Marauders' Match-making Inc.
Hey… It's me again. I have just a few things to say, mostly to the people who read "Hypocrites" on the Harry Potter boards. I'm really sorry about the boards thing. I guess that thread will eventually be deleted, which is fine; I haven't posted there in months… But it just really sucks to not be able to talk to you guys. And to Kaitlyn—I can't find your thread!! Can you give me the link, if it's not "archived" (curses WB)?
This chapter is dedicated to my friends on the HP boards— Lauren, Missy, Kaitlyn, Jessie, Lacey, Sasha and many more… You know who you are and this one, guys, this chapter is dedicated to you. You guys are my inspiration to write since all of you are awesome authors. Talk to you soon (hopefully and if the WB will permit it).
By the way-- Updates may be very slow (like this one...but hopefully not as long) because I've been very busy lately. So please be patient. I don't enjoy having people yell at me because I didn't update quick enough. I'm sorry, but I do have other things to do.
-Kait
Disclaimer: The plot of this story is loosely based on the ABC Family movie, "See Jane Date." The characters are property of J.K. Rowling. The only things that belong to me are the changes I made to the plot I borrowed and the new characters that you don't recognize from the Harry Potter books. Is that alright with you then?
Chapter Sixteen: We Always Knew Remus Was the Smart One
Remus Lupin was sitting comfortably in an armchair by the fire, peacefully reading a book, when a disturbingly loud knock came from his door.
"Moo-ony…," the voice called, sounding oddly like Sirius after too much rum.
Remus glanced carefully at the clock before he went to the door. He almost felt like letting Sirius think no one was home. He really couldn't deal with him right now…There was only ten minutes until…well…he had to leave for…he just, he knew he had to leave soon.
"If you're drunk, no one's home!"
"MOONY! Let me in!"
This time with the yell, it was accompanied by a number of poundings on the door. They were so loud that Remus was getting a slight headache as he started to cover his ears.
That was the perfect way to describe Sirius, Remus decided. He was, quite simply, a slight headache.
"Fine, fine," Remus muttered, getting up to unlock the door and reluctantly let a disgruntled Sirius through it.
Sirius gave him an annoyed look as he passed by him, "And for the record, I am not drunk." He paused for a moment, in thought. "That was yesterday."
His companion just ignored him and busied himself with inspecting his door. There were loads of cracks from Sirius' pounding, he noted.
Sirius, on the other hand, sat down in Remus' chair, waiting impatiently.
"You know what, Padfoot," Remus started, feeling quite peeved as he eyed his door, "If doors could talk, they would send you heartfelt death wishes."
Sirius sat up much straighter. "Good thing they can't talk, then."
His friend just seemed to be overacting too much, Sirius figured. Quite suddenly, though, Remus dropped the matter of his door and focused on getting Sirius to leave. "So what are you doing here?"
"Can't a friend visit every so often? And I wanted to talk to you."
"Well, aren't I lucky," Remus quipped under his breath. "What about?"
"I came here to talk about a plan for the Lily and you-know-who thing," Sirius looked behind him quickly at the door, complete with a nice little welcome mat that had been thrown in the corner.
"What, James?"
"Shhh…," Sirius chastised him quietly, "James came with me; he stopped down on the 3rd floor to talk to Frank."
"Well?" Remus asked, checking the clock again, "What do you have in mind?"
Sirius looked around at Remus' flat, taking in the smell of burn toast and coffee and glancing at the patched up couch and worn-in throw rug. "I don't know. I thought maybe you'd have an idea."
"Well, how about this," he answered with a quick thought, "How about you and I meet up with Lily tomorrow at the Three Broomsticks?"
Sirius didn't even bother to think of his schedule and said, "Sure. See you there Moony."
"See you where?"
James entered the flat, pushing the already open door wider and grinned. "Is it to find a new best friend, because you know, if it is…I'm all for it."
"No where," Sirius said quickly to cover up his blunder, "We are not going anywhere."
Remus backed away from Sirius and went into the kitchen. He was just so fed up with this. Why did everyone want to appear at the most inconvenient time? He had somewhere to be! As he picked up a file of papers, he replied wearily, "Apparently."
"So where are you going, then?"
"Well, right now, I have to go to," Remus' voice faltered for a moment as he came out from the kitchen. He didn't want to lie to them. "A meeting."
"Oh, sounds serious," Sirius said with feigned concern and turned to grin slyly at James, then he went on, "Do you want us to come?"
"Of course he does," James replied for Remus, his eyes shining laughingly, "We go everywhere—"
"Listen," Remus interrupted hastily, "I have to get going. If I'm late, the person I'm meeting won't be very happy."
The two others in the room looked a bit shocked at his tone. They simply just stared at Remus' own blank face that was hiding something…What exactly that something was, they had yet to find out… but rest assured they would try.
"It's just a friend from the Order." Remus tried to assure them nothing was wrong. "He just needs my help with some Order work."
James' frown eased into a smile as he replied. "Well that makes sense. You're the cleverest person I know."
"What about me?" Sirius questioned in an annoyed tone. "I'm not exactly stupid."
"No comment."
"Agreed," Remus said, joining in. He was just happy that his friends weren't angry about him not being able to be around as much…What with job interviews…and other things to worry about.
"Well…we'll go now, right Padfoot?"
Sirius' face lit up into a bright smile. "Yeah! Let's go visit Frank." And with that he walked off and out the door, "Until tomorrow, Moony!"
"Poor Frank Longbottom," Remus murmured jokingly with a grin on his handsome face. "We knew him well."
"We did. At least he's not drunk." James laughed and made a move for the door. "I'd better go and save him from making a bet with Sirius anyway."
"He always loses, doesn't he?"
"Yes… Even when he's not had one too many… So, I'll see you later Moony?"
"Yeah," Remus said with a thin smile and ushered him out, "Now go save Frank."
"Right you are," James replied and dashed out the doorway with a quick goodbye.
Remus, the only remaining person in the room heaved a sigh. He'd covered his tracks for the moment.
What he couldn't tell them was why he kept lying and stating that he had job interviews. He'd been helping Gideon Prewett all this time with work on Ministry files and helping him through the fact the Voldemort was after him. Once you're told that Voldemort is out to kill you, your self-esteem pretty much plummets. Which is why Remus was spending so much time trying to make sure he didn't go insane and end up dying in St. Mungo's…
Remus didn't quite understand why Gideon wouldn't let Remus tell his friends where he kept having to run off to. But apparently, Gideon claimed that he didn't want anyone to treat him oddly or not talk to him for fear of feeling Voldemort's wrath as well.
Remus sighed again slowly dropped into his couch.
Was he going to have to keep lying forever?
------------
Lily sat angrily at a table in the Three Broomsticks. She felt foolish sitting there while the Hogwarts students milled around buying drinks and exchanging early Christmas presents. At least she didn't feel old, she considered. A total of five male students had tried to sit with her and a couple even attempted to hit on her.
Since she wasn't interested and didn't feel much like moving or talking, it was very lucky for her that Sirius, seated next to her, had very imaginative ways of scaring the off while also scaring them out of their wits. The first teenager had been easy enough. He just casually slung his arm around her shoulders and shot the kid a murderous look.
Once again, Lily had a solid opinion.
Thank heavens for Sirius.
True, she hadn't had the same thought when he dragged her off the couch from under her comfy, quilted blankets and away from her always reliable ice-cream to come here.
Ice Cream. That was reliable.
Guys… Not so much.
Guys could rip your heart out and smash it to pieces…But ice cream, the worst ice cream could do was give you a brain freeze.
Personally, Lily would rather be frozen all over than have a defective and damaged heart.
Lily thought for a second. Is it bad to think about ice cream this much? Can you gain pounds by just thinking about it? Lily highly doubted it but she supposed anything was possible.
OH MY—, she thought thoroughly shocked with herself, I sound just like SIRIUS when he's being a loony.
Bad thoughts! Get the stupid thoughts out of your head. Once they're in there they never vacate the premise!
"Knut for your thoughts, honey," Sirius said sweetly…and loudly, to scare off another teenager. He squeezed her shoulders tightly as he brought her crashing into a big hug. It felt like she had just been attacked by a fuzzy children's program star. Like the Cookie Monster or something…
You don't want to hear my thoughts, honey. The might sound a bit like yours…though probably not at the current moment.
Lily gasped for a second, being taken of guard and whispered as best she could, "Sirius…I need to take in air occasionally."
"That's a boring thought," he joked, keeping her in his tight grasp as he waited for the boy to leave. "That's right. Move your arse," he mumbled under his breath. Lily didn't say anymore as she couldn't for lack of air.
"Hullo," Remus said smiling at the pair and grabbing a chair to sit with them then continued, "Padfoot, if you want Lily to die, go ahead and keep smothering her."
To Lily's happiness, Sirius loosen he grip around her. "Sorry, Lil…," He turned to Remus to explain, "It's just… There was this guy… He was about to make a pass on Lily."
Remus raised his eyebrows and laughed while Lily coughed to get her breath back, "So Lily can't tell them off herself?"
"She can," Sirius said a bit guiltily (It seemed that every time he talked to Remus he felt guilty for something.), "She just didn't feel like it."
"So now he's your flunky?" Remus asked with a sardonic grin spread across his face. The comment was not really directed towards Lily; he just wanted to see if Sirius would bite at that remark.
He was right in thinking he would as Sirius sent him a look.
"NO." Sirius answered indignantly, "I was just helping to get rid of—,"
"Hey," Lily interrupted, waving her hands between the two guys, "The next time a guy tries to flirt with me, I'll tell him off. How's that?"
Remus grinned knowingly as he watched a certain someone walk into the pub. "That sounds perfect."
"Well, then," Lily laughed as Sirius ordered another drink. "You're certainly smug today. Did you finally get that job you were fighting for at the department in St. Mungo's?"
Remus looked away from the only person over eighteen currently seated at the bar to answer her question. "Not exactly, but soon I'm hoping. The job doesn't have many other applicants, from what I'm told... So it seems to be going that way."
"That's good news, Moony. Better than the rejection letters you've been collecting."
"Wow…," Lily said as she shot Sirius a look, "You're really sensitive, aren't you?"
"I am when I need to be," he answered as he accepted the incoming drink from Madame Rosmerta. "Thanks, love."
Rosmerta grinned at him with her thin but pretty face and giggled as she walked away.
"It's a running joke between us," Remus murmured with a chuckle.
Sirius gulped down a bit of his rum. "I've seen his apartment. Letters everywhere. He has a thing for the rejection ones though… They're pinned to the walls."
Remus frowned at Sirius. "It's not that funny."
"I never said it was, mate."
Lily giggled as Remus just rolled his eyes an attempted to change the subject. "So have you talked to James yet?"
The smile dropped quickly from Lily's face. What could she say without sounding stupid? What was there to say, really?
"No," she started slowly not daring to look either of them in the eyes. "I'm not about to try and break up Marlene and him, even if I could."
"Are you kidding? James would—"
But Sirius never got a chance to finish his sentence as someone had just come up from behind Lily to make him speechless.
"Sirius?"
Lily just turned around to see what he was staring at, while Remus just kept grinning because a plan was beginning to take shape in his mind.
She felt just as shocked as Sirius when she saw him.
She dismissed the horrible feeling of disappointment that had found its way into her stomach. She had been hoping it would was… Well she knew what she had been hoping but what made her think she would have been right? He was probably off with Marlene somewhere admiring the sunset or something cliché like that. And what had she been hoping he would do? Proclaim his 'undying' love for her and then kiss her deeply? Shower her with rose petals and then kiss her into oblivion? If that was the case, her hopes were way too high.
But Gilderoy Lockhart?
In the flesh?
This was hell all over again.
"Gilderoy?"
She paused as he smiled at her.
"Yes, it's me," was the stupid answer from his mouth.
Remus sat and watched interestedly. Even he did not know what would happen next. Sirius, on the other hand, got up to get another drink. As much as he wanted to tell off Gilderoy, her couldn't. Damn Remus probably even saw him walk in as he made him agree not to scare off anymore guys.
"What are you doing here?"
Damn Remus… He probably saw him at the bar or something when he had her promise she would tell off the next guy. HOW DID HE KNOW GILDEROY WOULD BE THE NEXT GUY?
She should have faced it years ago. Remus was always right, no matter what the situation or the circumstances.
"I came over here to see if you and your wonderful friends wanted to hear about my latest adventure. After all, I remember you did say how much you liked my other stories," he smiled his "Most Charming Award" smile as he sat down next to her. Sirius, however did not seem to be fazed as he came back and found Gilderoy in his chair.
"Find a chair other than mine, mate," he growled and sat down with his rum in the chair Lockhart quickly vacated.
Lily took this as an opportunity to get rid of him and quickly stood up, beckoning Sirius and Remus to do the same.
Sirius sighed and went back over to the bar to pour his drink down the drain and pay. Remus smiled encouragingly at Gilderoy and followed Sirius to the bar to pay for his share.
Great… Thanks for the moral support boys.
Can always count on you two, can't I?
"Listen Gilderoy," Lily coaxed, putting on her sweetest smile, "I would love to hear more of your amazing stories, but tonight I have to head home. I've got the early shift at the Ministry."
In all truthfulness, this was not a lie at all. Except, if Gilderoy had not shown up, she probably would have gone home drunk.
…And would have ended up singing Christmas carols off-key with Sirius all the way home.
He nodded. "I understand. Of course. We will have to meet another night so you can hear my marvelous story. Would it be okay if I owled you?"
Lily almost panicked for a moment. "How about if I owled you?"
"That would be fine," he said, smiling adoringly at her.
She felt disgusted then. She felt utterly disgusted with herself. How could she be so vile towards him even if he was the most boring, self-absorbed person to walk the planet?
"Alright, then… I'll see you around, Gilderoy," she said, turning to catch up with Remus and Sirius at the counter.
"Good bye, Lily," he replied as he watched her go fondly.
What a mess of things, she thought as the boys ushered her out the door, What a mess of things I make…Even with men I'm not interested in!
She sighed and went on feeling dejected as the two guys walking with her began hatching plans while keeping her moods under their watchful eyes.
A/N - Does anyone know how to get ffnet to let you indent? It's not letting me (as you can tell, I'm sure) and I'm so angry at them right now.