Thanks again to my reviewers:
KitsuneAkai13- Oh, shipping and handling…? Hmmm, I never thought about that. Well, I think whoever pays for my AOL service can take care of that. I am really glad you think that Jake is so cool, mostly because he is partly based on me. So that means I am cool, oh yeah! !!! Oh, and he will wish for something after he finds the Dragonballs…that will take time. Thanks for the review.
animeprincess1452- I am going to be looking for the Dragonballs?! Well, I wasn't so sure that people knew I was crazy like that, thanks for letting me in on that. Don't listen to the voice…he tells you to do weird stuff…
GOTEN2003UK- ROTFL! Well, I am glad you are liking the story so much, it's just that I am afraid if you really did glue yourself to your seat… Oo !!!
Curiously…I seem to be losing reviewers… First I had five reviewers, then four, now only three for the last two chapters. Strange?
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Chapter 2: November 17, 2001– Dragonballs
My eyes drowsily opened, and I looked around with blurry vision, wiping some sleep-sand out of my eyes. Then I saw something that was a very bad sign on a school day: sunlight. At first I didn't even register the sensory information afforded by that realization and instead snuggled deeper into my bed and wrapped my arms tighter around my extra pillow. Falling helplessly into microsleep, I dozed for a few minutes and then awoke again a few minutes later, still feeling some aches from yesterday. But then my eyes snapped open and I burst into full wakefulness, finally glancing at the clock.
"Shit!" I cried, reading the display, and realizing that I had thirty minutes to get my lazy ass to school, and my mother just happened to be at work.
"God being in high school is such a pain," I said quietly whilst falling over trying to put on my pants and shoes at the same time. I finished and was out of the door less than two minutes after waking up.
I raced out the door almost forgetting my stupid backpack; not that there's anything in the damn thing but paper and a couple of books.My mother always said that I was a hopeless slacker but I didn't really pay that much attention. After all I was in all top level classes and constantly making my peers - no that's the wrong word...classmates - look like fools and my teachers sometimes as well. But my mother was still a bit crazy in my opinion. I brought out my bike and took off, taking a few milliseconds to strap on my helmet. Not that I could possibly get hurt, I might as well be indestructible, but there was no point in getting arrested for it.
God, oh God why do I always have to be late to school, and for Satan's sake my favorite class is first period, I'll be glad next year when I'm a Senior and I don't have any classes that I have to care about, I thought.
"Mother," I called out to the street rushing past as I pedaled down to school like a madman. "Why can't you just tell me what to do?"
I have no interests really and even though I have the IQ of a genius – err, Super Genius – I don't like to actually do anything, fighting maybe, and eating, but nothing academic.
'You could be a doctor!' my mother had once said. 'Yeah,' I had responded, 'and if my patients didn't heal right I could just tear them to pieces! I'd make a wonderful doctor, just don't piss me off or else I will put you out of your misery stat!'
"Well," I said, "at least I don't have to worry about - what the - ?!"
CRASH!
. . .
The dust settled and I looked around me; I wasn't surprised that the crash left me unhurt, but the bike was in less than good shape. The handlebars were bent and one pedal was...curiously missing. Along with that, there was some grass in the chain and plenty of dirt on the whole thing to complete the look.
"Remind me to tell my mother that having a black cat cross your path really is bad luck, especially if you're on a bike and you swerve into some bushes to avoid it," I said while picking myself off the dirt by the sidewalk.
Actually, I was trying a new anger-management technique, laughing at what life throws at you instead of getting angry. It wasn't working.
"My bike better not be broken...," I stopped, anger cracking through the surface of my artificial calm.
"SHIT!!!" I screamed, sitting up in the clump of foliage, and swinging my fist into a nearby metal telephone box.
There was a metallic crunch and the box folded around my arm nanoseconds before the top half sheared away and clattered to the pavement. I glanced in mock-wonder at the blood dripping out of a small cut on my arm before licking it off, savoring the light iron taste.
Well at least the anger doesn't last long, I thought. It just persists until I end up breaking something.
A police car drove by silently, the officer thankfully not noticing the half shredded telephone box lying on the street. I raised my head out of the bushes and started to push myself up. I looked at my watch - 7:02, this was getting ridiculous. But as I set my hand on the ground for leverage, it slipped and I fell back, my head banging on something surprisingly hard.
"Damn, now what the hell was that?" I asked, rubbing the back of my head.
I sat up and reached back to where my head had fallen, rooting around in the plants for who knew what. After a few seconds I decided that it had just been hard dirt, but something pressed me to keep looking and I suddenly touched something. My fingers curled around it and I lifted it up, revealing an orange colored, glass sphere a little larger than a tennis ball. As I turned it over I noticed three red stars hanging in the center.
"What the...?"
'THAT is a Dragonball' the voice suddenly said.
"Uhh...," I started, a bit flustered that the implement with which I was going to save the universe was this little piece of shit that I could probably make in a glass blowing shop. "This...can't be a Dragonball...," I said "Is it?"
'Yes'
Well I wasn't going to take that crap anymore, so I raised my hand and threw the ball to the asphalt as hard as I could at a speed which would probably shatter anything made by man. There was a crunch and I raised an arm to protect my face from flying glass shards...which never came.
"How did it...?" I said; eyes widening as I picked up the ball out of the miniature crater it made in the blacktop and examined it.
It wasn't even scratched.
"That's impossible!" I cried.
There was just no way a piece of glass wouldn't have broken from something like that, things just weren't that way. I decided to find out what it was later and I stuck it into my backpack, speeding off for school before I was too late.
. . .
After school, I found myself doing nothing important, so I decided to take a slight detour to the science wing. My Chemistry teacher from last year was pretty smart, he would be able to tell me what strange element this was made from.
"Well, I'm sorry, Jake, but I can only say it's some kind of glass that has been made by a process that makes it extra strong," the short man said, turning it over in his hands and shutting off the burner he had been trying in vain to melt it with, "but no glass is impervious to damage."
I looked out the open door and saw the janitor walking past. Hmm, inspiration strikes, I thought.
"Hey Gus!" I yelled to him, tossing the Dragonball to his feet, "Break that, I dare you to try! It can't be broken!"
Always up to any challenge he whipped out his trusty sledge hammer from the nearby cart and crashed it on top of the ball like a mad samurai with a katana. This time there was not a crunch, but a miniature explosion that broke the head of the sledge hammer into dust and small pieces. The janitor looked like he had died and gone to Hell for not being able to break the thing and as for the teacher, he looked like a college professor that has just found out that the entire concept of science is a load of shit.
"Thanks guys," I said heading out the door with the ball, "see you later."
The dazed Chemistry teacher finally regained his resolve and approached me. "Uhh...Jake I would appreciate if you could give me that...thing, until tomorrow so I can do some more tests, and I'll tell you what it is in the morning," he said pensively.
With little thought I placed the ball in his hands and walked toward the bike rack. "'I'm sorry Jake; I don't know what it is.'" I said sarcastically under my breath, "'Prolly sum peece of shit from abowt tain millyun yeers agou.'"
'Actually you are probably right.'
"Oh, shut the hell up," I said, grinning.
There was only one bike left, and it was probably the oldest one on the planet. I sighed and unlocked it, heading home thinking: not that there is anyone who would steal it anyway.
. . .
When I arrived back at school the following morning, I was genuinely expecting that teacher to tell me he wasn't able to come up with anything. Instead I got that response followed with news that my Dragonball was no longer in his possession.
"What do you mean you sent it to some scientific research facility in Boston?!" I screamed at him, hopelessly frightening the freshmen in his first period Chemistry class.
They seemed to be looking at me nervously as if to say I might pull out a rocket launcher and start blasting everyone, starting with their teacher.
"Well," he said nervously, "I couldn't figure out what it was so I figured they could. It should be sent back within another week."
I told him he didn't need to concern himself with it, while telling him under my breath that he could cram that Dragonball right up his ass when it came back. I didn't care anymore, I had lost it now and the voice wasn't helping matters by staying silent for once.
"Sorry I worried you, Jake," he said, but I was gone already.
. . .
"And so we trace the history of women's rights, economic patterns, and foreign policies in the United States with these papers," drawled my History teacher.
I was going to die of boredom...this was just horrible. First my bike's brakes fail on the way to school, then my dammed Chemistry teacher sends my ball away, now I have to suffer through more of this pointless shit.
So, I thought, hoping the voice could hear what I was saying in my head, what now? I don't suppose you are gonna have me steal a plane ticket to Boston...are you?
The voice stayed silent and the class dragged forth for a time until, presently, it spoke: 'You know, you are a dammed fool,' it said.
What? I didn't do anything - I tried to counter but was again cut off.
'Don't you know outgoing mail isn't sent out until afternoon?' it interjected, turning on the light bulb above my head instantly.
Of course!I raised my hand and waited for the teacher to finish his speech while formulating a plan for infiltrating the mail room in the office.
"Yes," he said, noticing me, "what is it Jake?"
"Umm," I said. "Can I go to the bathroom?"
He looked at me with a tone of anger before going on: "Yes, Jake, you have the capability to use the facilities at any time. However, my permission and not your capabilities should be the subject of your question."
"Sir, may I use the facilities," I said, hiding the sarcasm in my voice as I reworded my question to better fit his insane demands.
"Yes you may, Jake," he responded like a robot, "don't let me catch you using slang again."
I walked out the door as fast as I could and then trudged silently toward the front office, hiding briefly behind a post from a passing security guard when I suddenly realized that I had forgotten my hall pass.
"Hey you!" I heard a deep voice say. "Where do you think you are going without a hall pass?!"
"I can explain," I started, turning around in fear.
"I was just - DAVID YOU ASS!!" I finished as I recognized my friend.
"Ditching class again, Jake?" he asked.
"No I'm going to the office to get something!" I said in a teasing voice "Where are you going without a pass?"
"Oh, nowhere, Jake?" he said, suddenly looking confused as I vanished. His confused look persisted, all the way to detention, as the security guard dragged him away. I stepped out of the bushes as soon as they were gone, and quickly slid into the office doors.
Man, I thought, this is like a secret service mission!
"Hi, how may I help you?" asked the secretary lady as I walked in.
"Well," I said, faking a teacher's pet attitude while pulling out some folded papers from my pocket, "I need this stuff copied; can you do it for me? I wouldn't want to have to go back there since I'm not allowed to."
She smiled sickeningly sweet at me and told me she would do that for 'such a good young man' in a sugary voice before disappearing into the back of the office to copy the documents I handed her.
Alright, I thought, showtime!
I ducked quickly around the corner, crawling on my hands and knees past the desk of one of the assistant principals before mentally calculating the length of the connecting hallway. I rounded off my result and counted the heavy footfalls of the wandering security guard, once he reached seventy-two, I knew he was at the end of the hall. I looked to check and saw him go around the corner as expected. Running quickly down the hall, I then sat myself under a small desk and held my breath as the guard entered the other side of the passageway. I counted seventy-two again and then got back up, turning to the door at my right and thanking God that the locks were ancient as I picked it with the two paperclips from my pocket and stepped into the mail room, closing the door behind me as the guard passed by once more.
Flicking on the light, I poked around the various boxes and packages, looking for one addressed to Boston. I located one that had the right address, but it was about a 3 foot cube and whatever was inside couldn't weigh much more than the cardboard. I cut through the packing tape with a thumbnail and opened it; reaching inside the foam peanuts, my fingers closed around a familiar spherical shape. My mouth curled into a smile and I lifted out the Dragonball with the three stars inside it, turning it around and watching the light play across it's surface.
I pocketed it in my spacious cargo shorts and I then noticed a pile of letters on a desk right next to me. I picked them up and grinned broadly as I noticed the name on the return address.
Mr. Takoyaki, only the greatest bastard in the world...and I had him for my Algebra class...unlucky him. My eyes drifted to the paper shredder before realizing it would be too noisy and I tried to think of something else.
I wondered what the letters were and I decided at once to leave a little present for the mail guys along with the foam peanuts scattered about. I opened the letters and took them out of the envelopes, reaching into the desk for a pair of scissors and a glue stick. About a minute later I set the envelope in the middle of the mess with the words cut from the letters glued on to it spelling out a ransom-note style message:
Yo u guys Sho uld bee f up se CU rity .. . BE t t er luck nex T time . .. in catch ING :
The Kall torrai ya - j in !! !
I shut off the lights and locked the door carefully to avoid letting the guard hear it before opening the window and jumping out of it with ease. Looking around to insure the area in the back of the office was abandoned, I picked up a sizable rock and heaved it into the open window, listening for the crash and the yells of the people inside about a security breach.
Sprinting back to my class, I laughed at my own genius and thought about the stupidity and predictability of those people. I slowed down and walked back into my class with a Dragonball in my pocket, a smile on my face, and humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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Well, I told him not to listen to that stupid voice…and now he is doing it. I do hope he doesn't go and do something very stupid. Please review.