Chapter 18: Don't Leave Me

"No…he does…he must…no…why…I NEED HIM!" I gasped as I sat up abruptly in the hideout bed.

My chest moved up and down quickly as I tried to catch my breath. I was perspiring again. I felt so itchy from the beads of sweat that glided down my cheeks and along my nose.

I looked down at where I was to make sure I was still in the hideout. I saw that I had somehow wrapped my body in the sheets of the bed. No wonder I'm so hot and sweaty.

I flung off the sheets and slid my feet over the side of the bed slowly. I hung my head down to face my lap and thought.

I need to let him know how I feel before I go. I must. Even if he doesn't know that I'm trying to speak to him, I will feel better knowing that I have let all of my feelings fly to him for the first time. I need to release what's inside of me. To give him what is rightfully his. My love for him is so strong that death itself will not stand in the way. I will find a way to get to him. I will see him before I die. I will. No one can stop me. I'm Yuna. I'm strong. I will fight until the end and keep fighting afterwards.

I had now wondered over to the door of the hideout ready to leave, but suddenly realised that leaving was not as simple as it sounded. I stared down at the forest floor below.

How will I get down?

I left the door and slumped back down on the bed.

So much for not letting anything stand in my way. I can't even walk out of the door.

I began to grow angry at my sudden lack of confidence in myself. I was about to start screaming at myself for being so pathetic, when I heard a scratching noise against the bark of the tree.

Maybe Tidus has come back.

I panicked and ran for shelter under the bed, instead of heading for the window this time. I buried my head in my hands and prayed that whoever it was didn't find me. My breathing was becoming slower as I tried to keep quiet. I heard the pound of feet on the floor as the person landed in the hideout. They began to walk slowly around the room. I raised my head up a touch so that I could peer out in front of me. The feet had stopped walking and they were nowhere to be seen. Panic waves shot through my body causing me to hyperventilate.

I hated myself for being so weak. Now I was making enough noise for the person to find me. I was right. I felt my feet being tugged on forcefully and I was being dragged out from under the bed, from behind. I clung onto the floorboards, desperately trying to save myself, breaking several nails in the process. But now I had lost my grip and had flown out of the other side of the bed.

I landed on something firm and muscular and I thought that if this was Tidus, then I didn't mind spending a few moments like this. I closed my eyes serenely, thinking that I was with him and I began to glide my hands around his neck gently.

My hands slowly moved downwards over his chest lovingly, as I tried to picture what Tidus's bare torso looked like. I bet it was tanned perfectly like the rest of his body. I let my hands explore a little further and he didn't seem to object until I reached his waist and began to clutch onto him for dear life. He ended up grabbing my arms and ripping them away forcefully.

I opened my eyes and squinted through the darkness, but realised my vision was already clear as it was. I felt sick and guilty once I saw who was in front of me. It wasn't Tidus. It was the sentinel Seraph.

I looked away in sadness, not embarrassment. I pulled my arms out of his hands and whispered, "Why did you let me do it?"

There was an awkward silence that followed, which was broken by him saying, "I…why did you do it in the first place? Who did you think I was?" he asked curiously, from his position on the floor.

I was now sitting up on my feet and twiddling my fingers absentmindedly and answered his question truthfully, as I thought of Tidus, "I thought you were Tidus." I whispered, as tears choked my vocal cords.

He was silent for a minute but then stated questioningly, "Uh…Tidus?"

I nodded and then turned to face him with watery eyes.

"The master. His name is Tidus." I explained as I searched his eyes for something, which told me that he was here to help and not to cause me more pain.

He looked away, seeming quite uncomfortable with the situation at hand. What I had just done to him came flooding back into my mind. I had held him like I would have held Tidus, if I had ever had the chance. I had made him think that I was some girl who wanted a man so badly that she just leapt at the first person she came into contact with.

But as I gazed deeper into his eyes, I saw that there was concern and a hint of belief.

I broke the gaze and began to fiddle with my clothes, which I all of a sudden realised were sentinel clothing. I had forgotten I was still wearing the black and blue hooded uniform.

I wish I had something more comfortable to wear so that I could do what I had to do.

My thoughts were broken by him as he said, "You know…that uniform does nothing for your figure?"

It was almost as if he had read my mind.

I blushed and felt rather flattered by his kind comment, but I felt uncomfortable that he had at one stage checked me out.

I mean he couldn't tell if I had a good figure or not in this outfit could he? So he must have done it when I was in that short, revealing piece of cloth.

I became even more uneasy at the thought of me in that gown. I had nothing but underwear on underneath it. I was so exposed.

"Here." He said breaking my thoughts.

I looked back at him and noticed that his hand was outstretched towards me. I looked down and noticed that he was holding out some kind of package. I eyed him curiously, but the look in his eyes somehow made me feel more at ease.

I accepted it and began to open it. My eyes widened with delight for the first time in what seemed like years.

There lay clothes that would cover my whole body perfectly and alongside them were weapons.

Hang on. Weapons? What was he giving me weapons for?

I became suspicious once again and began to move away slowly.

He noticed and reached out to touch my arm. I became nervous and ended up backing into the bed.

"It's okay. I want to help." He assured me.

This statement made me so angry for some reason and the next I knew I was standing on my feet and yelling at him, "YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP ME DO YOU? FIRST YOU LOCK ME UP, THEN YOU BRING ME HERE AND NOW YOU'RE GIVING ME CLOTHES AND WEAPONS AND SAYING THAT YOU WANT TO HELP ME?"

He stood up and tried to calm me down by giving me a hug, which was totally bizarre considering the circumstances and that we didn't even know each other.

I however didn't pull away because right at that moment, a hug was what I really needed. We stood like that for no more then ten seconds though.

He pulled away and began talking to me soothingly.

"I know what you're going through. I won't tell you how I know, but I will tell you that if you want to do…what you feel must be done before…" his voice trailed off and he gazed into my eyes with sympathy.

"…then tonight is your chance." he finished standing up straight and stepping away from me.

I moved closer however and whispered, "What do you mean?"

He looked uncomfortable with what he was about to say, but he still said it.

"I believe that what you say is true. Well I think I do anyway. I want to leave this place, knowing that you were able to do what you had to."

I was utterly confused with his words.

Before he left this place? And since when did he give a damn about me doing what I had to? It was almost as if he knew that I was planning to see Tidus again before I died. The way he said before he left this place…he made it sound as if he was going to die as well.

Although I wanted to question him further, I bit my tongue and began to examine my new clothes.

"How did you get them?" I questioned as I sat down on the bed, feeling a little more comfortable in his presence.

He didn't answer me so I looked up to ask him again, only to see that he was staring out of the window lost deep in thought. So I decided to leave him for the moment and began to press my new top against my chest, to see if it was the right size.

It should have been the least of my worries right now, but I had to escape from reality sometimes. No one could live in the same world all the time.

I wanted to try on my new clothes right then, as my sentinel outfit was becoming quite hot and annoying. I looked over at Seraph again.

Should I change while he's here, or wait for him to leave?

"Um…could you turn around while I change?" I questioned, hoping that he would offer to leave the hideout instead.

However, he nodded and turned as I had asked.

I should have asked him to leave.

I stared at his back for a few minutes, making sure he wasn't peering over his shoulder at me. I figured that since it was pretty dark anyway he wouldn't be able to see me, even if he tried.

I hoped.

So I turned to face the door and lifted the sentinel chemise up over my head carefully and as soon as I had removed it, I placed my left arm over my breasts, so that I didn't feel as exposed.

I turned my head slightly to face him again. He wasn't looking thankfully. I then turned to pick up the top he had given me, off the bed. I removed my left arm from my chest and began to pull the top over my head, until it sat firmly over my upper body.

I examined it for a moment. It was a small white top, held up by two thin straps, with a very large split down the middle, going all the way down to the top of my waist. The two sides of the top were held together by a dark brown symbol of some sort. The top clung around my waist and in the middle of it, was a gold line of material, travelling all the way around to my back. At the end of my top was a dark reddish-pink pattern that sat just above my hips.

I had a pinkish hood of some sort, sitting firmly at the back of my neck, and it joined around at the front of me, in between my collarbone.

My necklace still lay around my neck beautifully and I wondered why this item hadn't been removed at the same time as my clothes had been.

I now began to unbuckle the large sentinel pants from around my waist and let them slide down my legs, to drop to the ground. I was now standing in my underwear and quickly grabbed the bottom half of my attire and began to slide them up my legs until they sat around my hips. I looked down at my short black pants and then back at the bed. I realised that there was still another item of clothing that was to be attached around my hips. I reached down to pick it up and held it out in front of me confused. It looked like some kind of skirt. Except it was only half. I shrugged and attached it firmly around my left hip, tying the blue straps together on my right side. It was actually quite beautiful. The colours were dark blue, which faded into a lighter blue, and then a ruffled pinkish-white pattern at the end. This pattern of colours repeated themselves three times, until it reached the end of my skirt.

Now for the boots.

Tall, black knee high's, which had white laces running up them. I pulled them on and was thankful that I actually had protection for my feet this time.

No more blisters or cuts.

As I turned my head back to the bed once more, the string of colourful beads embedded in my hair on the right, tickled my shoulder as they came into contact with my skin.

I giggled a bit causing Seraph to turn around.

I frowned at him and said, "What if I was still getting dressed?"

He looked like he was about to smile but quickly said, "Sorry…I'll uh…hey you look good."

I blushed and turned my head away shyly.

"So are you gonna put on your weapons young miss?" he asked as he gestured towards the two guns.

I spun my head to face him, "Aren't you afraid I might attack you again?"

I eyed him threateningly and waited for him to react. But the only thing he showed upon his face was an expression of calmness.

He shook his head and whispered, "If you were going to attack me, you would have already done it by now."

I furrowed my eyebrows and walked over to the weapons cautiously. I reached down and hesitated just before I touched them.

Flash Back

"Yunie over here, help us." Cried Rikku's shrill voice.

I began running over a mountain and arrived just in time to see a fiend attacking Rikku and Paine.

"I'm coming…hang on."

I began shooting at the fiend as I walked closer towards it, being careful not to hit the girls.

Finally it disintegrated into a thousand pyreflies and left us.

"Good going Yunie, oh and I have something for you." She said calming down and becoming serious, which was very strange coming from a girl like Rikku.

She handed me a sphere and walked off with Paine, leaving me alone.

I looked down at the sphere and saw a blonde, blue-eyed man staring back at me, with a smile upon his lips.

I felt tears escape my eyes and watched as they landed onto the sphere, and then he faded away.

End Flash Back

"Are you alright?" came Seraph's voice as I stood, with my hands lingering over the guns.

I shook my head, backed away and answered, "I can't use those."

"Why not? There only for your protection." He explained seriously.

"Since when did you care about my safety?" I asked glaring at him with my arms folded across my chest.

"Since…I began to believe you I guess." He said simply and shrugged his shoulders.

"That's another thing…why do you believe me? I am supposed to be your enemy…am I not?" I questioned turning back towards the door.

"Are you suggesting that you are in fact an enemy?" he said from behind.

I turned my head slightly to the right and shook my hair furiously.

"No…I'm not." I whispered, gazing back towards the door.

Then a thought came to me. Something that he had mentioned earlier.

My eyes glistened and I whirled around to face him yet again, my skirt flowing over my legs in the process.

"Before…you said that…if I wanted to do what I felt must be done before…" I swallowed back my misery and continued, "then tonight was my chance." I raised my eyebrow questioningly at him, as I searched his eyes for honesty, in what he was about to say next.

He looked away and gazed back out of the window at the moonlight, which was slowly getting dimmer, as the morning light was approaching the skies of Zanarkand.

"Yes…what I said was true. But it will be dangerous. If they see you and recognise who you are…I can't do anything to stop them from taking you away." He said seriously, as he turned back to look at me.

I nodded understandingly and said firmly, "I know what will happen if I am caught. But I won't let that happen."

He began to walk towards me with outstretched hands. I looked down at them to see that he was holding out a long hairpiece, with pink ribbon tied all the way around it, and at the bottom it was secured with a white sash and black lace. He was also holding out two gold armbands.

"What are those for?" I asked looking up at him.

He smiled and said, "It's so you won't be recognised. It was the best I could do. At least now they won't notice you as much with a new hairdo."

I took the new accessories and examined them thoroughly.

He was right in a way. It would help me be less conspicuous, but surely the other sentinels would recognise my face…wouldn't they?

I began to attach the hairpiece and once it was embedded firmly underneath my shoulder length honey-brown hair, I began to slide the gold armbands up each arm, until they sat between my shoulder blade and my elbow.

"So how do you know they won't recognise my face?" I asked, as I spoke my thoughts from before.

"I don't…but I'd say that you have a lot better chance then before…don't you?" he stated confidently, as he rubbed his chin seriously.

I nodded again and sighed.

"So where did you get this outfit anyway?" I questioned, as I began to walk towards the door, so that I could estimate how I was going to get out of here alive.

The forest floor below was still looking like a death trap from where I was, even if I had changed my attire.

He still hadn't answered me, so I turned around annoyed, to ask him if he was even listening to me.

I gasped in shock when I saw who was standing before me.

"Ti…dus?" I breathed, as I felt myself starting to become faintish.

He began to walk towards me and was moving his lips slowly, as if he was saying something.

As he got closer, I began to walk backwards and felt my feet lose their balance. I was falling and I watched, as he ran towards me, with an outstretched hand. He landed on his stomach and grabbed onto my left hand.

"Don't leave me Lenne." He whispered, as he gazed into my eyes.

I suddenly felt my body lose consciousness and I fell into a deep sleep.

A/N: Okay then. I'm finally getting somewhere. LOL!

Yunie Tidus