Changes by choice By: lighthope1

I don't own anything except what I make up. CBS owns all copyrights.

Joan sat up in her hospital bed the darkness surrounded the room. Her mother had just left, to take Will and the boys home and then come back later. Joan's dark brown hair covered her face; her eyes were all misty all she wanted was to get better. She entwined her fingers in the blankets covering her legs and tears kept running down on to her pale hands. Adam hadn't believed her and now she knew that the disease had caused the delusions and images of people who didn't exist. She also decided in her head that God didn't exist to her. She couldn't believe in him anymore, certainly not after this. That moment after she thought that it was best to keep quiet. At first she cared how it would affect people but then she decided to think what was best for her. Joan wouldn't talk after that moment and she knew it would be the hardest thing to do to her family and friends. She lay back down and closed her eyes to a world she had known of voices and the silent one ahead.

The next months went slow for Joan. With her abrupt silence it shocked everyone. She wouldn't respond to her mother or father. Her brothers felt helpless just trying to make her speak. Grace and Adam had for a long time not given up on her but it came a day that they to lost hope. She wouldn't look anyone in the eye and the smile everyone had loved was gone forever. They tried writing on paper but she would tear it up or shove it away. Only in pain would she scream or make a noise. People came all around to help her but she pushed them away too. Joan had closed herself in a glass box of sorts and wouldn't leave it. She left everyone hopeless and she wouldn't speak was a mystery beyond everyone else except herself. Even time wares away reasons and it becomes a habit.

(4 years later)

Joan sat on the swing on the dorm porch at Davidson College. Her past 4 years were hard on her parents as she remembered it. She finally after a year decided to go on with her studies but she only would do it in the safety of her house. She would lock herself in her room and study for hours and take the test her mom told her to take. She made excellent grades and with summer school for the next 3 years she got caught up with Adam and Grace. The only difference was she didn't speak at all. She spoke in her room by herself looking into her mirror and to make sure she wasn't losing her voice. Luke came home early one day and heard her but she had locked the door so he couldn't confront her.

She hadn't seen anyone from her encounters that first year of high school since Adam and Grace gave up. She felt safe when she was by herself. Adam had made her look at him before he left. As simple as 1.2.3.he kissed her and said, "I will always love you Jane but your hurting me and everyone that loves you. Why can't you just come back to us?" Then he had stood up and walked away and never looked back again. Helen would tell her of Adam's progress on his art and how he had found new inspiration that she couldn't understand either. He also had applied to many art schools and ended up in California. Joan showed no sign of happiness for it.

One day the mail brought important news of college acceptances. She opened the one that said Davidson College and she had gotten accepted. She ran to her mother and grinned, that one expression hadn't happened for years. "Mom, I got into Davidson." Helen envisioned what her daughter might have said. For the past few years that's how it was. She would predict what Joan would have said if she were talking. The smile showed that her daughter wasn't totally lost too. Joan would write on paper, type on the computer and learned fluent sign language. Helen was determined to understand her daughter and learned sign language too. Will and the boys didn't though and withdrew from Joan. Will was stressed over his daughter's predicament but as the years moved on he understood she had found another voice.

Arcadia high school had asked Joan to write something for the graduation class. Even though she didn't go to school there she had learned sign language and the home learning program came from there too. She was meant to graduate with that class even if she didn't really go to the school but she had taken the same exams and finals. It had taken Joan three days to write the perfect paper and she gave it to her mom to read. Helen looked at her daughter with glossy eyes and Joan wrote on a piece of paper. "Well?" Helen spoke, "Its really great Joan I think even though writing isn't your strongest point this is excellent!" Joan grinned for the second time in 10 minutes and wrote, "Can you give it to the school for me?" Helen nodded and hugged her daughter again.

Next day: Graduation day

It was almost like a dream for Joan. The graduation garb was perfect and she signed to her mother. Tell them thanks for me mom. Mrs. Girardi nodded and said that to the lady with the fitting kit. After leaving the shop, Joan signed, I'm going for a walk mom. Do you want me to get anything from the store? I got some money. Mrs. Girardi was shocked by her daughter's question. Joan had avoided the outside as much as possible but with Davidson college acceptance she was acting different. Helen signed, How about milk, pasta, and bread. We are eating Italian tonight. Do you have enough money for that? Joan nodded and walked toward the grocery store.

As she walked in she saw Grace, Iris, Luke, and Adam at the soda bar making the boy behind the counter make smoothes. Joan walked in as slyly as she could. She didn't want to face her old friends not until tonight. As she grabbed the pasta she over heard Grace. "So Luke how is Girardi hold up?" Luke looked up from his strawberry- banana swirl and said, "Joan's doing excellent. Do you know who's written the special speech for the class?" Adam, Iris and Grace shook there heads and said, "Maybe one of the wiz kids of like a football player." Joan didn't want to hear anymore. She took her purchases to the check out and paid for the items. Grace looked over as the cash lady said, "Your not much of a talker are you? Your Will's kid right?" Joan nodded and turned around to see Luke and Grace staring. She grabbed her things and walked outside to the frosty afternoon. Grace gave a weird look at Luke. "That's first isn't it Luke?" Luke was almost out the door though and Adam, Iris and Grace tagging along too.

OK your going to love the speech and next chapter just plz read this.

Lighthope1