A/N: Ok, so I was re-reading the last chapter and I'm at the part where
it's SUPPOSED to say "ALL grew silent," and yet, to my horror, I read "AL
grew silent." So I'm thinking to myself: who the heck's Al? Now are we
talkin' Gore, Pacino... Bundy perhaps? Sigh... Well, whoever you are Al,
shut the hell up. ^_^ What do we live for if not to make fun of ourselves?
No, I'm not really lookin' for an answer. But rest assured that my spell-
check and I are gonna have words... As always, full pun intended. Oh I'm
not through yet, there's another A/N at the end of the chapter. Ta-ta :)
****************
PART 2- Now Take the Damn Cake Back Otherwise Known As: What the Hell's Wrong With Bein' Human?
With full sarcasm, I implore the faithful audience to never forget that, despite what the general consensus may wrongly believe, demons in fact DO NOT take well to turning human. No, no, don't argue with me, they really don't. To turn towards a more specific example, I present to you a very, very agitated ex-demon lord and his very, very chemically-imbalanced mate- but-not-really. Have I lost you yet? Good. There seems to be a lot of losing going around... losing of powers... losing of minds... but who's counting, right? Right, you keep telling yourselves that...
"Rin, you may begin explaining." As always, be he demon or human, Sesshoumaru-sama is not one to waste words.
*Eh? Explain what you...you, stupid human! If I knew what, do you honestly think I'd be so...so... -friendly- now!?*
Seeing the angered look on her face he added: "And refrain from making any pathetic human jokes and/or comments for I assure you that this is -not- a permanent change."
Sesshoumaru was indeed looking forward to the moment when he would regain his powers. The first thing on his agenda was definitely to resurrect Jaken and then kill him again... then resurrect him again... then kill him once more... this action would be repeated for, well, let's just say until cows determined a logical reason to come home, pigs trained in aeronautics, the chicken and the egg stopped arguing over hereditary dominance and other miscellaneous farm-animals took part in life's little mysteries. But alas for we are not on a farm... 'tis more like a zoo.
"I can't explain anything Sesshoumaru-sama because I'm as much a victim here as you are. I have no idea why it turned out this way!" *And for goodness' sake keep your distance unless you want me to jump you.* There, there my poor child. Just breathe.
*Hmmm yes, you are -such- a victim aren't you, you poor thing.
Buzz off... who invited you anyway? I've got much bigger problems to deal with now, in case you haven't noticed.
Oh I've noticed honey, don't you worry... my, my but he does make a good human doesn't he...
Ok... I think that drink's hit you harder than it has me... when I said 'bigger problems' I was referring to myself, not him.
So what's the plan?
Excuse me? You're actually planning on helping me?
Why, of course not!
Then why-
You idiot, I just want to know your theories as to how you'll be solving these problems so that I can crush them with one swift blow.
!! GRRRR. Just know this- if I go down, you're comin' aaaaall the way down with me!!
I hope that that wasn't meant to be an offer I couldn't refuse...
Sigh...
There, there... just keep telling yourself that you're gifted...
Will it make you go away?
Does it ever?
-Groan- Oh no...
Oh yes...:)*
Talking to oneself has become such a 'special' pastime... Shall we join Sesshoumaru in his futile attempts to secure his sanity? Indeed this problem needs to be settled, one voice at a time... Yet it seems that the voices... are winning?
*I think we look good as a human.
I do not recall asking for your input.
And who do you think you're bossing around?
Quiet. Curse these humans and their weaknesses... I am getting a headache.
Hehehe...
You are responsible for this?
Oh you bet darling... do make sure you don't provoke me or a headache will be the least of your worries...
Bitch.
I was...when we were demon, of course. Yet here we are! Human and looking good doing it! Say, how -do- you plan on fixing this?
If I were granted a moment's SILENCE then perhaps I could concentrate on a solution.
Watch that attitude you stinkin' mortal...hehehe
You- *
"Sesshoumaru-sama??"
"Rin, this problem is to be dealt with immediately." *And I mean NOW.*
*Yeah, I hear that one!* "But how Sesshoumaru-sama?? We have to find the maker of that elixir if we want a cure and that could be anybody! And I can't exactly go outside in this condition- I'll be eaten up!" *Afterwards of course...gulp...* "I hate to say it but in the state that you're in, I could probably defend myself just as well as you could." Ouch. Now that one hit a little below the armor.
"You dare call me weak! You forget yourself, human."
Now I don't know how many straws there were, but that was definitely the last one... Gosh... these people are just beggin' for fights.
*I'ma forget -you- in a minute dog-boy.* "Oh I dare alright! Look at you! I bet you couldn't even beat -me- in a fight. And don't you dare make me name the person who's responsible for us being -stuck- this way!" They came nose to nose at that one. Of course, at this point in time, Rin's snarl was much more impressive. She's had practice:)
"Remind me, child, who it was that served us those drinks in the first place. Furthermore, if you wish to fight, I will be more than happy to oblige you. Just bear in mind that Tenseiga is no longer an option." They remained nose-to-nose growling/snarling at one another. So much love goin' on in this room. Kinda makes me wonder why we can't just all... get along. (DiLLiRgA transforms into a hippie and tries to keep the peace...kukuku)
But all this nose-to-nose, 'closeness' action, was starting to take its toll on our little minion. She couldn't make up her mind whether to jump him or thwunk some r-e-s-p-e-c-t into him. And we all know that she packs quite a punch (A/N: I realize that at this point half of the audience wishes for them to, how shall I put it, "get it on" whilst the other half wishes for the more violent kind of action. You are at my mercy. Learn to love it.)
"And just -what-, may I ask, is so bad about being a human?"
"You may ask." *Good luck making this Sesshoumaru answer.*
"Grrrr... If you think I'm scared of you then you'd better think again mister! You're just getting your tail in a knot because you've realized that being human isn't as bad as you thought it would be." Triumphantly, she smirked and awaited the breaking of furniture. Isn't she just a little ray of sunshine? :)
"You are absolutely right." *Stare in awe as this Sesshoumaru utilized his reverse-psychology skills.*
"!! Eh?!" *What the-*
*Works like a charm.* "It's wretchedness is far beyond even this Sesshoumaru's comprehension." He turned around and placed his swords somewhere where he wouldn't be tempted to break them...on Rin's head... and went to lay on the bed. He closed his eyes. Finally... some blissful peace and quiet... and its bliss lasted for all of ten seconds...
Rin crouched down at the side of the bed, put her elbows on his stomach and her chin in her hands. (A/N: work with me here, it's a low bed.) Ignoring her is never a good way to gain a girl's affections. Not like he actually concerned himself with that at the moment...
*This Sesshoumaru admits defeat... *
"Sesshoumaru-sama?"
"......"
"Let's give it some time... I mean, it can't get any worse, can it?" Child...you have nooo idea. But don't feel alone, 'cause neither does the audience:)
This author can safely say that for the first time in his life, the Great Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, (Fluffy-sama if you're nasty:), felt like crying. He made sure to keep his damn eyes closed. What could he do? He wasn't stupid enough to risk Rin's life in the outside world and he sure wasn't going to leave her in the house/castle/whatever by herself... damn male servants running around all over the place. He would just have to wait a while for the drink to get out of his system. Rin didn't fail to notice how upset he was. Of course he would be... he'd probably rather give up his...ehem...identity as a male, than be stuck like this. She began to stroke his hair. She couldn't help it; he looked... fascinating.
Feeling a rather determined spark of courage go through her, she leaned forward and kissed his forehead. *Hot. It's very, VERY hot in here. I shouldn't have done that... That was wrong!.. But a little wrong is ok, right?...* Of course, self-scolding only goes so far... or until a certain ex-demon lord pulls you towards his chest and holds you in his somewhat- strong and rather -human- embrace. It is at this point that all logic, the non-existent kind, hurls itself out the window.
So it is that our dear Sesshoumaru now faced an undetermined amount of time as a human until he would start changing back to his old self. Or so one would be lead to think:) Now, you must all realize yet another brutal fact of life: one doesn't simply just poof back into a demon. Of course not:) There are certain...stages, shall we say... that must be visited first. For in this story, where there is a misfortune to be had, guess what, it will inevitably be had. Do not fear the light bulb that glows atop this author's head my faithful readers, for I guarantee that our dear Sesshoumaru-sama is not fated to stay human for long.
"Sesshoumaru-sama..."
"Yes..."
"I...I..." she whispered, then slowly got out of his embrace to look him in the face (as if she could see anything in that darkness). This was it... she was ready to tell him... This was...huh? She tilted her head to the side a bit and squinted. "I... I... Either I'm seeing things or you look... different..."
Sesshoumaru sat up as the strangest sensation rushed through him. Indeed it was the first batch of demonic power that began to surge through his body. Rin simply watched in awe. But alas, we need not be mathematicians to calculate the rest, for this elixir seems to be completely re-shaping all established theories of human evolution. (A/N: Don't make me get technical on your asses:) It couldn't be prevented, it wasn't expected... and it sure as Hell wasn't Sesshoumaru's day...
Rin seemed to have developed a love for staring, though, 'cause these days it seems that that's all she's been doing. At this point, Sesshoumaru didn't even want to know what he'd turned into...
"K-...Kawaiiii..." she whispered. It was just too adorable. Without a second thought (or a first one, for that matter) she quickly came even closer to him (I leave room for your refined imaginations...) and started rubbing the soft ears that had now formed on top of his head, amidst a sea of half-black/half-white hair. Would Inu-Yasha be proud? Indeed he would. For let's just say that Sesshoumaru also made one kick-ass hanyou... Kukuku...
To Be Consoled...
**************
A/N: Do you guys want a spoiler? I feel like giving a spoiler... Ahem: just because Sesshoumaru didn't stay human for a long duration doesn't mean that you should expect the same thing this time around... hehehe... just think of how long poor Inu-Yasha has to wait...hehehe... 'Month' is such a strong word... which is why I like to use it:) You know what really makes my day? It's when people tell me that I've made -their- day with my story... I write this story with the hope that it will make you all smile. If I've done that, then my mission is accomplished and I'm happy. I would love to thank all of you personally but I regret to announce that I neither have the patience or the sanity to perform such a task. I thank you from the bottom of my demonic little heart for the reviews and by all means, if you would like a personal response, just ask and I'll write to you. Other than that, just know that I'm appreciative to no end and sometime in the distant future when this story has come to an end, I'll respond to every friggin' review... and then you all can go on a search for Tenseiga 'cause that's the only my butt is coming back:)
****************
PART 2- Now Take the Damn Cake Back Otherwise Known As: What the Hell's Wrong With Bein' Human?
With full sarcasm, I implore the faithful audience to never forget that, despite what the general consensus may wrongly believe, demons in fact DO NOT take well to turning human. No, no, don't argue with me, they really don't. To turn towards a more specific example, I present to you a very, very agitated ex-demon lord and his very, very chemically-imbalanced mate- but-not-really. Have I lost you yet? Good. There seems to be a lot of losing going around... losing of powers... losing of minds... but who's counting, right? Right, you keep telling yourselves that...
"Rin, you may begin explaining." As always, be he demon or human, Sesshoumaru-sama is not one to waste words.
*Eh? Explain what you...you, stupid human! If I knew what, do you honestly think I'd be so...so... -friendly- now!?*
Seeing the angered look on her face he added: "And refrain from making any pathetic human jokes and/or comments for I assure you that this is -not- a permanent change."
Sesshoumaru was indeed looking forward to the moment when he would regain his powers. The first thing on his agenda was definitely to resurrect Jaken and then kill him again... then resurrect him again... then kill him once more... this action would be repeated for, well, let's just say until cows determined a logical reason to come home, pigs trained in aeronautics, the chicken and the egg stopped arguing over hereditary dominance and other miscellaneous farm-animals took part in life's little mysteries. But alas for we are not on a farm... 'tis more like a zoo.
"I can't explain anything Sesshoumaru-sama because I'm as much a victim here as you are. I have no idea why it turned out this way!" *And for goodness' sake keep your distance unless you want me to jump you.* There, there my poor child. Just breathe.
*Hmmm yes, you are -such- a victim aren't you, you poor thing.
Buzz off... who invited you anyway? I've got much bigger problems to deal with now, in case you haven't noticed.
Oh I've noticed honey, don't you worry... my, my but he does make a good human doesn't he...
Ok... I think that drink's hit you harder than it has me... when I said 'bigger problems' I was referring to myself, not him.
So what's the plan?
Excuse me? You're actually planning on helping me?
Why, of course not!
Then why-
You idiot, I just want to know your theories as to how you'll be solving these problems so that I can crush them with one swift blow.
!! GRRRR. Just know this- if I go down, you're comin' aaaaall the way down with me!!
I hope that that wasn't meant to be an offer I couldn't refuse...
Sigh...
There, there... just keep telling yourself that you're gifted...
Will it make you go away?
Does it ever?
-Groan- Oh no...
Oh yes...:)*
Talking to oneself has become such a 'special' pastime... Shall we join Sesshoumaru in his futile attempts to secure his sanity? Indeed this problem needs to be settled, one voice at a time... Yet it seems that the voices... are winning?
*I think we look good as a human.
I do not recall asking for your input.
And who do you think you're bossing around?
Quiet. Curse these humans and their weaknesses... I am getting a headache.
Hehehe...
You are responsible for this?
Oh you bet darling... do make sure you don't provoke me or a headache will be the least of your worries...
Bitch.
I was...when we were demon, of course. Yet here we are! Human and looking good doing it! Say, how -do- you plan on fixing this?
If I were granted a moment's SILENCE then perhaps I could concentrate on a solution.
Watch that attitude you stinkin' mortal...hehehe
You- *
"Sesshoumaru-sama??"
"Rin, this problem is to be dealt with immediately." *And I mean NOW.*
*Yeah, I hear that one!* "But how Sesshoumaru-sama?? We have to find the maker of that elixir if we want a cure and that could be anybody! And I can't exactly go outside in this condition- I'll be eaten up!" *Afterwards of course...gulp...* "I hate to say it but in the state that you're in, I could probably defend myself just as well as you could." Ouch. Now that one hit a little below the armor.
"You dare call me weak! You forget yourself, human."
Now I don't know how many straws there were, but that was definitely the last one... Gosh... these people are just beggin' for fights.
*I'ma forget -you- in a minute dog-boy.* "Oh I dare alright! Look at you! I bet you couldn't even beat -me- in a fight. And don't you dare make me name the person who's responsible for us being -stuck- this way!" They came nose to nose at that one. Of course, at this point in time, Rin's snarl was much more impressive. She's had practice:)
"Remind me, child, who it was that served us those drinks in the first place. Furthermore, if you wish to fight, I will be more than happy to oblige you. Just bear in mind that Tenseiga is no longer an option." They remained nose-to-nose growling/snarling at one another. So much love goin' on in this room. Kinda makes me wonder why we can't just all... get along. (DiLLiRgA transforms into a hippie and tries to keep the peace...kukuku)
But all this nose-to-nose, 'closeness' action, was starting to take its toll on our little minion. She couldn't make up her mind whether to jump him or thwunk some r-e-s-p-e-c-t into him. And we all know that she packs quite a punch (A/N: I realize that at this point half of the audience wishes for them to, how shall I put it, "get it on" whilst the other half wishes for the more violent kind of action. You are at my mercy. Learn to love it.)
"And just -what-, may I ask, is so bad about being a human?"
"You may ask." *Good luck making this Sesshoumaru answer.*
"Grrrr... If you think I'm scared of you then you'd better think again mister! You're just getting your tail in a knot because you've realized that being human isn't as bad as you thought it would be." Triumphantly, she smirked and awaited the breaking of furniture. Isn't she just a little ray of sunshine? :)
"You are absolutely right." *Stare in awe as this Sesshoumaru utilized his reverse-psychology skills.*
"!! Eh?!" *What the-*
*Works like a charm.* "It's wretchedness is far beyond even this Sesshoumaru's comprehension." He turned around and placed his swords somewhere where he wouldn't be tempted to break them...on Rin's head... and went to lay on the bed. He closed his eyes. Finally... some blissful peace and quiet... and its bliss lasted for all of ten seconds...
Rin crouched down at the side of the bed, put her elbows on his stomach and her chin in her hands. (A/N: work with me here, it's a low bed.) Ignoring her is never a good way to gain a girl's affections. Not like he actually concerned himself with that at the moment...
*This Sesshoumaru admits defeat... *
"Sesshoumaru-sama?"
"......"
"Let's give it some time... I mean, it can't get any worse, can it?" Child...you have nooo idea. But don't feel alone, 'cause neither does the audience:)
This author can safely say that for the first time in his life, the Great Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, (Fluffy-sama if you're nasty:), felt like crying. He made sure to keep his damn eyes closed. What could he do? He wasn't stupid enough to risk Rin's life in the outside world and he sure wasn't going to leave her in the house/castle/whatever by herself... damn male servants running around all over the place. He would just have to wait a while for the drink to get out of his system. Rin didn't fail to notice how upset he was. Of course he would be... he'd probably rather give up his...ehem...identity as a male, than be stuck like this. She began to stroke his hair. She couldn't help it; he looked... fascinating.
Feeling a rather determined spark of courage go through her, she leaned forward and kissed his forehead. *Hot. It's very, VERY hot in here. I shouldn't have done that... That was wrong!.. But a little wrong is ok, right?...* Of course, self-scolding only goes so far... or until a certain ex-demon lord pulls you towards his chest and holds you in his somewhat- strong and rather -human- embrace. It is at this point that all logic, the non-existent kind, hurls itself out the window.
So it is that our dear Sesshoumaru now faced an undetermined amount of time as a human until he would start changing back to his old self. Or so one would be lead to think:) Now, you must all realize yet another brutal fact of life: one doesn't simply just poof back into a demon. Of course not:) There are certain...stages, shall we say... that must be visited first. For in this story, where there is a misfortune to be had, guess what, it will inevitably be had. Do not fear the light bulb that glows atop this author's head my faithful readers, for I guarantee that our dear Sesshoumaru-sama is not fated to stay human for long.
"Sesshoumaru-sama..."
"Yes..."
"I...I..." she whispered, then slowly got out of his embrace to look him in the face (as if she could see anything in that darkness). This was it... she was ready to tell him... This was...huh? She tilted her head to the side a bit and squinted. "I... I... Either I'm seeing things or you look... different..."
Sesshoumaru sat up as the strangest sensation rushed through him. Indeed it was the first batch of demonic power that began to surge through his body. Rin simply watched in awe. But alas, we need not be mathematicians to calculate the rest, for this elixir seems to be completely re-shaping all established theories of human evolution. (A/N: Don't make me get technical on your asses:) It couldn't be prevented, it wasn't expected... and it sure as Hell wasn't Sesshoumaru's day...
Rin seemed to have developed a love for staring, though, 'cause these days it seems that that's all she's been doing. At this point, Sesshoumaru didn't even want to know what he'd turned into...
"K-...Kawaiiii..." she whispered. It was just too adorable. Without a second thought (or a first one, for that matter) she quickly came even closer to him (I leave room for your refined imaginations...) and started rubbing the soft ears that had now formed on top of his head, amidst a sea of half-black/half-white hair. Would Inu-Yasha be proud? Indeed he would. For let's just say that Sesshoumaru also made one kick-ass hanyou... Kukuku...
To Be Consoled...
**************
A/N: Do you guys want a spoiler? I feel like giving a spoiler... Ahem: just because Sesshoumaru didn't stay human for a long duration doesn't mean that you should expect the same thing this time around... hehehe... just think of how long poor Inu-Yasha has to wait...hehehe... 'Month' is such a strong word... which is why I like to use it:) You know what really makes my day? It's when people tell me that I've made -their- day with my story... I write this story with the hope that it will make you all smile. If I've done that, then my mission is accomplished and I'm happy. I would love to thank all of you personally but I regret to announce that I neither have the patience or the sanity to perform such a task. I thank you from the bottom of my demonic little heart for the reviews and by all means, if you would like a personal response, just ask and I'll write to you. Other than that, just know that I'm appreciative to no end and sometime in the distant future when this story has come to an end, I'll respond to every friggin' review... and then you all can go on a search for Tenseiga 'cause that's the only my butt is coming back:)