Chapter Three
Cancer free? I never thought those words would be associated with me...I had waited so long for the treatment I just figured it would do me no good. I have so many thoughts now. After what Sam just said to be I almost have no words...just lots and lots of what if's and what could possibily be. Sam still wants to know what went on inside with Marcel but I tell him i'd like to clean up a bit maybe take a shower actually see what I look like. No he says he'd like to hear it so that he could get me on my way. My way to what? I think. I have no one. Some honourable news he says I got a Metal for saving so many lives. He tells me how much courage it took me to go in that building with grenades and basically plan to blow myself up. He thanks me for being such an honorable heroic asset to the NYPD. But what no one could know is that once inside I pushed Marcel to turn himself in secretly hoping he might by some sliver. Also that once I pulled the pins all I could think of was Bosco and that one sweet kiss, my last kiss I thought I would have on this earth. Bringing Bosco with me was my way of telling him I loved him all along and that he was the only one I trusted to have my back. Might I have known i'd be living I don't know what I would have done. Confessed to him? He hardly spoke two words to me which made me very uncomfortable and hurt the way he basically ignored me. I'm not sure what made me jump at the chance to finally talk to him, maybe the opening that Faith no longer controled his thoughts, that they weren't getting along. Running after him in the parking lot his eyes finally setting in on me I got so nervous that it came out kind of snarky whether or not he could see. I knew he would come with me to get Marcel, someone attacking his precinct is like attacking his mother. With one last stop at my apartment to get ammunition even the way he looked at me when I said I took it from bust's and he stated matter-of-factly he didn't cut through me. It wasn't until I saw the grenade I knew what I was going to do, I felt so sick I could hardly talk. I never wanted to say goodbye to him, I never wanted him to hate me, the truth is I loved him more then life itself. Leaving that car was the hardest thing i've ever done. Hearing him ask how he'd know to call for back up and me having to tell him a simple answer: he'd know. For a sheer second I could almost see it in his eyes that he knew what I was about to do but I really don't think he thought I'd give my own life. They also don't know that after I pulled the pins I panicked and threw the grenades toward the door and jumped as far away from them as I could in the last seconds I wanted to live more then anything. I'm actually amazed I am alive. I guess I have a second chance. My thoughts keep going to Bosco, I wonder where he is now? I have so much going through my head. But right now I'm not going to tell the FBI too much. I tell Sam that too bad I'm cleaning up. He tells me that the bathroom is down the hall and there is some of my belongings in the closet in the room that I could change into.Disclamer: I don't own anything. Only Sam Roberts is my original character.