Love

Chapter 3 [Fragility}

Last Time:

"I want her- I want her alone," Draco said, brushing past Ron and into the room where Hermione lay, shivering and bleeding on the couch. Ron and Ginny glanced at each other worriedly. Was it a good idea for them to be alone together?

And what was wrong with their Hermione?

TBC

________________________________________________________________________

He stared at her from the doorway. Hermione- his Hermione- reduced to this… this pale, deathly wreck. Her eyes were closed as she reclined on the couch, a small, white cast-off of humanity in the middle of a sea of blue couch and orange Chudley Cannons cushions. Ginny had placed a navy blue bed sheet under her so she wouldn't get any blood on the couch or cushions, and it was wrapped around her tiny, shaking form. Even though the sheet was dark, Draco could see the stains of blood on it- not ordinary stains, but the same, slightly blurred and twisted patterns that Robert had cut into her satiny skin not so long ago.

Why hadn't she told him?

Had she thought he'd care? He wouldn't have… he still didn't. He knelt by the couch, laying a hand on hers as he flipped her arm to see more scars, except these were the ones she herself had made. He traced the crude slash with a finger, amazed by the difference it what she had wrought and what Robert had.

The Rilami carvings were hideously beautiful, with their curves and arches, yet there was something so terribly deceitful about them- that hard, vengeful, pain-filled slash across her wrist looked angelically honest. He looked up to find her awake, watching him through those deer-in-the-headlights chocolate brown eyes that he adored.

"I thought I told you never to touch me again," She said softly, and through her eyes and tone Draco understood that there was no malice, no conviction, left in those words that had once crushed his world.

"Men never listen," He joked half-heartedly.

"You always listened."

"Why didn't you tell me about the scars?"

"Because I'm spoiled, aren't I? Don't tell me that silly little scars don't bother you… even if they don't… I'm spoiled Draco. Not my skin, not my body, no matter how sick I may be… my soul rots from these marks."

"They aren't magical… nothing could rot your soul, your spirit, Hermione..."

"These? These scars aren't the ones I was talking about… these scarred my soul, but they could never do to me what the scars that Yamin left are doing. This is his handiwork… his and mine combined. I was stupid. I'll die for that stupidity."

"You won't die! How can he do this to you… and you can't be stupid… Hermione Granger could never be stupid."

"Hermione Granger… oh, she could be more stupid than any. You don't know what I've done Draco, I've allowed evil to touch me, and I'll die because of it."

"You won't! No matter what touches you, nothing can conquer you…"

"This will. There's so much you don't know. If I die- I shall die. If I choose to live- the world will pay for my mistakes."

"What are you saying? You can choose to live? Just tell me- tell me how you can live…"

"I can live if I go to him. When I woke under the snow, I found this." Hermione held out an envelope. It was a soft butter color and Draco ripped it open, tearing out a similarly coloured sheet. Thick, bold black writing seemed to jump out at him.

Come and be spared your destiny. Come and be powerful.

-Yamin

Draco looked at Hermione questioningly.

"Hermione… this is just some stupid letter that the jerk sent you… all you have to do is write back and tell him to flip off because you don't want to be 'spared from your destiny', or whatever. " There was a long silence as Hermione (AN: also the author…) contemplated what to say.

"But I do. I don't want what life will give me. But that doesn't mean I'll accept what he offers."

"Maybe I'm your destiny!"

"No you aren't, Draco. I wish you were. My destiny is to die for my mistakes."

"What mistakes? What are you talking about? And how do you know all about destiny anyway?" Draco spluttered, angry that she couldn't just tell him that she would be fine tomorrow and everything would be good again.

"The choice I made at Abhinatha was the wrong one. That is my mistake and I…"

"Everybody makes mistakes! Jesus Christ Hermione! It doesn't mean that you…"

"Yes it does! Yes it does you… you fool! Don't you see? Why can't you just… get it?! It is already done! There's nothing we can do to help it!"

"Don't call me a fool when I'm not! I just care for the love of Merlin! And yes, there is something to help! You just said so yourself! You're going to Yamin!" He was already desperately trying to lift her off the couch, but she squirmed away from him.

"What are you going to do! Drop me off on his freaking doorstep?! I'm not some reject kitten!"

"The bloody hell you're not! If you were some reject kitten I'd drown you, not try and save your life! God! Flamel! Dumbledore! Help me!"

Hermione was holding back a scream of frustration. She was still doggedly, although somewhat weakly, trying to evade his arms, and she was getting out of breath from the arguing, which was rather loud and energetic at this point. And then suddenly she had an idea. The one way to get Draco to leave her alone…

"Draco you're hurting me!" She yelled pitifully over Draco, who was still invoking various Gods and Wizards. The invokings stopped immediately and Draco stared down at the tiny girl who was haphazardly sprawled across the couch and himself. Her upper body was clutched to his side so that her arms could not hit or scratch him more than she already had but her legs were still flailing. He remembered with a start that he was handling an invalid, the invalid he loved, no less, quite roughly.

"I am?" He asked concernedly and repentingly, gazing down at her.

"Yes…" Hermione cringed quietly, secretly trying to hold back triumphant laughter. She was doing a very good acting job. Draco looked like he was about ready to go on a search for a cat'o'nine tails and flog himself as he lay her gently down on the couch, so she quickly smiled weakly and added, "Not that much, just tiring me, and I'm so ill…" His face reverted to only slightly stricken and became a little less remorseful.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"I know. We never mean to hurt each other." Draco didn't know whether she meant them in particular or humanity in general, so he let it slip.

"Anyway. Ah, sorry and well, I guess we'll be off to Yamin's then." He shrugged helplessly, as though saying 'I'll try and be more careful this time.' Hermione rolled her

eyes.

"If I go to Abhinatha, Merlin knows what will happen! Understand! Understand!" She yelled furiously, as if saying the word would magically make everything clear to him.

"I can't 'understand understand!' until you goddamn explain to me! What do you think I am, some kind of telepathic freaking gypsy?"

Anger was firmly gripping them both and they stared each other down for a moment, grey and chocolate eyes alike blazing with fire. Finally Hermione looked away and made a gurgling noise of exasperation in her throat.

"Gah! I- greh! You just- Uff! Why- Rrr! And- GICK!"

"Ok, let's both calm down. You can stop being frustrated and start using full sentences now."

Hermione nodded.

"Let's start at the beginning, ok? AGH! I hate this and- right. So, I got captured and was taken to Abhinatha. And then Yamin quasi-brainwashed me and screwed around with my mind. You still with me?"

"Yes."

"Good." Hermione pummeled the Chudley Cannons slogan on a pillow for a few seconds while Draco waited near-patiently until she began again. "So he quasi-brainwashed me to think that Dumbledore and the Ministry and the Light Side were all in the wrong and the He and the Darks were really the ones suffering injustice. And that you were evil. And didn't love me. And that you were a big, lying prat. Which you are."

"I am not! I've never lied to you!"

"You just did."

"Echfigmoof?" Draco sputtered.

"You had a non-platonic relationship with Pansy Parkinson, and when I asked about her, you told me a direct and distinct lie."

"When did I ever have a relationship with Pa- oh yeah! That. I didn't lie to you, I just forgot. It was only a nine-day relationship in second year, Hermione. And it was only because Goyle told us that it was dorky to be friends with people of the opposite sex and we were young and gullible. At 12, who wants to be dorky? So we decided to have a "relationship", and be cool. But it was boring and we liked being friends better, so decided to risk dorkdom." He was smiling. Hermione was tempted to as well. It was sort of cute. They didn't want to be dorks so they started dating. She laughed.

"That's stupid. You didn't seem the type to care about what others thought about you when you were 12, you know, and neither was Pansy."

"Well we certainly didn't care what Gryffindors thought about us, but we cared about what the other Slytherins, our parents and the Death Eaters thought. Women are only supposed to be used for relationships in the society we grew up in. Not friendship."

"But your father treats Narcissa equally."

"Yeah well… Dad's different. The whole Death Eater thing was a stupid mistake for them, they regret it. They weren't like the rest- fanatical and bloodthirsty. They were just naïve and dumb. Only in their 20's."

"So why do you act like they were fanatical and bloodthirsty? Why can't you forgive them?"

Draco scowled.

"Because you don't know a lot of things Hermione. It's none of your business."

"Of course it is, we…"

"We're nothing, according to you. Remember that? Or have you decided to take me back and forgive me?"

"I think we both know that that isn't the question."

"Then what is the question?"

"It's have you decided to take me back and forgive me for being gullible and not trusting you?"

"Why did you accompany that question with puppy eyes?" Hermione remained silent and Draco sighed. "Yeah, I forgive you. I guess. Damn. I'm whipped. I should've at least made you squirm and suffer a little bit."

"Don't worry, I've squirmed and suffered enough since we broke up."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"That, in a strange way, delights me."

There was a long silence.

"It feels like we should do something to finalize it."

"Yeah." Draco shook Hermione's hand.

"Oh, that's romantic."

"You're an invalid."

"Invalids have lips." Draco smiled.

"So they do."

TBC (slightly short but nice place to end it and am starting next chapter straight away. Well, after I find some chocolate, that is.)(sorry it's unbeta'd but Kitten is missing. Hope you don't mind)

________________________________________________________________________

AN: Ok. I am a dreadful, dreadful, dreadful, horribly disgusting and obnoxiously revolting person. I am abhorrent in every way possible and known to man, and I am morally, emotionally, and intelligently intolerable by any being with an IQ above mine, meaning 5 or more, or animals, especially vicious dogs who eat people and garbage and live in filthy alleyways. They don't like me either. I am loathed and despised by every organism on this earth, including that leaf over there, and by a few inanimate objects as well. I don't deserve to live for my heinous and vile ways. I deserve to die an excruciatingly painful death by torture (note: NOT chocolate) and burn in hell eternally. I sincerely hope this untimely fate befalls me and I am graced with the Mercy of God and various Angels and allowed only to be kept on the burning coals for 12 hours, though I know in my heart that I deserve more. This makes me more distasteful and despicable.

In short, I am sorry that I didn't update faster. I've been on vacation and away from a computer, but in some inexplicable way it is surely my fault. Please don't forgive me, I don't deserve it. Please abuse me in the most impossibly degrading and demoralizing ways. I am pure evil. Voldemort is my pet hamster.

That feels much better.

Quote of the chapter:

"Money talks, but it don't sing and dance and it don't walk"

Can anybody tell me what song that quote came from, and who sang it? Email your answers to me, and if you're the first person to get it right, I'll give you a cameo in any one of my stories, up to you. Aren't I cute?

Heh heh. I do amuse myself. I don't know about others…but I'm bored. Very bored. It's a heat wave. Trapped in house. Boredom.

Anyway, thanks to reviewers:

Icy Stormz- I hate the evil technology. Remember when that happened to the suicide chapter? Goddamn. My computer groveled for it's life that night. It's very happy that I didn't throw it out the window. Thanks, my vacay is one of the best I've ever had, lots of fun! But yay, it's still going on! Wee! That's why I'm not sure when the next chapter will be out… I'm trying really hard.

WhyMMM- My God, with ff.net down, I was starting to forget what the 'review' high' felt like. Oh the glorious rush! When I first started Pain is Bitter, I would publish every day or every second day. Then exams started and it bumped up to once or twice a week, and now since I'm on vacation it's sort of bi-monthly at best. I'm hoping I'll get back to the original fast stuff, but it's looking bleak, I'm starting boarding school in September, and there'll be loads of extracurricular activities and study to do, especially since I'm on a scholarship and need to make a good impression… I hope I get "Love" done this summer, but I'll have to write like crazy. Wish me luck!

Rosebud- What a charming expression! Smashing! I must adopt it!

dragonAce- *sniffle* I'm going as fast as I can when on vacation!

Smiley13- *nods head reverently* God Bless Japan. But also Canada. And America. And Ireland. And Mesopotamia. And. Czechoslovakia. And Croatia. And all the other places in the world :D

fOxyness39- Poor Dray-baba.

dracolover- was it cliff-hangerish of me? It didn't seem very cliff-hangerish when I wrote it.

Serpent de feu- what does that mean? *runs around in circles to burn off nervous energy* ARGH! Why is my French so bad?! Wait, Serpent of Leaves? Or would that be Serpent de Feuilles? *jumps up and down* Tell me tell me!

MiaMaria- That wasn't a cliffie! Was it?

Kely- *whimper* I'm TRYING, ok?!

Sucker for Romance- It is good isn't it? Good and ready to be thrown in the dumpster.

Rina- Scroll up and read down. :D

FireBelle- Heh heh, I like the way your mind works. Thanks, I already burnt my legs, which in my family is good, because it means a tan will surface tomorrow or the next day. *giggle* Yay! Tan!*goes off into little world of being tanned…*

allee kat- You are so very welcome, it is so great that you guys actually still read! I was like, 'eek! Am so loved!'.

Shadia- *calls to members of the "Pain, Bitterness and Love" Army* The new recruit is too enthusiastic. Beat it out of her. Mwahahaha! Sorry, just joking. Thank you ever so much, but don't get your expectations up, I'm not a very good writer. I still want to lavish attention on you until you get too disgusted with the fic though! Look everybody! It's

Shadia, my newest hypnotisee! She hasn't snapped out of it yet! She still believes I can actually string a functional sentence together!

Moon-Walker- when do I get to come over and drool at Neo?

Lola- Stop making me feel bad. For the love of God, don't praise me when I feel guilty. You people know how badly that always turns out.

Shadia- I love Cissa too. Stop with your praise now, little one.

Lady-Saint Veronica- a total laugh is Kent-speak for fun, sorry for confusion/grief it caused. It was cruel and horrible of me and I suck and am mean. Ah, that feels better.

Antation- Eheh…?! *hides*

Shadia- good writer… riiiiiiight. I think I'll go eat chocolate now.

Ginn- stop your loving of my story at once. It isn't healthy. The compliment is making me turn very red and I'm beginning to choke.

PoPs- stop it you insolent thing! Did I or did I not tell you all to stop complimenting me?! I am ridden with horrible guilt!

Terra Rose- lovely *pant* name *pant*. Just- I don't think I can take any more praise. Please, have mercy…

Alohomora- do you not comprehend the meaning of mercy? No? Stop. The. Killing. Of. Semi-Innocent. Author. With. Deadly. Praise. That. Exacerbates. Guilt.

TsAmZ- me… legend? *head explodes Femmebot-style (the Spy who shagged me)*

Tabitha- *sparks fly off lifeless body*

Moi- *body is engulfed in flames* Heard over crackling of fire: Thanks a whole freakin lot! I wanted to die in my sleep!