Love
Chapter 5 [Assorted]
Last Time on Days of Our Lives:
Sammy and Brandon made out wildly in the hospital while they should have been saving lives until Nurse so-and-so walked in on them… wait… wrong show. Sorry!
Last Time on Luuuuurrrrvvvvveeeee:
"Oh Severus! You're all I've ever wanted! Freak me!" Minerva said, flinging Severus onto the bed and ripping her hair out of the tight school bun passionately.
"Please Minerva, I don't want you to regret this, I love you enough that I'm willing to wait…" He begged, although he was deeply aroused by her stunning figure and astonishing beauty.
"No Sevvy- I could never regret this… I love you too much. I can't resist your rock hard muscles, your smooth hair, your wit and charm…"
"Well… you know…"
"Let's have one last freak together before I have to marry the evil Giuseppe!"
"If you insist, my lady- I would do anything for you! Even the nasty!" Severus smiled seductively and pulled Minerva towards him…
Damn.
Oops! Wrong again! Sorry!
Last Time on Love:
"Sure. You're welcome," Snape said, slamming a vial of dark purple liquid down onto her bedside table. It was labeled, in clear, Snape-ish printing, TMJ Cure for Minerva
"Hwhy Severus! How kind of you!" Minerva said, shocked out of her hostility.
"The way you say 'hwhy' is abhorrent, Professor McGonagall."
TBC (Ah. That's better. *evil grin* Mwahahaha. Ha.)
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Hermione's Dream:
"Mmm… It's so nice when we eat ice cream together. I don't have near as much fun eating ice cream with other people. When we get married, we should always have ice cream ALL the time and eat it together…" Hermione cooed to Draco as he spoon-fed her Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream, wearing only a pair of speedos…
Draco's Dream:
"Yes! Yes yes yes! Move out troops! You can't let those evil blue guys get you! Yeah!" Draco yelled as the little green men positioned themselves, shooting at the little blue ones. "And bring out the tanks guys! Yeah!" He ordered, watching as a little green tank blew up the little blue one "We're Winning!"…
Ginny's Dream:
"Yes Harry, I know you're madly in love with me, but hell, I can't just go out with you because you THINK that. You've ignored me for all these years, and that really hurt, so now… Harry what are you doing…?" Ginny was cut off as Harry kissed her passionately.
"Please Ginny?" He said, looking deep into her eyes.
"O-ok! Fine! Just as long as we get to snog all the time!"
Harry's Dream:
"Yes Ginny, I know you're madly in love with me, but hell, I can't just go out with you because you THINK that. You've ignored me for all these years, and that really hurt, so now… Ginny what are you doing…?" Harry was cut off as Ginny kissed him passionately.
"Please Harry?" She asked, looking deep into his eyes.
"O-Ok! Fine! Just as long as we get to snog all the time!"
"Wake UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" Ron's voice boomed, startling them all.
"Draco!" "Little Green Men!" "Harry!" "Ginny!", four voices yelled at the same time. Harry fell off his chair, Ginny sat straight up and banged her head on the end table of the couch, and Draco rolled off the couch, clutching at Hermione and taking her with him.
Ron surveyed his handiwork.
"Heh heh heh." (AN: I love Ron. *snicker*)(and little green army men too)
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Hagrid and Flitwick thanked Madame Rosmerta for the hot Butterbeers and turned to the subject of Hogwarts gossip. Hagrid listened to Filius' account of Trelawney's latest 'Vision' about a whale swallowing Harry Potter, then began his own tidbit.
"I know. Ne'er would've believed it 'cept I saw it with me own eyes. Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall snoggin' in the infirmary like a pair of 'ormonal teenagers. Tha's a cold day in 'ell if ever I saw one. If Poppy 'ad've been there they would've been in a clean bit of trouble alright, I'd say, eh Fil?" Hagrid said, smiling and shaking his head as he lifted a shocked Flitwick off the floor.
"C-Certainly Ha-H-Hagrid!" Flitwick squeaked.
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"RONALD WEASLEY COME OUT OF THAT LINEN CLOSET AT ONCE! HIDING WILL DO YOU NO GOOD- NO GOOD!"
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"We have figured out where Yamin's troops are positioned and it has come as a great surprise. While we thought them to be somewhere in Scotland still, they are actually at- Snape! No public displays of affection, please! They are actually at Abhinatha Manor. We had previously dismissed this possibility since- Minerva, honestly, control yourself- since Abhinatha seems too small to hold the entire Dark Army, but through an inside informant, we have learned that there is a charm placed on Abhinatha that makes it seem smaller than it actually is. We shall inform the ministry- quiet Snape. We SHALL inform the Ministry of this and with them plan an attack. You may go back to your sleep now."
There was a sigh of relief in the room as the staff of Hogwarts filed out of the office yet again, drowsy and in their pajamas. Snape and McGonagall were the last to go. Rosy and smiling, holding hands and wearing matching pajama sets, they had strolled halfway through the door when Dumbledore stopped them.
"Really, you two… no more overt displays of affection after the students return from holidays, ok? You must set a good example."
The Professors agreed and wandered out, giggling together over some little joke one or the other had made.
Dumbledore snorted.
"I'd forgotten how annoying young love is. I'm going to have to take points from their houses- or something!" He mumbled, rolling his eyes.
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(AN: Hang on a second, the 'Haunted St. John's' tour just went past my window… again… and I want to listen to the scary stories… back and eew that was gross. But ghosts don't exist right? And you'd be able to tell the difference between ale with a preserved body in it and regular ale right?)(Yeeps! Another tour… one second then… hope my blasting Tchaikovsky doesn't disturb them too much… right then… that was disturbing… over 10% of people buried in St. John's in the 18th century were alive… heh heh, pleasant way to wake up…)
"If I come out… will you hurt me?" Ron asked shakily from the linen closet.
"Of course not."
"Yes you will! I can hear you gritting your teeth out there Gin!"
"Only because I have a bit of a toothache. It's painful." The closet door inched open.
"Really? You poor thing! We should get you to a dentist, Mum will have a fit if she…" Ron came out of the closet, looking at Ginny worriedly. More so after he saw the angry glint in her eyes as she lunged at him.
"I'm taking you down, Weasley!" she yelled, imitating quite well both 'the Rock' and Bill. Hermione yelled up the stairs from the couch.
"Guys? Is everything ok?"
"Fine Darling," Draco called back, smirking.
"Are you letting Ginny kill Ron?"
"Ehm… n-no! Of course not! Why would we do that? No!"
"Too bad," She called back. Harry had stopped snickering when he saw Ginny's claws go dangerously near Ron's eyes, and was now trying to pull the scrapping Weasleys apart.
"Help me you stupid git!" Harry's voice was cut off as he received a boot in the face.
"Honestly… sleeping on the floor is bad enough… but this…? What would your Mother think? Fighting like common street rats on the floor… and a boy and a girl, no less…" Draco talked on, making wide circular hand gestures for an airy emphasis. "And really, I haven't-" Draco stopped abruptly as he saw Ginny and Ron were paying no attention to him at all, only still rolling around on the floor, and Harry was in the corner holding his nose. Sighing exasperatedly, he grabbed a Weasley- he couldn't tell which one- by the collar and pulled him/her/it into the air, out of the other thing's reach. It lunged wildly at the dangling feet of Weasley number one, who Draco now recognized as Jen… no, Ginny. He stuck his foot out just in time and Weasel went flying past him and into a wall, leaving Draco clutching Weaselette safely. He dumped her into Harry's arms.
"Better watch that one, mate." He said, nudging Ginny with his foot, who was at this point playing dead. Harry nodded his thanks as Draco trudged downstairs.
"Who won?" Hermione asked from behind a book.
"How'd you get that book?"
"I didn't use magic, don't worry. But who won?"
"If you didn't magic than you must have lifted it! Hermione! You aren't supposed to strain yourself in any way! And neither of them won! They were both unconscious when I came down."
"Oh, then Ginny. She always plays dead, it's her favorite trick."
"Plays dead? Like some kind of animal?"
"It's a Weasley wrestling technique."
"Weasels wrestle? Ugh… let's not go into this."
"You-"
"Anyway. We have more important things to sort out. Such as what is wrong with you and how we can fix it."
"I already told you we can't-"
"Hermione I think-"
Yells drifted down the stairs.
"Deepest sleep of my life… needed it… exhausted… butthead…playing dead…evil…telling Mum…stupid Muggle invention…" Ah. Weaselette.
"Wake up… Hermione… discuss…situation…oversleep…stupid bint…Draco Malfoy… floor…disgrace…Weasley…not stupid!" Weasel.
"Let's all…"
"Shut up Harry!" Two Weasel voices in one.
"all need sleep… not bint… who cares…Draco Malfoy… in front of… girl wrestling boy… not disgrace…giant evil hog…disgrace…IS stupid"
"wrong… sleep… middle of day…chrissakes… me care…stupid evil Malfoy… yes disgrace… pig-sister…Muggle invention…proud of…!" The conversation went on thus for a few moments until there was silence.
"Harry'll find it hard to get off for double-homicide even if he is the boy-who-lived and such-and-such." Draco said calmly, trying to pull Hermione's book away.
"Yes, most probably… how could a book strain me?"
"Eye strain, duh?!" Draco smacked his forehead, exasperated, and ran off to hide the book. Hermione pulled another from beneath her pillow.
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Harry hadn't committed double-homicide after all, Ginny and Ron were friends again (sort of), Draco had every book in the house locked in the attic, and Hermione had a Daily Prophet to appease her (slightly). Everyone was basically content.
"So now we should get down to discussing all the stuff that's going on-" Draco began his sentence matter-of-factly. He didn't get to finish it.
Riiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnng. Riiiiinnnnnnnggggggg.
Ron lunged to the phone and picked it up, smiling and holding up a finger to Draco. His smile faded as he heard who it was.
"Oh Hi Lavi…heh heh, yes I got your Christmas gift… oh, I sent yours…" Harry raised his eyebrows and Ron kicked him. "It must have got lost in the mail… maybe Pigwidgeon lost it… you know how he is… NO! Of course, I would never lie to you, sweetheart… eheh… but… Lavi think this over… don't be rash… there's no need…but… ok then. Ok." He hung up. "Um, she's coming over. She's a bit, er, pissed." Ron said, shrugging helplessly.
"Ron, I can't believe you didn't get your girlfriend a gift!"
"I just forgot about her you see, as she wasn't around…" Hermione looked disgusted and Ginny kicked him in the shins. Lavender Brown came hurtling through the fire, looking worried. The rest of the gang scrambled for the door, but she held up a hand.
"You can stay." She said, not looking away from the terrified Ron, who was huddled in a la-Z-boy.
"Ron honey, is something the matter?"
"bbewwgbfvdyucjhvguyavabuyre mumble…"
"Do you have a problem?"
"iiihhhhh… bnfiurhbguivuhgvbufdvatye."
"With work?"
"Nonotreally njkbfkbrewfbubvuyvb"
"Friends?"
"gmodinguarbgshvhsgdvnono." Lavender really did look a lot worried about him.
"Then what?"
"Grgngjnogvobw iEep." Ron had been looking at his knees during this entire conversation. He daren't look up.
"Me?"
"Weee-eeeell nfjkbefhbrtferufkdgvfyu…hesh…" Ron shrugged and grimaced.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"Gigfidgetmoogglenjdsbfifbierbtwieagyaga… ish."
"Ron, how could you say that! What, do you want to break up with me now?!"
"Well fnjdbnrfuwbefyubvibdsvybsiui friends bwebrywbeuf… Yeah."
"Ron! You are so horrible!"
"Miffleguffyahyah…" Ron shrugged and nodded in agreement. "Swhy youdunwanmeround. Heh heh."
"I'm leaving! Goodbye Hermione, Ginny! Good luck with those two. If you're lucky they won't turn out like HIM!" Lavi said, bursting into tears and hopping into the fireplace. All eyes were directed to Ron. He blushed and smiled half-heartedly.
"Thank God...?" He asked hopefully. Oops. He was suddenly assaulted by pillows.
"Ron that was the most horrible thing I've ever seen…" Ginny yelled, bashing him over the head.
"Sickening display of wimpiness and your true Weasel ways…" Draco said, making sure Ron's legs were good and battered.
"For once I have to agree with Draco… how could you?" Harry said as he beat away at Ron's midriff.
"Get 'im good!" Hermione yelled from the couch. After a few (ok, twenty) minutes of defenceless Ron being beaten with pillows, the three finally relented and backed away panting, still glaring at Ron, who looked considerably frightened and ruffled. His shirt was in shreds, his hair was everywhere, and he had curled himself into a protective little ball.
"How could you do that?"
"I don't like Lavi so much anymore…" He winced as Ginny was restrained by Draco and Harry. "Well would you rather I led her on?!" There were glances and a few shakes of head. "Exactly. Hmmph."
"But it was so cruel how you let her break up with HERSELF like that!" ** Hermione said, indignant. "You could've just said right at the start you know, and saved everyone the pain and embarrassment."
"Weee-eeell muffignosheyopyompyop…" Ron said.
"Hopeless." Ginny said in disgust.
"Ok, enough. Now let's get back to our conversation of important, LIFE-ALTERING, matters." Draco said.
"Yeah I guess we'd better." Harry said miserably.
Ding ling a ding ding ling ling.
Everyone jumped up at once and ran towards the door, except Hermione, who was held down by Draco.
"Guys! Open that door and die a horrible death!"
The latch unclicked.
"Could it be that none of you want to have this important discussion?" Silence.
"Hello?"
"Yes!"
Four voices in one. Draco scowled.
"Everyone is against me! Open the damned door, it can be nothing of any good." He walked sullenly out to the kitchen.
There was commotion at the door and it was swung open. A gust of chilly wind gasped through the house, making everyone shiver. When Harry, Ginny, Draco and Ron opened their eyes, they saw a small black figure with a tiny face sticking out of its hood. They ushered it in and the door slammed behind it as it pulled it's hood down to reveal it was an Asian girl of about their age, with shoulder length layered black hair (wet from melted snow) and brown eyes. She was a bit on the short side… well no awfully on the short side… about 5"2. The three stared at her. She was sort of… what was the word… adorable? Like a little, cute kitten lost in the snow. She was breathing heavily and shivering as she stared back at the three of them uncertainly. She was wearing a long back cloak that was completely soaked through. As none of them seemed prone to do anything, she nervously took it off, half-smiling in fear, and lay it over a chair. She was wearing Muggle clothing- jeans and a red wool sweater, and both were wet. She had a slim, petite figure and her hands, which she was wringing in front of her, had a lovely French manicure.
"Um… Salut!" She said mock-cheerily, watching the three for the reaction. Ginny was glancing at Draco for a hint as to how to act, Draco was standing stoically with his arms crossed across his chest and a firm non-expression on his face, Harry was blowing his fringe off his face, and Ron was smiling at her vacantly.
"Hey, I'm still alive guys!" Hermione yelled from the living room, breaking the silence.
"Hi…" Ginny, Ron and Harry greeted at once.
"Bonjour, petite dérangement." Draco said menacingly. Oh dear. (Zut!)
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"Oh Amicula, you needn't, really," Lucius said, watching as his wife scurried to get Stephen. "He's only with his Coach, I'm sure he'll be back in a moment." His Santa hat was askew and there was red lipstick on his face.
"Luscious darling, he's a whole 5 minutes late!" Narcissa was struggling with the door.
"Yes but anyway… eggnog." He picked up a glass and swirled it appetizingly.
"Well- but…"
"C'mon Ciss, don't worry." He said pleadingly with a smile that had made girls faint, back in the day. Actually, it still did.
"Ok!" Narcissa said, shrugging and grinning before skipping back over to him, absent-mindedly hoping she hadn't knocked over the eggnog in her eagerness. Giggle.
TBC
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AN: Sorry this one took a bit longer, but I was away and so. Are you intrigued by the new character? Mwahahaha! Lord Voldemort is still my hamster! I am so damn evil!
** I actually have seen girls break up with themselves. It's painful.
Thanks to Reviewers:
Lady-Saint Veronica- Thanks for consolation about bf. Am sort of icky-feeling about that right now. We do really love each other but seperation of Atlantic Ocean does not make for a good relationship. Damn my family and their gypsy ways. Anyway, at least this way if we're ever on the same continent again we might hook up. Sigh.
Icy Stormz- Yay! I missed everybody! Yeah, McGonagall's supposed to be 70-ish according to J.K.R. but… poetic license right? You live in Ontario? So cool! I'm going to boarding school up there in September! Where in Ontario do you live? My school's gonna be in Stratford.
Lola- Eep! Am overcome with happiness at your dazzling review!
Dracolover- interesting, yes… *shifty eyes*
TzamZ- darling… I wrote 2 chapters… within one day! :D Thank you for considering me as having the legend status. But I doubt I'm near as well known as Melissa D. or Lissanne or Cassandra Claire… but that's ok, I do feel I have a better relationship with my little following since I respond individually, painstakingly and lovingly to each of your reviews. Mwah dahlings!
Fruitloop-14- now that I'm back from my hols I'll try to update more often, and don't worry about Terrified, I'm working on that- I spent all day researching sexual abuse.
Mione G- Thanks!
Prancing, when'd you get too lazy to log in?
Ginn- Glad someone approves of my Snape/McGonagall move… I like it myself… :D
Perinnia- yes, all my writing's a bit strange since I'm a bit strange, sorry, I must jump around so much because I adore the way it keeps readers (and me) awake and alert, and I think my dialogue is fine for the purpose it is meant to serve- this is by no means a masterpiece, just insane ramblings in fic-form darling. Fun. Don't worry, am continuing.
:D You seem lovely, review more often.
PoPs- I'm pretending that Minerva and Snape went to school at the same time- poetic license. Since everyone has different perceptions of characters, a character can't really be 'out of character', in my opinion. I'm sure all of my characters are out of character to some people (ok, most people) but it's fan fic and it's humor and I'm not too concerned. Love you though doll.
Shadia- everyone lives in Ontario lately! I'm moving there this September too! To go to boarding school in Stratford. I'm very excited… and nervous!
Give Me Stitchez- Yay! You can go back to worshipping me! The temple is thataway… AHEM. I mean… not many people know what TMJ is. I wouldn't know if I didn't have the damn pain in the ass thing. I gotta go get some jaw exercises from the Dottore before I go off my nut… the hinge in my jaw is giving me hell. If only I had Snape. Nope I certainly never could resist puppy eyes. (I would never say this to anyone unless they were very close to me and I knew them very well, but it's the BEST burn. I was talking to my best friend Aaron once:
Me: Ari, how can you resist these puppy eyes?
Ari: Well, to tell you the truth I've never particularly liked dogs.
Me: Ari! Burn! Meanie. You suck.
Ari: Suck what?
Me: *rolls eyes* Arrrrriiiiiiiiii…
Ari: If you're gonna have an argument with ME you have to use proper grammar…
Me: Well then suck *beep*
Etc, etc, our usual sucking/grammar argument follows, you don't want to know the details. Trust me. Really. Underneath it all, we have a healthy relationship. I think.)
B4me- thank-you. I try.
F0xyness39- TMJ is the short for a medical condition I can't remember. It affects the ears and the hinge of the jaw (where the top and bottom sets of teeth meet). I myself have a icky case of it which is only diagnosed by my nurse Mother. It runs in our family. I really need to see a doctor about it and get some drugs (yay! Drugs! j/k) or exercises or whatever. Pain. Aching jaws every time I open or close them, and an occasional shooting pain in my ear… ugh. I want Snapie-poo! Waah!
Antation- I wouldn't worry about the last review. My hazy memory does not recall it due to Venice Pizzeria stuffed crust-induced bliss.
Evenstar Princess- nighty-night darlin'.
Smiley 13- THANK-you! I LOVE when people mention specific things in their reviews, even if it's just the little things. Even though 'good.' is a nice cheery review, it's the ones like these that make me feel appreciated, and like you guys actually pay attention to all the little things I do to make the story. Love you! :D
DragonAce- I'm glad someone thinks that them getting back together was a good idea. I was sort of pissed at myself for doing it. I probably should've drawn out the pain as much as possible, but you know. :D
AN: My evil henchman Rolf has interwoven a mind-altering pattern into the words of this chapter. You all have new memories and serve me unquestioningly. *snaps fingers* Kill! Get Tropicana and bring it to me! Mwahahahaha! -Stefano Dimira
Wait… wrong story. Hang on.
AN: Readers, Thank y'all for reading Luuuuurrrrvvvvveeeee. I truly hope that you will come back to read more about Sev and Min freakin'. Them doin' the nasty is truly inspiring to me and my girl. If you decide to come back again, I will treat you the fine way you deserve. Readers, I know what you want. In addition, as your author, I know what you need. Let Smoove take you away from reality. Let me tell you how things will proceed if you should decide to come back.
First, I shall tell you what happened last time on Luuuuurrrrvvvvveeeee, because you deserve to know all that is going on. Then I will tell you how beautiful you look, and whisper romantic things in your ear, such as:
"You are my cyber-queen" and "I have never seen a nicer cyber-booty." I will then-
CiL: Smoove, get the freak off my fic!
Smoove B: Did you say freak?
CiL: Sorry. Get the hell off my fic.
Smoove: Any of you cyber-chicks want to freak with me?
CiL: Smoove, I'm warning you…
Smoove: YOU want to freak with me?
CiL: No! Get off me you horny freak!
Smoove: Freak? Ok.
CiL: GET OFF! HELP ME!
Smoove: CiL, you are my ivory queen. I have never seen a creature as fine as you. Ever since the first time I saw you, I have wanted nothing more than to freak you senseless. Girl, I want to do the nasty with you so bad. I cannot believe how beautiful you are. Woman, I want to love you until the end of time.
CiL: Really? *giggles*
Smoove: I would never lie to you, girl.
CiL: Ok!
Smoove: Damn.
If you don't know who Smoove B. is, go to this addie:
http://www.theonion.com/onion3830/let_smoove_take_you_away.html
I really, really, really, really, REALLY LOVELOVELOVE the Onion. It is the best ever. May you falleth off your chairseth laughingeth. Readeth Smoove B'seth articles, they are hilariouseth.
CiL: Oh Smoove-y, you're so romantic, and your silk sheets are sooooooooo wonderful.
Smoove: CiL, I would never use any sheets but the finest for you. These are the finest sheets available regionally. If you did not like them I would go to China to get you finer sheets. I would…
Wait… this isn't right either! Damn.
AN: Ok. Me this time. *shoves Smoove off self* Love you all, REVIEW! That is all. I must go freak with Smoove now. I mean… look at Smoove's sheets with him. That's what I meant. Yeah. *runs into distance*