A/N: I just drew a chibi Sesshoumaru sucking his thumb and another of him
sitting down. Now I may be wrong, but I think they look damn cute:)
Anyways, I know you might not read this but hell, I'ma write it anyway:)
IMPORTANT: this chapter contains a spoiler, I apologize. Do look forward to
the next three chapters that are being worked on at the moment. I refer to
them collectively as: The Cake Trilogy:
PART 1- That Takes the Friggin' Cake PART 2- Now Take the Damn Cake back PART 3- Having Your Cake and Eating It Too
Once again: "........." means speech, *........* means thoughts.
Wise words from DiLLiRgA: "Love thy reviewers, for in their wit, thou shalt find thine inspiration." (can I get some church music goin' please)
*********
Wrapped in such a warm embrace, the author decides that it is the prefect time to address the 'mate issue,' which has long gone unnoticed. But alas it seems that the conversation was destined for a different path. Let us observe.
Sesshoumaru bent his head down a little to look at the girl in his arm(s) (A/N: whatever floats your boat). Why did he put up with her? Better yet, why did she put up with him? Difficult questions to answer, these were.
"Rin."
"Hmm. Yes?"
"Why is it that you do not fear me and stay?"
*Because I love you, you overgrown puppy.* "Why do you ask Sesshoumaru- sama?"
*Foolish human...I love you. That is why.* "......"
"Who knows Sesshoumaru-sama..." And with that they settled into a comfortable silence once more. Mind you, the hugging/clinging (depending on how you looked at it) remained quite in tact. And all was peaceful. That is, until...
*Rin. Guess who.
I wouldn't want to strain myself
Well why didn't you say so! Tis me, your better half.
Ahem. That's arguable...sooo... you wanted what?
Global domination...but that's beside the point...
Sigh... I must be possessed.
Possessed is such an ugly word...think of it as being GIFTED.
Ah yes gifted...what was the name of that monk who traveled with Inuyasha? His powers were amazing, or so I had heard. Maybe I can get him to chug a few scrolls at me so that I can get rid of my 'gift.'
Huh.such cruel words from such a simple mind.
Takes one to know one.
Enough! Let's discuss the current situation shall we?
Now? Can't you see that I'm rather...busy?!
Ok ok don't get your kimono in a bundle! I'm only teasing. I just dropped by to remind you that I'm not going -anywhere.- Take care and remember: I'm watching your every move!!! Ja!*
And with that she was gone. Again. To return at a later and hopefully more inopportune time. But alas, for Rin was in a state of confuzzlement. *Seriously,* she thought, *I gotta find a way to get rid of her. What if...what if...oh no...what if several hundred years from now, when Sesshoumaru confesses his love to me and we start to do -ahem- 'mately things,' she shows up in the middle of it?!!! (A/N: thanx Greater-Beast Xellas!;) It's, it's...it's unthinkable is what it is! Not to mention downright creepy. Shudder...Wait a minute... How long am I planning on living anyway? I wonder if this whole mating thing means that...Ohhh f*ck a duck... I know that's what it is... I'm bound to him until he dies. Great, when he goes down he's damn intent on taking me with him. Why that son of a b*tch...literally...that's so......romantic:) He CAN do something right once in a while. I wonder how old he really is? Hmm...*
"Sesshoumaru-sama...ahh...can I ask you something?" *They say there's no time like the present.*
".........." *This had better not have anything to do with the ornament I carry on my shoulder.*
*I'm taking that as a yes.* "Just how old ARE you?"
"Old enough" *I highly doubt you wish to know. I wish that I did not.*
*Huh...my fault for expecting a normal answer.* And now it was time to ask a question that she had been dying to ask for a good oh, 10 years. About damn time. "Ok...um...next question: that time when Kagura kidnapped me, why did you save me?" *Especially when I have been informed by an anonymous source- cough... Jaken...cough cough- that you couldn't be bothered to save a human girl...this better be good.*
*How dare you question my judgment.* "Would you have rather I left you with her? Perhaps you would have been happier with that filthy human boy." *Hmm...interesting. She has developed a rather impressive growl...*
*Are you dissing Kohaku!? Why I oudda...* "You leave Kohaku out of this! I want a real answer, why did you save me!?" *One wrong word and not even Buddha will be able to save you.*
"I did not wish to let Naraku have his way...especially with something of mine."
*Ok, I can work with that sentence...hmmm.* "Grrrrr...someTHING? So I'm a -thing- now? Is that ALL?"
".........." *Shit. Damn it all...wrong answer again. Is it possible that I, Sesshoumaru, am cursed?*
!!!DUN DUN DUN!!! Ladies and gentlemen, I humbly present to you, someone who needs no real introduction...drum roll please........and enter upon the scene: Sesshoumaru's very own......... VOICE!!
*Yes darling I do believe you are...
! Who are you that you dare enter this Sesshoumaru's thoughts?
Cut the crap darling. Let's just say that I'm your...better half...think of me as a conscience- of sorts.
Indeed. Would you care to explain why you are female? (A/N: Kukuku:) welcome to Sesshoumaru's personal hell:) What? Gotta love this DiLLiRgA's insanity, or as I like to call it: mutlidimensional thinking).
Some questions are better left unanswered honey. Now, I see that you are having some problems with your little female friend.
This is none of your concern. Now leave this Sesshoumaru's head at once.
I'm afraid I can't do that sweetie. You see, I don't take orders...from ANYONE. And I come and go as I please. Hmmm, remind you of someone? (A/N:Kukuku)*
Rin glared at him. He didn't seem to be listening. What the hell was wrong with this picture? There was such a small gap between them that it was to be taken advantage of. Rin carefully lifted her hand and started knocking on his head.
"Helloooo. Is there anyone up there?"
Of course, this displeased our lord, snapping him back into the world of the living. "What do you think you are doing?"
Just checking to see if you're understanding or at least listening to what I'm saying."
But before she had even finished her sentence, Sesshoumaru's 'significant other' made a comeback. As if she'd gone anywhere.
*Darling, I think she just wants a little love and attention.
Refrain from speaking if not spoken to.
My my, aren't we getting wittier by the minute!*
"What do you want from me wench!" *No... In the name of the Western Lands, I know that I, the great Sesshoumaru, did not speak that out loud.* Oh but you did my dear...
"What!" Rin yelled, deeply hurt. It seems that Sesshoumaru is one of those rare, -special- people who can manage to insult/anger/hurt/confuse/stun a person all at once, with just one sentence. Why on earth was he acting this way? Oh but if only you knew child. But she didn't, so she did what any normal, emotionally haywire female would do: she started sniffing... and then sniffing some more... and then we all know where this is going, don't we. Rhetorical question alert.
Sesshoumaru refrained from any change in his facial features. Hey, it took him centuries to perfect that so stop the hating. But his insides were boiling. Thus his 'better half' decided to chime in once again.
*Nice going fleabag. I hate it when she does that! Now what're you gonna do?
Silence. I will deal with you in due time.
How dare you talk to I, your conscience, that way?*
"Rin, cease your crying this instant."
"I...I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU, HATE YOU, HATE YOU!" *Yeah right, like hell I do...*
"Your heat would suggest otherwise."
*HUH? Sheesh am I really that obvious?* "H-h, HENTAI! How dare you! Let go of me! Humph." And she's off again. Where to, even this author cannot say... but not to worry, she'll be back.
Let's switch back to Sesshoumaru's little ah, situation, shall we say?
*Well, I must say, you certainly have a way with women!
You begin to annoy me. You may leave now.
Please. Don't insult me and my authority.
Grrrrrr. I grow tired of this. What is it that you wanted!
Now is that a question or a command, 'cause you know I don't work well with commands...
Why you bas-
Ok ok! Calm yourself... This was merely a welcome visit. You have nothing to fear... as of yet.
Perhaps you would care to explain just why I, Sesshoumaru-
Honey, cut that out, I know who you are.
Silence! You dare interrupt I, Sessh-
I said stop that! My, but you're a persistent one. We shall just have to deal with that later. But now is not the time. A word of advice...several actually: perhaps you had better let your cute companion cool off before you attempt some more verbal charm, eh? I will leave you at that... don't forget that I, your conscience, will be watching!*
Well.
-That- was certainly unexpected.
I'll give everyone a chance to catch their breaths. What just happened? ?_?
**********
Rin swam downstairs amidst an ocean of tears. Damn that frustrating youkai. He had no idea how insufferable he could be without even trying. What to do?? Little did she know that Jaken was observing her as she wallowed in her misery... now would be the perfect time for what he had in mind. Yes, everyone, believe it or not, he does have a mind. Scary...
"Rin- "
"KYAAA!." Can you tell she was startled? "Oh. It's only you."
"Stupid brat! What do you mean 'only you!'"
"What do you want? I'm busy being miserable at the moment."
*How convenient...kukuku.* "Listen here you, I have an idea that might be.mutually beneficial." *I shall have my revenge for all that bashing, Rin...Rest assured though, for there will be no PERMANENT damage...hopefully...hihihihi.*
"Mutually beneficial...I...you...huh?? *I dun get it. What's in it for you frog face?*
"Rin, make an attempt to put aside your unintelligence for five minutes." *Though I know that I ask the impossible. *
"Why you little- alright! Out with it! You're just lucky that I'm curious" *And hey, it's not like I can't beat the crap out of you when I find out what you're up to...ahem: kukuku.*
"What would you say if I were to inform you that I have a plan which will enable you to obtain our great lord Sesshoumaru's undying affection?"
"Huh?? Say that again?"
" *Incomprehensible muttering* Do you want him to love or not?!"
"What's it to you?" she asked getting suspicious...and for damn good reason too.
"Let's just say that I'm in a good mood."
*Uh huh, yeah, right...honestly how dumb do I look? Don't answer that.* "You realize that I don't believe you... but if you want to tell me your little 'plan' then you've got my complete attention." *Who knows, you might actually have something useful to say for once.*
"Good. Now listen closely..."
*****************
A/N: hehehe:) Yeah yeah don't complain to me about cliffhangers, you all do it to me in your stories all the time... Revenge is a bitch:) Full pun intended. The Cake Trilogy is nigh at hand! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed; if you would like a personal reply to your review or something, let me know, otherwise just know that I 'v read them all and you have my love. You people are -damn- funny. By the way, this story is friggin brutal to my spellcheck.
PART 1- That Takes the Friggin' Cake PART 2- Now Take the Damn Cake back PART 3- Having Your Cake and Eating It Too
Once again: "........." means speech, *........* means thoughts.
Wise words from DiLLiRgA: "Love thy reviewers, for in their wit, thou shalt find thine inspiration." (can I get some church music goin' please)
*********
Wrapped in such a warm embrace, the author decides that it is the prefect time to address the 'mate issue,' which has long gone unnoticed. But alas it seems that the conversation was destined for a different path. Let us observe.
Sesshoumaru bent his head down a little to look at the girl in his arm(s) (A/N: whatever floats your boat). Why did he put up with her? Better yet, why did she put up with him? Difficult questions to answer, these were.
"Rin."
"Hmm. Yes?"
"Why is it that you do not fear me and stay?"
*Because I love you, you overgrown puppy.* "Why do you ask Sesshoumaru- sama?"
*Foolish human...I love you. That is why.* "......"
"Who knows Sesshoumaru-sama..." And with that they settled into a comfortable silence once more. Mind you, the hugging/clinging (depending on how you looked at it) remained quite in tact. And all was peaceful. That is, until...
*Rin. Guess who.
I wouldn't want to strain myself
Well why didn't you say so! Tis me, your better half.
Ahem. That's arguable...sooo... you wanted what?
Global domination...but that's beside the point...
Sigh... I must be possessed.
Possessed is such an ugly word...think of it as being GIFTED.
Ah yes gifted...what was the name of that monk who traveled with Inuyasha? His powers were amazing, or so I had heard. Maybe I can get him to chug a few scrolls at me so that I can get rid of my 'gift.'
Huh.such cruel words from such a simple mind.
Takes one to know one.
Enough! Let's discuss the current situation shall we?
Now? Can't you see that I'm rather...busy?!
Ok ok don't get your kimono in a bundle! I'm only teasing. I just dropped by to remind you that I'm not going -anywhere.- Take care and remember: I'm watching your every move!!! Ja!*
And with that she was gone. Again. To return at a later and hopefully more inopportune time. But alas, for Rin was in a state of confuzzlement. *Seriously,* she thought, *I gotta find a way to get rid of her. What if...what if...oh no...what if several hundred years from now, when Sesshoumaru confesses his love to me and we start to do -ahem- 'mately things,' she shows up in the middle of it?!!! (A/N: thanx Greater-Beast Xellas!;) It's, it's...it's unthinkable is what it is! Not to mention downright creepy. Shudder...Wait a minute... How long am I planning on living anyway? I wonder if this whole mating thing means that...Ohhh f*ck a duck... I know that's what it is... I'm bound to him until he dies. Great, when he goes down he's damn intent on taking me with him. Why that son of a b*tch...literally...that's so......romantic:) He CAN do something right once in a while. I wonder how old he really is? Hmm...*
"Sesshoumaru-sama...ahh...can I ask you something?" *They say there's no time like the present.*
".........." *This had better not have anything to do with the ornament I carry on my shoulder.*
*I'm taking that as a yes.* "Just how old ARE you?"
"Old enough" *I highly doubt you wish to know. I wish that I did not.*
*Huh...my fault for expecting a normal answer.* And now it was time to ask a question that she had been dying to ask for a good oh, 10 years. About damn time. "Ok...um...next question: that time when Kagura kidnapped me, why did you save me?" *Especially when I have been informed by an anonymous source- cough... Jaken...cough cough- that you couldn't be bothered to save a human girl...this better be good.*
*How dare you question my judgment.* "Would you have rather I left you with her? Perhaps you would have been happier with that filthy human boy." *Hmm...interesting. She has developed a rather impressive growl...*
*Are you dissing Kohaku!? Why I oudda...* "You leave Kohaku out of this! I want a real answer, why did you save me!?" *One wrong word and not even Buddha will be able to save you.*
"I did not wish to let Naraku have his way...especially with something of mine."
*Ok, I can work with that sentence...hmmm.* "Grrrrr...someTHING? So I'm a -thing- now? Is that ALL?"
".........." *Shit. Damn it all...wrong answer again. Is it possible that I, Sesshoumaru, am cursed?*
!!!DUN DUN DUN!!! Ladies and gentlemen, I humbly present to you, someone who needs no real introduction...drum roll please........and enter upon the scene: Sesshoumaru's very own......... VOICE!!
*Yes darling I do believe you are...
! Who are you that you dare enter this Sesshoumaru's thoughts?
Cut the crap darling. Let's just say that I'm your...better half...think of me as a conscience- of sorts.
Indeed. Would you care to explain why you are female? (A/N: Kukuku:) welcome to Sesshoumaru's personal hell:) What? Gotta love this DiLLiRgA's insanity, or as I like to call it: mutlidimensional thinking).
Some questions are better left unanswered honey. Now, I see that you are having some problems with your little female friend.
This is none of your concern. Now leave this Sesshoumaru's head at once.
I'm afraid I can't do that sweetie. You see, I don't take orders...from ANYONE. And I come and go as I please. Hmmm, remind you of someone? (A/N:Kukuku)*
Rin glared at him. He didn't seem to be listening. What the hell was wrong with this picture? There was such a small gap between them that it was to be taken advantage of. Rin carefully lifted her hand and started knocking on his head.
"Helloooo. Is there anyone up there?"
Of course, this displeased our lord, snapping him back into the world of the living. "What do you think you are doing?"
Just checking to see if you're understanding or at least listening to what I'm saying."
But before she had even finished her sentence, Sesshoumaru's 'significant other' made a comeback. As if she'd gone anywhere.
*Darling, I think she just wants a little love and attention.
Refrain from speaking if not spoken to.
My my, aren't we getting wittier by the minute!*
"What do you want from me wench!" *No... In the name of the Western Lands, I know that I, the great Sesshoumaru, did not speak that out loud.* Oh but you did my dear...
"What!" Rin yelled, deeply hurt. It seems that Sesshoumaru is one of those rare, -special- people who can manage to insult/anger/hurt/confuse/stun a person all at once, with just one sentence. Why on earth was he acting this way? Oh but if only you knew child. But she didn't, so she did what any normal, emotionally haywire female would do: she started sniffing... and then sniffing some more... and then we all know where this is going, don't we. Rhetorical question alert.
Sesshoumaru refrained from any change in his facial features. Hey, it took him centuries to perfect that so stop the hating. But his insides were boiling. Thus his 'better half' decided to chime in once again.
*Nice going fleabag. I hate it when she does that! Now what're you gonna do?
Silence. I will deal with you in due time.
How dare you talk to I, your conscience, that way?*
"Rin, cease your crying this instant."
"I...I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU, HATE YOU, HATE YOU!" *Yeah right, like hell I do...*
"Your heat would suggest otherwise."
*HUH? Sheesh am I really that obvious?* "H-h, HENTAI! How dare you! Let go of me! Humph." And she's off again. Where to, even this author cannot say... but not to worry, she'll be back.
Let's switch back to Sesshoumaru's little ah, situation, shall we say?
*Well, I must say, you certainly have a way with women!
You begin to annoy me. You may leave now.
Please. Don't insult me and my authority.
Grrrrrr. I grow tired of this. What is it that you wanted!
Now is that a question or a command, 'cause you know I don't work well with commands...
Why you bas-
Ok ok! Calm yourself... This was merely a welcome visit. You have nothing to fear... as of yet.
Perhaps you would care to explain just why I, Sesshoumaru-
Honey, cut that out, I know who you are.
Silence! You dare interrupt I, Sessh-
I said stop that! My, but you're a persistent one. We shall just have to deal with that later. But now is not the time. A word of advice...several actually: perhaps you had better let your cute companion cool off before you attempt some more verbal charm, eh? I will leave you at that... don't forget that I, your conscience, will be watching!*
Well.
-That- was certainly unexpected.
I'll give everyone a chance to catch their breaths. What just happened? ?_?
**********
Rin swam downstairs amidst an ocean of tears. Damn that frustrating youkai. He had no idea how insufferable he could be without even trying. What to do?? Little did she know that Jaken was observing her as she wallowed in her misery... now would be the perfect time for what he had in mind. Yes, everyone, believe it or not, he does have a mind. Scary...
"Rin- "
"KYAAA!." Can you tell she was startled? "Oh. It's only you."
"Stupid brat! What do you mean 'only you!'"
"What do you want? I'm busy being miserable at the moment."
*How convenient...kukuku.* "Listen here you, I have an idea that might be.mutually beneficial." *I shall have my revenge for all that bashing, Rin...Rest assured though, for there will be no PERMANENT damage...hopefully...hihihihi.*
"Mutually beneficial...I...you...huh?? *I dun get it. What's in it for you frog face?*
"Rin, make an attempt to put aside your unintelligence for five minutes." *Though I know that I ask the impossible. *
"Why you little- alright! Out with it! You're just lucky that I'm curious" *And hey, it's not like I can't beat the crap out of you when I find out what you're up to...ahem: kukuku.*
"What would you say if I were to inform you that I have a plan which will enable you to obtain our great lord Sesshoumaru's undying affection?"
"Huh?? Say that again?"
" *Incomprehensible muttering* Do you want him to love or not?!"
"What's it to you?" she asked getting suspicious...and for damn good reason too.
"Let's just say that I'm in a good mood."
*Uh huh, yeah, right...honestly how dumb do I look? Don't answer that.* "You realize that I don't believe you... but if you want to tell me your little 'plan' then you've got my complete attention." *Who knows, you might actually have something useful to say for once.*
"Good. Now listen closely..."
*****************
A/N: hehehe:) Yeah yeah don't complain to me about cliffhangers, you all do it to me in your stories all the time... Revenge is a bitch:) Full pun intended. The Cake Trilogy is nigh at hand! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed; if you would like a personal reply to your review or something, let me know, otherwise just know that I 'v read them all and you have my love. You people are -damn- funny. By the way, this story is friggin brutal to my spellcheck.