Yes, this is my Ode to Janice, who will appear briefly in this story as 'Officer Jainska.' She was a senior at my school, the type who really would have liked an Ode in her honor. Alas, she has gone where all seniors go, college! (weeps openly)
…
It was nine o'clock aboard Prince Zuko's wrecked cruiser, much too early to be staging a battle. Zuko's hand, however, had been forced, and he didn't have much choice in the matter.
The plans were laid, the men debriefed, the records burned… Those reluctant to participate had been respectfully imprisoned. Now all that remained was Zhao.
Where are you, Commander? Zuko mused, hungrily scanning the horizon. I'm ready for you... this time.
"Prince Zuko," someone interrupted from behind. It was Iro. "You're looking like a greedy cat in a pet shop."
"The situation has become infinitely more tolerable," the prince declared, his accent tinged with anticipation. "If we succeed, Zhao will taste of true humiliation."
"And if not?"
"Then I can think of no better way to die." He said this with a fiercely profoundconviction, perturbing the old man. His nephew's hatred ran deep…
"Well I certainly can," he moped, patting his belly. "An overdose of lilac tea would have been preferable. Or perhaps this old heart could give out at the surprise ending of a very good book."
Zuko rolled his eyes,smirking out to sea. Then he saw it:a trio of glinting black ships had just rounded the point, making a beeline for the wreck. "ALL HANDS!" Zuko shouted, whipping around to face the deck. "PRESENT!"
The sailors, then loitering anxiously on deck, rushed into formation. They aligned themselves in straight rows, about two yards from the rail, in the traditional greeting for a passing allied ship.
From the angle of Zhao's cruiser, he had no intention of 'passing.' Onboard, the commander stood at the very head of his vessel, savoring the image of the prince's ruined fortune. "This is it," he said, in a deliriously happy voice that, despite its exuberance, held the threat of a snarl.
His second in command, Officer Jainska, eyed him with disdain. It certainly is, she agreed. This lunatic and his vendettas have wasted enough of my career. She made a mental note to ask for a transfer—the instant her boots touched land.
Aboard the wreck, Zuko watched a fourth ship round the point, but it seemed to be the last. Apparently, Zhao had not come with a show of force, as was expected, but a show of ease, to rub salt in the wound. This was luck Zuko hadn't counted on, but he was grateful nonetheless.
"And the curtain parts," said Iro quietly, sounding pleased. He took his place by the prince's side as the flagship pulled up beside them.
The prince studied the craft closely. As he had predicted, Zhao's personal ship, Red Lightning, had reached them first. The sleek, black-tinted vessel was famed as the swiftest ship in the navy, making up for its small size and minimal firepower. There wasn't much of a crew on board either...
Its captain, seeming to Zuko's prejudiced eyes a shabby foil to the vessel, stood confidently by the prow, facinghim with unbearable smugness. "Prince Zuko," he called up to him, sarcastically using his formal title, "I have come to accept your unconditional surrender."
"And what are the charges?" Zuko stalled, trying to look dismayed. He spoke clearly, though not quite loud enough to be well-heard. The Lightning moved closer.
As Zhao read the charges, relishing each one as a new flavor, Officer Jainska's intuition began to itch. She eyed the maroon bulge of civilians' clothing beneath the cornered soldiers' armor, and bit her lip. Their faces were almost eager, their eyes bright--not what you would expect of a defeated rabble.
Do not interrupt the dialog between Zuko and myself, Zhao had ordered that morning, already sipping a celebratory glass of sake. I want to imprint this moment untainted upon my memoryAnd so, Jainska remained silent.
The commander finished his monologue and looked up at the prince, a sneering. "Any last words as a free man…?"
Zuko looked solemn for a moment, as if truly considering his epitaph. The illusion cracked, and his face broke into a grin. "APPRICOT!" he shouted. On cue, the rows of men standing behind him leapt forward, screaming victory. Prince and company bounded over the rails, landing on Zhao's ship with shaking force. The commander gawked- was this really happening? In a blur, the rebels had hurled half the crew overboard, without even giving them a chance to think! The air was alive with their splashing, their angry, astonished screams—this wasn't how it was supposed to go!
Soon, Zhao's men had unsheathed their swords and were fighting fiercely.Some used fire-bending to sheild themselves from attack. Others pitched jets of flame into the mob, scorching friend as well as enemy.
One such blast singed Zuko's armor. Three of soldiers advanced on him, blades at the ready. Too many crave the glory my death can bring... He dropped to the floor, felling two with a sweeper kick. They were soon trampled beneath the fighting horde. The other darted towards him, shouting, "Traitor!" Zuko narrowly dodged the fall of his sword, twisted behind him, and landed a solid blow to his back. It propelled him all the way to the rail and, with a little help froma grinning enisign, he was overboard.
The prince plunged deeper into the skirmish, searching for Zhao. Oh, the satisfaction he would get from pulverizing—but he arrived too late. Five men had surrounded the commander, cutting him off from his loyal guards. Together—and with great gusto—they tossed him from the ship by the seat of his pants.
"AAAH!"
The battle was over in minutes—but they had to hurry! The other ships were moving in. Zuko quickly ordered a squad of twenty-five below deck, where they would overpower the workers in the engine room and mess hall. Before long, shouts and crashes floated up from below. "My cabbages!" someone wailed. Soon, the ship was moving under Zuko's command.
"Forward!" he shouted, shooing the helmsman to the wheel. "Take us around the nearest vessel, hurry!"
As the boat pulled out, and the last loyalist stragglers were hurled into the sea, its deposed crew drifted like so much flotsam in its wake. Zuko's crew had mercifully avoided killing by their blunt weapons, but for some, living on in shame was worse. Zhao treaded red-faced in the water, hailing his fleeing ship with an unintelligible string of curses. "I'LLGETYOUFORTHIS!MARKMYWORDS,I'LLMAKEYOUPAAY!" He accompanied his screams with angry splashing, only serving to pull him under."GARGDAMMIT!"
Officer Jainska bobbed indignantly nearby, noting his childish display with distaste. "Commander," she announced primly, through a dark sheet of wet hair, "I want a transfer."
…
ME: Well, how was it?
PEOPLE: Do you always toss your friends off ships..?