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Chapter dedicated to Anifan1 (you must know how it works by now!)
Sorry I've been a while updating this fic and my other ones, too; it's dreaded end-of-year-exam time! Plus my teachers have chosen now to set us loads of coursework, and I have my work experience interview coming up. So unfortunately my updates will be very slow until half term comes around in a couple of weeks. Sorry!
Anyway, here's a new chapter! Enjoy!
Terran's POV
Almost as soon as I left Jenny's ear, I was intercepted by Illim. We went to a more private area of the pool.
(Does she wish you to leave?) He asked me, coming straight to the point.
(No,) I replied. (She seems very traumatized, though. I mean, one minute we're getting on fine, then I say one sentence and she starts sobbing again.)
(It will take time,) Illim advised.
(Yes,) I agreed. (What Braunan did to her… I can't believe anyone could be so cruel.) I was overcome by a sudden fit of rage. (I hate the dapsen!)
(I understand. But being angry with Braunan won't help anything. You need to focus on what you can do to help this host.. what is her name?)
(Jennifer,) I replied. (Jenny to her friends. I hope to be counted among her friends.)
(Did she say much to you? I mean, properly, not sobbing or screaming.)
(She began to, once she realised I wasn't going to hurt her, but usually only when I asked her a question.) I paused. (It was odd. She didn't scream at all when I infested her, didn't say anything. I think she was afraid of being punished,) I said sadly. (I would prefer a host to the pool, like any other Yeerk, but there is absolutely no need to treat them like that.)
(Yeerks like Braunan are very rare,) Illim told me sensibly. (Most are at least halfway decent to their hosts.)
(But the minority do so much damage. And I don't think statistics would comfort the hosts who suffer. Jenny's memories… I tried not to play them too much, but I had to find out what happened…) I trailed off.
(I wish Braunan was dead,) I suddenly burst out ferociously.
Illim seemed a little surprised. (Isn't that a bit harsh?)
(Braunan deserves it. There are very few who do, and he is one of them.)
(Terran…)
I swam away. Illim was right; I was overreacting. There were hosts who had been treated worse than Jenny. And yet… I felt more affection towards Jenny than any other host I had ever infested.
It occurred to me that I was being unusually over-emotive; normally I felt pity to hosts, was angry with Yeerks like Braunan; but now I felt another emotion. I couldn't explain it. It was a sort of mix of affection, sympathy and a sense of responsibility for Jenny, a sense that I, and only I, had the duty of keeping her safe. It was very strange.
I then remembered that I had vowed to confront Braunan about the way he had treated his host. I knew we would be feeding in the same session, so I set out to find him.
I had to ask many Yeerks before one could lead me to him.
(Braunan 232?) I asked, trying to keep the anger from my voice.
(Who are you?) He asked. He wasn't angry or anything like that, just curious.
(I am Terran 864.) When he did not reply, I continued. (I am the new Yeerk for your previous host.)
(Oh,) he said. (Got it well broken for you, did I? Come to say thanks?)
I could no longer hold off my rage. (No, you dapsen!) I snapped. (I can't believe what you have done to Jenny.)
(What!) He exclaimed. Now he was sounding angry. That was fine, it was mutual.
(That girl was once a lovely individual, and you've turned her into a terrified wreck. I now have to repair all the damage. Thanks to you.) I spoke in a lower, calmer voice now.
(I can't believe how any Yeerk could be so cruel,) I finished.
Braunan laughed. (You need to toughen up, child,) he said with a sneer. (Hosts take advantage if you don't show them who's in charge.)
(You dare to call me 'child'! It's not exactly mature to go round torturing other sentient beings just for the fun of it. You're nothing but a stupid bully.)
(She's only a host. You aren't one of these rebels we keep hearing about, are you?) With that, Braunan swam off, as Illim swam up.
(What do you think you are doing?) He hissed. (You're making him suspicious. Why can't you just let it go? This will not help Jenny.)
(It may help his new host.)
(It will not. Even Aftran herself could not have turned one like him around, let alone you. Just try and help Jenny. I have a feeling she wouldn't be pleased if she found out what you have done.) Illim paused. (Besides,) he continued, (If you are trying to turn him around, insulting him won't change anything. All it will do is make him angry and less likely to listen to you.)
(I realise that it was foolish, but I can't seem to contain my anger.)
I was cut off by the summons to return to my host, and swam to the infestation pier.
I greeted Jenny when I returned, but was otherwise silent. She noticed this, and finally got up the courage to ask what was wrong.
(Oh, it's nothing,) I replied. (I was just thinking. How was Rebecca?)
(Fine,) Jenny said dubiously. (What's wrong?)
(It doesn't matter,) I repeated, nervous that I would upset Jenny if I told her what had occurred.
She thought for a while. Then I felt her flash of realisation.
(Jenny, I-)
(You spoke to Braunan! You idiot! Do you realise what you could have done?)
(Yes I do!) I snapped at her. (Shut up, human.)
I felt her sudden rush of negative emotions: fear, hurt, a flicker of anger. I realised what I had said, and immediately began to feel guilty, and worried.
(Jenny?) I asked tentatively. (Jenny, I'm sorry.)
Did she even hear me? She showed no reaction: didn't answer, her feelings and thoughts didn't change. I realised then that the two sentences I had uttered in anger; anger that was more directed at myself than at her; that my words could have undone everything I had tried to accomplish with Jenny, to make her feel less nervous. I felt guilty. I had told her that I would not be angry, yet I had been. I had broken a promise, and that would make her mistrust me even more.
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