AN: YAY! Ello. Um, I don't have anything new to say. Oh, and Fish-chan gets points because she is smart and knew that the cast formatting was stolen from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Which I don't own. She also informed me it could also be the tale of two cities, but since I haven't read that yet...yeah. It was RHPS.
I don't own ANYTHING, not Inuyasha, not the Little Mermaid, or the various things I stole from, like Monty Python and the Holy Grail,etc.
Flame Retardent- Comments and discussions welcome. Corrections expected and are encouraged. All flames will turn on tiny sprinklers in your computer and flood your hard drive.
CAST
Narrator (an expert)...Kagura
Eric (a prince)...Miroku
Grimsby (a handyman)...Hachi
Announcer (a servant)...Shippou
King Triton (a king)...Kagome's Grandfather
Horatio Thelonious Ignatius Crustaceous Sebastian (a servant)...Inuyasha
Aquata (a daughter)...Mistress Centipede
Andrina (a daughter)...Kagome
Arista (a daughter)...Koharu
Atina (a daughter)...Kanna
Adella (a daughter)...Yura of the Hair
Allana (a daughter)...Jaken (he won't be in seashell bras or anything, fear not.)
Ariel (a heroine)...Sango
Flounder (a friend)...Kirara
Shark (an enemy)...Bruce from 'Finding Nemo'
Scuttle (a seagull)...Sesshoumaru
Ursula/Vanessa (a sea witch)...Naraku
Jetsam (a servant)...Jakosu
Flotsam (a servant)...Bankotsu
Max (a pet)...Kouga
Louis (a cook)...Kikyo
Priest (a priest)...Kaede
>
Sesshoumaru: No.
Kagura: PLEEEASE?
Sesshoumaru: No. A bunny was bad. Maleficent was the best part ever. But there is no way. Under NO circumstances. Ever. Am I, Sesshoumaru going to play a seagull.
Kagura: I was afraid of this. -takes a deep breath- okaytherealreasonweneedyoutoplaytheseagulisbecauseRinisbeingheldhostagebymassmurdererswith...um...straws...andnobodybutyoucansaveherbutsincewe'retryingtoputonthisplaytheonlythingIcoulddowasassigntheroleoftheseagulltoyoubecauseintheendtheseagullsavesRinsoyou'retheseagull.andIthinkitsdumbyoustillusetheI,Sesshoumarusentencepattern.
Sesshoumaru: ...
Kagura: PLEEEASE?
Sesshoumaru: My innate acting skills should be put to better use...
Sango: -swims up- Hey, can you tell me what this is? -holds up the fork-
Sesshoumaru: Ningen stuff? I, Sesshoumaru, should not even be near it. It is a fork.
Kagura: Innate acting skills. Yeah.
Sesshoumaru: I will now share some information about the fork that is totally unreliable and wrong.
Sango: Oh, that makes sense. What about this? -holds up pipe-
Sesshoumaru: Oh, more completely useless and false information about what humans use things for.
Sango: Thanks. And you made me remember that I was supposed to be in a concert, and now I will leave to give my father a chance to kill me.
Sesshoumaru: Sounds good.
>
Kagura: -mysterious voice- But little did she know, the sea witch's servants were watching her...and what they saw, she saw.
Everyone: ...
Kagura: Shush.
Naraku: -sighs- Yeeeeeees, hurry home, princess. We wouldn't want to miss old daddy's celebration, now, would we? Huh! Celebration indeed. Bah! In MY day, we had fantastical feasts when I lived in the palace -gestures to pictures of him and three other people with a gourmet food table that only has about three meager dishes on it. And now, look at me - wasted away to practically nothing -gestures to his EXTENSIVE waist-, banished and exiled and practically starving -gestures to table upon table of gourmet food-, while he and his flimsy fish-folk celebrate.
Everyone: ......
Naraku: Well, I still want the palace.
>
Kagura: Now we get to watch this well-rehearsed arguement.
K.G.: I just don't know what I'm going to do with you. I never have problems with your other sisters...
Sango: REALLY, now.
K.G.: Well...
Sango: -ticks off on her fingers- Mistress Centipede is totally evil and doesn't even have proper skin, and doesn't know what clothes are. Kagome's failing school because she's off galavanting in the Feudal Era, Koharu goes after men like 6 years older then her, Kanna steals souls, Yura beheads men to steal their hair, and Jaken isn't even a girl and takes orders from a seagull.
Sesshoumaru: I, Sesshoumaru, am NOT a seagull.
Sango: You have more problems with my other sisters then me.
K.G.: Well, maybe, but I'm still going to yell at you. Your behavior was careless and reckless.
Sango: Aren't those kinda the same thing?
K.G.: ....no.
Sango: Reckless: Adjective 1. a. Heedless or careless. It's even in the DEFINITION.
K.G.: I'm not sure I like you too much.
Kirara: It wasn't even her fault. Ah - well - first, ahh, this shark chased us - yeah - yeah! And we tried to - but we couldn't - and - grrrrrrrrr - and - and we - whoooaaaaaa - oh, and then we were safe. But then this seagull came, and it was this is this, and that is that, and -
K.G.: Seagull? Ha, more incriminating evidence. You went up on the surface again!
Sango: -glares at Kirara-
Kirara: Oh, heheh, did I say she did? It was one of those...um...swimming underwater seagulls....yeah...that crazy inbreeding?
K.G.: -glare at Sango- How dare you. Tsk.
Sango: Nothing...happened...
Miroku: -pops his head in- You know, that line alone knowing she was getting in trouble, you could assume some pretty interesting things...
Everyone: YOU. Only YOU would assume that. Besides, you aren't in this scene.
K.G.: Do you think I want to see my youngest daughter snared by some fisheater's hook?
Sango: You just said you didn't like me...
K.G.: Never go up to the surface again.
Sango: Alright. For some unknown reason, that makes me cry hysterically, so I'll leave now. -she and Kirara leave-
>
Inuyasha: -le sigh- Teenagers...they think they know everything...give them an inch and they swim all over you... Why, if Ariel was my daughter, I'd show her who was boss. None of this "flitting to the surface" and other such nonsense. No, sir - I'd keep her under tight control. I hate this part.
K.G.: You're absolutely right.
Inuyasha: Of course I am.
K.G.: Ariel needs constant supervision.
Inuyasha: Constant!
K.G.: And you are JUST the crab to watch over her.
Inuyasha: Dammit!
>
Kagura: Now he's walking down a thingy away from the castle talking to himself...schizo now, are we?
Inuyasha: No!
Kagura: Admitting it is the first step. He sees Ariel and Flounder sneaking away and decides to follow. They end up in a cave filled with loads of human stuffs.
Kirara: Are you ok?
Sango: If only he understood...I don't see how a world that makes such wonderful things -gestures to around her- can be bad. I'm not singing, you can't make me.
Kagura: Ok.
Sango: Really? I don't have to?
Kagura: Nah.
Sango: ...Well, I guess I could sing a LITTLE...
Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has ev'rything?
Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Lookin' around here you'd think
Sure, she's got everything
Kagura: Reverse psychology. Works every time. Sebastian has been struggling around and falling over stuff and crashing into things and ruckasing about and making a lot of noise and-
Army from Monty Python: GET ON WITH IT!
Kagura: Right.
Sango: Sebastian?
Inuyasha: Are you MAD? Am I all of a sudden British? Or Australian? What is all this stuff?
Sango: In order, no, no, no, and my collection.
Inuyasha: Your collection, eh? ARRGH, am I Canadian too now? Do you know what your father would do if he knew about this?!
Sango: Jeez, is someone full of questions. In order, yes, no, you're japanese, and I try not to think about it.
Inuyasha: You know, most of these questions are rhetorical.
Sango: You aren't gonna tell my father, are you?He won't understand.
Inuyasha: I might, but let me act all nice.
Boat: -passes overhead-
Sango: Oooh, pretty. Lemme go find out what it is!
Kirara: Can you say easily distracted?
>
YAY! To be continued.