Erised's Bane

Author's Note: Hey guys, how's it going with all of you? Just updating the story here, I mean I have to finish it before book number 6 comes out on JULY 16th! HUZZAH! Ah, but yes, anyway I'm just leaving you guys all a quick note to say hey, how's it going, cool? All right.

Disclaimer: So yeah…the whole disclaimer thing…kind of lame, don't you think? Who would be stupid enough to think it was J.K. Rowling writing this stuff? Oh yeah…you…you idiot, you in the back wearing the Super Milk Chan T-shirt. I pity you.

School Letters and Surprises

Hardly able to move quickly enough, Harry listened to Ron and Hermione bicker as he tidied his apartment. He wasn't a horrible slob or anything like that, but in the few weeks he had been living here he just hadn't had time to clean in between games and practice, and so he had been left with the mess he was now so hurriedly trying to clear up.

"Can't you just stop trifling and help me?" Harry said in irritation to his friends. They immediately quieted and turned around to look at him.

"Oh, all right," said Hermione, giving her wand a wave to set a few cleaning spells into motion.

"Thanks," Harry said dryly and he sent a box of tissues flying to the side table.

"So, what time is Susan getting here?" said Ron.

Harry looked blankly at his watch before answering. "An hour. A bloody hour, and my apartment is still a right pigsty! Couldn't she have given me more than a day's warning?"

"She probably didn't know when you'd be free, you are rather hard to get to after all," said Hermione. "But now that you've only got one game to go, it'll all be over soon."

One game to go, yet another reason Harry's stomach had periodically been turning in knots ever since he had arrived. And not just any game—the game. Harry had helped get Britain into the World Cup.

"So, is it just Susan and her mom, or is she bringing her whole family?"

"Mom, dad, and her little sister, who coincidentally is beginning at Hogwarts this year," said Harry with a sigh.

"Don't forget Madam Bones, she's coming too," piped up Ron. Harry groaned and immediately turned his attention to the couch, fluffing several pillows and picking up a few that had fallen onto the floor.

"Why don't you just use magic?" said Hermione.

"I would, if I were very good at cleaning spells, but as you can see I'm not," Harry said, indicating a spell he had used to mop the kitchen which had ended up flooding the area. (Hermione had had to clean up the damage.)

She sighed and continued helping him. After about a half-hour, in which Ron grudgingly rearranged a few items to indicate that he was helping, they were finished. Well, Ron and Hermione were at any rate. Harry had to run to the shower and then change into his dress robes so he wouldn't look too horrible when meeting the Bones family.

"Oh, you look so nice!" Hermione commented as Harry entered.

"Thanks," he said, sitting down on the couch. "So, can you tell me why you two decided to visit today? I was a tad preoccupied before," he added.

"Oh, it's all right," said Hermione, not noting Harry's sarcasm. "Actually, we decided to visit today for two reasons. One, because your birthday is tomorrow and Mrs. Weasley would skin us alive if you didn't celebrate with friends, and two, because Dumbledore suggested we might want to leave Order Headquarters. He doesn't want Owl Post to be received there any longer as there have been complaints about too many owls in the area, and we should be receiving our letters today."

"Our letters?" said Harry, leaning up quickly.

Ron nodded emphatically. "Mum is really onto me about possibly getting Head Boy, it's highly likely since I've been a prefect. Of course, we're all sure Hermione will get Head Girl…"

"Ron!" said Hermione.

"Yeah right, like you don't already know you're the best girl in our year," he snorted, making her blush.

"Well, I'm interested in seeing who'll be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts," said Harry, "considering the circumstances."

"Hope it isn't Snape," said Ron.

"Oh, I don't think so, I've seen him recently. He doesn't exactly look happy—far from it. Dumbledore must have really gotten somebody Snape doesn't like."

They had been continuing in this vein for a little while when there was the expected knock at the door. Harry groaned and stood. "Well, here goes," he mumbled under his breath, making his way to the door and opening it.

He felt his breath leave him as Susan threw her arms around his waist. "Harry, it's been so long!" she said happily.

Harry smiled and hugged her back, risking a quick peck on the cheek. "I'm so glad to see you Susan," he managed before she moved off to the side. A slight woman with light brown hair and a heavily-built man with black hair were facing him. "Mr. and Mrs. Bones, I'm glad to meet you," he said, extending his hand.

"We're honored to meet you," said Mrs. Bones, taking his hand immediately. "We keep in touch with Professor Dumbledore and we know what you've done for all of us—and not just the school."

"And what you've done for Britain—and the sport—doesn't hurt," said Mr. Bones with a wink.

"Dad's a huge Quidditch fan," whispered Susan. "And he already has money down for us in the World Cup."

Harry gulped.

"So, do you want to come in?" he said after a moment.

"Oh yes, of course," said Mrs. Bones, "just as soon as Claudia gets up here."

As she said this, a little girl with curly black hair and Susan's deep blue eyes appeared behind her parents.

"You're Harry Potter," she said, looking up at him. "The-Boy-Who-Lived."

"And you're my girlfriend's little sister, Claudia," Harry said, extending his hand to her.

She took it and smiled. "You can call me Dee," she said. "You know I'm starting this year. I want to be in Gryffindor."

"Hufflepuff isn't bad," said Susan with a grin.

"But Gryffindor is just…so cool!" said Dee.

Ron nodded emphatically. "It is, best in the school."

"Ron!" Hermione said. Ron emitted a huff of air which indicated that he had been elbowed in the ribs, but only Harry would notice this—he'd been around long enough to know when this was the case.

The three of them had just made their way into the apartment when there was a loud crack in the entryway. Everybody turned to see Madam Bones standing there, looking as stern as the day she had when she had first encountered Harry in the courtroom.

"Ah, there you are," she said as she came towards him and extended her hand. "I wanted to offer you a handshake that day in congratulations of your Patronus, but it seems as if that might have been frowned upon considering the circumstances of that time."

Harry took her hand. "Of course, I understand," he said.

"And besides that, I would like to offer you a well-done in regards to what you've done for Albus Dumbledore. Facing Lord Voldemort as many times as you have and surviving every encounter, and besides that becoming stronger at every encounter, now that is a feat in itself. It almost makes me long for those old days in the Order."

"You were in the Order?" said Hermione suddenly.

"You bet," said Madam Bones, making Susan laugh.

"Er…well, would everybody like to sit down? I can get drinks," he said. "Ron can help?"

Harry heard another huff of air in Ron's direction as he opened his mouth to protest, making him grin despite himself. Ron stood and walked over to Harry.

"I'll have a soda!" said Dee.

"Same for the rest of us," added Mrs. Bones.

"Firewhisky, if you've got it."

Harry looked at Madam Bones, noting the look in her eyes. "I might," he said. "All of the apartments for Quidditch players come stocked with the 'essentials' as Liam calls them."

He prepared the drinks, shaking his head slightly at the fumes that came from the Firewhiskey. It was strong stuff—of course, he was now of age to drink it so there wasn't too much he could say.

He handed out the drinks and sat down beside Susan on the couch.

"You know, you're pretty tall," said Madam Bones. "I once spoke to a witch who says she met you in The Leaky Cauldron and she told me you were rather a short lad."

"I used to be," Harry said, a little surprised to find that it was Susan's aunt who would be cross-examining him. It almost felt like he was back on trial. "I think I'm about six foot even, now."

"Still a shorty," Ron jested.

Harry raised a brow. "Well, you're practically a giant, mister six-foot-four."

"Guys," said Hermione in a stage whisper to Susan, who laughed back.

They spoke for a while, and were engaged in conversation when a pecking was heard at the window. Harry turned to see five owls at the window and quickly crossed over to open it.

One owl dropped a letter straight into his hands, while the others circled the room and dropped them in the hands of their intended before leaving once more.

Harry walked back to the couch. "I guess this is it," he said as he returned to the sofa.

"Our letters," said Susan, looking at hers. "Funny, it has my name but the address of your apartment Harry."

"I have a letter too!" squealed Dee.

"Of course you do, dear," said her mother, who was in the process of giving her daughter a huge hug.

Hermione took a deep breath. "Let's all open them at once, shall we?" she said.

Harry and Ron nodded, while Susan grinned at being part of the 'infamous trio'.

And they tore into their letters. Among the four friends, there were four separate, very unique reactions.

A squeal of delight from Hermione, a loud 'bugger!' from Ron, a frown from Susan as she read the reading list, and then there was Harry, who was reading over and over a certain slip of paper that had fallen into his hands as if he could scarcely believe it was real.

"I've got it, I'm Head Girl!" said Hermione. She whipped out a golden badge emblazoned with HG and instantly pinned it proudly on her sweater.

"And I'm the bloody Head Boy," said Ron, his eyes now grown to the size of saucers. "I can't believe it. Fred and George are going to skin me."

"Head Boy?"said Hermione in excitement. "You and me? This is incredible, I'm so proud of you Ron! I knew it would be either you or Harry!" So saying, she threw her arms around her befuddled boyfriends, planting a kiss on his lips as if they weren't in front of their best friend as well as his girlfriend and her entire family.

"Congratulations, you two," said Susan with a smile. "Of course, everybody was certain about you Hermione, but it's really cool to hear it. All official and the like. And you both get your own bedrooms!"

All of a sudden Ron grinned. "Hah, now it's not just you who get's your own room Harry," he said in amusement. "And at least I don't have to contend with Lord Hornswaggle."

But Harry didn't respond. He was still staring in shock at the letter in his hand. "What is it?" said Hermione. Rather than speak, he handed her the letter that he had already seemed to read a hundred times.

Harry,

I know it seems a bit sudden and you may always refuse me if you wish, but I have had no luck in finding an acceptable person to fill the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts. I have every intention of helping you in terms of assignments, especially those in regards to essays and practical portions, but nowhere in my school is there to be found one so skilled in the various forms of defenses as you. If you would accept, I would like to give you a position as Student Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Sincerely,

Dumbledore

Hermione's eyes also widened. "Harry's been made a professor," she said breathlessly.

"What?" Ron grabbed the letter and read it. "Blimey, you have!" he said in shock.

Madam Bones heard this and turned to gaze to Harry. "May I see that, please?" she asked. Harry nodded and, taking it back from Ron, handed it to her. She put her glasses on and perused it. After a long moment she removed it and handed the letter back to Harry.

"I must say, it's good to have a Headmaster who makes such wise decisions," she said with a nod. "I honestly haven't approved of all his staff decisions, but…this is a good one. A very beneficial one in my opinion. I only hope that the curse of all other Defense Against the Dark Arts professor's doesn't befall you."

Harry shook his head, still hardly able to believe it. He was suddenly very glad that he had long since quit Divination—the predictions of his death this time around would have been far too much to handle.

Another chapter finished, and this one had quite the interesting twist, now didn't it? I know it isn't totally original, but I thought it would make a good end to the story. And I just didn't want Snape to leave his dungeon. I like Snape in his dungeon, it makes him even sexier. Good Snape. Gooooooooooooooooooood Snapey-poo.