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Chapter dedicated to Anifan1 (see a previous chapter for explaination).
Jennifer's POV
I hardly dared to believe my luck in being infested by Terran. After many months with Braunan in my head, I felt it was simply far too good to be true. But eventually I began to come around to believing it.
Over the next few days, I gradually began to grow to trust Terran; only a little, but already I felt more confident than I had done under Braunan's rule. Terran would regularly ask me my opinion on something, to try and get me to open up to him. And even though I was confident he would never hurt me, I had still a deep rooted fear which prevented me really speaking my mind.
I had yet to see him 'lose his cool' as Rebecca might have put it; he had never spoken to me angrily or raised his voice to me. This made me begin to trust him more and more. Now, I acted like a voluntary host; well, I was, almost. I was pleased to have Terran, and I would be eternally grateful for the way he had treated me.
We were walking down into the Yeerk pool after my first feeding cycle with Terran as my Yeerk.
For the most part, I controlled my own body; and Terran would never take control or open a single memory without asking my permission. He did so now.
(Can I borrow your body, Jenny?) He asked gently. (It's just I'm not sure if you'll be able to control your expression once we get down there, and I can't afford to reveal myself.)
I was a little insulted that he thought I would give him away, but I agreed anyway. (Sure.)
Terran took control of my body gradually. It was odd; he never did anything quickly, as though I was a nervous horse. In a way, I suppose I was like an animal who has been beaten and is now with a new owner. Braunan had damaged me in ways which I often felt were irreparable.
(You aren't irreparable,) Terran said softly, reading my thoughts. I knew he couldn't help knowing what I was thinking, even if I did not direct it at him. I appreciated the comfort.
(Do you want me to leave?) Terran asked suddenly, as though it was something which had been bothering him for days, but he had only now got up the courage to say it.
(What… no!) I exclaimed. (What on Earth made you think that?)
(This is when I need to know for sure,) he replied. (I will find some way to not return if you so wish.)
(No,) I told him firmly. (Please, stay in me.)
(Thank you.)
We neared the edge of the second pier, the one designated for Yeerks leaving their hosts at the beginning of their feeding session.
(See you later,) Terran said casually as he slipped from my brain. It seemed that his normal cheerful character had been restored. Did it mean that much to him that I wanted him to stay in me? No, surely not. It can't have.
My musings were interrupted as the Hork- Bajir Controllers jerked me to my feet, digging a wrist blade into my shoulder in the process.
"Get off me, scum!" I screamed in pain and anger. I was dragged towards the cage and thrown inside. The lock clicked.
I sat down on the metal floor of the cage, nursing my injured shoulder and thinking about the last three days. I remembered the ways Terran had tried to calm my mind; speaking to me; replaying pleasant memories; even, on an occasion when I got particularly nervous, trying to slow down my heart beats. It was so different to Braunan's scornful cruelty that it made me feel it was untrue; that this was a dream and I'd wake up with Braunan laughing at my childish wish. But it was not so.
Tears began to drip from my eyes. I wasn't sure why; a complicated mix of relief, happiness and pain, pain at the memories of Braunan, perhaps? Anyway, I was certain that it was not for the same reasons that many of the people in my cage cried.
I did not have much more time to muse, however, as Rebecca was dragged to my cage.
After Braunan's first feeding, he made sure Rebecca and I were never together. Partially to torture me, but partially to stop me being encouraged by her. Of course, when Terran came he wanted things to be different.
FlashbackIt was the first night after I had changed Yeerks, and I couldn't sleep. I wanted to, but my brain just wanted to keep sifting through all the new information. Of course, all these extra electric impulses kept waking Terran up.
(Jenny!) He muttered, exasperated.
(Sorry,) I replied for the eighth time. I wasn't afraid; I had learnt during the previous seven times that Terran was not going to punish me.
My Yeerk sighed. (It's clear you're never going to get to sleep,) He remarked. (I could tell you a story.)
(A story? I'm not a baby.)
(I know. But this is an interesting story.)
(I'm sorry, but I think perhaps not now.)
(But you're never going to sleep.)
(I will. I'm just, well, stressed I suppose. I never used to sleep much when Braunan was infesting me, either. I guess I maybe just miss the company of humans. I mean, when I'm free.)
(Do you not see your friend Rebecca in the cages?) He asked.
(Braunan cut off all contact because she inspired me to fight him,) I said wearily.
(Scum,) Terran said. The word was said venomously. It surprised me how Terran seemed to hate Braunan, another member of his species.
Terran must have read my thoughts. (We are not all like him, and many of us, even those not in the peace movement, despise his methods of 'breaking' hosts, if you like. I realise that is perhaps an insulting term, but I cannot think of another. Hosts change Yeerks quite a lot, especially those of low value, so other Yeerks often have to deal with the damage which is done. Plus, of course, I cannot understand how anyone could treat you so cruelly. I hate him for what he has done to you. To you and to many, many others.)
I was surprised at Terran's concern for me. Why would he feel this way? I knew there were kind Yeerks, but that Terran seemed to have become so attached to me in so short a time was a little shocking. But, to my surprise, I felt affection for him, also.
Terran had either not noticed these thoughts or was pretending not to. (I will arrange for you to spend time with your friend,) he said simply. And that was that.
End flashbackNow, Rebecca came towards me, smiling.
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