And I Feel Home
by Tina
I'm really-really-really aprehensive about this fic... But I guess it could turn into something interesting, so if you guys bear with me, I promise it will look up! I just can't skip this introduction, really, so just follow me :) Thanks!
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"Was it good for you?"
Rachel glanced at Pete-the-weeper - weeping indeed! - and pulled the sheets up closer to her body. Her frustration was rising. Not just sexual, but emotional too. Watching Pete's family and the way he acted with her, sometimes it was so clear how she was simply a way of retreat for him. Just... not in a good way. She felt used.
He was lonely, he needed love. And he seemed to discharge it all on her. Sometimes she'd pat him on the head and say it was okay. Sometimes it was endearing the way he cried when they had sex. But she knew that's all it really was. Sex. Never love. They had not reached that level when they could say they were leaning on each other because they wanted to. It was merely because they needed.
Anyone would do it, she thought. 'Doesn't matter if it's me or anybody else'. As long as he has someone to fuck once in a while and make him feel a little better about himself, he'd keep his feelings concealled.
Anyone at all.
Nevertheless, Rachel gave him a weak smile. She didn't bother to look much enthusiastic, by now she knew that it wasn't going to matter to the situation. Would he care about the fact she never really reached climax with him? Would it really change anything? Their intimate times, after all, were never about that.
Never about her sexual needs. And never really about his either.
"Yes, it was"
He whiped tears from his face and turned to face her.
"So... How have you been?"
Yeah, sex first, then talk. Rachel sighed.
"Long...!"
"Plans for the weekend?"
"Oh, yeah, actually, I got this thing on saturday to go to. Monica's going to be cooking in this hotel, I don't know, I didn't get it well, but I'm supposed to go"
"This saturday?"
"Yeah"
"What about Mary Ann's baby shower?"
"That's this saturday?"
"Yes, I told you!"
"No, Pete, you were supposed to call me about that!"
"Well, whatever, Rach!"
Rachel eyed him, her temper rising.
"Sorry, no can do. I promised Monica!"
"Can't you call her and explain it?"
"No!"
"Why not?"
"Because she's my best friend, ok? I'm not missing this, it's very important to her!"
"It's just a silly dinner!"
"And it's just a silly baby shower. I'm not going to this thing, Pete, quit it!"
"Rachel, you HAVE to, ok? You're my girlfriend!"
"So what?"
"So people except you to be there!"
Rachel sighed and sat up on the bed. She was sick of people expecting her to do this and that...! Social events like that sucked. The polite smiles, fake laughter, it was all too much to take at the moment. She was not going to let someone as important to her as Monica down for that.
"Well, I don't care, Pete" she reached for her bra and panties and put them on, standing up when she was done. "I promised Monica"
"You promised me!"
Rachel shot him a look.
"I don't care! This means a lot to her and I'm not gonna let her down simply because you have other things for me to do! I don't even like Mary Ann, Pete!"
"Why not?!"
"I don't even know her, for one! I'm just gonna be there to represent you and damn it, we've only been going out for a few months, this is ridiculous!" she found her dress and slipped it on.
"Okay, okay, that's fine, Rachel. Then can I join you on this thing?"
Rachel looked at him and sighed. No, no... He would ruin everything.
"I would rather if you didn't"
"What?! Why?"
"Just because. You don't know them!"
"Would be a nice chance for that to happen, don't you think?"
"Pete..."
"Rachel, I'm your boyfriend! It's my obligation!"
"It is not. I CAN go out by myself, you know?"
"Well, you shouldn't!"
Her temper was sent skyrocketting once again.
"Pete, for the last time, I don't need someone on my side 24/7, ok? If you're gonna do this, we better end this now! I'm 20 years old and we're not married!"
"But Rachel, my mother-"
Rachel sighed so loud that it cut him.
"Okay, I can't take this anymore, that's it. I'll talk to you later and I hope you tell your mommy about this. I hope she can come up with a good solution for us!"
She finished grabbing her stuff and left.
-------------------------------------------------
It was not untill she had parked her car in her own garage spot that Rachel stopped to finally look into a mirror. Her make up was blurred, her hair was a mess. She tried to look the best she could before entering her house, drawing atention to her appearance was the last thing she needed.
When she entered the kitchen, she faced a scene she'd never seen in her wildest dream. Her mother was staring into a cooking book, wearing oven mints and standing right next to a pot. Heavy smoke was coming out of it and the smell was undoubtfully one of cabonised... anything.
"Mom, what are you doing?"
Sandra Green looked up at Rachel. She looked composed, or at least trying to remain that way. But Rachel knew better. She was desperate.
"What does it look like I'm doing, honey?"
"Okay, er... Why are you cooking?"
"Do you by any chance happen to know how to make a casserole?"
"Are you kidding me?" Rachel shrugged and approached the stove, turning it down. "Mom, what happened?"
Sandra looked at Rachel and sighed. Rachel's heart started beating like mad.
"Sweetie, I know you'll be upset and I wish I could say I'm sorry, but..."
"What?"
"It's Rosa."
"What about her?"
"We had to let her go"
"What, why??"
"Rachel, come on, you were the one complaining to me about things that have gone missing..."
"What?! MOM!! I was telling you because Jill and Amy were stealing my stuff!! Not Rosa, come on!"
"Oh, Rachel, why would your sisters do that?"
"Why would Rosa do that?"
"Rachel, don't be naive!"
"You're the one to talk! Jill and Amy have always taken my stuff and you know Rosa would never steal from us! I cannot believe you did that!"
"Oh, enough with the drama, Rachel. Now would you help me out with dinner? Your father will be right home and I'll hear till no end if we don't have something to set in that table!"
"No!" Rachel stepped back, disgusted.
"We'll get a new maid soon, I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this"
"Mother, she is a person, you know? Do you have any idea how much you must've insulted her with this? Call her now, say you'll give her her job back!"
"Okay, Rachel, this has gone too far. If you don't want to help me, fine. But don't get on the way either. Of course I won't call her back, what are you taking me for?"
Rachel sighed and shook her head.
"I cannot believe you...!"
She turned around and left the kitchen.
--------------------------------------------
Rachel felt so alone. So small and unprotected. She colapsed onto her bed and stared at the three picture frames she kept on her nightstand. Three families. So different from one another.
First, she fixated on the Greens. Their presense in the picture was so strong. Yet... she knew they were all anywhere but there. They were never there, even when they were. Their minds always too far, despite the sweet words and suposebly tender gestures. Rachel knew her parents loved her, but it was just not enough. There was more to love then pet names and expensive gifts.
The Carney's, hidden behind the heavy jewelry and expensive looks. Rachel wondered if there was any sentiment at all that linked them together. Sometimes they didn't bother to desguise just how shallow they were. Rachel herself had already witnessed many conversations when Catherine Carney actually confessed she just married Pete's father for the money. Poor Pete, no atention at all. Rachel couldn't imagine just how lonely he really must've been.
And finally, the Gellers. Not hiding behind anything but their true smiles.
Rachel picked that picture frame up and smiled.
She had grown up with them, she somehow felt like a part of the family, already. Judy was so sweet and caring. Though she annoyed Monica with little things that Rachel had to admit that would be hard to take, she knew better. She was just over concerned. Her love was strong and she was a role model for all mothers out there.
Jack was so sweet and such a simple guy. Rachel wondered how things would be like if her own father was like that. Easily satisfied, happy with the small things. Rachel constantly found hereself giggling at the satisfaction in Monica's father's face everytime a simple comercial he liked came up on t.v.. And he was so honest and right.
Monica was like a sister to her, already. She couldn't believe how much she loved her best friend, sometimes. Monica was so sweet and down to Earth. She knew what the important things in life were, she had clearily inherited that from her parents. The best things in life weren't up for sale. You could never buy a smile that would carry you up to cloud number nine.
Rachel scanned the picture again and finally noticed Ross. She rarely paid atention to his figure on that right botton corner. 'Should ask Mon for a new picture', Rachel thought. Not only Monica was still many pounds heavier in it, but Ross also looked way too different. He still carried that awful mustage and bad perm from his college freshmen year.
She remembered her past few enconters with him and how different he looked. 'Not bad'. Ross was a sweet quiet guy and Rachel had always known about his crush on her since he was 15. She wondered if he still felt the same after so many years. 'Ah, he's with Carol now...'
But then she glued her eyes back on the picture and wondered.
'Since when does that really mean anything?'
Guilt and excitment mixed and almost exploded inside of her.
'What if...'
--------------------------------------
Yeah, guess next chapter will be much more interesting :) Don't have much to say right now, just want some reviews to understand how you guys are taking this, please! Mwah, thanks for reading!
by Tina
I'm really-really-really aprehensive about this fic... But I guess it could turn into something interesting, so if you guys bear with me, I promise it will look up! I just can't skip this introduction, really, so just follow me :) Thanks!
-----------------------------
"Was it good for you?"
Rachel glanced at Pete-the-weeper - weeping indeed! - and pulled the sheets up closer to her body. Her frustration was rising. Not just sexual, but emotional too. Watching Pete's family and the way he acted with her, sometimes it was so clear how she was simply a way of retreat for him. Just... not in a good way. She felt used.
He was lonely, he needed love. And he seemed to discharge it all on her. Sometimes she'd pat him on the head and say it was okay. Sometimes it was endearing the way he cried when they had sex. But she knew that's all it really was. Sex. Never love. They had not reached that level when they could say they were leaning on each other because they wanted to. It was merely because they needed.
Anyone would do it, she thought. 'Doesn't matter if it's me or anybody else'. As long as he has someone to fuck once in a while and make him feel a little better about himself, he'd keep his feelings concealled.
Anyone at all.
Nevertheless, Rachel gave him a weak smile. She didn't bother to look much enthusiastic, by now she knew that it wasn't going to matter to the situation. Would he care about the fact she never really reached climax with him? Would it really change anything? Their intimate times, after all, were never about that.
Never about her sexual needs. And never really about his either.
"Yes, it was"
He whiped tears from his face and turned to face her.
"So... How have you been?"
Yeah, sex first, then talk. Rachel sighed.
"Long...!"
"Plans for the weekend?"
"Oh, yeah, actually, I got this thing on saturday to go to. Monica's going to be cooking in this hotel, I don't know, I didn't get it well, but I'm supposed to go"
"This saturday?"
"Yeah"
"What about Mary Ann's baby shower?"
"That's this saturday?"
"Yes, I told you!"
"No, Pete, you were supposed to call me about that!"
"Well, whatever, Rach!"
Rachel eyed him, her temper rising.
"Sorry, no can do. I promised Monica!"
"Can't you call her and explain it?"
"No!"
"Why not?"
"Because she's my best friend, ok? I'm not missing this, it's very important to her!"
"It's just a silly dinner!"
"And it's just a silly baby shower. I'm not going to this thing, Pete, quit it!"
"Rachel, you HAVE to, ok? You're my girlfriend!"
"So what?"
"So people except you to be there!"
Rachel sighed and sat up on the bed. She was sick of people expecting her to do this and that...! Social events like that sucked. The polite smiles, fake laughter, it was all too much to take at the moment. She was not going to let someone as important to her as Monica down for that.
"Well, I don't care, Pete" she reached for her bra and panties and put them on, standing up when she was done. "I promised Monica"
"You promised me!"
Rachel shot him a look.
"I don't care! This means a lot to her and I'm not gonna let her down simply because you have other things for me to do! I don't even like Mary Ann, Pete!"
"Why not?!"
"I don't even know her, for one! I'm just gonna be there to represent you and damn it, we've only been going out for a few months, this is ridiculous!" she found her dress and slipped it on.
"Okay, okay, that's fine, Rachel. Then can I join you on this thing?"
Rachel looked at him and sighed. No, no... He would ruin everything.
"I would rather if you didn't"
"What?! Why?"
"Just because. You don't know them!"
"Would be a nice chance for that to happen, don't you think?"
"Pete..."
"Rachel, I'm your boyfriend! It's my obligation!"
"It is not. I CAN go out by myself, you know?"
"Well, you shouldn't!"
Her temper was sent skyrocketting once again.
"Pete, for the last time, I don't need someone on my side 24/7, ok? If you're gonna do this, we better end this now! I'm 20 years old and we're not married!"
"But Rachel, my mother-"
Rachel sighed so loud that it cut him.
"Okay, I can't take this anymore, that's it. I'll talk to you later and I hope you tell your mommy about this. I hope she can come up with a good solution for us!"
She finished grabbing her stuff and left.
-------------------------------------------------
It was not untill she had parked her car in her own garage spot that Rachel stopped to finally look into a mirror. Her make up was blurred, her hair was a mess. She tried to look the best she could before entering her house, drawing atention to her appearance was the last thing she needed.
When she entered the kitchen, she faced a scene she'd never seen in her wildest dream. Her mother was staring into a cooking book, wearing oven mints and standing right next to a pot. Heavy smoke was coming out of it and the smell was undoubtfully one of cabonised... anything.
"Mom, what are you doing?"
Sandra Green looked up at Rachel. She looked composed, or at least trying to remain that way. But Rachel knew better. She was desperate.
"What does it look like I'm doing, honey?"
"Okay, er... Why are you cooking?"
"Do you by any chance happen to know how to make a casserole?"
"Are you kidding me?" Rachel shrugged and approached the stove, turning it down. "Mom, what happened?"
Sandra looked at Rachel and sighed. Rachel's heart started beating like mad.
"Sweetie, I know you'll be upset and I wish I could say I'm sorry, but..."
"What?"
"It's Rosa."
"What about her?"
"We had to let her go"
"What, why??"
"Rachel, come on, you were the one complaining to me about things that have gone missing..."
"What?! MOM!! I was telling you because Jill and Amy were stealing my stuff!! Not Rosa, come on!"
"Oh, Rachel, why would your sisters do that?"
"Why would Rosa do that?"
"Rachel, don't be naive!"
"You're the one to talk! Jill and Amy have always taken my stuff and you know Rosa would never steal from us! I cannot believe you did that!"
"Oh, enough with the drama, Rachel. Now would you help me out with dinner? Your father will be right home and I'll hear till no end if we don't have something to set in that table!"
"No!" Rachel stepped back, disgusted.
"We'll get a new maid soon, I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this"
"Mother, she is a person, you know? Do you have any idea how much you must've insulted her with this? Call her now, say you'll give her her job back!"
"Okay, Rachel, this has gone too far. If you don't want to help me, fine. But don't get on the way either. Of course I won't call her back, what are you taking me for?"
Rachel sighed and shook her head.
"I cannot believe you...!"
She turned around and left the kitchen.
--------------------------------------------
Rachel felt so alone. So small and unprotected. She colapsed onto her bed and stared at the three picture frames she kept on her nightstand. Three families. So different from one another.
First, she fixated on the Greens. Their presense in the picture was so strong. Yet... she knew they were all anywhere but there. They were never there, even when they were. Their minds always too far, despite the sweet words and suposebly tender gestures. Rachel knew her parents loved her, but it was just not enough. There was more to love then pet names and expensive gifts.
The Carney's, hidden behind the heavy jewelry and expensive looks. Rachel wondered if there was any sentiment at all that linked them together. Sometimes they didn't bother to desguise just how shallow they were. Rachel herself had already witnessed many conversations when Catherine Carney actually confessed she just married Pete's father for the money. Poor Pete, no atention at all. Rachel couldn't imagine just how lonely he really must've been.
And finally, the Gellers. Not hiding behind anything but their true smiles.
Rachel picked that picture frame up and smiled.
She had grown up with them, she somehow felt like a part of the family, already. Judy was so sweet and caring. Though she annoyed Monica with little things that Rachel had to admit that would be hard to take, she knew better. She was just over concerned. Her love was strong and she was a role model for all mothers out there.
Jack was so sweet and such a simple guy. Rachel wondered how things would be like if her own father was like that. Easily satisfied, happy with the small things. Rachel constantly found hereself giggling at the satisfaction in Monica's father's face everytime a simple comercial he liked came up on t.v.. And he was so honest and right.
Monica was like a sister to her, already. She couldn't believe how much she loved her best friend, sometimes. Monica was so sweet and down to Earth. She knew what the important things in life were, she had clearily inherited that from her parents. The best things in life weren't up for sale. You could never buy a smile that would carry you up to cloud number nine.
Rachel scanned the picture again and finally noticed Ross. She rarely paid atention to his figure on that right botton corner. 'Should ask Mon for a new picture', Rachel thought. Not only Monica was still many pounds heavier in it, but Ross also looked way too different. He still carried that awful mustage and bad perm from his college freshmen year.
She remembered her past few enconters with him and how different he looked. 'Not bad'. Ross was a sweet quiet guy and Rachel had always known about his crush on her since he was 15. She wondered if he still felt the same after so many years. 'Ah, he's with Carol now...'
But then she glued her eyes back on the picture and wondered.
'Since when does that really mean anything?'
Guilt and excitment mixed and almost exploded inside of her.
'What if...'
--------------------------------------
Yeah, guess next chapter will be much more interesting :) Don't have much to say right now, just want some reviews to understand how you guys are taking this, please! Mwah, thanks for reading!