Summary: Last time I updated, Cindy finally made an appearance! Were the Scoobies impressed? Do you think she has any potential for causing an apocalypse? Will Cindy's minions get a discount on Gucci merchandise? Read and find all the answers you seek!

Chapter 7

(A week has passed since Cindy arrived at Buffy's house. Cindy is recruiting minions in her 'lair', which happens to be sickeningly pink and fluffy. How she managed to pull this off in a slimy underground cave, I suppose we'll never know.)

Cindy: (looking around at the various assortment of humans, vampires, and demons gathered in 'the evil lair in which Cindy will recruit her minions.' At least, that's what the sign on the entrance said.) Like, I'm so totally glad all of you could make it tonight! You may be asking, 'like, why did I come here?' and the answer you told yourself was, 'pass up a discount on Gucci merchandise? Like, no way!'. Well, my fellow fashion fiends (Cindy fails to notice that the majority of the minions are wearing motorcycle leather gear or tattered rags), I'm like so totally devastated to tell you that I was like lying when I said that! Wasn't that so totally evil of me! Like, no worries though! My totally awesome hero and role model has provided you with red velvet uniforms!

(Cindy shows the crowd assembled a uniform, in red velvet of course. On the left breast of each uniform 'Cindy's minion' is embroidered in pink thread. In smaller black thread the words 'if found, please return' can be found. I'll leave the actual design of the uniform to the reader's imagination. I'm sure that whatever's in your mind is probably as horrible as it's meant to be.)

Minion #1: Pretty colors.

Cindy: Like, of course! I can't have my most favoritest minions looking like they totally walked out of last month's Vogue!

Minion #2: (an ugly spiny-headed demon) Hey look lady, I'm just in it for the mass mayhem and destruction. Ya got any of that all planned out for us, sweetie pie?

Cindy: (gives Minion #2 a surprisingly evil glare) I wasn't like born yesterday, you know. Of course I have a plan! It's, like, much better than that everyday 'let's like have a sacred ritual and kill a couple fashion victims'. I'm totally for world domination!

Minion #3: (looks like Frankenstein's larger sibling) Why you take over world?

Cindy: Like, what kind of question is that? I wasn't loved enough as a child. That's totally every bad guy's excuse. Any minion of mine should know better.

Minion #2: Okay, lady. Ya got a plan. Mind lettin' us in on the scoop?

Cindy: Like, stop being so impatient! If, like, there aren't any more questions, I'd like you to meet my #1 fan!

(Marius appears on stage, in all his red velvet glory. However, he doesn't notice the strategically placed cute fluffy dog and ends up falling flat on his face. He gets up almost instantly and pretends it didn't happen.)

Marius: Cindy dear, I have asked you not to refer to me as such.

Cindy: Like, okey-day!

Marius: (scans the crowd of minions) You have all come here tonight for one purpose, to maim and destroy. If that is not the case, you probably came to the wrong pink and fluffy cave. (A few elves in the back talk amongst themselves and mutter things like, 'that explains things' and 'didn't look like a Prozac giveaway' before leaving.) I want to dissuade you from this scheme, and-

(There are blank looks all around the room. It seems that Marius has gone over their heads…)

Marius: (notices the blank stares) What I mean to say is, killing is bad. Only kill the evil-doer is what someone wise once told me, and that was the beginning of my teachings on the subject of lint. It seems that lint has many purposes, whether you want to…(at this point everything in the 'lair' has fallen into a coma-like sleep. Marius, as always, is oblivious.)

(Two hours later…)

Marius: …which is what to do with lint if you ever find yourself in a hot air balloon 25,812 feet above ground level with a hungry tiger and a stainless steel spoon. Now, if you happen to have a fork…

(Four hours later…)

Marius: …and lint is a surprisingly good aphrodisiac, if used correctly, and-(looks at watch) my! Where has the time gone? It's almost sunrise! I must bid all of you farewell, and goodnight! (Marius leaves, presumably to his daytime sleeping place.)

(Cindy and the minions wake up, each in their own respective pool of drool.)

Cindy: (looks at all the minions) Like, you're still here? Stop, like, over-staying your welcome! Leave already!

Minion #3: What about-

Cindy: Just go! And, like, don't forget your uniforms on the way out!

(The minions leave, wiping the drool off their faces on the way out. The vampires, being the not-so-intelligent minions they are, walk right outside into the sunrise and explode into dust. How unfortunate.)

(Meanwhile at the Summers' residence…)

Buffy: Haven't heard much about that blonde ditz lately. Wonder what she's up to?

Spike: Well, there's not much we can do, luv. She's not in any of the bloody prophecies, so it looks like the chit is gonna have to make the first move.

Varney: Anyone wanna s'more omlet?

A/N: Here is the much awaited for update! Let's just ignore the fact that I've been too lazy to update for over a year. It's not nearly as long as I was hoping for it to be, but you can't have everything, I suppose. The Scoobies and the Coven will have a bigger part in chapters to come! Reviews make me very happy and constructive criticism is appreciated! My muse thanks you!

Spike (aka Muse)- I bloody well do not thank any of these wankers.

Ayshieka- You'll start thanking them if you value your un-life.

Spike- (gulp) Thanks.

Ayshieka- That wasn't so hard now, was it?