AN: Oh.my.god. I am sooo sorry I haven't updated in like 3589703789657056 years. ; Yes. That many. But I shall work harder next time. ...maybe...
Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING, not Inuyasha, not the Little Mermaid, or the various things I stole from. There weren't really any I saw in this part, but just in case I just didn't catch them, I own NOTHING. I also don't own my friend Kacey, who makes a guest appearance. I do own myself, Whitney.
Flame Retardent- Comments and discussions welcome. Corrections expected and are encouraged. All flames will turn on tiny sprinklers in your computer and flood your hard drive.
CAST
Narrator (an expert)...Kagura
Eric (a prince)...Miroku
Grimsby (a handyman)...Hachi
Announcer (a servant)...Shippou
King Triton (a king)...Kagome's Grandfather
Horatio Thelonious Ignatius Crustaceous Sebastian (a servant)...Inuyasha
Aquata (a daughter)...Mistress Centipede
Andrina (a daughter)...Kagome
Arista (a daughter)...Koharu
Atina (a daughter)...Kanna
Adella (a daughter)...Yura of the Hair
Allana (a daughter)...Jaken (he won't be in seashell bras or anything, fear not.)
Ariel (a heroine)...Sango
Flounder (a friend)...Kirara
Shark (an enemy)...Bruce from 'Finding Nemo'
Scuttle (a seagull)...Sesshoumaru
Ursula/Vanessa (a sea witch)...Naraku
Jetsam (a servant)...Jakosu
Flotsam (a servant)...Bankotsu
Max (a pet)...Kouga
Louis (a cook)...Kikyo
Priest (a priest)...Kaede
>
Kagura: Sango surfaces to find a boat. Er, ship. The same one from the beginning. Yeah. There are fireworks. And...um...yesh. Sango somehow manages to be hanging out of the window, in perfect view of everything that happens. Naturally.
Kouga: Obviously I can smell her.
Sango: Why? ARE YOU SAYNG I SMELL BAD?
Miroku: He's my DOG?
Kouga: I'm his DOG?
Kagura: He's your dog. You're his dog. Yay.
Kouga: I hate you.
Miroku: This is hilarious. Max, here boy. Hey, come on, mutt, whatcha doing, huh Max? Good boy.
Kouga: ...Hate. Hate.
Sango: I've never seen a human this close before. He's...not saying it.
Kagura: Ok.
Sango: FINE. I'll SAY it.
Kagura: Yay for reverse psychology.
Sango: He's so beautiful.
Miroku: O.O OMG. FINALLY. YOU SEE IT. -cheers-
Sango: -.-;;
Sesshoumaru: -looking at Kouga- I dunno, he looks kind of hairy and slobbery to me...
Kouga: I AM NOT HAIRY AND SLOBBERY.
Kagura: You kind of are.
Inuyasha: Yeah. Not to mention dirty. And in this fic, Kouga, GUESS WHAT YOU ARE? YOU'RE A MUTT. -gloats- Mutt mutt mutt.
Kagura: Shh.
Sango: I wasn't talking about that one.
Kouga: 'THAT ONE'? I have a name.
Sango: I was talking about the one with the so-called 'snarfblat'.
Everyone: ...huh?
Sango: The one smoking up. Honestly, that shouldn't be in kids' movies. Setting bad examples. DON'T SMOKE, KIDS.
Kagura: Oh, please, they don't even know what it is. From the information earlier, they think it's an instrument.
Sango: ...-.-;
Hachi: Silence! Silence! It is now my honour and privilege to present our esteemed Prince Eric with a very special, very expensive, very large birthday present.
Miroku: That's the best news I've heard all day. What is it, what is it? Special...expensive...large...IT'S A HAREM!
Hachi: -shock- NO! -large, gaudy statue of Miroku is revealed- I had hoped it would be a WEDDING present...but nooo...the entire kingdom wants to see you happily settled down with the right girl.
Miroku: Hach, don't start. You know I'll marry anyone.
Kagura: -glare-
Miroku: Erm, I mean, she's out there somewhere. I just - I just haven't found her yet. WOW! I have some semblance of morals in this story!
Hachi: Well. You should look harder.
Miroku: Looking is good. Feeling is better. -coy glance at Sango-
Sango: -glares at him- You don't know I'm here, RIGHT?
Miroku: Oh. Right. -slight pause- And you want to know what's even BETTER?
Everyone: NO!
Miroku: Ah well. Perhaps later. Believe me, Hach, when I find her I'll know - without a doubt. It'll just - bam! - hit me - like lightning.
Kagura: Great, now you've jinxed it. By movie LAW, I have to start a huge storm now. -snaps fingers, and huge storm strikes.-
Sailor: Hurricane a'commin'! Stand fast! Secure the riggin'!
Kagura: And the wind blows Scuttle away from the ledge.
Sesshoumaru: -as he flys away- Damn youuuuuu!
Kagura: And lightning strikes the boat, starting a fire.
Miroku: It was a figure of speech, damnit!
Kagura: Oooh looky what I can do! -ship crashes- Everyone on the boat is thrown overboard. Except for Max.
Kouga: HAHA, superior survivial skills! -starts to dance about happily-
Kagura: Who, apparently, has forgotten that THE SHIP IS ON FIRE.
Kouga: The ship! The ship is on fire! We don't need no water, let the motherf-
Kagura: Ahem.
Kouga: -er burn!
Miroku: NO, you idiot, the ship is REALLY ON FIRE.
Kouga: ...shit.
Kagura: Prince Eric goes back onto the ship to save his dog-
Miroku fangirls: AWWWWWWWWWWWWW, how sweet.
Kagura: -and gets Max off the ship-
Kouga: I can't swim!
Kagura: -but is trapped-
Miroku: Shoot!
Kagura: CAN'T I FRICKING TELL A STORY WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED EVERY OTHER SECOND?
Miroku fangirls, Kouga, and Miroku: ..sorry.
Ship: -explodes-
Kagura: On beach. Ariel is sitting next to an unconscious Eric.
Sango: Is he dead?
Sessoumaru: EW,ew,ew,ew. Not touching the ningen. What if he actually IS DEAD? I don't wanna touch a dead person! ewwwww.
Kagura: Hmm. Kind of a wuss, ne?
Sesshoumaru: -checks his pulse and opens an eye- I dunno. How am I supposed to tell if he's dead or not? I think he's gone. Um, how are we supposed to move on with the story if he's dead?
Kagura: Use your brain.
Sesshoumaru: -there is a very, very long pause- Er...
Kagura: Oh my god. You're kinda REALLY STUPID.
Sesshoumaru: OHHHHHH. -takes out Tenseiga-
Kagura: -hits herself in head- ugh.
Sesshoumaru: I probably should have gotten that sooner.
Miroku: -sits up- YEAH, YA SHOULD HAVE.
Sango: -shoves him back down- YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD.
Miroku: Not dead.
Sango: Not CONSCIOUS.
Miroku: -pause- Ok, you're right. Now you have to say your next line.
Sango: No I don't.
Kagura: -glares-
Sango: mmmph.
Kacey: -pops in- C'mon, you're not committing to anything, and you HAVE to admit he's gorgeous.
Miroku: -sits up again- Yeah! See, she knows what she's talking about. What's your name, miss?
Kacey: San-san!
Sango: ...
Miroku: Ah. Lovely name. If I could...-takes her hand- Would you kindly consider bearing my child?
Kacey: YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS! -glomps him-
Whitney: SHE'S FOURTEEN. -grabs Kacey and hauls her out of the picture- -mutters toward Miroku- Sicko.
Miroku: Aww.
Sango: Wellll, since he isn't cooperating, I CAN'T go on. -nods-
Miroku: -lies back down-
Sango: Damn. -mutters- isn'thebeautiful.
Miroku: HA I KNEW IT!
Sango: You're still unconscious!
Miroku: Ok!
Sango: -sigh- What would I give
To live where you are?
What would I pay
To stay here beside you?
What would I do to see you
Smiling at me?
Where would we walk?
Where would we run?
If we could stay all day in the sun?
Just you and me
And I could be
Part of your world.
Kagura: -sighs happily- I love when they sing without arguement. Kouga and Hachi are coming.
Sango: GOOD, I get to get away from him. -hurries back into the ocean and swims away-
>
AN: YAYY. Ok. -starts to work furiously on the next chapter- I love reviews. -nods-