Marauders' Match-making Inc.
Hey… Surprise, surprise… Look who finally decided to get moving and write a chapter! Sorry this had taken so long. My computer thought it would pull a fun joke on me and on let me open any Word documents on my computer. Needless to say, I was angry (especially because I had a couple of projects to work on that were saved on the computer). Other than that I really have no excuse except lack of motivation, which after thinking about it, really is not an excuse. So once again, LOTS OF APOLOGIES. Well… anyway, enjoy this chapter. I'm estimating only about 1-2 chapters left… Even though my estimating skills are (to put it kindly) really bad.
To reader who wondered if Petunia ever found out what happened at her wedding-She remembers nothing about the after party and the line dancing. She was beyond drunk at that point, especially if she was line dancing.
Quick note: For more fun with the chapter, sing the below chapter title (it's in italics) to the tune of "Twleve Days of Christmas" subbing the title for the part that goes "three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree." Well…it made me laugh…so I left it there.
-Kait
Disclaimer: The plot of this story is loosely based on the ABC Family movie, "See Jane Date." The characters are property of J.K. Rowling. The only things that belong to me are the changes I made to the plot I borrowed and the new characters that you don't recognize from the Harry Potter books. Is that alright with you then?
Chapter Seventeen: Three Driven Friends, Two Love-Doves, and an Idiot Caught Up in His Smile
"Have the letters been sent?"
Sirius looked up from the Ministry file he was currently mesmerized by to answer Remus' question. "Mine has, but Peter… I have no idea what he did with his letter."
Remus sat down at the kitchen table at Sirius' flat and stared at his friend as he watched him apparate from one place in the living room to another.
Pop!
He was at the coffee table.
Pop!
He was next to Remus in the kitchen.
"I really hope you are not going to be a prat and split yourself in half in the process of doing that," Remus commented nonchalantly as he glanced down and read the headlines on evening edition of the Daily Prophet.
Sirius scowled and apparted next to an armchair in the living room and decided to sit down in it.
"It was for the ministry," he said plainly, as though he was talking to an old uncle who took the fun out of everything, "They're going to test us on how fast we can apparate."
"So when you fight a Death Eater, he won't be able to kill you before you can get out of there?" Remus asked, a tinge of a sarcastic tone in his voice as he kept reading.
"Yeah," Sirius grinned slightly and walked towards Remus, "You wouldn't want me to die, would you, Moony?"
"Eh," was the joking response. "Depends."
Peter looked puzzled as he walked through the small foyer and entered the room. In fact, now that Sirius thought about it, maybe Peter always had a permanent look of confusion on his face. Since he'd known him, at least.
"What depends?"
"Whether or not I die," Sirius responded. "Did you owl your letter?"
Peter still looked puzzled. Prat, Sirius thought.
"Yes. James's letter is on its way. Who did you take?"
Peter's confused look on his face was now replaced by an eager one. Sirius just rolled his eyes a bit; he was trying to be cool, even though he was every bit as excited about their plan as Peter was. As for Remus…Well, who ever knew what Remus was thinking?
"Gilderoy. Remus took the other one… he can fake James' handwriting better than I can, apparently," Sirius said and flung himself into the armchair again, landing a bit awkwardly. "Bloody hell that hurt…"
"I can," Remus stated, glancing up to see Sirius keel over on the floor in a little bit of pain. "How many times have I told you not to do that, Padfoot? Seven out of ten times, this is the result."
Peter looked amused as Sirius responded.
"Too many, mate. And after a bit the pain goes."
"Oh and I believe it. You just keep telling yourself that until the pain does go away," Remus replied, pretending to read on as he watched to make sure Sirius got up alright.
"Umm… I have a quick question before you two start fighting or something…," Peter chimed in, looking nervously at Sirius' feigned imitation of rage which disappeared just as quickly as it had come. "When are we leaving for the Leaky Cauldron?"
"In what…," Sirius glanced questioningly over at Remus to confirm the time, "20 minutes?"
"That sounds about right."
Sirius smiled a bit shrewdly at Peter and said, "Oy, Wormtail! Want to try jumping into the chair too?"
"If you do that Peter, your life is in your own hands… I refuse to take any blame for your injury," Remus murmured as Peter smartly declined.
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Lily Evans stood in front of her closet, looking through numerous outfits and coming up empty-handed. She could not believe she could not find anything to wear. She should be able to come up with something. After all, it wasn't like she had a date with James or something; she was just going out to drinks with Sirius, Remus, Peter and Marcia. She felt like she should feel comfortable around them but instead she felt her stomach twist into several tight knots.
Ever since she had been found out by the boys to have feelings for James, she felt slightly uneasy around them. They were James' best friends, so who knew what they were telling him behind closed doors. Lily groaned; this only made her want to avoid them more.
But a night out would be good, she told herself. I need something to forget this huge mess I created for myself.
At least she could feeling a bit better because of the fact that she was not on some kind of date with Gilderoy. A week ago she had seen him at the pub and he still was shooting her winks and hopeful glances whenever he happened to pass by her on the street. It was enough to make Lily feel very angry with herself for, well... for lack of a better phrase, leading him on.
As she looked in the mirror one last time to check her outfit, she had no idea what the Marauders were planning on the other side of the city.
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The trio arrived in a nick of time at the Leaky Cauldron as they encountered Marcia at the bar.
"So what's the entire plan?"
She sat from a bar stool, dangling her crossed feet playfully as look of curiousity on her facial features let them know she was expecting a truthful response.
Remus looked at Sirius questioningly as he sat down next to Marcia, "You didn't tell her the whole plan?"
"Well...," Sirius trailed off, looking for words. "I told her enough, but not so much that she might be intrigued to tell Lily."
"Why would I say anything?" Marlene said looking a bit peeved that she was not percived as trustworthy, "If Lily knew we were going to set her up, she'd be furious."
Peter looked horror-stuck as he noticed someone behind Marcia that had just caught the end of the conversation. The others turned to see what Peter was staring at and froze like they had just been caught stealing gold from Gringotts. It was Lily. She stood in shock; the situation not quite sinking in. Her face looked contorted, and showed the betrayal she felt. Gathering all the information she had just heard and witnessed, she turned to leave.
"Lily, wait," Sirius called, rushing over and taking her by the arm to keep her from leaving. "We're only trying to help."
"I don't really care what you are trying to do. I don't want to be set up," she said, her tone carrying a faint bit of anger. Lily tried to wring her wrist from Sirius' grasp as Remus came over to help explain.
"Lily, it's not really what you think. If you give us a chance, we will explain."
She laughed sarcastically as she responded, "Oh, so I'm not being set up on a date? What am I doing then? Being auctioned off? Will Sirius be the auctioner and the highest bidder gets a free bag of Zonko products if they win me?"
"Hey, if it's an auction you want, I bet every wizard in this bar would bid on you," Sirius joked, boldly putting an arm around Lily and looking in the corner at one of the creatures drinking at the bar, "But no bidding for you, Samuel, you're part goblin."
"Uh, guys," Marcia interjected from her bar stool, "I hate to interrupt but Lily's 'date' is about to walk in."
Lily's breath was caught in her chest as she spotted him. His defined and attractive face came into view as he spotted her and smiled, while pushing open the door to the pub.
...Gilderoy Lockhart?
"You set me up with him?" Lily muttered through her teeth. "Sirius, you witnessed our last date first hand. It was not something I wanted to repeat."
Sirius said nothing and dropped his hand from Lily's shoulder as Gilderoy approached them.
"I have to say, Lily," Gilderoy started, brushing his hair out of his eyes to let his face and dazzling smile be seen better, "I was pleasantly surprised to recieve your owl yesterday. Well, not so much surprised as expecting it, but nonetheless, I hope you recieved my owl back."
She stood in shock for a second before Sirius poked her in the ribs, awaking her senses once again. "Oh, yes, Gilderoy. I did. It was... eloquent."
"I'm glad to hear that," he replied easily with a smile.
"Well, I, uh...have to talk to Sirius for a second," she stated and forced herself to smile back at him, "Ministry business. It will just take a second."
He nodded and pointed to the right, "I will go find a suitable table."
Gilderoy barely noticed as Lily grabbed Sirius forcefully and led him back to the Marcia and Peter at the bar, with Remus trailing. Before saying another word, she glanced over at Gilderoy and shuddered.
"What were you all thinking?"
"That the stupid prat showed up earlier than he was supposed to," Sirius grumbled, rubbing the spot on his arm where Lily had gotten hold of him.
Lily looked puzzled. "What on earth does that mean?"
"Well," Remus began, guiltily, "Sirius sent a letter to Gilderoy saying that you wanted to meet him here tonight. We never said it was a date, he just percieved that part wrong."
"What did you expect...," Sirius mumbled as Marcia stiffled a laugh.
"Then I sent a letter to Marlene--"
Lily questioned him, "Why would you do that?" She crossed her arms on her chest in confusion as it went unnoticed that Peter had just leaned on the bar counter and knocked over his drink.
"Because," Remus said, explaining as much as he could while obviously keeping an eye out for someone else he expected to enter the pub, "She is a fan of Gilderoy's and I know she would want to meet him."
"Really...," Lily murmered.
"She told me at an Order Meeting a couple months ago. She was reading a magazine article about him, so it came up."
Sirius smirked. "Or else Remus was reading the article too."
Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius went on taunting him. Peter at this time was getting help from Marcia, cleaning up the spilt drink, but managed a chuckle.
"You need to find yourself a girl, Padfoot. You're starting to get on my nerves more than usual," Remus said and took a sip of the drink Tom had just passed over to him.
Before Sirius even had a chance to respond to the comment, Lily chimed in. "So you want me to introduce her to Gilderoy?"
Sirius, suddenly seeming bored with the current conversation walked away sulking. Lily watched as his drink splashed over the brim every now and then since he was carrying it with no interest in how it spilled whatsoever.
"Yes."
"But why?"
Remus laughed and the corners of his mouth turned up into a smile. "I don't know about you, but I might want to save my date from Sirius, if you know what I mean."
Lily spun around in horror only to find that Sirius sitting at a table, talking to Gilderoy with a smirk on his face.
Sirius, you prat. It's bad enough I have to deal with him... Now you want to put even more rubbish thoughts in his head?
"For the record, Remus, this conversation is not over," she called as she stormed off to get Sirius away from her 'date'.
She managed to reach him just as he was explaining everything to Gilderoy.
"...Lils brought you here to meet a fan. Marlene, that's her name. So, is it alright if she intrudes for a bit while you two are on your date?"
Gilderoy smiled and tried to hide his happiness. "Well, if it is for a fan... Then, yes, I would be more than happy to talk to her for a bit."
"Of course you would," Sirius said, smiling his most charming smile. "And by the way, Gilderoy, when she comes in, go up to her and say, 'Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir.' She'll love it."
"Sirius! What in bloody hell are you thinking? Gilderoy, don't you dare!"
Sirius smirked at her as Lily sat down, looking quite scanalized.
"Right, Gilderoy. Lily's right," Sirius laughed, while nodding his head. "That's a little to close to the truth for you. You have to make it sleazier and still be able to show that 'charming' smile of yours."
"My smile is quite charming, isn't it?"
Gilderoy smiled as bright as he could while Lily tried to cover her laugh with a cough. This left Sirius to respond in his usual sarcastic manner.
"It is the most charming smile I've ever seen."
"I thought so," Gilderoy stated, clearly very pleased with himself.
Lily glanced out the window as Gilderoy smiled some more. The streets of muggle London were so desolate around the Leaky Cauldron this time of night. A random streetlight caught her eye as it flickered warily on and off, as if it could not decide which way it liked better. The pub felt remarkably cozy and warm compared to the deserted streets outside. Being in the Leaky Cauldron with her friends, despite the fact that they were sitting on the other side of the pub with knowing smiles on their faces, made her feel a little bit more like she was getting back to normal. Forgetting how she felt about James...
"Hello...," a voice from behind her called, interrupting her somewhat tranquil thoughts, "Have either of you seen James?"
Marlene. Just who Lily was in the mood to see.
Not.
"Uh, no, actually," Sirius replied saving Lily the breath, "But would you care to sit down with us while you wait?"
Marlene giggled and donned a sparkling smile as she spotted Gilderoy who clearly had just spotted her, considering the smile he was sporting on his own face. "Sure, that'd be nice."
Lily sat, disgusted. She had to introduce this girl to her date?
And who giggles anyway?
Sirius poked Lily on the back and once he had her attention, nodded towards Gilderoy.
"Oh," Lily said quickly. "Marlene this is Gilderoy; Gilderoy, Marlene."
Marlene smiled shyly at Gilderoy and started, "It's a pleasure to meet you. I am a big fan of yours."
Gilderoy suddenly looked even more interested in her as he leaned a little bit over the table to talk to her. "Books or looks?"
"Both, actually."
She blushed so rosy that he let out a quiet chuckle and they exchanged another set of smiles.
"Gilderoy, Marlene, would you excuse Lily and I for a moment?" Sirius interjected with ease and grinned at the pair.
That was easy enough, he thought. Remus is a darned genius.
"Of course," Marlene replied and with a flutter of her hand dreamily waved them off.
And at that, Sirius grabbed an amazed Lily by the hand and led her back over to their group at the bar. Lily could barely walk, she was in such a state of shock. What had just happened?
"Well that took no time at all," Remus said, content with what he had just witnessed.
Lily still felt bewildered by everything. She pointed at the two, that were clearly enamored with one another. "Did... did you want that to happen?" She asked, feeling almost dizzy.
The look of bewilderment on her face made Remus laugh. "Did you not want that to happen?"
"Oh no, I'm pleased," she clarified, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "I just did not expect something like that to happen."
Sirius spoke up in the typical joking manner of his as she scratched her head in confusion, "She was just surprised at how fast he moved on."
Marcia hopped down from her stool to hug Lily with feigned sympathy. "I'm sorry, but did you not realize how vain he is from the first date? Because I would hope you do not need your memory refreshed."
"No, I don't need that," she said with a smile and shook her head. "What I need is a drink. Tom, what have you got?"
As she ordered her drink and sat on a bar stool next to Sirius and Marcia, she thought of the effects of Marlene and Gilderoy hitting it off. What did this mean for her and Gilderoy? Would he stop trying to date her? She sure hoped so. And what about Marlene? Did she have anyone else in her life? She had James...
"What are we thinking?" Lily questioned her companion, her mind finally putting two and two together. "We can't let Marlene go out with Gilderoy. What about James?"
Remus set his drink down, glancing at Lily's frantic face and putting on a reassuring smile, "Don't worry. We have it under control."
"And besides," Sirius added, "This would be only their third date. They are not 'going out' so she can enjoy spending time with someone else."
"As can he," Peter chimed in.
"Why would you want him to be with Marlene anyway?" Sirius asked. Then raised his eyebrows ever so slightly as he tried to be sutble. "Wouldn't you rather him be single?"
Lily thought about it and looked at Sirius sincerely. "I just want him to be happy."
A little ways from her, Peter snorted. "Well that's kind of you."
"Yeah," Sirius chimed in, "Considering the only way James is ever going to be happy is if he is with you."
Lily appeared shocked as she moved her glance away from the pair who were now making these sickening googly eyes at one another.
With me?
James wants to be with me? Still?
What in bloody hell have they been waiting for? Why not tell me this days ago... before I made myself crazy? What were they stalling for... the point where I would consume so much ice cream that I would no longer be able to move and therefore have to fall in love and live with that person in order to talk to someone and not go insane?
Well... WERE THEY?
(Or perhaps she already had, from the way Sirius was looking at her like she should be "psyhic-witch" and know when people were in love with her.)
If so, bad idea, because people who are in love are not patient people.
At least, Lily was not patient. But maybe that had nothing to do with love...
"So what exacting were you all thinking in not telling me about this sooner? Did you think he would just stumble across me at some point and ask me out?" She let out a little huff and continued, though her brain was working at a rapid speed (Did James really feel that way? What would he say to me... especially after the way I blew up at him...), "If you haven't noticed, I haven't talked to James in...wow...ages. You know what... I need some air. I'm going to girl's room. I will be back."
"Coming," Marcia stated as she got up to help Lily get there. Suddenly her legs were not working so well.
"So," Peter asked as Remus glanced carefully at his watch, "The plan is going well so far?"
"Well, first we have to get rid of...," Remus trailed off as Sirius poked him in the rib and motioned towards Marlene and Gilderoy, who were now making their way over to the bar.
"Why hello there," Sirius greeted them cheerfully, "What can we do for you?"
Gilderoy had the widest smile the boys had ever seen plastered on his face. Marlene just looked slightly flustered and embarassed as she opened her mouth to speak.
"Umm," she started, staring guiltily at Sirius and Remus while they noticed Gilderoy's hand on the small of her back, "Could you tell James I had to cancel our date tonight? Suddenly I'm not feeling all that well."
Sirius smiled mischeviously and looked over the pair. "Would you like one of us to help you home?"
Gilderoy's smile dropped as Sirius' widened and he managed to say, "I can get her home just fine."
Peter let out a snicker as Remus replied sweetly to the two of them, "Oh, we don't doubt you Gilderoy. And yes, Marlene, I will inform him when he gets here."
"Thank you," she responded, looking very gracious towards him. And with that, she and her companion turned swiftly to go.
"Well, they wasted no time," Sirius said with a grin.
"And you are shameless, Padfoot, when it comes to women," he stated bluntly as he watched the two grab their things and leave the pub. They quickly left towards Diagon Alley and were all smiles as they departed.
"So are they," he countered with a chuckle. "James just got stood up for a date with Gilderoy Lockhart!"
"I won't tell if you won't."
"I have two or three words for you, front page news, mate. I'm in neogoiations with The Daily Prophet as we speak."
"Witness?" Remus asked with a smile.
Sirius winked at the bartender and grinned, "Tom, here, is the main witness. I plan to have this all ready to go in less than twenty minutes."
"Well, then we had better go get started," Remus responded and once again glanced at his watch, "James is due here any minute."
"We don't get to stay and watch?" Sirius groaned and it was quite obvious he had had a different scenario in mind, "What about Lily?"
Peter started for the door, quickly buttoning up his cloak. "'Fraid not, Sirius."
"And besides," Remus added, "Marlene knows what to do from here. We'll go watch somewhere else now."
"Where?" Sirius asked as he notice Peter in his cloak and Remus buttoning his up at the moment. "Outside? So we can freeze? No way in bloody hell! Wormtail, back me up on this!"
"Come'on Sirius," Peter called, halfway to the door by this time.
"Or else we'll send you over to the nice Weasley's home," Remus said with a wicked smile appearing on his features, "It's warm there, right?"
Sirius heaved on his jacket with a quick sigh. "Don't bother. I'm coming Moony."
At that, Remus smiled. The night was still young. And when there's time enough in the evening, something wonderful and unexpected (though completely planned out) was bound to happen to Lily…
Author's Note: I split this chapter in half because I thought the second half of the chapter deserved a whole chapter to itself. So stay tuned…