Chapter 7: Thoughts (Quistis)
'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes round and everyone will lift their heads
But I'm thinking of what Sarah said that "Love is watching someone die"
So who's going to watch you die?..
Striding down the hall, I realize that I should slow down before I run into someone and cause injury. Shortening my steps I make myself breathe in and out and count to thirty (I found out years ago while teaching that ten just isn't enough for times that my temper surfaces). After sufficiently calming myself down I turn into a hall and start heading back to the sterile room that holds Selphie. When I come into range of the room a sigh escapes my lips, and I realize I was holding my breath. There are no nurses and doctors running rampant to and from the room, no alarms going off on heart monitors, nothing. The room is as silent as it was when I left it, and I enter it as quietly as I can and close the door. Seifer looks over to me.
"So what did they want?"
Blowing hair out of my eyes and wishing that I had brought clips to keep the shorter strands back, I answer him. "To check up on our progress. They wanted to know if we'd found anything out about the attack around town. You know, if we had learned that Sarah had some secret vendetta against her or something."
"And what did you tell them?" He pulls me into his lap, both of us now in the chair that rests at the bedside.
"Well, I didn't tell them that the victim was Selphie. I just…she didn't want us to know she was here, there had to be a reason. I'll just wait to tell them…see if she wakes up. I talked to Rinoa, and you know she'll just believe what I tell her, since she has no reason to question me. No change?"
"No, sorry. A nurse was in here, checking her vitals and stuff. She said she doesn't understand why she hasn't come to yet. There's no reason for her to be out still, physically at least."
"Does anyone know exactly what happened?" Seifer shakes his head and I sigh, leaning back against his chest.
"You know, Quis, as much as you want to stay here and I want to be able to let you, we have to actually do the job we came here for. We need to go get information on the layout of the town, talk to other people in Winhill." I nod. I know we have to do that, that we can't let the group down. Especially since I now know that it is one of my best friends unconscious in the bed. I stand up and Seifer follows suit. Reaching out I grab Selphie's hand. Her fingers are like popsicles and I rub them, attempting to warm them a bit. With a deep breath I place her hand back on the mattress and trail behind Seifer as he leads me out of the room.
Laguna is standing outside the door, looking as nervous as a child caught with their hand in the cake. My eyes narrow as I take in his appearance, and the halls. Suddenly I don't feel good about leaving Selphie in the room alone. But our job has to be a priority, because the faster we find out the events and people that led to this, the better off Selphie will be. But now that I know that the victim was Selphie, I also cannot help thinking that we won't find many answers in Winhill. My instincts are telling me that this is something big, something that has perhaps less to do with who Selphie is than what she is. But the best place to start, I suppose, would be with the people who probably know Sarah best.
"Laguna, do you happen to know what room Selphie's friend is in here?" Seifer questions, as though he has read my mind.
"Yes, I just found out and came to tell you. Are you going to question them?"
"I guess we'll talk to them, find out some stuff about Selphie since she has been here…You said she has a kid." It popped back into my head as I went over what he had said at the hotel. Sometimes having a tape recorder in my brain is helpful.
Laguna's head snaps up and he looks almost scared. "Well, yes she does. A little girl."
"And Mr. Leonard said her name is Tessa. She's two months old. Damn that girl!" Spinning to look at Seifer, my eyes narrow even more—I'm sure they look like slits. "She left Garden because she was pregnant, Seifer. I told you there was something weird about her just suddenly resigning. You and I both know it is highly frowned upon to have a kid as an unmarried SeeD. So the question is why would a person do this to someone who is no longer a threat? I mean, does she even have her nunchaku anymore? Who the fuck would…what were they…I can't even think straight!" The heels of my boots sharply hit the ground as I turn and pace until I calm down, then look up to see both Seifer and Laguna staring at me. "What?"
"You're pacing." Laguna states the obvious and I roll my eyes.
"I'm frustrated. I can't think of a single person that would want to hurt Selphie. I mean, at least she…"
"Ahem." I turn to look at the person behind me, a man.
"Are you Miss Talbuck's friends or family?"
"She's my adopted sister, yes . Are you her doctor?"
He nods, and I begin to feel a little uncomfortable under his gaze, his brown eyes seeming to see through me. Stepping over to Seifer I lean onto his chest as the doctor begins talking again.
"I'm Doctor Zaro, the attending this morning. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check on the patient." He walks past us into the room and I shiver as he goes, a feeling of helplessness passing through me. Snapping myself out of my catatonic state, I look back at the two men with me.
"Laguna, what is that room number?"
"412…I think somebody—"
"Should go in that room with Selphie, I agree. You go in there and we'll go talk to the…"
"Nova's—Sheena and Drex Nova." Laguna turns to walk into Selphie's room and I stare down the hall, thinking. Seifer moving around me and striding down the hall snaps me back into reality. He looks over his shoulder as he goes, and I know by his narrowed eyes that he felt something odd when Dr. Zaro walked past us. There is something really fucked up in the world again—I can almost smell it. Now if only I could figure out where the hell the stench is coming from. Squaring my shoulders, I follow after Seifer as he heads for the room holding two of the few people who know what has been going on with Selphie the past year. One question nags at my brain a little more than the others, though. Why did Selphie decide her best course of action was to resign from SeeD? What possessed her to do that without even coming to us for help?
Jogging to catch up with Seifer I reach out and take his hand, slowing him down a little as we approach the elevator bank. He looks at me out of the corner of his eyes and removes his hand from mine, instead wrapping his arm around my shoulders. We stay like this, waiting for the elevator door to open. Sighing, I look up at Seifer through my lashes, resting my head on his chest to listen to his heartbeat. His mouth turns up into a smirk as he glances down at me, his other arm wrapping around me, holding me close. I'm not sure when the habit began, though Matron said it was something I used to do as a child, but the sound of Seifer's heartbeat is the most calming, reassuring sound to me in the world. Maybe it comes from losing my parents at such a young age. The only memories I have of my parents, ones that trickled back into my brain when I went cold turkey with Guardian Forces, do not include this little habit of mine. A shiver brings me back to the present, and I see that Seifer is holding the elevator for me, an eyebrow raised.
"Sorry, I was thinking," I say as I join him inside.
Seifer laughs and shakes his head. "I think you need more coffee, Quisty. It's like you're still asleep." I punch him in the shoulder which only makes him laugh harder. Pouting, I move to the other side of the car and cross my arms over my chest. Seifer shakes his head at my behavior, but makes no move to come over to me. Damn him and his complete book of knowledge about me.
The elevator doors open and we both walk in the direction the sign says room 412 is in. When we reach the door I growl as I see two young SeeD posted outside the door. What the hell is this? Somehow, I don't think it is normal for two well trained mercenaries to be posted outside the room of a new mother, especially when nobody was even posted on Selphie's floor. I can feel Seifer tense beside me, and I know I'm not being paranoid. There is something up with Galbadia…again. But what now?
The young man on the left looks up as Seifer and I stop in front of him, and he pokes his companion in the side. She looks like she may have died of boredom. When she sees us, a disconcerting gleam appears in her eyes. Why do I always wind up dealing with the crazy ones?
"We're here to speak to Mr. and Mrs. Nova, so if you'll excuse us—" Seifer begins.
"I'm sorry sir; we were instructed that nobody enter this room without Headmaster Demona's permission." The boy speaks.
"We're SeeD from Balamb, we need to interview the Nova's about our client," I try to talk sense into these kids. In all honesty, they're only about two or three years younger than I am, but sometimes I don't think chronological age has anything to do with anything.
"Well good for you, Lady. We especially aren't allowing Balamb trash to enter." That girl is an annoying little smart ass. This will probably be the only time, but right about now I wish Martine was still the headmaster of Galbadia Garden. At least I'm certain he would have known better than to block Balamb SeeD from proceeding with a mission. It would seem Demona doesn't even have as much common sense as Martine. A pity since she was so promising in the beginning.
All of a sudden Seifer has the girl by the throat and he snarls. "Listen, kid, you'll address her as "Ma'am" or "Instructor Trepe" nothing else, you got me?" She just glares at him and I can see his green eyes get darker. That is one dumb child. I glance at her friend and see that he is grinning. Turning my attention back to Seifer before he seriously injures the girl, I lay a hand on his arm. He's definitely still got that temper problem.
"I think she'll be more useful alive, Seifer. Besides, I'm not going to take anything seriously that a low level SeeD like her says."
"You don't let me have any fun, Trepe." I can hear the smile in his voice.
"Sorry, Almasy. Now." I turn to the boy, as the girl is busy rubbing her throat and glaring. He seems to find the whole situation funny. "Would you mind telling us why nobody is allowed to enter?"
He shrugs. "I don't have a clue. All I know is that I'm getting paid to stand here and direct people away. It's the easiest job I've had in a while. Seems weird though, to have an armed guard outside the door on the maternity ward and not have someone like the sorceress Rinoa or Miss Ellone on the other side of that door."
"Yes, it is odd." I raise an eyebrow and he gives a slight nod.
"Anya, why don't you go get something to drink from the cafeteria, you don't want your throat to get sore." Her eyes throw daggers before she storms down the hall.
"You can't hold it against Anya, I guess. Her sister and brother were SeeD's that died in the fight with Balamb during the war. She's just a bitter fool. But what I wouldn't give to have a picture of her just then." He turns back to Seifer and I. "Well, I see no harm in you entering if you can give me some sort of ID." We both produce our ID's and after examining them he nods, hands them back and then leads us into the room.
"Mr. Nova?" The man standing at the window looks over and he doesn't look happy.
"When are we going to be able to get out of this damn room?" He is quiet, and when I glance at the hospital bed I see that it is because the woman lying there is asleep and next to the bed is a bassinet with a tiny baby, also dozing.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Nova, I have no idea why you're even being kept in here in the first place," the young man replies. "However, I have a couple visitors for you." With that he goes back outside the door, closing it behind him.
"Drex Nova?" I ask, and he nods. Smiling, I extend my hand to him. "I'm Quistis Trepe, and this is Seifer Almasy. We're SeeDs from Balamb Garden, here to investigate the attack on Miss Tilmitt."
"You mean Talbucks? Sarah Talbucks?"
"Well, she's the same person but we know her as Selphie Tilmitt. She's an ex-SeeD from Balamb and Trabia, an elite SeeD as a matter of fact. But first and foremost, she's one of my best friends. I grew up with her; she's like a sister…Anything you could tell us would be great."
Movement from the bed draws my attention, and who I am assuming is Sheena Nova sits up. Her eyes fill up when she sees me, and I understand when she speaks.
"Sir Laguna said he wouldn't tell you it was her. I told him not to contact you, but he promised he wouldn't reveal her identity—"
"He didn't tell either of us. We knew, the second he said the name. Selphie had disappeared, and Laguna always did have more of a friendship with her than he did with the rest of us, even his own son, which would explain why he would be willing to lie for her." I explain. "But don't worry, we didn't tell the others."
"Others? How many of you are there?"
"There's the two of us, Squall, Rinoa, Zell, and back at Garden there is Sally, who does research for us when we need it. But they were all distracted when Laguna said the name, so they didn't put it together." Replying to her question, I watch as the baby begins to stir. "Listen, all we need to know is your explanation of events. When she got here, things that happened…"
"She came to Winhill about…well about nine months ago. She bought the house and…" over the next hour, Sheena and Drex tell us what Selphie has been up to since she left SeeD, and by the end I'm left at even more of a dead end than before. The girl is a saint, I already knew that. A rather deadly saint, but a saint none the less. Who could possibly have a motive to hurt her? No money was stolen, because there was still two hundred gil in her wallet, and her jewelry box was still sitting on the vanity in her bedroom, nothing disturbed but a table and picture frame… None of this makes sense. I say as much and everyone in the room agrees. The baby starts screaming and Seifer turns to me.
"I think it's time for us to go, Quistis. Screaming, needy babies are not my thing." Nodding absently I watch the baby for a minute longer before saying goodbye to the couple and leaving with Seifer. The boy outside the door nods at us as we leave, and as we walk down the hall to the elevators, we pass Anya. Grabbing her arm I make her look at me. She appears ready to kill me.
"I'm sorry about your family. I wish there was something I could have done to prevent it." Before she can make some sarcastic reply, I walk away. Seifer and I return to Selphie's room to tell Laguna we're leaving when I get another bad feeling. Something about this whole situation just isn't sitting well with me. Looking to Seifer I know he doesn't feel comfortable either. His instincts are even more honed than mine are, and I always pay attention when to how Seifer reads a situation.
"I think the sooner Selphie is out of this place the better." After telling Laguna that we're leaving, we head for the main Garden to get a vehicle. When we reach the garage, the only vehicle they have left is a motorcycle. I swallow as I climb on behind Seifer, strapping on my helmet as I wrap my arms around his torso. The last time I rode a motorcycle with Seifer had not turned out to be what I had expected. Bracing myself for the 'take off' I pull the tinted face shield down over my face and Seifer does the same before ripping out of the garage and towards Winhill. It's about now I'm glad I wore pants today. Gluing myself to Seifer's back, I close my eyes and try not to think as we fly down the road.
Once we get back into town, Seifer pulls up to the hotel and we go inside, leaving the helmets with the bike. My lower back is killing me as we walk in, a common occurrence the past two weeks, and I head off to find some…something to ease the ache. Seifer kisses my cheek and goes to his room. Sometimes, I wonder why Cid wastes the money to get Rinoa and I our own rooms on missions like this. As if we aren't going to end up in Squall and Seifer's rooms. But then I remember that, as much as Rinoa and I love them, we still argue and fight and at times like that I thank Hyne for my own room. When I reach my room, I flop down on the bed, arms and legs thrown out towards the corners and my head turned to the side as I'm lying on my stomach. I begin thinking about what has happened, everything I've heard about Selphie and some things begin to click. Selphie left Garden on bad terms with Irvine after they slept together, I heard about their fight through rumors that are always flying around Garden. She went to Trabia, where she found out she was pregnant, and subsequently resigned, but she didn't want any of us to know for some reason. Irvine is the fucking father of Tessa.
Why did it take me this long to figure it out? Who else could have figured this out? Well, most people in the major cities know what our names are, and a good majority have seen our SeeD photos in the papers, so it wouldn't be hard to recognize us. But who would know that Selphie and Irvine had hooked up, when even I hadn't known? Easy, someone who loves to listen to the rumors that are always flitting around the halls of Garden. As an Instructor, I either know or have the connections to figure out who all the gossipers are, and I'm going to do just that, right after I catch a nap. A sudden wave of exhaustion washes over me and I can't keep my eyes open for the life of me. The last thing I do before falling asleep is look at the clock. It reads 5:47 pm.
I wake to someone pounding on my door, and jumping from my spot on the bed I try to rush to answer, but am stopped as my vision goes dark and I feel unsteady on my feet. I fall back on the bed and stay still until the blood rush passes. The person on the other side of the door, however, is less patient and pounds again on the door.
"Quistis! Open the fucking door!" Seifer. I stumble over and open the door, squinting up at him in the bright hallway. I notice Zell and Rinoa are both standing behind him, looking anxious.
"What's going on?" I am so confused.
"You were shouting," Rinoa answers, keeping a careful eye on me.
"I was? Well, I was sleeping. It must have been a dream or something." My exterior remains cool and collected, but inside, I feel like my world just fell apart again. I've had dreams like this before, only last time I remembered every second when I woke up. They're memories, and they never precede good news. I look up to all three of them staring at me, skeptical.
"What were you sleeping in the early evening for anyway? You're asleep a lot lately it seems." Zell looks me in the eye. "Is something wrong?"
With a shrug I reply, "Not that I know of Zell. Have you all eaten yet?" They all nod, even Seifer, and I sigh. "Well, I'm starving, so I'm going to go get some food. I'll be back in a little while." I grab my small purse and dart out of the room and down the stairs to the dining room. The woman from the front desk comes over and sits a cheeseburger and fries down in front of me.
"You look like you could use a filling meal." She sits a glass of iced tea down as well, before sitting down in the chair across from me. "Now then, you had a bad dream?"
"How did you—"
"I've had this knack for knowing things I shouldn't for years. Since I was born, I guess. It's a curse sometimes. I can see strong emotions; I suppose you could call me an Empath. If you remembered the dream, well then chances are I would see what happened. But keep that between the two of us, I still remember what happens to people like me and…it's better to be safe than sorry, I say."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Child, I can see it in you. I see lots of things in you, things you need to let go of and things you need to hold onto with all your might. You'll know which to do when the time comes. Now, eat up. It'll give you plenty of energy."
The old woman lifts herself from the chair with help from the table, and just as she is turning away, I ask, "Do you think you could use your skill to help me with S-Sarah? So I could know what happened that night."
"Some things are best left alone, Blue. My sight would see, I'm sure, but the toll it would take on my heart…I'm afraid I can't help you. Even if I saw I wouldn't last long enough to tell you what my eyes alone saw. Evil sights take a piece of you with them, you know. You'll understand in time. This blessing is so often a curse, Blue."
"Why do you keep calling me Blue?"
"Because it is what your mother used to call you, Blue. Because you have the blue power. Now go on and eat, there'll be plenty of time for you to ask questions later. You have to keep up your strength." She pats my cheek and disappears into the kitchen again. Turning my attention back to the food on the plate I sigh and begin eating it.
I'm amazed to see that I eat every last bite of food, and three glasses of tea. Where I'm storing all of this food I have no idea, but that is the least of my worries. I stay seated long after the old woman takes the dishes away. My brain is trying to figure out what she meant. My mother called me Blue? Didn't they know what blue magic was? Come to think of it, I have never run across another person who has the same ability as me. Not another blue magic user, ever, in all of my years in a military academy. My head snaps up as I realize that I never met someone so natural with healing magic as Selphie. According to her files when she transferred, she was using Curaga and Esuna when she was nine years old, when she entered Trabia Garden. Could that be part of this whole mess? Selphie's almost sorceress level of control over healing magic?
I'm dragged out of my thoughts as Squall, Rinoa, Zell and Seifer enter the dining area and come sit at the table with me. Everyone decides to wait until the morning to discuss what they found today about the mission. As everyone talks, I begin to think back on what Sheena and Drex had told me today about Selphie. She's like a stranger to me now. She left a sister and faded into a stranger, a stranger who can't explain for herself what is going on. The silence will drive me insane.
Author's Notes: Whew! I have had one hell of a day! I'm up with my new brother right now, at my dad's house. He's the cutest baby I've ever seen, and pretty quiet from what I've heard about most five month old babies. He took a liking to me for some reason, and he shuts up when I hold him and bounce him this certain way, I have no idea its just how I held him, and apparently that's what he likes. I think this is the first good trip to my dad's I've had in about ten years. So yeah. I'm not banned from using my laptop here. I just have to make sure to hook the internet back up to my dad's computer when I'm done! So, here it is—the next chapter! The song at the beginning, by the way is called What Sarah Said and is by Death Cab for Cutie (they ROCK).
Oh, and Ameli Stoncius I want to thank you for all of the reviews! I love reviews! I especially love it when people write a review for each chapter! Therefore, I love you! Hehe. And also, I know about the Winhill spelling thing. Halfway through one of the chapters I realized it was spelled wrong and so from that chapter on it is correctly spelled, but before that I just haven't gone through and edited. It's the laziness creeping in. But thanks for pointing it out, you were the first one to do that! Everyone else just let me look stupid. sigh
Well, that's it for now, sorry it took so long! I really did mean to have this out over…I think it was winter break, but things got hectic. And yes, I have been eating. I know I promised, but imagine what I would be like if I hadn't eaten! I'd be dead. So I guess I would look like a corpse. Please Review! I'll Love you Forever...Yeah!
-Gilly Bean the outnumbered and no-longer-only-child.
Edited 11.24.08