Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING, not Inuyasha, not the Little Mermaid, or the various things I stole from, like Lord of the Rings. I also don't own my friend Kacey, who makes another guest appearance.
Flame Retardent- Comments and discussions welcome. Corrections expected and are encouraged. All flames will turn on tiny sprinklers in your computer and flood your hard drive.
CAST
Narrator (an expert)...Kagura
Eric (a prince)...Miroku
Grimsby (a handyman)...Hachi
Announcer (a servant)...Shippou
King Triton (a king)...Kagome's Grandfather
Horatio Thelonious Ignatius Crustaceous Sebastian (a servant)...Inuyasha
Aquata (a daughter)...Mistress Centipede
Andrina (a daughter)...Kagome
Arista (a daughter)...Koharu
Atina (a daughter)...Kanna
Adella (a daughter)...Yura of the Hair
Allana (a daughter)...Jaken (he won't be in seashell bras or anything, fear not.)
Ariel (a heroine)...Sango
Flounder (a friend)...Kirara
Shark (an enemy)...Bruce from 'Finding Nemo'
Scuttle (a seagull)...Sesshoumaru
Ursula/Vanessa (a sea witch)...Naraku
Jetsam (a servant)...Jakosu
Flotsam (a servant)...Bankotsu
Max (a pet)...Kouga
Louis (a cook)...Kikyo
Priest (a priest)...Kaede
Kagura: Look. It's Eric. He just woke up after washing up on shore, Ariel just left, and now Grimbsy and Max are there. w00t.
Hachi: Eric! Oh, Eric. You really delight in these sadistic strains on my blood pressure, don't you?
Kacey: MIROKU'S A SADIST!1! I knew it. -pause- Wait. He's supposed to be the MASOCHIST. Sango and Miroku...S&M...Miroku's not supossed to be a sadist...
Kagura: Try, uh, reading too much into things?
Sango: And I am NOT a sadist. OR a masochist.
Kacey: -sticks out tongue-
Kagura: -rolls eyes- ANYWAYS...
Miroku: But I was rescued by this girl...she had a gorgeous voice...and two nice, perfect, round-
Sango: MIROKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
Miroku: -eyes. )
Sango: -glare-
Miroku: -blinks innocently-
Hachi: We've gotta get you to bed.
Kacey: -opens her mouth-
Kagura: -glares-
Kacey: But...but...too good of an oppurtunity to miss!
Kagura: No.
Kacey: Fine. -settles for making a Miroku plushie and Sango plushie do obscene things to each other in the corner-
Hachi: Off to the castle.
Kagura:And now we're at a rock. Yay.
Inuyasha: -talking to himself- We just gotta forget this whole thing ever happened. The sea king will never know. You won't tell him, I won't tell him. I will stay in one piece.
Kacey: Schizo.
Inuyasha: We are NOT schizophrenic, are we, precioussss?
Sango: -gives him a weird look- Right. I'm going to start singing spontaneously again.
I don't know when
I don't know how
But I know something's starting right now
Watch and you'll see
Some day I'll be
Part of your world.
Kagura: As she's singing and Sebastian is continuing his schizophrenic tendencies, Flotsam and Jetsam are still stalking her. Don't you two have anything better to do?
Jakotsu: Not ethpecially.
Kagura: Right. Cut to Ursula's chamber.
Naraku: I say no an unnecessary amount of times, inform you that Ariel is in love with Eric, as if you didn't already know, and then start talking about a garden. Am I ever confusing.
Kagura: Aaaaaand now to the castle and the daughter's dressing room.
Kagome: Sango. You've been in there forever. I need to...I dunno. Come out.
Sango: Um, alright. -come out humming to herself-
Kanna: -unenthusiastically- what is with her lately.
Sango: -passing Triton- Morning, Daddy.
Kagome: Oh, she's got it bad!
K.G.: What? What has she got?
Kagome: Isn't it obvious? Ariel's in love.
K.G.: Ariel? In love?
Kagome: ...that's what I just said...
Kagura: Now we're at some random rock. And Sebastian is, surprise surprise, TALKING TO HIMSELF. AGAIN.
Inuyasha: Waiii. I'm not a fricking schizo.
Kagura: Say your next line.
Inuyasha: O.K. So far, so good. I don't think the king knows. But it will not be easy keeping something like this a secret for long.
Kagura: Who were you talking to?
Inuyasha: -glares- I don't know. -coughs-GOLLUM.GOLLUM.-coughs-
Kagura: ...
Inuyasha: I'm not a schizo! I don't know why I said that. GOLLUM!
authoress whimpers
Kagura: Shhh, you're scaring the writer away. She hates Gollum. And Smeagol.
Inuyasha: I'm not Gollum or Smeagol. I don't know why I'm coughing like that. GOLLUM, GOLLUM.
Sango: -picking petals off a flower-
Random smartass: Where'd she get a flower like that underwater?
Kagura: Shhh. When you read too much into these, your head hurts.
Sango: He loves me...hmmm, he loves me not...-gets to last petal- He loves me! I knew it! I don't know why I care! Cause I don't like him!
Inuyasha: Ariel, stop talking crazy. That was the actual line, and in this it is in regard to you following that stupid flower tradtion, and to you denying you're in love with Miroku.
Person who started the stupid flower tradition: Heeeeeyyyy...
Inuyasha: ...Seriously. If you want to know if the person likes you, just ASK them.
Kagura: Coming from you, Inuyasha, that makes NO sense, Mr. It's-Obvious-To-Everyone-But-You-And-Kagome-That-You-Two-Are-In-Love-But-Still-Deny-It.
Inuyasha: I don't love Kagome. I don't even LIKE her. She's just a jewel shard detector! -getting worked up- Really! I have no emotional attachment to her whatsoever!
Kagome: Sit boy.
Inuyasha: mmmrph.
Sango: Can we call attention back to me? I have to see him. Scuttle knows where he lives.
Kagura: Man, people just love to stalk others in this movie, eh?
Sesshoumaru: No. I'm not a stalker.
Sango: I'll swim up to his castle. Then Flounder will splash around to get his attention, and then with -
Inuyasha: Ha, Sebastian finally gets something right: Ariel - listen to me. The human world - it's a mess.
Kagura: He relates to the mermaids. They're both half something and half something else. Aww.
Inuyasha: Shut up. Ariel, life under the sea is better for you than anything they got up there. You're a mermaid. I'm not singing.
Kagura: Fine. -plays the 'Under The Sea' part from the movie on fast forward. With the sound on, so everyone sounds like the adults in Peanuts only high-pitched-
Everyone watching: -giggles uncontrollably-
Sango: -is disappeared!1!-
Inuyasha: Aw, gee. We've got to nail her fins to the floor. -pause- Ouch. That would hurt.
Shippou: Hey, guy with the funny name, I have a message for you from the king. It's urgent.
Inuyasha: The sea king?
Shippou: NO, the other five kings I work for. Of course the sea king. He wants to talk to you-something about Ariel.
Inuyasha: He knows, precious, he knows!
A/N: Yayy. I worked on it! Heh. I'd do review replies or something, but I'm too lazy. I hope you enjoyed this! I'd love some reviews. )
Love!