Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. Personal thanks are at the end.

Olivia led Casey into her apartment with no regrets in mind. Within a months time everything was pulled away from her. How hard she had worked to get where she was, and then it was all destroyed. She wanted someone to be mad at; someone to blame, but the only person who had ruined her life was her.

So, with the thought of having nothing to lose in mind, she handed Casey a bottle of Miller Lite as she took one for herself and sat down at the table.

"It's going to be hard without you," Casey admitted after the first awkward moment of silent.

"It's gonna be hard without the squad," Olivia admitted, taking a long swig of beer. She then looked at the women sitting at the counter stool. "Did I hurt you?" she asked.

"What?" Casey was completely shocked by the question.

"Ever since you came here, I've been the biggest bitch to you. Did I hurt you?" Olivia asked with watering eyes.

"Ha. At first, but I realized it was hard for you."

"She was my best friend. She was stubborn, smart, witty, and beautiful. I'm sorry, it just felt like you were trying to replace her," Olivia admitted, getting up to get her next bottle.

"I know… you know, I kept thinking, maybe if I tried harder, if I got the next perp you guys brought in that you would like me. That you would invite me to your next night at the pub." Casey had never admitted her feelings to anyone before. She was such a closed person when it came to her personal life, so when she let everything slip, she had no idea how Olivia would act.

"At first I wanted to hurt you, I wanted to drive you away, but when I talked with you in the office, I knew you were here to stay and it just made it harder." Casey looked at the older woman with a sad smile. She was watching her watch her life be thrown out the window and they both knew there was nothing they could do.

"When she came into my office, all I could think was you guys were going to kick me out and replace me with her. I saw the way you reacted around her, and I knew that would never be me," Casey said. They both looked into each other's eyes and knew how they hurt each other. They also knew how much they needed each other right now.

"Why did you defend me?" Olivia asked, looking at her hands before taking another drink of beer.

"Because, even though I knew you did it, I knew you weren't guilty. I wanted the best for you. You wanted to be there for a friend, so I returned her favor," Casey said, looking and studying Olivia's eyes.

"Thank you," was all Olivia could say for the rest of the night. Neither of them said anything until Casey left at four. And again, all either of them could say was "thank you."

Olivia sat back down on the sofa, watching the midnight sky flicker with the million lights from the city. Getting up, she walked towards the closet. Pulling out the step stool with her feet, she stood up so see could see the high top shelf. Looking at the different shoeboxes, she let her memory wonder. Each of them were filled with a different memory; some from her childhood and one from career as a detective filled with her first warrant, pictures from different parties, and a ring that got bloodied from punching a perp so hard. Slowing pilling five boxes, she brought them to her room and then went back to get the rest. As she sat cross-legged on her bed, she opened the first box. It was a beat up Nike box. Sliding off the lid, she saw some wrinkled paper and some pictures along with different knick-knacks.

Grabbing the picture, she ran her thumb over her first boyfriend. It was one of them kissing at a street fair. Josh Gladwin. He was three years older than her, but she didn't care. Placing it to the side, she slid her fingers across a rosary that had been her mothers. Her hands then went to her first "I love you" card and then to her first breakup note. Her hands then felt the rough edges of a bottle cap from her first swig of whiskey. She remembered she had stupidly finished off the last bit of her mother's bottle that she hid I in the bathroom. That had been one of the first times her mother really hurt her. Brushing her cheek, she closed the lid and moved on to the next box. As she opened it, she noticed the ruffle paper and new exactly what box it was. Shutting it quickly she went on to the next box. Old letters littered the box. Running her hand over the rustled and folded paper, she closed it and moved on.

She picked up the newest box from probably five years ago. Opening the lid as if it would break with the slightest impact. Placing it to the side she looked at the pictures that filled the box. All of them were packed away so long ago, she almost forgot they were there but she would never forget.

Reaching for the first one, she brushed her fingers over her first and only best friend's blonde hair. They were at a New Year's party at a bar about a block away from her apartment. They both were leaning on each other from their stool as they smile from their booth. The next photo was from a picnic in the park. They were tossing around a football with Munch and Elliot. She flipped through each photo, smiling easily as she remembered the details from each of them.

It wasn't until she got to the one of them hugging did she notice her tears. Wiping them away, she shut the box and slowly moved them all back to their hiding place.

She looked at her alarm clock as it blinked seven a.m. She would have left to work by now she thought. Going to the bed, she laid on top of the covers as she curled up into a little ball and fell asleep.

Brittany4445- thanks for the review! I think Elliot is such a complicated character some times with his reaction to Liv and I didn't really want this to be an E/O fic.

Rox88- Thanks for reviewing and I will ALWAYS review your wonderful story:)

SVUlover- Well after Elliot leaves the apartment, Olivia and Alex are talking, and when Alex is calmly freaking out, Olivia does it to calm her down.

garrettelliot- Thanks for the compliment! Like I said, I'm not sure hom in depth Elliot will be.

justawritier- thanks!

SVU-FAN-0701- thanks! I'm going to try to keep in mostly in character though.