Dark Fic, One Shot, Set after the 5/30/05 episode of OLTL (Natalie suggest to John using herself as bait to catch the KCK)
Life isn't a fairytale.
Fairytale
She's like a fairytale, a princess stolen away under the dark of night locked into a broken home, cockroaches instead of mice, and strength instead of godmother. Only the scars don't fade a midnight, she hides them but he sees.
There is no wall there, but he knows there should be. Broken girls have jaded hearts, broken boys build walls thick and deep. His is, hers isn't. It's just a curtain, a veneer, and underneath it she lays like an open book, wanting, needing, craving. Too dangerous for him, she should be broken, a princess with ice for a heart. She isn't, it's not right.
He watches as she sits at her desk, typing away, her alabaster fingers pecking at the keys and he wonders if she knows what a torment she is to him. But that's right. She burns. Punishment for his sins, keep her close, remind him of his faults, remind him of who he is. John wants her husband dead, speaks to no one of a dead man sitting Statesville penitentiary. And she is his scarlet letter, close enough to touch but out of reach, placed on a pedestal like princess should be.
John watches as Natalie sweeps her hair up into a quick ponytail, the rubber band is too simple, add a bow and maybe her curves will disappear, call her kid and maybe he can see her with pink cotton candy. She is wearing more color today, vibrant blue; he likes her in black. He likes her in the shadows with him. Bend him, break her.
"I put the forensic report on your desk." Her voice is startling, reminding him that he is staring.
He nods, he should say something, maybe make sure she was okay about Evangeline jumping down her throat, explain about Antonio. But he doesn't. Broken princess shouldn't melt like snow. Part of him likes that flash of hurt in her eyes when Evangeline is near, part of him craves it. Something to tell him this agony is not his alone- that they wallow in their prisons.
"Anything else I can do for you?" Yes, of course there is. John wants to rage at her, he hates her being here, hates her. She broke his wall, why couldn't she leave well enough alone? Now the guilt consumes, his love burns, and there is nothing of him left. Evangeline is numbing; Natalie sears. And he wants her; he wants her in the shadows. Princess live in ivory towers, his steps are dark and twisting. She would fall, she would break, she would shatter into a million pieces. Better her in the tower, than in the morgue, his name written in blood across her lifeless body.
"You going somewhere?" Its casual, but nothing between them is, the air is always sparked with cracking blue electricity. He doesn't know how the world cannot see. Maybe they do, maybe a blind eye is turned. She is a princess- they let her dream. He doesn't. Sleepwalkers stumble. He won't let it be her, won't let it be because of him. Keep her locked away, hide the key.
She steps back from her desk, his stare burning her flesh, leaving holes within her soul. "Going to grab a bite to eat with Rex."
It's the way his name rolls off her tongue, too fast; too practiced- the princess takes lessons. "Just don't do anything stupid." John reminds her. Can't she see the path is dangerous?
Natalie smiles and John curses himself for his quickening pulse. "Like using myself as bait to catch the Killing Club Killer?"
There is a safety now, give a thing a name and its power deflates. He wishes he could name her. John smiles to match her own, something casual in there uncaused world. "Something like that."
Her eyes sparkle, sky blue, and he hates how they see through him yet don't comprehend. He can feel her pull the dirty thoughts from his mind, but she doesn't shriek in terror, just offers herself up. She waits for him to save her. She doesn't see that he isn't a prince, he's a wolf. He wants to devour her till there is nothing left, to leave a dead man in a cell, to forget to be kind, to take and take. He wants her to love him, and hates her for making him return her affections. He wants to make her bleed, to rip out her heart, to punish her for making him love her.
She says goodbye and leaves and still he stands.
He is not a good man.
He is a wolf.
She is a princess.
And John thinks that perhaps someone should warn Natalie that life isn't a fairytale.
The End.
A\N: This was a very different type of fic for me. I was playing around with the heavy angst and I'm still on the fence if I like it. I would really love to hear what you guys thought (good or bad).
Becca