew him kisses from the other end of the Gryffindor table as the three headed uncertainly for the only empty chairs they could see.
"Hi, I'm Fred," said one of the redheads sitting across from them. "And this is George." He indicated his twin, who nodded cheerfully at them before reaching for a dish four feet away. "Do you know any good practical jokes?"
Legolas shot Gimli a warning look. "NO," he growled, kicking Gimli meaningfully. Gimli totally ignored him.
"Well," he reflected, "let's see. There's the time I-"
"Don't start," Legolas warned, but it was too late.
"-replaced Legolas's shampoo with orc slime. Or the time Frodo-"
"He's lying," Legolas said loudly. "Gimli never played a practical joke in his life." He stomped a little harder on Gimli's foot than was strictly necessary to make him shut up. George looked at him with some concern.
"Don't you like pranks, then?" he inquired pityingly.
"I don't believe in them," Legolas replied firmly, daring Gimli silently to mention the time he'd put worms in the apples for Merry and Pippin's second breakfast. The twins looked rather disappointed, but soon turned their attention to sneaking as much food off each other's plates as they could. The three visitors were left to their own thoughts for the remainder of dinner.
When the last of the food had disappeared, they got up and followed the Gryffindors through twisting corridors to their common room. Aragorn took one look at the squashy armchairs and dropped into one gratefully. Legolas and Gimli took a few minutes to explore the room before they sat down, which was a mistake. As the students filled the room around them, almost all of the armchairs were quickly taken.
Gimli glanced back at the fireplace and saw that only one armchair was left. Darting a quick look at Legolas, he sprinted for it. Unfortunately, Legolas was closer and his hypersensitive elf ears picked up the sound of Gimli's heavy breathing as he dashed across the room to claim the chair. He turned around as Gimli neared the home stretch and easily beat him to the chair in a few strides.
"Oh, hello there Gimli," he said pleasantly as Gimli panted to a stop in front of the armchair. "Did you want this chair?" A low growl was his only reply. "I'm so sorry, it's already taken. Maybe you could sit over there." He pointed to the hard wooden chairs around the study tables at the other end of the common room.
"You think you beat me here because you're faster, do you? Well, let me tell you something, my fine archer friend. THAT WAS DELIBERATE! DO YOU HEAR ME? DELIBERATE!!!!!! I *MEANT* TO LET YOU HAVE THAT CHAIR!" By this point, most of the common room was staring at Legolas and Gimli, and snickers were being muffled in isolated corners. Gimli looked around the room with haughty dignity, drawing himself up to his full height, or lack of it. "I will now retire to bed," he informed the listening students before turning on his heel and storming up the spiral staircase...
"Hey!" the prefect called after him. He stopped on the third step. "Well?" he demanded impatiently. "What is it?"
"Um...that's the staircase to the girls' dormitories. Boys are on the left."
"I knew that," Gimli said furiously, storming back down the staircase and across the common room to the boys' side. "I was just testing you to make sure *you* knew." He stomped upstairs, trying to look like he didn't care that everyone would laugh about this for hours after he was gone.
"Fourth landing," the prefect yelled helpfully. Gimli disappeared into the fifth-year dormitory. Somewhere in one of the isolated corners that had recently muffled snickers, two boys, one with glasses and one with red hair, groaned while the brunette girl sitting with them told them it wasn't nice to react that way and she was sure it would be a learning experience for them.
Legolas and Aragorn, of course, knew nothing of this. In fact, Aragorn knew nothing of almost everything. He sat near-comatose by the fire for the rest of the evening while Legolas introduced himself to various girls and generally made himself the life of the party.
They finally went to bed around eleven. As Legolas started to get into bed, he reflected that the dinner conversation with Fred and George about practical jokes had obviously done Gimli more harm than good, at least where Legolas had concerned. It had been a long time since he'd had his bed shortsheeted.
As soon as the last of the guests went upstairs for the night, the three fifth-years in the isolated corner began to talk animatedly about the day's events.
"Who are these people anyway?" Ron asked Hermione in an undertone.
Hermione looked maddeningly superior. Ron was used to this, as maddeningly superior looks were her specialty, but that didn't mean he had to like it. He smoldered while she tossed her hair back and began to explain. "Well, I'd say it's pretty obvious to anyone who knows anything about Muggle literature-"
"You, in other words," Ron muttered. Hermione continued as if she hadn't heard him.
"-that they're Lord of the Rings characters." Harry looked up.
"Say what?"
Looking hopeful, Hermione asked, "Oh, so *you* at least know something about great literature?"
"Well, kind of," Harry admitted. "I mean, it sort of sounds familiar..." He trailed off under Hermione's glare of baleful disappointment.
"I just cannot believe this," she snapped. "Don't tell me you don't know about Lord of the Rings." Harry and Ron looked at her in guilty silence. "J.R.R. Tolkien!" she exploded. "How can you not know about this? The Lord of the Rings saga is one of the most famous fantasy series of all time!"
"Didn't they make a movie of that?" Harry wondered.
Ron got a dreamy look in his eye. "Blimey, I wish *I* had books and movies about me," he said in a wistful tone.
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! The point is that you ought to be more aware of the Muggle world. I mean, I read all 4,000 pages of the collected works of J.R.R. Tolkien when I was 3 years old-"
"You and Albert Einstein," Ron said sardonically. It was the last straw for poor Hermione. She jumped up, the books on her lap flying in all directions.
"LORD OF THE RINGS HADN'T EVEN BEEN *WRITTEN* YET WHEN ALBERT EINSTEIN WAS 3 YEARS OLD!" she screamed, her face briefly going a lovely shade of purple. Ron cowered. Eyes blazing, Hermione marched past him and swept up the stairs to the girls' dormitories. When she was almost to her landing, she tripped, distracted by her fury, and fell flat on her face.
"That was deliberate," Ron whispered to Harry. He cracked up, and they both laughed until they cried.
A/N: Okay, the title wasn't totally random, but it was pretty close. Let me explain. It was one of those things in old radio shows like the Lone Ranger where after he rode off into the sunset someone would ask, "Who was that masked man anyway?" So since this chapter is all about everyone trying to find out who our heroes are...Yeah. Moving on because that was pretty random. Coming Right Afterward Since I Wrote These At The Same Time: Elves Just Wanna Have Fun.